jonnykino Posted August 6, 2013 Share Posted August 6, 2013 Not gonna bother typing up the whole story, it's in my other threads. Me and my ex had a not so nice breakup, ended up pretty much despising each other, she goes on dates soon after me, and then she get's into a relationship and she doesn't want anything to do with me anymore. No contact for 3 months, she's been studying abroad. Sent her a text asking how she's doing.... no reply. I figured that amount of time would have made things easier but apparently not? Link to post Share on other sites
Sleepwalk Posted August 6, 2013 Share Posted August 6, 2013 Maybe she didn't have time,didn't notice,or whatever,but what you said could also be one of the reasons. Is she stubborn? Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted August 6, 2013 Share Posted August 6, 2013 She is applying NC and moving on. I'm not certain what your situation is but I can only suggest to focus on yourself and start moving on. Reroute your thoughts when you think of her. I understand how difficult it is but you must commit and do the grunt work. It will get better in time gradually, I wish you well. Link to post Share on other sites
Ordinaryday Posted August 6, 2013 Share Posted August 6, 2013 Not gonna bother typing up the whole story, it's in my other threads. Me and my ex had a not so nice breakup, ended up pretty much despising each other, she goes on dates soon after me, and then she get's into a relationship and she doesn't want anything to do with me anymore. No contact for 3 months, she's been studying abroad. Sent her a text asking how she's doing.... no reply. I figured that amount of time would have made things easier but apparently not? No reply IS a reply. A reply saying "I don't want to speak to you, there is nothing at all left for us to discuss". You obviously feel differently but her not replying says exactly that. I know how you feel, I once sent a message to a girl after being dumped and she flat out ignored it. I honestly would have preferred her to respond rudely, because at least it would have been a response - no reply said (at least this is how I felt) that I was not even worth the time it took to respond back to a text message. They do it for two reasons: One) it is so blunt and unequivocal and it leaves no room for further discussion. replying at all opens the door to more discussion, even "but why" type comments, and no reply stops that. 2) it can be seen as the cowardly way out, in terms of dumping/rejecting someone - rather than actually dump them and risk an awkward/uncomfortable situation, someone people feel better just not responding until they "get the hint" because they can just ignore you and don't have to feel awkward. just try to move on. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Ordinaryday Posted August 6, 2013 Share Posted August 6, 2013 Maybe she didn't have time,didn't notice,or whatever,but what you said could also be one of the reasons. Is she stubborn? I was not dumped by one girl as such, but two years ago I had a thing for a girl who friendzoned me majorly. Anyway, I bluntly told her I would not do the "just friends" thing with her, that it was all or nothing, and she chose nothing obviously. six months later she sent me a message on facebook simply saying "Hi, how are you?" - after consulting with a friend he said the best response would be a neutral one that asked her nothing and gave away nothing about what my life was like so I simply responded with "hey there, I'm real good thanks". this was in february 2012 and she ignored it, I never heard another word from her again. still to this day I dont know why she contacted me once and then just ignored me after, but I still hope that she contacts me again... so I can ignore her. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Poptree Posted August 6, 2013 Share Posted August 6, 2013 Same happened to me. I feel silly because I should know better. We just have to move on and get to a place where we don't even want to talk to them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jonnykino Posted August 6, 2013 Author Share Posted August 6, 2013 (edited) She did reply, asked who it was because I changed my number. Replied with "oh right", and told me she was back home. I said I thought she was there longer, and she told me she cut the trip short and didn't want to talk about it. She finished it it off with nice chatting with you. I replied saying that I wasn't going to ask and just figured she was still abroad so was seeing how she was doing. That's it. She didn't reply, I'm leaving it at that. Bad start? Seemed a bit cold/off with me. Not surprising, but figured a couple of months would have 'healed' that. Edited August 6, 2013 by jonnykino Link to post Share on other sites
GB25 Posted August 6, 2013 Share Posted August 6, 2013 yes, seems cold..dont contact her again...didnt seem like she dying to talk to you..move on bro Link to post Share on other sites
Author jonnykino Posted August 6, 2013 Author Share Posted August 6, 2013 (edited) Yeah, I haven't after saying I wasn't going to ask her what happened, and just wanted to see how she was doing abroad. Didn't warrant a reply as such, would have been nice if she'd been a bit more talkative, but I suppose me leaving it at that is okay. *shrug* Oh. According to my friend, her friend also, it seems she's moved on from her last boyfriend anyway and is now blatantly telling her friends she's into someone else and meeting up with him. Ha. Never mind. Edited August 6, 2013 by jonnykino Link to post Share on other sites
Lei Ping Posted August 6, 2013 Share Posted August 6, 2013 Maybe she's dead or even worse, married? Link to post Share on other sites
Author jonnykino Posted August 6, 2013 Author Share Posted August 6, 2013 Haha. Mutual friend just told me she's moved on from her last boyfriend two weeks later and is talking/meeting up with a guy who's younger than me (I'm 22), with a 5 year old kid. She's 20 and still in college.... :/. Oh well. Link to post Share on other sites
