Outing PUA tactics!

[ltjg45]

And it's a stupid fhucking rule.

 

Niceness does not always mean shy nor softly spoken. It just means not treating the girl like a conquest or a prize.

 

No, it doesn't but, in most cases, it tends to be that way. The guys who tend to be "nice" is typically the guys who has the least overall experience with women than everyone else.

 

That came into full circle at the place I work. There is this one tall guy who is clearly a player. Already married, has 2 kids, and I learned yesterday that he's 23, at least 3 years younger than I am. He also wanted to hit on another woman who works there but didn't want to tell me because, apparently, he's afraid that I would take her from him.

 

Like, really?

 

Anyway, when you compare him to me, we are light years apart in women attraction. I am 3 years older than him and yet I got absolutely no luck with women and yet he is married with 2 kids and still goofing off. He apparently got "game" and has the results to back it up. I don't and well.......yeah.

 

Sure, I may be one of those "nice guys", one of those guys who would fit "The Husband" role perfectly. The kind of guy women who is 30-35 and older would be glad to have. I'm not as shy as I was when I was back in high school but I still don't engage people constantly and I can easily be softly spoken. I almost never raise my voice unless I need to. However, I am also a 26-year old virgin who is turning 27 next month and, if I were to be rated by other males, I can't get any lower on the bar of women attraction outside of those males who is older and still virgins.

 

I don't know what to make of it and, frankly, I don't give two craps about what society thinks of me. However, society got a point. Compared to other males, I'm behind the curve and expecting to actually get married before I turn 35 doesn't look so good right now whereas most males would have got married 2-3 times before they turn 35 at this rate.

[Radu]

In a way not a stupid term. Honestly who wants to settle for friendship when you wanted more. Just like for women who wants to settle for being a bootycall when you wanted more. It's the same principle but when it comes to men everyone is like "Oh just deal with it"

 

Friendzoning has a bad name because ppl take it personally, they only look at yet another rejection [even if it's soft].

Friendzoning has advantages, you can use it to create a social circle, activity, get those nice pics with good looking fun girls.

 

You can use the opportunity to open doors that otherwise would not be open to you, and in their company ... your value would increase.

 

All you have to do is accept and dive into it, instead of holding out for that hope that one day she will be bored and horny enough to entertain having sex with you.

[joystickd]

Friendzoning has a bad name because ppl take it personally, they only look at yet another rejection [even if it's soft].

Friendzoning has advantages, you can use it to create a social circle, activity, get those nice pics with good looking fun girls.

 

You can use the opportunity to open doors that otherwise would not be open to you, and in their company ... your value would increase.

 

All you have to do is accept and dive into it, instead of holding out for that hope that one day she will be bored and horny enough to entertain having sex with you.

The same could be said for women that were just bootycalls they should accept and dive into it instead of holding out for the hope one day the man would get bored and want a relationship with them. The thing is it's a rejection no matter how you put it and men don't go out looking for friendship. Men want sex either in the context of short term non monogamous, short term monogamous, or long term monogamous. The other thing women have to understand is for men it's an evolution in a sense for some when it comes to dating and relationships. Men you meet aren't permanently players you are just meeting who he is at that time.

[RedRobin]

I don't think I know what duping glee would look like.

 

Ok, watch this...

 

Pamela Meyer: How to spot a liar | Video on TED.com

[joystickd]

It's a fact of life that sometimes you have to settle for something less than you want, despite all your efforts.

 

And settling for friendship, if that's what it is, is just another opportunity to meet more people. Like I said, I met girlfriends and a fiancé through people who didn't want more with me. And I made a friend as well.

 

Getting into a huff and stomping your feet like Veruca Salt just because you didn't get what you wanted isn't exactly attractive either.

Choosing to settle isn't either. Let's be honest here once they see you as undesirable they are not running to fix you up with their friends. I think we all can go out and meet new friends but in this context it's best to never settle. Women don't settle to be just bootycalls so why should men settle to be just friends when they can do like women and just move on to someone that wants them and forget about the person that wanted them to settle.

[joystickd]

PUA would be great if it just focused on the confidence building and inner game. Those were the aspect that helped me. All that approaching and negging and other crap I read but never used because it wasn't me. A different school of thought when it comes to dating/relationships attracted me so I learned that.

