Author L1ght Posted August 27, 2013 Author Share Posted August 27, 2013 I lowered my walls but did not have good enough boundaries...I think I allowed too much to happen too soon, had little understanding of myself, no understanding of him and just let myself fall; I often like to think that most risks are worth taking, but damn the consequences sure can be painful! I think that being able to handle the ebbs & flows of emotions WITHIN a relationship is very useful and can happen without emotional withdrawal..it just takes honesty and commitment to being vulnerable & intimate with another while staying true to one's self--I'm working on that even if I never get another chance with anybody. Don't be too hard on yourself. When we fall for someone we just go with the flow because it feels amazing. The path forwards with them looks clear and everything feels right. If we didn't go with the flow we would just be denying ourselves an amazing experience with this other human being....no risk, no reward. We believe that things will never turn sour even though they always do. I have no answer for how to deal with things when they turn bad....I get caught out by the directions relationships take all the time cos they can never be predicted. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author L1ght Posted August 27, 2013 Author Share Posted August 27, 2013 I don't think it's not about being affected by it, it's about having enough strength to manage it when it happens. It's not about freezing your heart or anything like that, and that's not what Tara meant in her analogy either... So its all about management is it? Managing my emotions in the tough times during relationships? Sorry but it doesn't work like that. Fighting in relationships isn't just about breaking up. Most the time we fight to keep the damn thing alive...to prove how much it all does or doesn't mean. It can be extremely emotionally challenging and the reward when you manage to resolve whatever issue you were going through is beautiful. Making it through to the other side and building on what you already have is the goal that we fight for. When you don't make it through to the other side it can be devastating and no amount of preparation or mind management can get you ready for that unless you weren't 100% committed to the relationship and expected it to fail in the first place. My belief comes from the experiences I have had personally and I guess the "preparation and mind management" that I could take into a new relationship is to know I should expect tough times ahead the further down the line I go with someone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author L1ght Posted August 28, 2013 Author Share Posted August 28, 2013 I feel good today. I can feel that optimism for something new on the horizon coming back to me. Damn what a sh*tty year I have had mentally but it's time to finally put it all behind me. I hate it when I'm negative especially since I've had a good few years of living my life in a positive way. Thank you all for taking the time to help me get all the crap out of my system.....its something I really needed cos I was genuinely going a little nuts trying to work things out on my own. Free, single and happy to be alive. *brushes the past year off my shoulders and looks forward to enjoying my life again* Link to post Share on other sites
mea_M Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 Yeah...rebuilding, re-evaluating, re-focusing and learning is the order of the day. Over time everything changes. There you go. Turn the focus inward. Learn who you are and learn who you are not. The power and strength of truly being at peace with your thoughts is a huge delight in life. My best to you. Mea Link to post Share on other sites
Author L1ght Posted August 28, 2013 Author Share Posted August 28, 2013 There you go. Turn the focus inward. Learn who you are and learn who you are not. The power and strength of truly being at peace with your thoughts is a huge delight in life. My best to you. Mea Thanks, Onwards and upwards we march onto something new. Link to post Share on other sites
mea_M Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 Thanks, Onwards and upwards we march onto something new. You got it. :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Author L1ght Posted September 3, 2013 Author Share Posted September 3, 2013 Heard a song today that had me bouncing on toes as I took my morning jog. "I'm gonna make it to the shore without your light" "without you now this is what it feels like" Indeed without you feels great. Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted September 3, 2013 Share Posted September 3, 2013 Indeed without you feels great. I walk alone as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Author L1ght Posted September 3, 2013 Author Share Posted September 3, 2013 I walk alone as well. We are free from the pressures of a relationship. Infinite opportunities and directions for us to take somewhere over the horizon and we get to listen to our own thoughts and feelings without having to do so while keeping a certain person in mind. Feels good to walk alone right now cos there's a million I wanna do that I've been putting off for the last few years. Today I made a list. Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted September 3, 2013 Share Posted September 3, 2013 (edited) We are free from the pressures of a relationship. Infinite opportunities and directions for us to take somewhere over the horizon and we get to listen to our own thoughts and feelings without having to do so while keeping a certain person in mind. Feels good to walk alone right now cos there's a million I wanna do that I've been putting off for the last few years. Today I made a list. All true, but I must be honest, I'm crazy about girls. I'm ready to have one around my arm again. And just one. I'm a one woman man. Always have been. Edited September 3, 2013 by skydiveaddict Link to post Share on other sites
Author L1ght Posted September 3, 2013 Author Share Posted September 3, 2013 (edited) All true, but I must be honest, I'm crazy about girls. I'm ready to have one around my arm again. And just one. I'm a one woman man. Always have been. Understandable. You'll find someone if you want it bad enough plus if you are in a good place emotionally/mentally then you shouldn't have too much trouble attracting women as us guys tend to give out the right signals to the opposite sex when we are happy in our lives. Its funny the way things work out....well at least for me I guess. We walk alone and find happiness alone once we do the things we love to do and focus on our own personal well being then along comes some lady who we commit to until she sucks the life right out of us and then we start all over again. Don't get me wrong...I know exactly what you mean about having a girl in your arms and I will go one further by saying how amazing it is to wake up in the mornings with them curled up to us but to be honest I really can't be bothered with the sacrifices that come with being with a woman. Guys sacrifice so much and have to put up with so much crap and the thought of all that makes me want to run a mile right now. I just wanna be happy on my own at the moment and I've got a billion things I wanna do that I didn't get done while I was too busy sharing my life with someone else. Edited September 3, 2013 by L1ght Link to post Share on other sites
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