Outing PUA tactics!

[BradJacobs]

NLP sounds like a lot of work!

 

Examples of the bolded?

It's similar to parroting.

 

Ever notice how some sales guys nod their heads when they talk? It's been proven that subjects will agree more often when they do this than if they didn't do this at all. It has to be subtle enough to be recognized subconsciously without consciously drawing attention to it.

[Imajerk17]

Yes

 

--Good confident body language.

 

--Good confident tonality.

 

--The right blend of talking about himself and asking you questions about yourself so that you have a good conversation instead of getting stuck on small talk.

 

--Making a move when the time is right, not too soon and not too late. Knowing when to make the move.

 

--Actually planning the date out instead of winging it or asking "dud what do you want to doooo????".

 

ALL PUA tactics, or at least all the stuff from which PUA tactics are derived from. Wait, isn't that how men should act on first dates?? Eh well my point exactly.

[Treasa]

It's similar to parroting.

 

Ever notice how some sales guys nod their heads when they talk? It's been proven that subjects will agree more often when they do this than if they didn't do this at all. It has to be subtle enough to be recognized subconsciously without consciously drawing attention to it.

 

Exactly. When a guy CONSTANTLY uses my name in almost every sentence, for example, it annoys the crap out of me and feels so incredible insincere.

[Star Gazer]

Yes

 

--Good confident body language.

 

--Good confident tonality.

 

--The right blend of talking about himself and asking you questions about yourself so that you have a good conversation instead of getting stuck on small talk.

 

--Making a move when the time is right, not too soon and not too late. Knowing when to make the move.

 

--Actually planning the date out instead of winging it or asking "dud what do you want to doooo????".

 

ALL PUA tactics, or at least all the stuff from which PUA tactics are derived from. Wait, isn't that how men should act on first dates?? Eh well my point exactly.

 

Those aren't PUA tactics in my mind.

[Treasa]

Yes

 

--Good confident body language.

 

--Good confident tonality.

 

--The right blend of talking about himself and asking you questions about yourself so that you have a good conversation instead of getting stuck on small talk.

 

--Making a move when the time is right, not too soon and not too late. Knowing when to make the move.

 

 

Woohoo!! I'm a PUA, AND I have a vagina!!

 

See, this is just how I thought normal, charismatic people behaved by nature.

[TheGuard13]

PUA tactics are just common sense and actual ways that people interact socially, with any gender or type of person. They're just used with women in the PUA approach.

 

You can usually spot a PUA because he isn't genuine. Most of them simply aren't clever enough to actually come across as spontaneous. The little "pick one" or "what would you do?" games they play? That stuff is rehearsed, and it's not even that interesting. I'm still surprised that women fall for that kind of nonsense.

[Star Gazer]

Exactly. When a guy CONSTANTLY uses my name in almost every sentence, for example, it annoys the crap out of me and feels so incredible insincere.

 

I learned that one in a persuasion class in college. Since then, I've found the use of my name to be both pleasant and persuasive and really annoying.

[BradJacobs]

Exactly. When a guy CONSTANTLY uses my name in almost every sentence, for example, it annoys the crap out of me and feels so incredible insincere.

I don't do it in every sentence but when I first meet someone out in the world, I've taught myself to repeat their name at least three to five times during the conversation else I'll forget their name.

 

It's happened on more than one occasion.

 

That's not a PUA trick. It's someone whose trying to ensure they remember who you are.

[Star Gazer]

See, this is just how I thought normal, charismatic people behaved by nature.

 

Exactly. What he described is absolutely not PUA technique.

 

Ima, are you familiar with the PUA community and all their forums? You won't find that stuff on it.

[tbf]

"...see if you can impress me." (I don't know the name/term for this)

This might be an element of compliance where you make the girl jump through hoops (hoop theory), until you push her to her compliance threshold (how far you can push her to say how high, when you say jump).

 

Cocky/funny and ******* game, are two popular PUA techniques. Quite a number of nice guys use the latter because they were never nice guys to begin with so it comes naturally and it's an opportunity to extrovert the bitterness.

