Marriage Counseling Alternative?

[Confusion_Reigns]

We can't afford marriage counseling and it's not covered under our insurance plan(s). What are good alternatives?

[Confusion_Reigns]

No one has anything to offer? Nothing?

[dichotomy]

If you understand what the problems are and your backgrounds and beliefs, there are work books and guides you can buy.

[dchief20]

Here's one, search...World Wide Marriage Encounters

 

Many churches offer free MC too...it's sort of in their best interest

 

Or DIY books

 

"His Needs, Her Needs" and "Love Busters" by Harley

 

"The Five Love Languages" By Chapman

 

Anything by John Gottman

[Confusion_Reigns]

Thank you.

 

We're not religious in that sense so no Church.

 

I just bought the five languages of love this weekend....I bought another book..getting the intimacy you desire or something like that...I'll be reading both of these over the next week or two.

 

Otherwise, I'm at a loss...I'll check into the other book you mentioned.

 

Anyone else?

[dchief20]

Then try googling 'World Wide Marriage Encounters'. They accept every one, you don't have to be religious or belong to any congregation.

[uncool]

are you the husband or the wife?

[Confusion_Reigns]

I looked into the 'World Wide Marriage Encounters' and it's Christian faith based, so that's not going to work for us. I have nothing against any particular religious belief it's just not who we are and I know that they won't understand where we're at and we won't understand where they're at. Thank you for the suggesting tho.

 

I am the wife. I have a back story here if you want to look at some of my other posts.

 

I was thinking last night...as I lay reading the marriage help books I bought and he lay watching tv....he says he wants to save this marriage, that he loves me, and that he'll do anything for us....why am I the one who's looking for the help? Why am I the one who's on the internet searching for answers...why am I the one who called the insurance companies and researched possible marriage counselors...and why am I the one buying these books and reading them? Where is his effort? Where is the "I will do ANYTHING for us?" smh.

[Confusion_Reigns]

To me imposing "consequences" for him seems kind of like what I'd do with my kids...not how I should work with my husband for our mutual benefit. I just have a hard time with the idea that he needs consequences from me. It almost sounds like a form of black mail.

 

He knows where I'm at, he knows what I want, and he knows that our marriage...our relationship...is a two person operation. He's a grown man for goodness sakes....and he's not an idiot...and I refuse to treat him like one.

 

We've decided that marriage counseling isn't going to work for us...we can't afford it and our insurance doesn't cover it. That's why I started this thread...just for some ideas to explore.

 

Thank you for your thoughts I appreciate it.

[dichotomy]

Good book for just one spouse who has issues with the other crossing boundaries and how to deal with it.

 

"Boundaries in Marriage" on amazon dot com

 

Best book I read on how to shift from control to consquences.

[Silly_Girl]

When I was in a real tough patch in a relationship we would email each other. The emails were daily, he emailed one day, me the next. We didn't talk about what we were discussing in the mails in person, kept it separate. It helped. We each took more time to explain, and to 'listen'.

 

It's by no means a substitute for counselling, but it improved things for us in the short term.

[Confusion_Reigns]

Oh, I believe in God just not in the same way that Christian's believe. I know we are not alone and I've never felt unloved, abandoned, or unworthy of God's grace. But thank you for the suggestions.