lostNconfusedx10 Posted November 2, 2004 Share Posted November 2, 2004 I was just wondering all of your inputs as to how long it can go before people pass the point of getting back together successfully. I know there are some specific instances where people separate for a long time and get back together happily but there seems like there is more times when people get back together only just to break up again. Also, what things could happen that could change you ex's desire to get back together? besides the obvious ones like finding someone else, finding out you did something stupid while you were apart etc. Link to post Share on other sites
BlueLP Posted November 2, 2004 Share Posted November 2, 2004 I think it depends a lot on the history...just recently one of my friends who had been apart from her boyfriend for almost a year just got back together with him. And they're probably getting engaged soon. However, they had dated 6 years before so there was a large base to fall back on. For others like myself, you may get back together with someone after 2-3 months of being apart and have it not work out. Reasons vary, it may not be enough time to change individually what was wrong before, or it may never have been right to begin with. Everyone's story is a little different. You are right that the successful getting back together stories are the exception rather than the rule. There is a lot to overcome when one or both people have decided once that the relationship should end and violated that trust. Something that get's neglected a lot with all the talk about finding "the one" and "the right person" is how ready a person is be with "the one for them." You could be with the perfect person for you, but have the timing be all off. As individuals, we have to be at a stage in which we're mature and ready to handle serious love. I think you should picture you and your ex both in terms stages of individual/relationship readiness as well figuring out who the right person is. If your ex just wasn't ready, and you were the right person for them, then maybe they'll come around once they have grown up a bit. Events and changes aren't going to shake their desire to get back together quite as much. They will remember you and when they are ready they will want to come back, I think this is what happened with my friend I mentioned above. If they were ready, and things still didn't work out, then maybe you aren't right for each other. In this case, even little things may have a big effect on their desire to get back together. They are probably going to be gone eventually anyway if you do get them back. I think this is what happens with a lot of longer-term relationships that get back together and still fail. If you got both going against you, then look out....you'll end up breaking up again like lots of younger people I know. Bottom line: Time isn't the factor here...you and your ex's readiness to be in a mature, loving relationship needs to overlap with your time with that right person...and what a tall request that is! No wonder people value true love so much Link to post Share on other sites
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