Newbie to dating sites - paid a mint for eharmony, worth it?

[Highness]

Doesn't seem so great. Every one of my matches is like me - successful, ambitious, go-getting, professional.... And also Im 32 and only seem to be matched with 35+???

 

Ive always been attracted to the opposite of me, I need someone laid back and calm. And willing to party, Im v immature in that respect. I didn't hide this in my Q&As or profile. I don't get why Im being matched with serious types.

 

What are everyone else's experiences of online sites like these? Im v successful at picking up at bars but maybe that's why it just aint working....

 

Thoughts and experiences?

[smile1983]

My question is, if you're successful IRL why even try OLD? Did you think that you might find someone you'd actually want to marry on eharmony as opposed to the kind you find in bars? I suggest you try meeting people at every day places like the supermarket if you do not want to find someone at a bar. OLD is for people (like me) that for one reason or another can't get anyone IRL.

[pcplod]

Doesn't seem so great. Every one of my matches is like me - successful, ambitious, go-getting, professional.... And also Im 32 and only seem to be matched with 35+???

 

Ive always been attracted to the opposite of me, I need someone laid back and calm. And willing to party, Im v immature in that respect. I didn't hide this in my Q&As or profile. I don't get why Im being matched with serious types.

 

What are everyone else's experiences of online sites like these? Im v successful at picking up at bars but maybe that's why it just aint working....

 

Thoughts and experiences?

 

In principle it's a lottery because the code of ethics of both many of those who use such sites and those who own and run them can be so low. Therefore, in respect of your headline, then it probably isn't worth it. I might even suggest that if it was too successful then the owners of eHarmony might not be best pleased because their subscription levels might actually be reduced.

 

However, In making that criticism and others of OLD sites I'm not sure what "the better solution" is. And for a minority, they are successful. The owners of eHarmony et al don't have to lie about that, they just exaggerate it grossly, and, of course, provide no hard data about the number of members who actually subscribe and who actually make contact with someone from the site and who actually turn that initial contact into a substantial relationship. To be fair, it would be difficult to gather such data anyway, which is kind of convenient.

 

I would comment that it is inevitable that "likes attract like" and to try to swim against that particular tide is going to be a challenge, ie that as a introvert you are seeking out extroverts, to put it simplistically. You might also find it difficult to handle a relationship with a true extrovert when faced with the reality. I reckon that it might be more apt to seek to find and develop the extrovert in you first. I don't think that is impossible, just a challenge. It is a worthwhile aim to be a more rounded person before you pass off this mortal coil. Others can't really substitute for that in any meaningful or useful way.