Women get burned by players="No good men left"

[jma500]

i dunno. your requests sound just like what a lot of guys want to hear. but getting the panties wet is still there on some level. most guys who are single unmarried at 40 just do not have the ability to get a woman's panties wet. they can read relationship books, come to relationship forums, plan ahead what to say, but it doesn't work, even on once which place not as much value on it.

 

Where did come up with this little tidbit about 40 somethings? Its not that they can't, but that they choose not to. With age comes wisdom. We realize women are fellow human beings and should be treated as such. 40 somethings also realize we want something deeper with women then a momentary cheap thrill.

[fortyninethousand322]

You're thinking like a statistician. I don't think that really applies in these matters. The ability to attract a mate has nothing whatsoever to do with a person's value as a person. Trying to attach a value to that ability really doesn't make much sense to me. Not unless the human race were in danger of dying out anyway.

 

Well, I disagree. I'm sure it's not the only thing on which you and I disagree.

 

But, two identical people, one can attract a mate and the other cannot (and both having the desire to), the one who can attract a mate is a better person than the one who cannot. I don't think it's really that terrible of a thing to say.

 

Most women would agree with me. Believe it or not. If not verbally, instinctively...

[KathyM]

Women are attracted to men for a variety of reasons: looks, personality, intelligence, success, character, sense of humor, etc., etc. Women with self esteem do value character in a man. They are not willing to put up with a guy who is a slimeball, just because he's good looking.

[stillafool]

but 'men do it too' is such a lame argument.

 

Why? Because it's true. Most really goodlooking "people" attract alot of attention. That's not so far fetched to believe, it's pretty much always been that way.

[BluEyeL]

this makes sense. what about previous experiences? would a divorced woman prefer a divorced man to a man who's never been married? what i've noticed is when women care less about sexual prowess, he better overperform in other areas.

 

Men in their forties who have never been married come with red flags and most of the time they do have a problem. The question is, everyone has a problem, is their problem something that I could personally put up with long term or not? Being divorced sounds better initially, but there is no guarantee either. Men who are divorced often don't want to get remarried or get serious, just want to f*** around for a long time, or have some other character flaws that made the ex wife to leave them. On the other hand, they might have certain flaws that are acceptable to you although they didn't get along with the (possibly crazy) ex wife, and might still be willing to have a serious relationship. It's really from a case to case basis. Overall, nobody is perfect and above a certain age there is indeed more baggage, but there is hope always. We are individuals after all. One person's garbage can be someone else's treasure.

[Revolver]

The thing is These guys don't really lie to women though, well not nearly as much as people say. They know from jump that he's not interested in any type of relationship or seeing other women and their COOL with it.

[ThaWholigan]

The thing is These guys don't really lie to women though, well not nearly as much as people say. They know from jump that he's not interested in any type of relationship or seeing other women and their COOL with it.

Have seen many indications to this being somewhat true in certain circles. Depends on who you roll with though..

[KathyM]

some will put up with a slimeball. more than you think. if a man doesn't evoke enough sexual energy he could have every trait you listed and fail with every woman.

Women with low self esteem or psychological issues will put up with a slimeball. I do agree that men need to evoke sexual energy/spark/attraction, whatever you want to call it, in order to be successful with women.

[Revolver]

So if being a player gets a woman's panties wet why then get mad at men for being players and complain that romance is dead? Men are results oriented creatures and we do what produces the best reaction. Why blame us for doing what works? I have seen men become jerks after getting burned so much and it's like they become ten times more attractive to women overnight.

 

This is what I've never understood

[New User]

Well, I disagree. I'm sure it's not the only thing on which you and I disagree.

 

But, two identical people, one can attract a mate and the other cannot (and both having the desire to), the one who can attract a mate is a better person than the one who cannot. I don't think it's really that terrible of a thing to say.

 

Most women would agree with me. Believe it or not. If not verbally, instinctively...

 

On the first sentence I'm going to have to disagree- I think that it is a pretty terrible thing to say. It's odd to place so much value on a quality at which any barbarian can be your equal, and any monkey your immeasurable superior.

 

The second sentence kind of brings you full circle. I don't place a whole lot of value on how women perceive me. To be fair this may be because I've always had women around that I know are interested in me- these days I tend to ignore it more often than pursue it.

[KathyM]

The thing is These guys don't really lie to women though, well not nearly as much as people say. They know from jump that he's not interested in any type of relationship or seeing other women and their COOL with it.

Some women mistakenly think they can change the guy, and make the slimeball relationship material or want to be in a relationship. Doesn't usually work out for them.

[Woggle]

but 'men do it too' is such a lame argument.

 

I know. Do they really want to emulate what they claim to hate about men?

[stillafool]

its a classic way to change the subject. so lame.

 

Oh I see, you just want to complain about women. Got it. I'll move on.

[grkBoy]

I see it all the time with with women around my good looking friend they know hes a player they try to "compete" for him he pumps and dumps them then they somehow are shocked and then complain that theyres no good men left

 

Maybe if women didnt go after the same few men with tons of options who have no intnetions of settling down they wouldnt get burnt.

 

Hard to feel sorry for women who knew and saw the signs but ignored it because they were driven by their hormones or ego or whatever.

 

Sounds like a vent. You have the right idea though.

 

In the past, I used to feel sorry for them. Now I only feel bad for women I respect who do get bamboozled by someone even I wouldn't have expected to be a liar.

 

The rest who pick guys any rational person could see is no good, and especially the women who then try over and over and over to "tame him"...I stopped feeling bad for. They dig their own hole in life.

