Outing PUA tactics!

[Star Gazer]

Am I going to ask a salmon the best way to catch a fish?

 

When I want to know why men think and behave the way they do, I go to the source, which means I usually seek the advice of men... not women.

[tbf]

Push/Pull = Giving someone what they give you in terms of attention

No, that's not push/pull. Push/pull is to increase anxiety by blowing hot and cold so she doesn't know where she stands with you. An increase of anxiety level can be used to gain her compliance.

[kaylan]

Wrong. It's intentionally giving and then withdrawing attention.

No Im not wrong. Im on a couple PUA boards. Guys intentionally give and withdraw attention based on the womans behavior. If shes flaky, he pulls back and lets her counteroffer a hangout. If shes eager to hang out he pushes forward and is very assertive.

Wrong. It's intentionally creating insecurity and fear in a woman.

No youre wrong. Most guys Ive seen talk about negging do it as a backhanded compliment and a way to kid around with a girl and create tension. I do this with girls, and I like when girls do this with me. Its always playful. In fact I do this with most of my chick friends.

 

Youre really overthinking this PUA crap by making this thread. Almost as much as PUA guys overthink stuff by creating terms for fairly common dating interactions.

[fortyninethousand322]

I can definitely understand why that would hurt. However, it's not a reflection of YOU. For all you know, she had a wart on her hand. Or her hands were sweaty and she was embarrassed. It could have been anything.

 

You can choose to be happy without changing anything in your life. Honest. OK, I'm getting away from the topic...

 

Well, I wish I could believe that.

 

Until something changes, I cannot help but be sure that women are repulsed by me. And I know I can't be the only man who has those kinds of thoughts.

 

Which is why things like PUA attract certain people. I haven't used it, nor do I think I would. I'm just explaining why a man would think about using it.

[kaylan]

No, that's not push/pull. Push/pull is to increase anxiety by blowing hot and cold so she doesn't know where she stands with you. An increase of anxiety level can be used to gain her compliance.

Not every PUA site agrees exactly on what it is, but the places I frequent dont use push-pull for mind games. Its used to make sure a guy doesnt waste his time on a girl whos not into him.

[Treasa]

Well, I wish I could believe that.

 

Until something changes, I cannot help but be sure that women are repulsed by me. And I know I can't be the only man who has those kinds of thoughts.

 

Which is why things like PUA attract certain people. I haven't used it, nor do I think I would. I'm just explaining why a man would think about using it.

 

That makes me really sad. I wish I could give you a glimpse into my mind. I wasn't always like this. I was once very much like you.

 

I don't think you're repulsive, but no girl will ever convince you of that, even if she's having sex with you, unless you believe it yourself.

[mesmerized]

No Im not wrong. Im on a couple PUA boards. Guys intentionally give and withdraw attention based on the womans behavior. If shes flaky, he pulls back and lets her counteroffer a hangout. If shes eager to hang out he pushes forward and is very assertive.

 

No youre wrong. Most guys Ive seen talk about negging do it as a backhanded compliment and a way to kid around with a girl and create tension. I do this with girls, and I like when girls do this with me. Its always playful. In fact I do this with most of my chick friends.

 

Youre really overthinking this PUA crap by making this thread. Almost as much as PUA guys overthink stuff by creating terms for fairly common dating interactions.

 

haha, I do those things naturally with men too. First one makes logical sense and second one is just being playful. If a light playful version is all PUA is saying, fine by me and probably most people. But things I've read online

say otherwise.

[joystickd]

If a man is approaching a woman he is interested in, he should be demonstrating why she should be interested in return.

 

But that's off-topic.

 

I'm not asking for a debate or analysis of whether PUA is good/bad/appropriate. Read the OP. I'm asking for identification of tactics. That's it.

They should demonstrate to each other.

[kaylan]

And which sites are those? Because all of the sites I've reviewed do not use it as a DEFENSIVE or RESPONSE measure, as you're describing, but rather as an intentional tactic, and the withholding is usually employed when she *is* attentive. See Bobalot's example earlier in the thread.

If youre on typical scammy PUA sites that try to sell guys books and live crash courses, than those guys are full of crap. By the sounds of it, thats where you get your info.

