PJKino Posted August 5, 2013 Share Posted August 5, 2013 I see it all the time with with women around my good looking friend they know hes a player they try to "compete" for him he pumps and dumps them then they somehow are shocked and then complain that theyres no good men left Maybe if women didnt go after the same few men with tons of options who have no intnetions of settling down they wouldnt get burnt. Hard to feel sorry for women who knew and saw the signs but ignored it because they were driven by their hormones or ego or whatever. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Dusk1983 Posted August 5, 2013 Share Posted August 5, 2013 What a thought-provoking and original post 11 Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted August 5, 2013 Share Posted August 5, 2013 Here we go 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Drseussgrrl Posted August 5, 2013 Share Posted August 5, 2013 Are you a "nice" guy? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author PJKino Posted August 5, 2013 Author Share Posted August 5, 2013 Are you a "nice" guy? No just unsucessful:laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
therhythm Posted August 5, 2013 Share Posted August 5, 2013 Here we go exactly! Link to post Share on other sites
hppr Posted August 5, 2013 Share Posted August 5, 2013 Maybe if women didnt go after the same few men with tons of options who have no intnetions of settling down they wouldnt get burnt. They know that. It's just more fun for those women to be a victim than it is to have a real relationship. Men who are after relationships typically place a premium on trust and those women don't know how to inspire those feelings in men. Besides, they figure if they can WIN that guy who has lots of options is a huge ego stroke. The guy with few options who is looking for a relationship is easy money, they think he will always be there, but trying to tie down the player who can stop banging all their friends is a lot more of a challenge. Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted August 5, 2013 Share Posted August 5, 2013 By the time most women are 35 or so, there really aren't really any "good men" left. "Good" meaning not just men who aren't serial killers, but who are also good lovers, and good relationships partners. Most "good men" are married. Some might be divorced or widows, but overall most men who are left by that age (35) are either serial cheats, players, immature, or inexperienced losers who don't know how to get or keep a date to save their life. So yes, there truly aren't any good men left by the time many women complain about the lack of good men. Just being single and not a horrible person doesn't make you a "good man"... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
hppr Posted August 5, 2013 Share Posted August 5, 2013 No just unsucessful:laugh: 1) learn how to dress and act in an attractive manner. if you look good they will like you a lot more right off the bat. 2) start acting more assertively. Hit on them, tell them they are sexy, if you want to kiss her on the first date then do it. 3) be selfish, don't commit, take steps to protect your ego so that when you are rejected (and you will be) you won't care and you will already have another girl on your mind 1&2 are key here, 3 helps as well but if you can get 1-2 right then it's not absolutely necessary. Link to post Share on other sites
Drseussgrrl Posted August 5, 2013 Share Posted August 5, 2013 I see it all the time with with women around my good looking friend they know hes a player they try to "compete" for him he pumps and dumps them then they somehow are shocked and then complain that theyres no good men left Maybe if women didnt go after the same few men with tons of options who have no intnetions of settling down they wouldnt get burnt. Hard to feel sorry for women who knew and saw the signs but ignored it because they were driven by their hormones or ego or whatever. Don't you mean SOME women? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted August 5, 2013 Share Posted August 5, 2013 It's not enough to be a good man. You also have to have qualities that attract women, such as good personality, good looks, intelligence, charisma, sense of humor, or some combination that women find attractive. When women say there are no good men left, they mean it's hard to find someone who has the qualities they want in a man AND he is a good guy also. In our sexualized society, many men are more into casual sex than relationships or commitment, and so women get frustrated that finding a man who is not AND has qualities that make him attractive, is difficult and takes time. To find a man like that is like finding a gem, and there are definitely men who have those qualities, they are just harder to find in today's society. Takes more looking and more time to find that type of guy. And unfortunately, since some women have decided to give men quick and easy sex, we've kind of trained them to expect it. And then when those men decide to settle down, they ironically look for someone who would be considered a "good girl", so that she will raise his children with good values and be a faithful wife. So my point is good men who are attractive in various ways are out there, but are harder to find, because of today's casual mindset, which both men and women are to blame for. It's like feeding guys junk food and then complaining that they are fat. Women train men how to treat us. Men also get a lot of negative messages from the media, friends and other sources, that teach them to not treat women well. The PUA community would be an example of that. As long as there are women that will put up with crap from men, men will not change. Fortunately, there are still men who have not been corrupted by today's society, and those are the ones who are relationship material, they are just harder to find. