Women get burned by players="No good men left"

[Phoe]

You came to a dating advice forum to become internet famous? Oh lord.....

 

o.O

 

 

O.o

 

 

lol.

[Imajerk17]

Well, here is the thing: Women tend to be a lot more complicated than men are when it comes to feeling attraction.

 

We men are simple. For many a man to feel attraction for a woman, she has to be the man's physical type (and there are indeed a lot of physical types, from slender to curvy even to muscular), and she has to be a good person. That might not be everything but it is quite the bulk of it.

 

Women are more complicated than that. Now, women indeed do value good guys. For a woman to feel attraction for a man, it is NOT about looks or height or money or even "being a jerk"--despite what the struggling dudes on here say. It is instead more about that elusive chemistry. And it is elusive indeed. Putting a woman at ease AND make her feel feminine takes something special on account of the guy. A guy who is skilled at this is not necessarily a good guy though. When a woman says "there's no good guys left" what she really means is that there is no one who makes her feel that chemistry who also seems to be a good guy.

 

Getting a woman to feel that chemistry is that something that the struggling dudes have problems with. These guys insist that women keep rejecting them because of their looks or height or money but that's really not it. It's something else. These guys will go out on the first date and they won't be able to move the conversation past polite small talk or they won't get the right time to make the physical move. Or maybe their body language was so stilted that the date never even got out of the gates really. So the dates hardly ever go well for the struggling dudes.

 

 

The problems I have with threads such as these is that a lot of women will not acknowledge the second paragraph above and a lot of struggling dudes won't acknowledge the third paragraph.

[GoodOnPaper]

a surprisingly high percent of guys who are 'dateless losers' are nice.

 

Most of the advice given revolves around being more assertive and more sexually suggestive -- certainly fitting for "nice-guy" problems.

[Drseussgrrl]

Well, here is the thing: Women tend to be a lot more complicated than men are when it comes to feeling attraction.

 

We men are simple. For many a man to feel attraction for a woman, she has to be the man's physical type (and there are indeed a lot of physical types, from slender to curvy even to muscular), and she has to be a good person. That might not be everything but it is quite the bulk of it.

 

Women are more complicated than that. Now, women indeed do value good guys. For a woman to feel attraction for a man, it is NOT about looks or height or money or even "being a jerk"--despite what the struggling dudes on here say. It is instead more about that elusive chemistry. And it is elusive indeed. Putting a woman at ease AND make her feel feminine takes something special on account of the guy. A guy who is skilled at this is not necessarily a good guy though. When a woman says "there's no good guys left" what she really means is that there is no one who makes her feel that chemistry who also seems to be a good guy.

 

Getting a woman to feel that chemistry is that something that the struggling dudes have problems with. These guys insist that women keep rejecting them because of their looks or height or money but that's really not it. It's something else. These guys will go out on the first date and they won't be able to move the conversation past polite small talk or they won't get the right time to make the physical move. Or maybe their body language was so stilted that the date never even got out of the gates really. So the dates hardly ever go well for the struggling dudes.

 

 

The problems I have with threads such as these is that a lot of women will not acknowledge the second paragraph above and a lot of struggling dudes won't acknowledge the third paragraph.

 

I fully acknowledge the second paragraph. In fact, I even used the words "wet panties."

[Phoe]

Women are more complicated than that. Now, women indeed do value good guys. For a woman to feel attraction for a man, it is NOT about looks or height or money or even "being a jerk"--despite what the struggling dudes on here say. It is instead more about that elusive chemistry. And it is elusive indeed. Putting a woman at ease AND make her feel feminine takes something special on account of the guy. A guy who is skilled at this is not necessarily a good guy though. When a woman says "there's no good guys left" what she really means is that there is no one who makes her feel that chemistry who also seems to be a good guy.

 

I agree that without chemistry there is no hope.

 

 

But I personally think chemistry takes a little more time to build. That's why I will never write off a nice guy right from the get go just because there's no initial attraction. I have to get to know a guy a bit before I can assess that. My first boyfriend and I had ridiculously strong chemistry, but it took time to build. When we first met there was absolutely nothing between us. As I got to know him I felt the chemistry starting to spark and that's when I knew I wanted a relationship.

[Drseussgrrl]

what should a nice guy do that just can't get any woman's panties wet?

 

Come to LS and start a thread about it.

