Stuck in a sexless marriage

[anitaa]

hello everyone

 

I am 27 and married for 3 years and I don't have any kids.

 

I was brought up and groomed by my parents to become a wonderful lady. I have always obeyed my parents and got married to a man chosen by my parents.

 

I have been chaste till i got married and abstained from any sexual activity as I wanted to save myself for my husband.

 

My husband is a very kind man and a very good man. He loves me very much and I love him equally in return.

 

However the problem is that our frequency of sex is very less (currently its once a fortnight or even a month)

 

He work as a salesman and so he is out most of the time and he is tired when he comes home.

 

Even when he is relaxed and when I want to initiate sex he plays it slow and seem he wants to avoid. ( by the way i am a desirable woman as i have won few beauty pageants in the past)

 

Even when we have sex , the sessions don last long and ends up within 2 minutes.

 

The only pleasure I get is sometimes by the foreplay but that leaves me even more cranky when he fails to perform.

 

To be frank I get really horny and as a woman I believe I deserve sex very much at my age,

 

I have been trying to work out this marriage for past 3 years :

 

I tried communicating with him and tried to hear him.

 

I told him my needs and desires however I have never blamed him to his face or made fun of him for his under performance in bed.

 

I have always encouraged him by cheering him up and supporting him when he has a low moral.

 

In fact I have been very patient with him for all this time.

 

Also he is not Gay or cheating on me for sure.

 

Recently my husband's friend from his office and his wife who have been married for 5 years came to visit our home and stayed for a month in our guest room till their house got renovated.

 

During their visit I heard them making love almost every night or every other day of their stay ,

 

And i realized I had to ask some one for help or suggestion.

 

so I am here .

 

Please help

[LimeBlue]

Also he is not Gay or cheating on me for sure.

 

How you do know for sure? You can never be too sure on either account in a situation like this - I am facing the same problem.

[will1988]

You said your husband makes love to you once every two weeks or a month? compared to a lot of posters on here, that is actually a lot of sex... some people on here complain about going years with out. Have you actually sat your husband down and told him to his face that the lack of regular sex is driving you insane? Have you told him that you need more sex? Also when you have sex is it bland missionary style stuff? the same ol' same ol' routine? Try spicing up things by adding new positions or doing things you normaly would not do. Also, do you Role Play? if not, than may I suggest that you try. How about dress a naughty school girl or cheerleader or something... and if all of that fails, then I would suggest trying to see a counsilor.

[Mint Sauce]

welcome and sorry for your marriage trouble.

 

Honest answer: a healthy guy of your age needs sexual satisfaction several times a week, at the least. So either he is not healthy (physically or emotionally), or he is getting his needs met elsewhere. The latter could still be through masturbation/porn use. Any sign of that? Failing that, any signs of depression? Has he admitted to being asexual?

 

Unfortunately, I'm afraid this is the top of an ice berg...it always is.

[thefooloftheyear]

Please dont take this the wrong way, but have you put on a lot of weight in this time?

 

TFY

[Thegameoflife]

It's either depression, cheating, underlying marriage issues, or he's gay. Investigate which one it is.

[will1988]

It's either depression, cheating, underlying marriage issues, or he's gay. Investigate which one it is.

 

or that he is just not attracted to her any more!