Covering up to avoid the wrong type of guy.

[ltjg45]

Feeling is mutual.

 

At least we agreed on something.

[Maleficent]

I believe women should be able to wear whatever the hell they want...you people need to

1) stop judging a book by its cover

2) if you are looking for a relationship, you have to meet people. To meet people you have to attract people. Take responsibility and learn to screen your dates before deciding they are 'the one'

 

I also hate the whole 'use someone for sex' deal.

Sex is fun. Everyone likes it. Why can't we just have casual sex if we want to? Just because I am looking for a meaningful relationship - doesn't mean I can't have casual sex with someone in the meantime - as long as both partners are on the same page.

 

I mean...I once had a man seduce me with false promises. While I was pissed when he dumped me - I did have lots and lots of sex with him- good sex. Daily sex.

While I once had another man seduce me for no reason at all and never had sex with him. So when he dumped me - I was pissed and sexually frustrated.

Think about it...

[ltjg45]

I also hate the whole 'use someone for sex' deal.

Sex is fun. Everyone likes it. Why can't we just have casual sex if we want to? Just because I am looking for a meaningful relationship - doesn't mean I can't have casual sex with someone in the meantime - as long as both partners are on the same page.

 

There's the problem.

 

It is almost never on the same page in this generation. One person is almost always looking for more and the other person knows it, gives off the vibe that he/she is willing to give more in exchange for immediate sex/money/whatever, and then gets burned not long afterwards.

 

It makes the person who got burned jaded and not so easy to trust, which makes a backlash effect towards others.

 

It is very rare to actually find 2 people in a FWB scenario where they both is aware of their standings with each other.

[Maleficent]

There's the problem.

 

It is almost never on the same page in this generation. One person is almost always looking for more and the other person knows it, gives off the vibe that he/she is willing to give more in exchange for immediate sex/money/whatever, and then gets burned not long afterwards.

 

It makes the person who got burned jaded and not so easy to trust, which makes a backlash effect towards others.

 

It is very rare to actually find 2 people in a FWB scenario where they both is aware of their standings with each other.

 

It's never on the same page because people do not communicate. The guy sleeps with the girl thinking it's going to be casual and the girl sleeps with a guy assuming she will get a relationship out of it - and then complain they got played.

They didn't get played. They played themselves.

 

I've gotten burned many many times - and usually, I am able to go and find the red flags I completely ignored.

There.are.always.red.flags.

 

As for FWB situations…it is not that rare - but one person usually falls for the other and takes a while to talk about it and ends up getting hurt.

 

People need to start taking responsibility for their actions (or lack of action)

[Phoe]

Maybe I'm the wrong one to chime in on this considering I don't get approached, but I find it's easy to show off feminine attributes without really "showing" them.

 

It's called wearing clothes that fit properly.

 

 

Form fitting without being too tight. Nothing baggy.

 

 

If I'm just headed out for a normal day off of work, I'll wear nicely fitting jeans or shorts to showcase the legs, and a form-fitting top. Maybe a slight scoop neck but the cleavage is typically at a minimum. I have D cups so even if I have no cleavage showing it is obvious what's going on underneath.

 

 

I too, am VERY much so of the belief that if I start wearing the tiniest of boob-showing tops, it won't actually help me find a relationship. That would be absolutely silly. lol.

[Lansing]

I met a girl recently who definitely doesn't wear "sexy" clothing but who I find incredibly sexy.. Goes beyond showing what she has got. Just the way she carries herself, her smile, her laugh, her hair, etc, etc... I don't think a girl needs to show off cleavage to get attention. I have more respect for this girl because she isn't putting it all out there too.

[ReadySettyGo]

I met a girl recently who definitely doesn't wear "sexy" clothing but who I find incredibly sexy.. Goes beyond showing what she has got. Just the way she carries herself, her smile, her laugh, her hair, etc, etc... I don't think a girl needs to show off cleavage to get attention. I have more respect for this girl because she isn't putting it all out there too.

 

But doesn't she has an unfair advantage because of her natural sex appeal? What about a girl that is not so naturally sexy? What advice would you give her to attract male attention?

[Emilia]

I mean...I once had a man seduce me with false promises. While I was pissed when he dumped me - I did have lots and lots of sex with him- good sex. Daily sex.

While I once had another man seduce me for no reason at all and never had sex with him. So when he dumped me - I was pissed and sexually frustrated.

Think about it...

But isn't the moral of the story is to pick better men rather than allow them to do what they want as long as you get laid?

[Imported]

I mean...I once had a man seduce me with false promises. While I was pissed when he dumped me - I did have lots and lots of sex with him- good sex. Daily sex.

While I once had another man seduce me for no reason at all and never had sex with him. So when he dumped me - I was pissed and sexually frustrated.

Think about it...