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted August 5, 2013 Share Posted August 5, 2013 Let's put this together then. You are a shy, slightly short man. You have a good looking friend who sweeps up with all the girls. You believe you're unattractive and as of yet, haven't elaborated on how you remedy this (i.e. dress, working out etc) so it's assumed you haven't tried to. You have yet to try to expand your social circle to include more people and have a network that's independent of the good looking dude. It seems like your entire social life revolves around him. You are disillusioned with women because of your one-dimensional experience of them with regards to.....we'll just call him Steve for now . So these chicks dig Steve, he f*cks them then they try to get more and get disillusioned themselves. You wonder "why don't they ever pick me? I wouldn't do that to them". But ask yourself: if you looked like Steve, would you be as well-intentioned? But have you ever spoken to women in a completely different environment? Where do you go? What do you actually do with your life outside of this clique you are part of that doesn't bring you the dating opportunities you desire? I'm asking because I think we should know these things before we can even remotely help you - if you want help that is. Doesn't seem like you do, just want to bemoan the climate, and women being shallow. You aren't over it, and you should be. So, let's hear it. Elaborate for us... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
hppr Posted August 5, 2013 Share Posted August 5, 2013 Most "good men" are married. Some might be divorced or widows, but overall most men who are left by that age (35) are either serial cheats, players, immature, or inexperienced losers who don't know how to get or keep a date to save their life. Somewhat true, same for women. Really the longer you wait the more the good ones get grabbed up. Someone on here made a schoolyard analogy of picking people for dodgeball and that's how it is, the last to get picked aren't the best. Sucks but that is how it is. Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted August 5, 2013 Share Posted August 5, 2013 Somewhat true, same for women. Really the longer you wait the more the good ones get grabbed up. Someone on here made a schoolyard analogy of picking people for dodgeball and that's how it is, the last to get picked aren't the best. Sucks but that is how it is. Reminds of the story from a couple years ago when these guys were playing pickup basketball game at the gym. They only had 9 so they played 5 on 4 and the team with 4 got the next guy to show up at the gym. The next guy was Greg Oden. Before he "died" of course. Link to post Share on other sites
New User Posted August 5, 2013 Share Posted August 5, 2013 By the time most women are 35 or so, there really aren't really any "good men" left. "Good" meaning not just men who aren't serial killers, but who are also good lovers, and good relationships partners. Most "good men" are married. Some might be divorced or widows, but overall most men who are left by that age (35) are either serial cheats, players, immature, or inexperienced losers who don't know how to get or keep a date to save their life. So yes, there truly aren't any good men left by the time many women complain about the lack of good men. Just being single and not a horrible person doesn't make you a "good man"... You seem to place an inordinate amount of the value of a man on his relationship with women. One can't help but wonder if you also tie the worth of women to their relationship with men. Link to post Share on other sites
GoodOnPaper Posted August 5, 2013 Share Posted August 5, 2013 It's not enough to be a good man. You also have to have qualities that attract women, such as good personality, good looks, intelligence, charisma, sense of humor, or some combination that women find attractive. Yes, our cultural message seems to be that you can't be a good husband unless you were able to attract women for casual sex in your single days. Highly discouraging and it adds a lot of pressure that really shouldn't be necessary. Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted August 5, 2013 Share Posted August 5, 2013 You seem to place an inordinate amount of the value of a man on his relationship with women. One can't help but wonder if you also tie the worth of women to their relationship with men. I think the ability to attract a mate strongly correlates with one's value as a human being yes. Are they always the same? No, of course not. Exceptions always exist. Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted August 5, 2013 Share Posted August 5, 2013 That's because they're rarely "nice". I mean just look at all the nasty generalizations about women in this thread alone. Why would I want to date a guy who says stuff like this about women? Which generalizations specifically? And, I have to wonder whether it's a "chicken and egg" thing... Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted August 5, 2013 Share Posted August 5, 2013 but really women frequently lie. no sex no sex no sex is their mantra. so a good man will move slowly and wait a few dates for the kiss, more for more intimate touching, even more for sex. but herein lies the rub. she'll disappear before the third date without explanation, have sex with a bad man, cry to her girlfriends that there's no good men left, get angry, take it out on a good man by being a no show for a date, etc etc etc. I think you have it confused. Women who actually want a good man are not behaving the opposite themselves. Maybe some are. Just like there are some men who will **** around, and then look for a good woman when they decide to settle down, so there are their counterparts, who will lead a permiscuous life with those type of men, and then choose the good guy to settle down with. But then, just like there are, in fact, good men who are looking for an actual relationship and aren't into the casual, there are plenty of women who are good women as well, who are looking for a relationship oriented man who also is attractive to them. If a woman is flaking on you, she is not attracted to you. Simple as that. Like I said, it's not enough to be a good man, you also have to have something that attracts a woman. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted August 5, 2013 Share Posted August 5, 2013 I know this subject is lame but there is some truth to it. For some reason over the years once I made it clear to a woman I was not interested they always tended to confide in me. They get treated like crap by the same type of guy they keep dating then when they have enough that treatment they want to bash all men. I gave them advice but it went in one ear and right out the other. Now when women tell me about all their man problems I just nod and pretend to hear. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted August 5, 2013 Share Posted August 5, 2013 correction. they are rarely perfect. actually never perfect. you see when she pegs a guy as nice, he can't afford any slipups. he can be nice for 453 days and have one bad day and that's it. wheras a guy who doesn't set the bar so high has tons of wiggle room. some players can call girls ugly names and they'll be running back for more. Only women with low self esteem or other psychological issues put up with a guy who treats them badly. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
New User Posted August 5, 2013 Share Posted August 5, 2013 I think the ability to attract a mate strongly correlates with one's value as a human being yes. Are they always the same? No, of course not. Exceptions always exist. Huh. I didn't realize that Gene Simmons and Wilt Chamberlain were the pinnacle of human achievement. Much more so than complete losers like Mother Theresa and Nikola Tesla. Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted August 5, 2013 Share Posted August 5, 2013 It is a generalization. Yes, the good ones get picked first and they generally stay in their marriages. The divorce rate for educated people who marry after 30 is much lower than that of the general population, I read somewhere that it's 17%. Among those, not everyone is "nice". So there are slim pickings after some age. But the women who go after the players are, in general (generalizing myself) part of these categories: - Stupid, and keep doing the same thing over and over again (going for the over sexualized, disrespectful player) hoping for a different result (long term and/or marriage). - Not stupid and just want to have short term fun with a good looking guy. These don't cry after. But there are good, imperfect men left at any age, so personally, at 41, I'm very optimistic. People find love at any time in their lives, why not me? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted August 5, 2013 Share Posted August 5, 2013 By the time many people hit 41 a lot of single people are either rejected for good reasons or very bitter towards the opposite sex. This goes for both men and women. It is very frustrating to hear people choose to only date a small segment of an entire group known for not being good partners then when they get hurt they want to condemn the entire group. If you are part of that group it just makes you want to roll your eyes. Link to post Share on other sites
Drseussgrrl Posted August 5, 2013 Share Posted August 5, 2013 Honestly, it's because some men are very good at evoking a sexual reaction in women. They learn this early on, and many guys use it to their sexual advantage that women come so easily to them. Some guys are just naturals. Whether it be they're great-looking, or funny, or charismatic. What I find so frustrating in these types of threads is that posters like you expect women to somehow "rise above" being attracted to men who are successful with women. That's the thing about attraction though. It's unintentional and primal. It rarely makes sense. Sometimes I can't figure out where your frustration is directed - players, or women? Both? "But I'm a NICE GUY. Why won't she give me a chance instead of going after the *********?" Well - simply put, that ********* makes her panties wet, and you don't. The trick is finding a TRULY nice guy who you ALSO find attractive. No easy task. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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