 

Another is the jealousy plotline, playing women off each other, to induce jealousy. This raises compliance thresholds since it's turned into a competition between women, where the man's the prize. I've seen this one used a ton on LS.

 

Mirroring, where they pretend to enjoy what you enjoy.

[Star Gazer]

PUA tactics are just common sense and actual ways that people interact socially, with any gender or type of person.

 

You're saying that negging and putting a girl in an insecure/prove-herself posture is common sense and the way most people interact socially?

 

Noooooo, I don't think so.

[Treasa]

I learned that one in a persuasion class in college. Since then, I've found the use of my name to be both pleasant and persuasive and really annoying.

 

I'm ok with, "Hey Traci, how are you doing?" And then stop using my name, for God's sake. I don't ever call people out on it, but it does make me shake my head a bit.

[Drseussgrrl]

Come to think of it, I had a guy use PUA on me in an OLD email.

 

"...but DSG, you still don't have me convinced. What else about you blah blah blah..."

 

I thought it was so tacky. What? Really?? DELETE.

 

Haha! Now I know!

[Star Gazer]

This might be an element of compliance where you make the girl jump through hoops (hoop theory), until you push her to her compliance threshold (how far you can push her to say how high, when you say jump).

 

Cocky/funny and ******* game, are two popular PUA techniques. Quite a number of nice guys use the latter because they were never nice guys to begin with so it comes naturally and it's an opportunity to extrovert the bitterness.

 

Another is the jealousy plotline, playing women off each other, to induce jealousy. This raises compliance thresholds since it's turned into a competition between women, where the man's the prize. I've seen this one used a ton on LS.

 

Mirroring, where they pretend to enjoy what you enjoy.

 

HOOP THEORY! Yes, now I remember.

 

I knew I should have asked you to begin with.

 

THESE are PUA techniques, and NOT the way your average, self-confident person engages others socially.

[BluEyeL]

I had one guy use PUA on me, I recognized the techniques. Mostly push-pull and negging. He was complimenting me and then soon after getting upset with me. His compliments were often sexual, i.e. "You have an amazing ass" and stuff of the sort, and soon after a series of compliments he was getting upset at something begning that I said "you are rude, who says that?". Pretending to get offended. "Whoa, you are really not into me!". "you are playing games". He was also very confident (I'm damn awesome) and forward. I had fun with him for a short time, and I was using my own game indeed as I had no intention to date him, I took it as fun, he was 10 yrs younger and looked like Channing Tatum.

[Treasa]

Come to think of it, I had a guy use PUA on me in an OLD email.

 

"...but DSG, you still don't have me convinced. What else about you blah blah blah..."

 

I thought it was so tacky. What? Really?? DELETE.

 

Haha! Now I know!

 

LOL I would have deleted it, or, if PMSing, I would have said, "Go convince yourself that your hand is going to be good enough for you for a while, because that's all you're going to get, moron."

[New User]

I can't help but think that the real secret of PUA is simply that it gives some guys the confidence to try. I'd also be willing to bet that the number of guys who are actually living the "lifestyle" is small enough to be irrelevant.

[Babolat]

Yes, this is the key. What tactics do they use to do this?

 

The one that comes to mind (need to dust off the book) is contact after meeting a woman, or after a date and to make yourself appear to be busy, even if you are not.

 

For example, if she texts you, don't reply immediately. I experimented with this with a few woman at the time and it worked like magic. Sometimes I would wait untilt the next day to reply to a text, or an email. While on match.com I would wait 24+ hours to reply to an email.

 

One girl I was seeing at the time would go away for weekends with her family and I would not contact her. She use to tell me how much she liked that as her previous men would text her all weekend. Or she would contact me and I would take a long time to reply, and then kept it simple like "Glad you are having a great time" without sharing anything about what I was doing. Another time, and this was by accident, i woke up at 3AM, saw a text from her from around 11PM, and sent a quick reply. When she got back home a few days later she asked me why I replied so late, like "where were you". I followed the book and said "I don't even remember replying".

