Women get burned by players="No good men left"

[BluEyeL]

Twice a week would be nice, but I can settle for once a month for an otherwise terrific man.

[Woggle]

Sometimes women do know what the guy is all about. But there are many men who pretend to be something they are not. Pretend to be relationship material, but then cheat on the side, or put on a good front that is not who they really are, so the woman is fooled for awhile until his true colors come out.

 

I think people know when a member of their own gender is full of it more than they do the opposite sex. What is obvious to a man might not be obvious to a woman and vice versa.

[Woggle]

i see this a lot, he cheats on the side. then he brings up religion and claims god will forgive him because he believes in jesus. no wonder i'm an atheist. i won't date a religious person, period.

 

I am not an atheist but the way utterly horrible people use religion is disgusting. They use praying to god as some sort of get out of jail free card.

[BluEyeL]

what if he wants more?

I'm in!!

[Drseussgrrl]

If a couple breaks up because of that, that's pretty sad. There's more to life and relationships than sex.

 

I figure by the time I get to 40 once a month sex will be more than enough (assuming sex happened that frequently, could be less frequent for all I know/care) for most women.

 

Yeah well - marriages break up over all sorts of things like money and kids, too.

 

And there's absolutely NO WAY I'd be ok with sex once a month. That's a basic need of mine.

[fortyninethousand322]

what if he wants more?

 

I think she was referring to my comment about not wanting sex all that often.

 

Once a month or less would be ideal for me I think...

[fortyninethousand322]

Yeah well - marriages break up over all sorts of things like money and kids, too.

 

And there's absolutely NO WAY I'd be ok with sex once a month. That's a basic need of mine.

 

But you're younger than 40 aren't you?

 

I thought as people age their sex drives decline?

[BluEyeL]

prepare to have a lot of suitors.

I am seeing someone.

[KathyM]

here's what i've seen. a slimeball tricks her at first. she finds out a month in but because she is nice she'll give him another chance. and another. and another. once i saw a good guy trying to pull a woman away from one of these slimeballs. this woman exploded at the good guy. whew that one was something. she's still with the slimeball. she doesn't seem depressed.

 

and the second paragraph. men can change almost everything. but not their ability to evoke sexual energy. a man who can't do that will never be married. you can take that to the bank.

People can change a lot of things about themselves to make themselves more attractive to the opposite sex. Happens all the time. The skinny guy in high school, turned hunk after some weight lifting, is now able to attract women. Plenty of real life examples of people who have changed things for themselves and become more attractive to people. But if they never make the effort to change, then their success with the opposite sex will likely not change.

[Drseussgrrl]

But you're younger than 40 aren't you?

 

I thought as people age their sex drives decline?

 

It seems as though you're making an argument for coupling up with someone you have no physical attraction to, because your sex drive MIGHT decline at 40 anyway.

 

Do you realize the faulty in this logic?

[BluEyeL]

a majority of them do this. i don't believe any of the crap in the bible or any other religious book. i believe religion is primarily a tool for manipulation and i want no part of it. going off on a tangent here. it's a requirement for me. atheists are best. agnostic are ok. not too religious, possibly. anything more, deal breaker.

 

I stay far far away from religious people myself. I can deal with a variety of problems, imperfections, different libido levels, I can deal with average/below average income, but not with religious people, that's a deal breaker.

[Drseussgrrl]

I stay far far away from religious people myself. I can deal with a variety of problems, imperfections, different libido levels, I can deal with average/below average income, but not with religious people, that's a deal breaker.

 

Yep same here. Probably because it was beat into my head at a very young age.

 

Church sucks, period.

[KathyM]

i see this a lot, he cheats on the side. then he brings up religion and claims god will forgive him because he believes in jesus. no wonder i'm an atheist. i won't date a religious person, period.

So this is your agenda? To put down Christians? I'm sorry I wasted my time debating with you.

[truth_seeker]

Most "good men" are married. Some might be divorced or widows, but overall most men who are left by that age (35) are either serial cheats, players, immature, or inexperienced losers who don't know how to get or keep a date to save their life.

 

This is complete BS.

