Should I give her another chance ?

[mully99]

Need some advice beause I am confussed by mixed messages .

I recently had a 7 year relationship that broke down appoxiamely five months ago. The ex girlfriend who is 27 years old just finished university and decided that her career is more important than us ( 2 dogs) her words were "I love you dearly and you are the best thing for me I want my own independance from you. By own independance she meant that she did not want to tell me what she was doing at 3pm in the morning.

When she separated she only took some of her personal belongings leaving everything else behind.

Then found outfrom friends that she was hitting the night club scenes and flatting with another man. ( that really hurt me a lot)

Then after 6 weeks I decided this was too hard for me storing her items in the my house and told her that I would pay and move her things out in storage which I did. By doing this I regained some of my power and started my greiving process and stopped seeing or ringing her.

 

We now have been separated for five months all of a sudden she is starting to ring again and talking about things from the past and wanting to know how I am and call me darling over the phone. Now I'm confused about whether she is stringing me along or does she want to have another chance.

She also said that she had been with no one else since she left me, but I dont believe her....

 

Should I give it another chance, or am I better off without her ?

[BlueLP]

You don't sound to me like somone who's totally still in love with this girl. I think part of you knows that she really hurt you and changed things for you.

 

By taking her back, you would be implicitly telling her that this break and her behavior was ok with you.

 

Was it? A question you need to consider. If she really is the one, it may be worth it. But if not, it's just not worth any more of your heartache...

 

I don't think it's a good sign that you already don't trust her about being with someone else. I'm picturing you being back together with her, the whole time wondering if she's being honest with you, and if she's going to bolt at any minute. It's hard to reestablish a trust once it has been broken.

 

It's hard, because you have tons of history with her, but you may have to let her go for your own good. Sounds like you've been able to make good steps so far, good luck with your decision.

[Nosmas]

Should I give it another chance, or am I better off without her ?

 

Do you have any better opportunities?

 

If not, then I don't think there's anything wrong with giving her another chance, providing she's willing to subject herself to your every sexual whim.

 

Also, get her to pay you back for the moving costs.

[mully99]

Thanks Blue LP This is the best advice I recieved so far.

It is hard for me to accept what my ex was doing to me a physcial and emotional level. ( It made no sense to me)

However all the evidence is in front of me and your right, I dont trust her.

I dont trust her being around other men at a social function and I will be forever thining what she did when we separated , not to mention when she is going to bolt again.

Life is to short to be with a runaway why should I prolong my misery and heartache, I'm going to cease contact altogether and find someone else who wants to be with me.

Thanks once again

mully99

 

 

Originally posted by BlueLP

You don't sound to me like somone who's totally still in love with this girl. I think part of you knows that she really hurt you and changed things for you.

 

By taking her back, you would be implicitly telling her that this break and her behavior was ok with you.

 

Was it? A question you need to consider. If she really is the one, it may be worth it. But if not, it's just not worth any more of your heartache...

 

I don't think it's a good sign that you already don't trust her about being with someone else. I'm picturing you being back together with her, the whole time wondering if she's being honest with you, and if she's going to bolt at any minute. It's hard to reestablish a trust once it has been broken.

 

It's hard, because you have tons of history with her, but you may have to let her go for your own good. Sounds like you've been able to make good steps so far, good luck with your decision.

[BlueLP]

Hey, I feel for ya man. Sounds hard, but like you're doing the right thing. I know it's little consolation, but just hang in there for now. You've got a good head on your shoulders and doing this takes a lot of strength...I think you'll be just fine with some time.

 

Best,

BlueLP