[joystickd]

Speak for yourself.

and many others. Come on no man goes and says "Hey look she is so hot! I bet she would make a great friend!" You selling friendship is no different that what these women think of PUA lol

[Radu]

The same could be said for women that were just bootycalls they should accept and dive into it instead of holding out for the hope one day the man would get bored and want a relationship with them. The thing is it's a rejection no matter how you put it and men don't go out looking for friendship. Men want sex either in the context of short term non monogamous, short term monogamous, or long term monogamous. The other thing women have to understand is for men it's an evolution in a sense for some when it comes to dating and relationships. Men you meet aren't permanently players you are just meeting who he is at that time.

 

I don't care what it can be said about, all i know is that it's an 'in' for having a decent social life, which increases your chances of getting a gf exponentially.

[joystickd]

I don't care what it can be said about, all i know is that it's an 'in' for having a decent social life, which increases your chances of getting a gf exponentially.

Not really. I am more for being a man with a great personality and having positive energy. When it comes to settling you often get what you settle for. I would rather have a female friend that I met and became friends with than someone I wanted more than friendship with and had to settle for. That is more of an "in" than anything because she is a genuine friend not someone who can potentially see you as an orbiter or some sucker than is just hanging around her. Most people assume I am against being friends with women when I am not. I am just against it when it is settle for instead of a genuine friendship.

[Robert]

This is a reminder to stay on topic

[Highness]

Maybe I'm just naïve or maybe in Sydney guys don't give a ****e enough to play a tactic, it def seems bigger in the US (and Ive lived there). Unless you are supremely ugly (like that f#ckwit author Neil Strauss) there is no reason to play tactics. I don't understand any of these 'rules' - you either like someone or not, you think they're funny or not. If they're pretending to be someone else for the sake of a **** (which we have all experienced, girls) then that's a lesson for us. And I can see through that a mile away now. Its repulsive.

 

Its hard enough to be yourself when you meet knew people. I don't get why there should be more layers added to that.

 

Okay maybe Im officially old! "Kids these days..." Haha.

[dasein]

Bit of a generalisation, isn't it?

 

We learn most of the useful things we learn in life via generalization. Men see certain things bear out again and again growing up where dating and success with women are concerned, and are given positive and negative feedback in our own endeavors. People do not start off on a level playing field. The difference is that unlike other learned skills, being good with women in actuality is very different from what many are told being good with women was/is/should be. Most men adapt and learn fairly quickly, find things that work for them, enough to achieve their goals, which are various. Some do not.

 

Over time, the repetition of failure for these latter becomes a phobia, maybe even what used to be called "neurosis." Just like Toastmasters is there for people with certain phobias, PUA, the equivalent of the huge "relationship book" industry (that dwarfs PUA by a large margin) mostly consumed by similarly situated women, is there for men. Much of that latter industry is dubious in worth, as is PUA. Some of it is valuable, lots of it is common sense dressed up for sale, same for relationship books, same for PUA. Like any other human interaction, things learned can be used in a healthy way, or an unhealthy way. Yet for some reason, PUA is singled out as some kind of nefarious plot to do some nefarious thing, whereas the relationship book industry for women is most certainly not.

 

There are now forums for many hit relationship books, as there are PUA forums. As on all forums on the internet, people post objectionable things, and people troll on them. Relationship book authors, often hoodoo salesmen, go on television and are heralded as insightful sages. PUAs are generally mocked and scorned. There are relationship books titled "How to Train Your Man Like a Dog," yet PUA rarely goes that far in sniding the opposite sex. There is a massive double standard, and this thread is an example of it. A thread about "The Rules" or whatever relationship book du jour with noxious content would never grow to 30 pages in a few hours, nor have to be pared down due to violations. A thread on "What to watch out for in female manipulation" would go a few pages with not much fanfare.

 

This thread tells far more about the current state of female privilege in the world than anything about "how to watch out for PUA techniques." A poster summed the reason up in another thread in a simple way. It's because... penis.

[Star Gazer]

This is a reminder to stay on topic

 

Sadly, I think this thread should be closed, as it ceased responding to the OP.

[Robert]

Another one bites the dust, thanks for participating