 

While practicing this I did learn a bit about myself; that waiting to reply just makes simple sense sometimes and let the heightened emotion decrease first.

 

Some of the stuff was about how to dress, which I like to dress nice anyway so that was a no brainer.

[Star Gazer]

Come to think of it, I had a guy use PUA on me in an OLD email.

 

"...but DSG, you still don't have me convinced. What else about you blah blah blah..."

 

I thought it was so tacky. What? Really?? DELETE.

 

Haha! Now I know!

 

Yup!

 

A month or so ago, in private TBF analyzed for me the initial emails between myself and a guy I dated in January-March. They were LADEN with PUA techniques, things that made me furrow my brow but yet also sucked me in. One of those things was something like, "So, tell me a story... make me want to take you out" or something like that. It was kitchy and full of 's, so I figured he was just being playful. Wrong!

 

He turned out to be quite the PUA jerk. I learned a lot from that analysis!

[DannyMason]

....This actually WORKS?

 

I wouldn't know, I don't do pickup artistry. Pickup artist/author Style/Neil Strauss said it did in his book on the subject, though. He says that despite his success with it he found the practice distasteful and cheesy.

[Star Gazer]

The one that comes to mind (need to dust off the book) is contact after meeting a woman, or after a date and to make yourself appear to be busy, even if you are not.

 

For example, if she texts you, don't reply immediately. I experimented with this with a few woman at the time and it worked like magic. Sometimes I would wait untilt the next day to reply to a text, or an email. While on match.com I would wait 24+ hours to reply to an email.

 

I'm pretty sure I just experienced this. Had a date with a guy. Everything leading up to it was great; he expressed how much he wanted to see me again. In the couple days after the date, his communication changed remarkably. Slower to respond, no longer initiating.

 

Today, I received both a neg AND a hoop theory text. I'm not buying into his game, and he appears to be getting MAD!

 

[Anela]

Because as we all know, it's men who should be proving themselves to women, right?

 

Now you're talking!

 

No, I think it works best when you want to impress the other person, but nobody is demanding it. Or even better: you feel good just being yourself around this person.

 

I hate negging - trying to bring someone down, in order to make them like you? Working a person's self-esteem to your own benefit? Ugh.

[Treasa]

I do feel like PUA stuff is like a placebo or magic feather. It helps them try something. It's common sense stuff. Don't be a doormat. Don't get obsessed with some girl just because haha. Yes ask girls out. Be funny no fricken duh.

 

Yep, and live your life for YOU (general you) and have interests and try to have fun. That's what's attractive to most girls. Sincere self-esteem and pleasure in life go a long way. Insincere crap is easy to spot.

 

The thing I suck at is telling guys that they're making idiots of themselves (when I hear about male friends doing this), because I don't want to hurt their feelings.

[BluEyeL]

The one that comes to mind (need to dust off the book) is contact after meeting a woman, or after a date and to make yourself appear to be busy, even if you are not.

 

For example, if she texts you, don't reply immediately. I experimented with this with a few woman at the time and it worked like magic. Sometimes I would wait untilt the next day to reply to a text, or an email. While on match.com I would wait 24+ hours to reply to an email.

Yeah, I personally used the exact same thing, it's "The Rules", so really PUA is for both genders. I used no contact with the PUA guy too I wanted to see who is better at the game, him or me? He tried it with me, but he had to give in, waited 48 h and he gave in first (I wouldn't have contacted him ever anyway), I remember, after breaking contact (pretended to be offended by something very minor), he gave in and said "I still want some of that"

[BradJacobs]

If a man is approaching a woman he is interested in, he should be demonstrating why she should be interested in return.

You do understand this is exactly why PUA tactics have become popular don't you?

 

Seems that it's okay that a man need demonstrate his worth to the woman but the woman shouldn't need to demonstrate her worth to the man?

 

You're saying that negging and putting a girl in an insecure/prove-herself posture is common sense and the way most people interact socially?