 

Sorry all if I sound misogynist, but I'll be honest. It's no better than the guys who can't find their masculinity and continually chase women who will never date them or be honest with them.

[Content]

I understand attraction isnt always logical but if theyres a women i find attratcive and find out shes juggling tons of guys and isnt that great a person i get turned off and move on..It seems as if men are killed for being slaves to their hormones/attraction but women seem to even moreso in these situations..

 

For alot of women when they see a guy like this it just seems to turn their competitive juices on and they want to win the "competiton" so to speak..

 

I dont think men and womens attractions are much different,lust can cloud the mind and judgement of both genders depending on the person.

 

I suggest you find some new people to hang out with,you seeing your friend attract shallow women who arent into you isnt gnona help your situation.

[Woggle]

Sounds like a vent. You have the right idea though.

 

In the past, I used to feel sorry for them. Now I only feel bad for women I respect who do get bamboozled by someone even I wouldn't have expected to be a liar.

 

The rest who pick guys any rational person could see is no good, and especially the women who then try over and over and over to "tame him"...I stopped feeling bad for. They dig their own hole in life.

 

Sorry all if I sound misogynist, but I'll be honest. It's no better than the guys who can't find their masculinity and continually chase women who will never date them or be honest with them.

 

I agree. I feel as bad for them as I do flithy rich guys who date women their daughter's age then get burned in the divorce. I don't feel bad for people who stick their hands in the piranha tank and complain when it gets bitten.

 

I do feel bad for women who genuinely do get betrayed and mistreated though. There is a huge difference between them and drama addicts.

[Revolver]

Some women mistakenly think they can change the guy, and make the slimeball relationship material or want to be in a relationship. Doesn't usually work out for them.

 

This is true. Just don't say you were fooled or lied too, that's all I'm saying. They know what's going on most of the time

[jma500]

Men in their forties who have never been married come with red flags and most of the time they do have a problem. The question is, everyone has a problem, is their problem something that I could personally put up with long term or not? Being divorced sounds better initially, but there is no guarantee either. Men who are divorced often don't want to get remarried or get serious, just want to f*** around for a long time, or have some other character flaws that made the ex wife to leave them. On the other hand, they might have certain flaws that are acceptable to you although they didn't get along with the (possibly crazy) ex wife, and might still be willing to have a serious relationship. It's really from a case to case basis. Overall, nobody is perfect and above a certain age there is indeed more baggage, but there is hope always. We are individuals after all. One person's garbage can be someone else's treasure.

 

Not all over 40 men come with red flags. Some of us just never had the good fortune to find someone we wanted to be with and who wanted to be with us.

[fortyninethousand322]

On the first sentence I'm going to have to disagree- I think that it is a pretty terrible thing to say. It's odd to place so much value on a quality at which any barbarian can be your equal, and any monkey your immeasurable superior.

 

The second sentence kind of brings you full circle. I don't place a whole lot of value on how women perceive me. To be fair this may be because I've always had women around that I know are interested in me- these days I tend to ignore it more often than pursue it.

 

My argument is that the ability to make someone want to be with you romantically/sexually implies the value of you as a person. That you are so awesome that someone else wants to share in that awesomeness in an intimate way.

 

And since you've always had women around who were interested in you, you have no ability to understand the other point of view.

[KathyM]

true. but many women who have perfectly fine self esteem go for slimeballs too. other women don't want to admit this, but i've seen it again and again and again. some men just don't have it in them to evoke the sexual energy and they are almost certain to be single for their whole lives.

Maybe rescuer types, or women who delude themselves into thinking they can change the guy might give the slimeball a chance, but if they have any ounce of self esteem, they move on when they realize they can't change him.

 

And I agree that men who can't evoke sexual energy are not going to have a lot of success with women unless they change whatever is holding them back, be it their looks, their personality, their success in life, or whatever is holding them back.

[Woggle]

Serial Killers in prison get love letters and not just the attractive ones. They guy who killed Natalie Holloway and Charles Manson are ugly as sin and get female admirers. It honestly would not shock me if Ariel Castro got love letters. Do they have more value as people because somebody is interested in them?

 

Let's turn it around and talk about Jodi Arias who will no doubt have male admirers. Does she have more value?

[Drseussgrrl]

If I don't feel a sexual attraction to a man, we're friends. Simple as that.

 

There's a reason marriages break up when couples stop having sex.

[Joaquin]

I see it all the time with with women around my good looking friend they know hes a player they try to "compete" for him he pumps and dumps them then they somehow are shocked and then complain that theyres no good men left

 

Maybe if women didnt go after the same few men with tons of options who have no intnetions of settling down they wouldnt get burnt.

 

Hard to feel sorry for women who knew and saw the signs but ignored it because they were driven by their hormones or ego or whatever.

 

When u have a life of yr own this kinda stuff wont bother u. But end of weekend no action. I get it.

 

Btw, in most guy groups there is always one who can get his pick of the women on a nite out. In my mates the guy was gd looking and a terrific conversationalist. Spoke so easily to everyone he meets, man or woman.

[fortyninethousand322]

If I don't feel a sexual attraction to a man, we're friends. Simple as that.

 

There's a reason marriages break up when couples stop having sex.

 

If a couple breaks up because of that, that's pretty sad. There's more to life and relationships than sex.

 

I figure by the time I get to 40 once a month sex will be more than enough (assuming sex happened that frequently, could be less frequent for all I know/care) for most women.

[KathyM]

They know what's going on most of the time

Sometimes women do know what the guy is all about. But there are many men who pretend to be something they are not. Pretend to be relationship material, but then cheat on the side, or put on a good front that is not who they really are, so the woman is fooled for awhile until his true colors come out.