[fortyninethousand322]

Well, here is the thing: Women tend to be a lot more complicated than men are when it comes to feeling attraction.

 

We men are simple. For many a man to feel attraction for a woman, she has to be the man's physical type (and there are indeed a lot of physical types, from slender to curvy even to muscular), and she has to be a good person. That might not be everything but it is quite the bulk of it.

 

Women are more complicated than that. Now, women indeed do value good guys. For a woman to feel attraction for a man, it is NOT about looks or height or money or even "being a jerk"--despite what the struggling dudes on here say. It is instead more about that elusive chemistry. And it is elusive indeed. Putting a woman at ease AND make her feel feminine takes something special on account of the guy. A guy who is skilled at this is not necessarily a good guy though. When a woman says "there's no good guys left" what she really means is that there is no one who makes her feel that chemistry who also seems to be a good guy.

 

Getting a woman to feel that chemistry is that something that the struggling dudes have problems with. These guys insist that women keep rejecting them because of their looks or height or money but that's really not it. It's something else. These guys will go out on the first date and they won't be able to move the conversation past polite small talk or they won't get the right time to make the physical move. Or maybe their body language was so stilted that the date never even got out of the gates really. So the dates hardly ever go well for the struggling dudes.

 

 

The problems I have with threads such as these is that a lot of women will not acknowledge the second paragraph above and a lot of struggling dudes won't acknowledge the third paragraph.

 

The third paragraph is the one that made the most sense.

[New User]

what should a nice guy do that just can't get any woman's panties wet?

 

 

Squirt gun?

[Imajerk17]

49322: I think I miscounted. By "second paragraph" I meant third, and "third paragraph" I meant fourth.

 

this chemistry thingy causes so much confusion for so many guys.

 

Well I'm thinking of the date I went on last night. For the first hour it was going nowhere. Polite small talk. Like a job interview even. Finally I asked her--"So what were you like growing up? I mean, talking with you now you seem kind of demure and polite, but from what you hinted about yourself earlier I get the feeling you are a lot crazier around someone when you feel comfortable around them." The date really took off after that.

 

Then we walked around Old Town Alexandria holding hands and ended the date w a kiss. We are going to see each other this weekend.

 

See what I did there??

[PJKino]

Well, here is the thing: Women tend to be a lot more complicated than men are when it comes to feeling attraction.

 

We men are simple. For many a man to feel attraction for a woman, she has to be the man's physical type (and there are indeed a lot of physical types, from slender to curvy even to muscular), and she has to be a good person. That might not be everything but it is quite the bulk of it.

 

Women are more complicated than that. Now, women indeed do value good guys. For a woman to feel attraction for a man, it is NOT about looks or height or money or even "being a jerk"--despite what the struggling dudes on here say. It is instead more about that elusive chemistry. And it is elusive indeed. Putting a woman at ease AND make her feel feminine takes something special on account of the guy. A guy who is skilled at this is not necessarily a good guy though. When a woman says "there's no good guys left" what she really means is that there is no one who makes her feel that chemistry who also seems to be a good guy.

 

Getting a woman to feel that chemistry is that something that the struggling dudes have problems with. These guys insist that women keep rejecting them because of their looks or height or money but that's really not it. It's something else. These guys will go out on the first date and they won't be able to move the conversation past polite small talk or they won't get the right time to make the physical move. Or maybe their body language was so stilted that the date never even got out of the gates really. So the dates hardly ever go well for the struggling dudes.

 

 

The problems I have with threads such as these is that a lot of women will not acknowledge the second paragraph above and a lot of struggling dudes won't acknowledge the third paragraph.

 

Yeah my problem is aside from shyness to approach random women is when im talking to a owmen to take it to that flirting level im too worried about coming off creepy.

[fortyninethousand322]

49322: I think I miscounted. By "second paragraph" I meant third, and "third paragraph" I meant fourth.

 

You meant main body paragraphs. I knew exactly what you meant.

[GoodOnPaper]

Well I'm thinking of the date I went on last night. For the first hour it was going nowhere. Polite small talk. Like a job interview even. Finally I asked her--"So what were you like growing up? I mean, talking with you now you seem kind of demure and polite, but from what you hinted about yourself earlier I get the feeling you are a lot crazier around someone when you feel comfortable around them." The date really took off after that.

 

Then we walked around Old Town Alexandria holding hands and ended the date w a kiss. We are going to see each other this weekend.