 

I'm in my mid-30's and am not a cheater, immature, or inexperienced. I choose to keep my options open until I meet a woman who is right for me. I've met some nice women over the years but unfortunately not women I could see myself marrying, starting a family with. Then there are the "girls" who were fun to date but I could never take seriously. Throw in the unstable ones, and needy ones, and, well, you got me still single in my mid 30's.

 

I got no debt, a job, a home, a car, and money saved. I will not settle until I find the right woman for me.

[fortyninethousand322]

It seems as though you're making an argument for coupling up with someone you have no physical attraction to, because your sex drive MIGHT decline at 40 anyway.

 

Do you realize the faulty in this logic?

 

No, I'm saying that if I was 40 the number of women who had low sex drives would be more common than women my age are now.

 

Worse case scenario being that in 15 years I'll be able to find some women who want more than sex.

[PJKino]

I know i have to be more agressive with women but its easier said then done for me..im paralyzed by fear and insecurities

[BluEyeL]

Yep same here. Probably because it was beat into my head at a very young age.

 

Church sucks, period.

I'm not sure about Church in general, but the way those people talk is absolutely illogical and I can't put up with lack of logic, definitely not a good match for me. Match in values I think it's at the core of a relationship, beyond sex or income levels. That is what needs to match first and foremost, imho.

[fortyninethousand322]

This is complete BS.

 

I'm in my mid-30's and am not a cheater, immature, or inexperienced. I choose to keep my options open until I meet a woman who is right for me. I've met some nice women over the years but unfortunately not women I could see myself marrying, starting a family with. Then there are the "girls" who were fun to date but I could never take seriously. Throw in the unstable ones, and needy ones, and, well, you got me still single in my mid 30's.

 

I got no debt, a job, a home, a car, and money saved. I will not settle until I find the right woman for me.

 

Please read. I said "most" men. Not all.

 

You are clearly the exception that proves the rule...

[Drseussgrrl]

No, I'm saying that if I was 40 the number of women who had low sex drives would be more common than women my age are now.

 

Worse case scenario being that in 15 years I'll be able to find some women who want more than sex.

 

Well of course women want more than sex. But - you'll just have to find someone like yourself who doesn't need it.

[kaylan]

9 pages in 3 hours? Let me sit back and enjoy more of this.

[KathyM]

I know i have to be more agressive with women but its easier said then done for me..im paralyzed by fear and insecurities

Get some counseling. It will help you overcome your fears and insecurity. I'm working with a guy now who suffers from social anxiety and fear of interacting with women. He is showing progress. There is help out there if you are willing to seek help.

[fortyninethousand322]

Well of course women want more than sex. But - you'll just have to find someone like yourself who doesn't need it.

 

I'm flexible on it I guess. If a woman wanted lots of sex of course I'd comply.

 

I guess I was pondering out loud whether or not women who wanted sex less often would be more abundant and more willing to date someone like me when they're in their 40s.

[Mascara]

Instead of blaming women, why don't you look at what YOU need to do and what changes YOU need to make in order to attract women.

 

And no, the answer isn't "be a jerk". Any man who holds onto this notion that the male world is divided into nice guys/jerks is going to be single forever. Most men are decent, amusing, good company, like women, confident, respectable and treat people well.

 

That's what most women want. So how do you become THAT person?

[PJKino]

Get some counseling. It will help you overcome your fears and insecurity. I'm working with a guy now who suffers from social anxiety and fear of interacting with women. He is showing progress. There is help out there if you are willing to seek help.

 

I think counseling or therapy is a waste of money..I know what i have to do i just have to muster up the courage to do theyres nothing somebody can tell me to make me be able to do it..it has to be me to say f it one day..

[fortyninethousand322]

Instead of blaming women, why don't you look at what YOU need to do and what changes YOU need to make in order to attract women.

 

And no, the answer isn't "be a jerk". Any man who holds onto this notion that the male world is divided into nice guys/jerks is going to be single forever. Most men are decent, amusing, good company, like women, confident, respectable and treat people well.

 

That's what most women want. So how do you become THAT person?

 

I don't think the world is either jerk or nice guy. Rather, being a jerk gives you more options to work with. Dating is a marketplace, and you want to have the product that has the widest appeal.

 

As far as how to be an attractive man, well, most men who aren't that way naturally are going to have a very hard time becoming that man. It might even be impossible...