Troubled with loss of relationship and NC

[lylat333]

I've read some tips for online dating, and most people recommend to meet fairly soon to see if you gel in person. You could waste a lot of time talking to someone who seems great, but, when you meet in person, there is no chemistry.

 

I agree w/ this. There's so much you can't know until you meet someone. How they look, how they talk. I might be weird in that I never called or texted any of the women I ended up meeting before meeting them. A handful of online messages was phase 1, meeting in person was phase 2. It went fine for me.

 

I still can't get over how this girl from FB answered you

 

HA! I'm used to it by now. This girl used to really push my buttons and throw me for a loop. We've actually exchanged a couple more messages, she's being as indirect as ever without flat-out turning me down. I'm leaving her hanging again, I don't know if I will even respond at this point. Last night I had something I wanted to say SO bad but it would've been a pretty smartass comment. (but funny imo) However, I just tried to make a sincere apology to this girl and we're falling right back to where we were. Her agitating me but I'm keeping my cool better this time. I think it's funny because I totally think she likes getting messages from me, and would rather me keep messaging than not. But do I want to lose dignity by playing this game? Not really.

[Mariposa10]

I agree w/ this. There's so much you can't know until you meet someone. How they look, how they talk. I might be weird in that I never called or texted any of the women I ended up meeting before meeting them. A handful of online messages was phase 1, meeting in person was phase 2. It went fine for me.

 

 

 

HA! I'm used to it by now. This girl used to really push my buttons and throw me for a loop. We've actually exchanged a couple more messages, she's being as indirect as ever without flat-out turning me down. I'm leaving her hanging again, I don't know if I will even respond at this point. Last night I had something I wanted to say SO bad but it would've been a pretty smartass comment. (but funny imo) However, I just tried to make a sincere apology to this girl and we're falling right back to where we were. Her agitating me but I'm keeping my cool better this time. I think it's funny because I totally think she likes getting messages from me, and would rather me keep messaging than not. But do I want to lose dignity by playing this game? Not really.

 

 

I'm very indirect, or used to be, kind of fixed it since it brought so many problems in my past relationship....But I would have never answered like that... Yeah, I get the same feeling that she enjoys getting messages from you.

 

The guy I've started talking to wants to hang out, and has asked me more than a couple of times. I never say no, I just tell him that I'm busy with final's week (the end of the semester is here...)

 

But I don't know... it's gonna be so weird to finally "meet" him, when I think of it I start feeling nervous This will be so new, after being with my ex for 5 years (4 years in a relationship but 5 years if you count the time we were friends).

 

I know I will meet him at some point (after we're done with finals week?!). I also want to meet him. But it's been too long since I did this... I also have never talked to a guy and then meet him, I always meet them at a party/school through mutual friends etc... So all of this, feels like online dating... because he saw my pictures online through mutual friends and he started asking his friends who I was...

 

I hate how the selfish prick of my ex didn't have to go through all this when he started having sex with that girl. He was able to move on so fast!! I wanna be able to do the same... because sometimes I feel like this guy is gonna think I'm not interested in him, or that I'm playing games.

[lylat333]

But it's been too long since I did this... I also have never talked to a guy and then meet him, I always meet them at a party/school through mutual friends etc... So all of this, feels like online dating... because he saw my pictures online through mutual friends and he started asking his friends who I was...

 

I hate how the selfish prick of my ex didn't have to go through all this when he started having sex with that girl. He was able to move on so fast!! I wanna be able to do the same... because sometimes I feel like this guy is gonna think I'm not interested in him, or that I'm playing games.

 

I know what you mean. First of all how foreign dating feels after you're so used to being in a relationship. But also how unfair it feels when the other person has moved on and doesn't have to deal with the same struggles. When I dumped my other ex, only 2 months passed and she met the guy she's still with. I think she was fortunate enough to genuinely hit it off with someone really easy, and she deserved it.

 

My recent ex, I don't know how things are going for her but she made the choice to break up and so you'd think she's having an easy(er) time moving on.

 

As long as you stay true to yourself you can't go wrong with the new guy. He obviously likes you so I'm sure he'll be very understanding with wherever your emotions are. If you've been delaying meeting him for legitimate reasons, I think that's OK.

[Mariposa10]

I know what you mean. First of all how foreign dating feels after you're so used to being in a relationship. But also how unfair it feels when the other person has moved on and doesn't have to deal with the same struggles. When I dumped my other ex, only 2 months passed and she met the guy she's still with. I think she was fortunate enough to genuinely hit it off with someone really easy, and she deserved it.

 

My recent ex, I don't know how things are going for her but she made the choice to break up and so you'd think she's having an easy(er) time moving on.

 

As long as you stay true to yourself you can't go wrong with the new guy. He obviously likes you so I'm sure he'll be very understanding with wherever your emotions are. If you've been delaying meeting him for legitimate reasons, I think that's OK.

 

 

I don't know how I feel about your other ex getting into a serious/LTR so fast after having been broken up with you for only two months... I hope she really liked the guy, etc... Because I do think people should take some time off after being in a realtionship for so long, it's only healthy. This time that i have been single I've learned so much about me and like being single. However, it'd be nice to get to know this guy more for many reasons. If this guy wasn't interested in me, I don't think I'd be looking for anything just yet, I would wait a couple of months.

 

To be honest, I'm a little bit scared about meeting this guy. I can be really shy sometimes. It's gonna be weird to hang out with him...just this guy and me. Like I said earlier, I feel like it's online dating haha...And let's not forget how my self-esteem has been damaged. If my self-esteem hadn't been this affected, I don't think I'd be having such a hard time and all these doubts.

 

But, we'll see what happens!

[lylat333]

I don't know how I feel about your other ex getting into a serious/LTR so fast after having been broken up with you for only two months... I hope she really liked the guy, etc... Because I do think people should take some time off after being in a realtionship for so long, it's only healthy.

 

A lot of people thought she moved on too fast, but I don't hold it against her. Our intimacy had gone downhill in the months leading up to the breakup and I was not being affectionate to her. I do think the guy she met was a good guy and they had genuine chemistry. Sure, it was probably still a bit too soon but she lucked out.

 

Ah, you don't have much to lose by hanging out with this guy. Sounds like he's doing the hard work so you just kick back and let things go where they may. He seems to like you so that should be a boost to your self-esteem!