 

See what I did there??

 

Great technique. Is that all it was or are you legitimately interested in her?

 

It's interesting that "chemistry" has gone from something that couples share to something that the guy is solely responsible for generating. It puts the typical "struggling guy" in a very difficult position. If the measure of a guy as a good catch depends on how well he can generate chemistry with any woman, then that will interfere with his ability to determine if a particular woman is an LTR-quality match for him. He'll be too focused on trying to "catch up" to other guys.

[CptSaveAho]

It's interesting that "chemistry" has gone from something that couples share to something that the guy is solely responsible for generating. It puts the typical "struggling guy" in a very difficult position. If the measure of a guy as a good catch depends on how well he can generate chemistry with any woman, then that will interfere with his ability to determine if a particular woman is an LTR-quality match for him. He'll be too focused on trying to "catch up" to other guys.

 

What? So a guy "LEADING" is not his responsibility? You want the women to do the work?

 

Struggling guy? Lead your life, go to the gym, get a better job, improve yourself without the reliance on just dating looking for a LTR.

 

People that "struggle" in dating, do so in most every other aspects of their lives and typically focus more on LTRs as a means of avoidance on how bad their lives are or unhappy they are

[jma500]

the irony here is the women posting a lot here aren't the reason the thread is here. drseussgrrl, blueyel, phoe and some others treat guys fairly. but a lot of women don't though hence the thread.

 

While there are women mistreat men I believe there are more that do not. Of all the women I was lucky enough to know and get close to, none ever mistreated me. Nor have I met any that would.

[TheGuard13]

He wanted the hot girls who had high expectations regarding those shiny things, and bitched until he found a way to get them. He also lost the next girlfriend he had, one he claimed to be in a love with, after a year or less, and went right back to hating the world.

 

The system works.

[Woggle]

An all female jury let Zimmerman get away with murder.

[Anela]

The system works.

 

He spends all his time on google plus, not with a girlfriend, or having sex... so I don't think that it does.

[Anela]

don't be so dramatic. stretching things quite a bit aren't we?

 

Yes, I'm the dramatic one. These types of threads are never started by over-dramatic men. I relate to them, and I'm called a liar, told that I couldn't possibly have it that bad, all because I'm a woman, so I HAVE to have options. Any old option should be fine, like the drug addict hanging out on the street, or the grandfather who has decided that he wants a younger woman, and thinks I'm his perfect match.

[Woggle]

They didn't have enough evidence to convict Zimmerman, LOL, at the men saying all women are dumb and that's why he got off.

 

 

I know far more many compassionate nice women than men. I do know a few good men, but they aren't as common as good women. Its easy for men to act like sleazy dogs in our society, women cannot get away with that crap and don't have a long list of justifications to use.

 

I don't think that women are dumb but that case is an example of why you can't say either gender is better at being a juror.

 

Being compassionate and nice are not the domain of either gender.

[MrRightNow]

Originally Posted by REAGAN.BABY View Post

Also women overall tend to have higher levels of compassion and are less selfish than men.

 

Men often treat their friends better than women do ? Cognitive Daily

 

If that's true, why do us guys get along with each other better than women do with one another?

 

I've known many women who couldn't stand other women and only had guy friends. But I don't know any guy who resorts to hanging out solely with women because he can't get along with other men.

[Anela]

didn't call you a liar. just that one post was a big dramatic.

 

It's the impression I get when I read posts on here, about us awful women who only want the top 20%, supposedly hate each other, and so on. I was also joking around - I was employing my sense of humour when talking about something that bugs me.

[El Brujo]

Most "good men" are married. Some might be divorced or widows, but overall most men who are left by that age (35) are either serial cheats, players, immature, or inexperienced losers who don't know how to get or keep a date to save their life.

 

Or, maybe they've been around the block a few times and they know there are no good women left.

[tbf]

I've known many women who couldn't stand other women and only had guy friends. But I don't know any guy who resorts to hanging out solely with women because he can't get along with other men.

There are plenty of male misandrists and female misogynists. This sources from self-hatred.

[MrRightNow]

tbf,

 

Can you give an example of a male misandrist, either a public figure or someone you know? I've never come across one so I'm genuinely curious.

[tbf]

Since men tend to be the primary molesters of children, there are enough men who as children, have been molested by adult males who dislike or can't bond with other males because of trust issues and also, self-hatred.