 

But isn't the moral of the story is to pick better men rather than allow them to do what they want as long as you get laid?

 

I think the moral of the story is the first guy had it right. This is a girl that you just ****. The second guy realized that and bailed.....which was also right for him.

[Revolver]

You can't "use" someone for sex. With every FWB scenario there is a choice.

[MomsSpaghetti]

So many idiots and white knights in this thread. I can hardly believe you guys.

 

Making yourself physically attractive reels in the wrong type of guys? Then why not wear a burka? You'll be sure to attract only the guys who are after your personality.

[Emilia]

So many idiots and white knights in this thread. I can hardly believe you guys.

 

Making yourself physically attractive reels in the wrong type of guys? Then why not wear a burka? You'll be sure to attract only the guys who are after your personality.

You have a long way to go young Jedi, that's for sure.

[Maleficent]

I think the moral of the story is the first guy had it right. This is a girl that you just ****. The second guy realized that and bailed.....which was also right for him.

 

Actually, the moral of the story is move on and eventually see the silver lining in all situations...

 

Or maybe I'm just too optimistic for this world...

lol

[Maleficent]

You can't "use" someone for sex. With every FWB scenario there is a choice.

 

Enough with this!

 

The expression 'use someone for sex' is know by everyone as 'dating someone in order to get regular sex when the other person think he/she is in a relationship.

 

Sheesh

[Revolver]

Enough with this!

 

The expression 'use someone for sex' is know by everyone as 'dating someone in order to get regular sex when the other person think he/she is in a relationship.

 

Sheesh

 

But that doesn't happen nearly as often as people say it does.

 

Women just need to stop trying to turn FWBs into relationships

[hotpotato]

But that doesn't happen nearly as often as people say it does.

 

Women just need to stop trying to turn FWBs into relationships

 

Many of these guys dont even want to be fwbs...They just want to hit and run. Yes, there are men who will lie and do whatever it takes to get in a woman's panties then bail really fast.

 

I'm sure these guys dont think they are using anyone since the sex is so good for them. Sex is so wonderful that it can never hurt anybody, so why does it matter if there is dishonesty?

 

This is happens very often...Man just wants to relieve himself really quick. Finds woman he wants to *&^%. Wines, dines her. Says all the right things until he gets what he wants. Then BAM he's gone. I could meet 100 guys and at least 90 would be trying to get a piece real quick. It's all a game to them. If they just wanted an easy lay, they could just get a hooker, but they chose not to.

 

Sometimes it's obvious...Sometimes it's less obvious.

[iKING]

She needs to stop hanging out with you.

 

A 'decent man' will want to get to know her regardless of cleavage, not that men can't judge a woman's body fully clothed anyway.

 

If a woman is visible to a man because she doesn't have her tits out, he is not a 'decent man'.

 

Second this.

[spiderowl]

Personally, I doubt she has problems attracting guys (as you say she is attractive). It's more likely she doesn't like the ones she attracts. I don't think a girl needs to show her cleavage to get attention, seriously. A pretty girl will attract a lot of attention regardless. While guys might enjoy looking at a girl's cleavage (and there is nothing wrong with that), I really don't think you are picking up on the issues she's trying to tell you about. Why don't you ask her why she thinks she isn't meeting the right guys - and listen?

Edited August 9, 2013 by spiderowl

[Carenth]

I very much doubt extra cleavage will help attract the guys she is after. It may get her extra attention in terms of guys ogling her or attention she doesn't want.

 

Seriously if she is as attractive as you say that won't matter. If extra cleavage is the only thing that will bring guys to the table then I question if they are a 'decent man' whatever that is and are probably looking for a hookup rather than anything serious.

 

All my girlfriends have been attractive but not need to flaunt cleavage to get my attention. They were friendly, funny, kind and we had a lot in common which helped a lot.

 

They dressed a lot like Phoe wrote about.

Edited August 9, 2013 by Carenth

[ReadySettyGo]

Personally, I doubt she has problems attracting guys (as you say she is attractive). It's more likely she doesn't like the ones she attracts. I don't think a girl needs to show her cleavage to get attention, seriously. A pretty girl will attract a lot of attention regardless. While guys might enjoy looking at a girl's cleavage (and there is nothing wrong with that), I really don't think you are picking up on the issues she's trying to tell you about. Why don't you ask her why she thinks she isn't meeting the right guys - and listen?

 

You make some good points there Spiderowl. Good advice too.

I'll ask her that question when I see her next.

[Got it]

I have never had any need to put the girls on display to attract attention. Nor is that the attention I want.

 

Wearing well tailored clothes will accent the attributes with a neon sign pointing at them. A man, not a boy, will appreciate and act accordingly.

 

It is amazing how much attention a women in a well fitted suit can get and skirt is right above the knees, and no bosom on display. Still a very sexy look.