[joystickd]

And which sites are those? Because all of the sites I've reviewed do not use it as a DEFENSIVE or RESPONSE measure, as you're describing, but rather as an intentional tactic, and the withholding is usually employed when she *is* attentive. See Bobalot's example earlier in the thread.

Trying to figure out what is PUA so you can logically have a response is so PUA lol

[Star Gazer]

If youre on typical scammy PUA sites that try to sell guys books and courses, than those guys are full of crap. By the sounds of it, thats where you get your info.

 

Are you going to identify the sites you claim support your definition of these terms for which everyone else here disagrees?

[Treasa]

If youre on typical scammy PUA sites that try to sell guys books and courses, than those guys are full of crap. By the sounds of it, thats where you get your info.

 

Her original post was asking what PUA techniques were. I assume in an effort to know what to avoid?

 

I didn't get the feeling that she came here to bash men, but rather to get more information. She asked people in the beginning to stay on topic.

 

And I like you both just fine.

[sillyanswer]

Not every PUA site agrees exactly on what it is, but the places I frequent dont use push-pull for mind games. Its used to make sure a guy doesnt waste his time on a girl whos not into him.

 

I don't know (or really care) what it's called in PUA terminology, but matching the interaction/communication style and frequency in order to avoid wasting time on someone who seems uninterested just seems more like a sensible thing to do rather than something manipulative.

[Anela]

lol, men are scary in person too. Why do you think women are so deadly afraid of asking men out? same reasons!

 

Yep, it's true for some of us. I know it is of me. I decided to hang around here, so that I could learn to interact with men again - just learn to be comfortable around them again, online and off.

 

And I cant believe this thread is 20 pages already. I just cant be bothered to get that invested in threads here anymore like some of you. This crap aint that serious.

 

It's funny, some of the posts (posters) have been cracking me up.

 

It is serious, though, when people are using this to screw with people's heads. It worked on me with one guy, only because of other things. I felt free when he left me alone for a while, before he did something else that made me feel even worse.

 

No, that's not push/pull. Push/pull is to increase anxiety by blowing hot and cold so she doesn't know where she stands with you. An increase of anxiety level can be used to gain her compliance.

 

Yep. This is what was used on me, for the most part. It was the timing, left me feeling like everyone else would have the same response (to what I'd told him, before he disappeared on me for a while). It really hurts some of us; it's bad enough when used on someone who is healthy, but used on someone who already has insecurities? Then came the putting me down... I was better off when I clued in to what was happening, but he really did some damage, when I'd been doing better for myself.

[kaylan]

haha, I do those things naturally with men too. First one makes logical sense and second one is just being playful. If a light playful version is all PUA is saying, fine by me and probably most people. But things I've read online

say otherwise.

The vast majority of PUA sites are scams preying on unsuccessful guys. There are a few forums that do help guys get better with women and understand them. However these forums do have a fair bit of misogyny on them. I joined one site a couple years ago because I found it interesting, but soon learn a lot of it is mental masturbatory BS mixed with bitterness towards females.

Edited August 7, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Anela]

Stroking somebody on the calf or brushing hair away from their face isn't an extension of a normal hand gesture. It's a gesture that is only going to seem natural if you've already got a fairly intimate relationship with somebody.

 

Yep. My Dad said that he knew my sister and her boyfriend were sleeping together, when they were sitting next to each other on the couch, and he had his hand on her calf. It was a more intimate gesture than holding hands.

[Star Gazer]

Trying to figure out what is PUA so you can logically have a response is so PUA lol

 

...avoid it, yes.

 

That's what this thread was intended to do, from the get go. Seems the very users of PUA refuse to allow that to happen. They need their victims of their manipulation to stay prey-able!

[joystickd]

Her original post was asking what PUA techniques were. I assume in an effort to know what to avoid?

 

I didn't get the feeling that she came here to bash men, but rather to get more information. She asked people in the beginning to stay on topic.

 

And I like you both just fine.

Let's be honest here most women bash PUA but barely look into what encompasses PUA. There are different schools of thought about meeting women. Indirect approach and direct approach are two different ways of doing it. I read it I like direct like Alan Roger Currie but eventually I got into guys were not considered PUA like Tariq Nasheed and Player Supreme.