Virgil876 Posted August 6, 2013 Share Posted August 6, 2013 Haha. Mutual friend just told me she's moved on from her last boyfriend two weeks later and is talking/meeting up with a guy who's younger than me (I'm 22), with a 5 year old kid. She's 20 and still in college.... :/. Oh well. Should not let that get to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jonnykino Posted August 6, 2013 Author Share Posted August 6, 2013 Yeah I know. Annoys me though. Moves on from me so quick. Dates, comes back to me, new guy, new guy, now a new guy with a child. It's a bit like I was nothing to her. Proved it before with her reply. I would like to think a second chance would be possible, but am slowly beginning to think it's a definite no hope and I should just give up and find someone new.... even though I don't particularly want to. Link to post Share on other sites
Antares Posted August 6, 2013 Share Posted August 6, 2013 Yeah, you can never really know what's in their heads. She could have moved on, be still angry with you, hate your guts, or it just busy. Or maybe she's trying like hell to forget you. My ex contacted me a few weeks ago, after 3 months of NC and I responded. After having a short, but good, conversation she mentioned that she wanted to contact me earlier but felt super nervous. She had been thinking about it for some time. She thought I'd hate her or was upset with her and would be bothered by her saying hi...but in the end, she just went and did it. Best is to just move on - as hard as that is. No one will keep the bad memories forever. Link to post Share on other sites
supaflyz Posted August 6, 2013 Share Posted August 6, 2013 I know what you mean. That happen to me. You feel so worthless and feel like you meant nothing to them. However, you must realized that you need to save yourself. Don't take it to seriously man. She just a speck of your memories now. Link to post Share on other sites
Apparition Posted August 6, 2013 Share Posted August 6, 2013 If she's going on dates and entering new relationships, I would pretty much say it's game over. Also, to add the fact she ignored you sums it all up. I don't know your story, but I have been there before and it's never easy being dumped by the person you think you love. Time heals the scars but you will always have them under your armour, let them be a reminder to you what this person did to you and what sort of people are out there like that. People can be cruel, especially the ones you love. My advice to you would be, forget her, move forward with your life and do not worry about her. I wish you the best of luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jonnykino Posted August 7, 2013 Author Share Posted August 7, 2013 (edited) She did text back, eventually. Was just a bit blasé. Her last text to me was 'ok', after I said I was just wondering how she was getting on, and she replied about 6 hours later. With that. Just really annoys me, because she chased me for ages, then I give her my all and she ends it. Strings of dates, see's someone, then a relationship. When she told me that she 'loved me' a month or so earlier, then tells me she realises it was lust for me and she loves her new boyfriend. And - like I said I don't know if she's now ended it with her boyfriend, but she's already trying it on with a guy with a kid..... AND another guy who's a couple years younger than her. And when I attempted to talk to her, she's cold and seems like she doesn't wanna know me. Suppose I just wanted to get to a talking stand point again, see if I can build things up. But I doubt it's possible. Ah well. Edited August 7, 2013 by jonnykino Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted August 7, 2013 Share Posted August 7, 2013 Be grateful that the exchange wasnt more amicable. It would just get you sucked in more and it would lead to meaningless banter that would set back your recovery even more. Dont text her again. This breif exchange has already set you back some. Youll be fine but PURE NC really is they way to make her part of you past. No need to fill your brain with things to go over. Rock on! Cav Link to post Share on other sites
HobGadling Posted August 7, 2013 Share Posted August 7, 2013 I've been going through this a lot. Talking to my female friends has given me a bit of an idea about this. If a woman ignores an ex it could be because of: A) Hate. "I'm never speaking to that ******* again." B) Embarrassment. "What was I thinking?" C) Guilt. "I should have given him more of a chance." It could be any of these or a combination of them. Some people draw a line under every relationship. Regardless of the merits of the other person. Some people break up because of circumstances beyond their control. Older people understand this and don't hold it against the other person. Whatever the other person chooses you have to accept it. In a perfect world we'd all go no contact for a short period, then reconnect after the emotions had died down. We'd talk about the relationship. What worked, what didn't. Then we'd wish each other well and go our separate ways. Anyway. Hate to be flippant. But for the guy in this case it sounds like he dodged a bullet and should be glad she's not trying to talk to him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jonnykino Posted August 11, 2013 Author Share Posted August 11, 2013 (edited) Yeah I don't really get what I want from this. There's no way I could ever get back with her because of all the crap that happened, but at the same time I keep thinking back to where things went wrong and wish I had like a do over button to do things right. I mean, she's talking to ANOTHER guy, and according to Facebook had him round meeting her parents last night. ... which leads on to my stupid decision of, after having a few drinks, texting her in reply to her last text - which was three days ago - just saying hope she's having a good summer. Low and behold - no reply. It's as though this girl who claimed to love me, wants absolutely nothing to do with me at all now, when I'm the only guy she's been sexually intimate with - even told me she didn't regret it, said I'm the first guy she fell for... and now nothing at all. Also, have I messed things up by going NC for two months, texting her, then replying 3-4 days later? Edited August 11, 2013 by jonnykino Link to post Share on other sites
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