Outing PUA tactics!

[Star Gazer]

So, as I learn more about PUA tactics, I'm better able to identify them and their users. The ones I see the most often are:

 

Push/Pull

 

Negging

 

"...see if you can impress me." (I don't know the name/term for this)

 

Escalating touching (aka KINO)

 

What others are there?

[fortyninethousand322]

Is PUA really that bad?

 

It just seems to me like it's a tool. Could be used for good or ill...

[FitChick]

Nothing wrong with escalating touching. It's how you determine chemistry and attraction. No attraction = don't touch me!

[Star Gazer]

Is PUA really that bad?

 

It just seems to me like it's a tool. Could be used for good or ill...

 

Negging? Yes, it's bad.

 

"...see if you can impress me"? LAME.

 

These things attempt to posture a woman a man is interested in in proving herself and her value to him. That's stupid.

[DannyMason]

Negging? Yes, it's bad.

 

"...see if you can impress me"? LAME.

 

These things attempt to posture a woman a man is interested in in proving herself and her value to him. That's stupid.

 

Because as we all know, it's men who should be proving themselves to women, right?

[Treasa]

A couple of weeks ago I decided to read about PUA for the first time ever, having only ever heard of that term last year. I swear, there were points where I was laughing so hard that I'd stop breathing for a few seconds.

 

It's definitely not meant to attract women like me (just the opposite), and it's something I don't think any guy in his 30s or older should try without looking stupid, but it's amusing nonetheless.

 

HowStuffWorks "How Pickup Artists Work"

[Treasa]

Because as we all know, it's men who should be proving themselves to women, right?

 

I'm of that silly, bimbo breed of woman who thinks people should just genuinely be themselves and make observations about the other, and then decide where to go from there, making sure to keep a strong self-esteem either way.

[Star Gazer]

Because as we all know, it's men who should be proving themselves to women, right?

 

If a man is approaching a woman he is interested in, he should be demonstrating why she should be interested in return.

 

But that's off-topic.

 

I'm not asking for a debate or analysis of whether PUA is good/bad/appropriate. Read the OP. I'm asking for identification of tactics. That's it.

[Treasa]

 

I have friends who are PUA. What they do best is listen, compliment, listen, compliment, spend money on them initially, and play on a womans insecurities and fears.

 

I bet that really backfires when they meet women who just want to take a man for what he's got and don't give a ****, hey?

[Star Gazer]

Nothing wrong with escalating touching. It's how you determine chemistry and attraction. No attraction = don't touch me!

 

I didn't ask for opinions. I asked for identification of tactics. Can you identify any?

[Star Gazer]

...play on a womans insecurities and fears.

 

Yes, this is the key. What tactics do they use to do this?

[fortyninethousand322]

Negging? Yes, it's bad.

 

"...see if you can impress me"? LAME.

 

These things attempt to posture a woman a man is interested in in proving herself and her value to him. That's stupid.

 

I figured negging was something like asking a girl if she models gloves or Halloween costumes. Like a backhanded compliment.

 

Personally I think that sounds pretty lame, but then again, I can't blame anyone who has used that to good effect.

 

And it's really no different than a guy who has to prove his value to a woman. It's just the other way around. It could be used badly, but maybe not.

[Treasa]

Yes, this is the key. What tactics do they use to do this?

 

From what I read, it seems like a lot of, "I like you, nope, kidding! Therefore you are feeling insecure and will start immediately chasing me."

[MrCastle]

The issue is that while they are tactics -- they are tactics that have been proven effective to work. And come from observing naturally successful men and what works for them.

 

So a man could be doing something you think he is consciously using to get in your pants, when all he is, is a successful man doing what has worked for him naturally.

 

It's not like puas are using their own special group of moves that only they use -- they're using stuff all men who know how to handle women use at one time or another.

 

The only time you can tell is if they "over game"

[Treasa]

The issue is that while they are tactics -- they are tactics that have been proven effective to work. And come from observing naturally successful men and what works for them.

 

So a man could be doing something you think he is consciously using to get in your pants, when all he is, is a successful man doing what has worked for him naturally.

 

It's not like puas are using their own special group of moves that only they use -- they're using stuff all men who know how to handle women use at one time or another.

 

The only time you can tell is if they "over game"

 

I guess I don't give it up easily enough, then, because they'll try until they're constantly "over gaming" and I'm laughing, sadly, at how pathetic they are. I know that sounds mean, and it kind of is, but it's so apparent with so many men. I think this stuff works better on younger women for the most part, which is what I'm sure guys want, but good luck in your 40s or older, when you realize you actually want a partner.

[dasein]

The PUA tactic that I learned to do on my own with experience and excel at is NLP, neurolinguistic processing. It is a pseudosciency sales technique that involves matching speech patterns, body language, breathing rate, demeanor, etc., to a target of persuasion. For me, it mostly involves using words and thoughts (verbal skills) to evoke feelings in a woman that lead to heightened attraction, escalated touching, and then sexual aggressiveness. If there is no attraction there to work with to start, it doesn't work. If there is any amount of attraction there though, it can be very powerful. It requires full attention with few distractions to work, so it isn't a very good cold approach.