 

What is the problem for someone who doesn't know how to interact with women to learn how?

[kaylan]

Are you going to identify the sites you claim support your definition of these terms for which everyone else here disagrees?

Roosh forums arent too bad. Theres no consensus on that board and guys seem to be more even keeled in their dating approach. Sosuave has some good tidbits as well, but some of the regulars on that board try to drown people out with their annoyingly negative groupthink.

 

The whole PUA thing today is a shell of its former self though

 

I look at some info from way back in the early 2000s when this stuff became popular, and its almost night and day. What used to be something to make guys better themselves and really enjoy women, has become polluted with a lot of bitterness and disdain towards women.

[Treasa]

The vast majority of PUA sites are scams preying on unsuccessful guys. There are a few forums that do help guys get better with women and understand them. However these forums do have a fair bit of misogyny on them. I joined one site a couple years ago because I found it interesting, but soon learn a lot of it is mental masturbatory BS mixed with bitterness towards females.

 

I try and genuinely help males as much as I try and help females, but more often than not I get the feeling that some of the guys here think I'm trying to bash them or something, and I'm not. I genuinely care for people. It's hard to get to someone who's really sensitive. Again, another reason why I think people should just let go and relax. Take things in the best light possible.

 

I think that works really well in attracting others, too, and doesn't require manipulation.

Edited August 7, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Treasa]

Let's be honest here most women bash PUA but barely look into what encompasses PUA. There are different schools of thought about meeting women. Indirect approach and direct approach are two different ways of doing it. I read it I like direct like Alan Roger Currie but eventually I got into guys were not considered PUA like Tariq Nasheed and Player Supreme.

 

What is the problem for someone who doesn't know how to interact with women to learn how?

 

I only bash the "negging" and things like that. Anything about making yourself more confident is fine. I think it's certain aspects of PUA. The ones that give it a bad rap.

[joystickd]

...avoid it, yes.

 

That's what this thread was intended to do, from the get go. Seems the very users of PUA refuse to allow that to happen. They need their victims of their manipulation to stay prey-able!

Either way its just like you are PUA. You are trying to come up with a logical response. Have you ever really considered the crap men actually have to put up with when it comes to women? When one considers that PUA isn't really that bad. Hell only a small amount of people actually use it lol. You are only trying to protect yourself from like 1-5% of males

[Taramere]

Am I going to ask a salmon the best way to catch a fish?

 

If the salmon is interested in meeting and forming a relationship with a fisherman - then yes. If you regard the salmon as nothing more than prey to be caught and used for food, then obviously not.

[joystickd]

Roosh forums arent too bad. Theres no consensus on that board and guys seem to be more even keeled in their dating approach. Sosuave has some good tidbits as well, but some of the regulars on that board try to drown people out with their annoyingly negative groupthink.

 

The whole PUA thing today is a shell of its former self though

 

I look at some info from way back in the early 2000s when this stuff became popular, and its almost night and day. What used to be something to make guys better themselves and really enjoy women, has become polluted with a lot of bitterness and disdain towards women.

This is true and some of them actually took a more natural approach so when women actually check it out there are looking at stuff that is from years ago lol

[veggirl]

I just can't buy that PUA is so widespread that people need to like, be aware and watchful for it. I've never met a single person outside of the internet who even knows what it is. Most people who are on this board probably never even heard about it UNTIL LS. Most of the "PUA" **** I have read about on LS is stuff that some guys have been doing since the beginning of time, except now it has a name. I've never felt like I was being the target of a "PUA"--I feel like this is something that exists in OLD and not real world interactions that didn't start on the internet.

 

I think people are paranoid about being the "victim" of PUA. Some of the examples I've seen here "hmm I don't know if we would get along" or "what would your best friends say about you, good and bad" do not sound like anything suspect/special to me. I mean maybe you WOULDN'T get along and he really IS thinking that? And asking what people think about you...isn't that pretty common...? How would your best friend describe you and all that. IDK I just can't buy that a significant portion of the male population even knows what PUA is let alone employs it on the reg.