time grows shorter, am I right to feel left out?

[CIE]

Hi guys,

 

Me and my LDR g/f use to spend alot of time together. Over the summer we basically spent 60-70% of our time together, not counting sleep. She's just starting college and she has a job. Im actually finishing college and I work on call, so i have plenty of spare time during the day and week.

 

What bugs me is that I applied for this on call job so that i could spend whatever time she had off from school with her. She eventually said that she wanted to get a job, wich i wasnt too happy about at first. I apologised for being against it and not being more supportive. I explained that the source of my inhibition was that if she got a job our time together would suffer even more. She said she understood and told me she wasnt going to get the job. Problem is she got it anyway. She basically works on weekends and during the week when she gets back from school. That coupled with her school work and her friends, i sometimes get to see her for a max of 4-5 hours a week, and sometimes as low as 45mins a week.

 

In her defence she does contact me whenever she gets home from school, and contacts me again just before going to bed/getting back from work, wich makes for the 45mins a week minimum.

 

I'm not really upset with her. I know school is important and that everybody needs a job... She's told me she's sorry she doesnt spend more time with me and I believe her when she does. I'm just worried i'm not #1 in her priorities anymore, because thats how it felt during the summer. Most of all im worried that im slowly losing her. That last statement is due to me being insecure however, I tend to take little things and blow them out of proportion. Im saying this because when i actually get to speak with her for more than two minutes we still hit it off, we can still talk about anything for hours... if we had the time.

 

Am I wrong to feel left out? Or is it that having her constantly with me during the summer has me accustomed to her always being there and that I just havent had the chance to adapt yet.

 

I havent told her any of this. She knows i miss her alot and I know she already feels sorry and making her feel worst about it wont make a difference.

[tia]

That is a drastic change to get used to and you may very well be suffering withdrawl. It sounds like she is trying to keep contact with you and she is trying to keep the relationship alive.

 

After spending a great deal of time together, it SUCKS being apart. This past Easter, my guy and I hooked up in Australia and spent 10 days together non-stop..with one exception (I love to snorkel, he hates water). Even that day, when I was snorkeling, I found myself missing him, although I was enjoying my time alone and my snorkel.

 

When I returned home, I was alone again. *sigh* It sucked! Royally. For 10 days I had him with me 24/7, talking, walking, hanging out, eating and cooking together. It was wonderful.

 

The adjustment to being alone again was rough. If you were together so much prior to this, you may be simply missing that.

 

I would give it some time. If you can tell her how you feel in a non-blaming way, you should. Communication is the only way LDR's will survive.

 

GOOD LUCK!!

[mixwell]

CIE not to sound mean or anything but you shouldn't be her #1 priority.. she is trying to better her life and get a job so i dont think you should even worry... thats how i felt with my g/f but you know what you have to take care of yourself first and then other people in your life fall into place.. thats just how i feel.. would you rather her not go to school or work just to be with you ? thats kinda selfish if you feel that way.. i mean if your married its one thing but if your not you cannot expect to be #1 priority.. i dont know it sucks !