 

Men used to write poems, letters and sing songs to women to accomplish the exact same response, so I don't see anything ethically wrong with it. It's not some type of irresistible hypnosis. I've done it so much with good results that I don't even think about it any more. It's part of my personality, and not insincere. I enjoy getting myself turned on and hot too, and they certainly don't complain at the results. My first dates for years used to be sterile exercises in back and forth questions, minutiae and tedium, now they usually result in my being mauled in public places. I prefer the latter.

[DannyMason]

Nothing wrong with escalating touching. It's how you determine chemistry and attraction. No attraction = don't touch me!

 

If you're not supposed to escalate touch without attraction but escalating touch is how you determine attraction in the first place, then at what point is it OK for the touching to be escalated?

[Lansing]

The tactics are easy to find out and read about. Most are pretty open...

 

The "cocky and funny" one is popular for newbies..

 

One thing that PUAs will often do it take a girl on a bunch of "mini dates" in the first night, bring her around to different venues/places. She will feel like she has been on more dates than just the one.

 

Regardless, I think that learning about PUA can help some guys not be that "nice guy" which tend to scare women off. A lot of PUA talks about improving yourself and making yourself someone the girl will want to be with (vs. just faking that you are busy and avoiding a girls call or whatever).

[Star Gazer]

The PUA tactic that I learned to do on my own with experience and excel at is NLP, neurolinguistic processing. It is a pseudosciency sales technique that involves matching speech patterns, body language, breathing rate, demeanor, etc., to a target of persuasion. For me, it mostly involves using words and thoughts (verbal skills) to evoke feelings in a woman that lead to heightened attraction, escalated touching, and then sexual aggressiveness.

 

NLP sounds like a lot of work!

 

Examples of the bolded?

[DannyMason]

If a man is approaching a woman he is interested in, he should be demonstrating why she should be interested in return.

 

But that's off-topic.

 

I'm not asking for a debate or analysis of whether PUA is good/bad/appropriate. Read the OP. I'm asking for identification of tactics. That's it.

 

You're the one who started talking about how bad and lame it is.

 

 

Although, to be on topic; you can't forget about peacocking! That's the fun one. Dress up as garishly as you can to stand out from the crowd and call attention to yourself.

[MrCastle]

I guess I don't give it up easily enough, then, because they'll try until they're constantly "over gaming" and I'm laughing, sadly, at how pathetic they are. I know that sounds mean, and it kind of is, but it's so apparent with so many men. I think this stuff works better on younger women for the most part, which is what I'm sure guys want, but good luck in your 40s or older, when you realize you actually want a partner.

 

I mean a lot of it is mental masturbation. And for men who are not experienced, they tend to take it overboard in a way to speed up the successful payoff. After crashing and burning, and a lot of trial and error, they taper their game accordingly.

 

I still think attraction is more than knowing game, and if a girl likes you, she likes you if you're an "afc" or if you're an alpha, and if she doesn't like you, it doesn't matter how strong your game is, it's not happening.

 

I know in my case though, early on, I would have girls interested but I didn't know how to close the deal. I would screw it up in some way or another. Game to me is not as much landing a girl as much as it is keeping one.

[Treasa]

You're the one who started talking about how bad and lame it is.

 

 

Although, to be on topic; you can't forget about peacocking! That's the fun one. Dress up as garishly as you can to stand out from the crowd and call attention to yourself.

 

....This actually WORKS?

 

Also, I don't get the magic trick thing at all. Why would that make a girl lust for you? I'd be, "Cool, can I have my watch back now?"

[Treasa]

I still think attraction is more than knowing game, and if a girl likes you, she likes you if you're an "afc" or if you're an alpha, and if she doesn't like you, it doesn't matter how strong your game is, it's not happening.

 

 

Ok, look, I'm from Wisconsin. Here AFC means American Football Conference, which the Pack is not part of. What does afc mean in PUA?

[MrCastle]

Do you have any PUA tactics to identify to be on-topic?

 

Sure.

 

Getting past ASD (anti slut defense)

 

When a guy tries to get a girl to sleep with him on the first date or fairly early on in their relationship, and she puts a stop to it, he teases her.

 

So he'll make out heavily with her, touch her intimately, and when he tries to take the panties off and she stops him, he says "ok, you're right, I'll stop." And then completely go cold on her and roll over in bed, never touching her again until she (almost always) starts it up again and wants to continue being intimate. Eventually the girl will come around and sleep with them after being teased like this a few times.

 

AFC = average frustrated chump btw

[Treasa]

NLP is used by both genders, though, and in a variety of circumstances. I don't think it can be classified as PUA, but really just a method of it.