Conroy Posted November 2, 2004 Share Posted November 2, 2004 I was going out with my girlfriend Rachel for 10 months. Every thing was great for the first 6 months then we started arguing all the time at the end of our relationship. She got very jealous, she thought there was some thing going on with myself and her best mate (Katie) because I would always go off and do my own thing with her mate (only because I spent to much time with my ex and needed some space). But there was never anything going on. So we argued about this all the time. Her so called best mate Katie was actually trying to split us up. Her best mate would get my girlfriend on her own and make up lies about me, like i didn't love her or care about her, and that i was a rubbish boyfriend. She even persuaded my ex to split up with me and get with this other guy who had been hitting onto my ex behind my back. The day before we split up, I got very drunk and argued on the phone with my ex. At this point I knew it was probably over. Her best mate Katie had turned up at the bar I was at and started telling me lies such as my ex was cheating on me. Then she decided to tell me that she really liked me, because I was really upset and drunk I kissed her! The next day I went round to my girlfriends house and she said it was over at this point we were both very upset. My ex told me that although she was ending it, she never felt the way she did about me with anyone else and that I was special. But straight after this I told her I had kissed her mate Katie (why I don't know), then she threw me out of her flat. The day after I managed to get hold of her and we made friends, she even sent me a text message at 2am in the morning to say she still thinks about me and still cares about me! Now the day after is where it all went horribly wrong. I went out and got really drunk with her mate Katie. Katie starts telling me lies such as my ex was cheating on me for at least a month before we split up, and stuff like this. So this starts to make me feel very upset and angry. So when I got home I sent a text message to my ex saying how i really liked katie and have done for ages to upset my ex girlfriend Rachel. Then I get a call from my ex at 3am in the morning. She is really drunk too and tells me she has decided to start going with this other guy that has been hitting onto her behind my back. Now we both think we have cheated on each other. After this night we started sending each other nasty text messages and phone calls for about a week. Then she decided to come round to my house to sort things out. Which was a very bad mistake because I was very drunk and we ended up arguing. I said a lot of things that I shouldn't of said and put her down. So after this we continued arguing all the time when ever we saw each other and by text messages. Several weeks after this she sent me a text saying she was upset that I was so sad, but I continued to be really nasty to her because I thought she had honestly cheated on me. I even threatened to hit this guy she was with (the one that was hitting onto her behind my back) and she went crazy over this. She even threatened to phone the police if I tried to hit him. We have been split up for 8 months now and have argued for 7 of these. It was until recently I have actually excepted the truth that she never cheated on me. Now when I try and contact her by phone, text, or even a letter she just ignores me which really hurts. When I see her out she will say hello and ask me how I am, but that is it no other conversation. The last time we talked about a month ago she said how we will never be friends again because too much water has passed under the bridge. The thing is I have been really nasty to her and hurt her alot. I guess I was a bad person before and now I have realised the error of my ways. But the thing is I really miss her. In fact I think about her all the time and I'm completely in-love with her still. I really want to be at least friends with her again but she doesn't seem interested at all, I'm really scared that we may lose contact and never see each other again. I have been thinking about trying to call her in a month or 2 and asking her to come to Paris with me. Which would be my treat as I would pay for every thing! Is this a good idea ? How can I get her to talk to me again ? How would I be able to win her back ? Please could somebody give me any ideas or tips on what to do because I'm so desprate to get her back or even be friends with her again. I know that people say I should move on but this is not an option for me because she was my true love. Link to post Share on other sites
tattoomytoe Posted November 2, 2004 Share Posted November 2, 2004 just leave her alone. absence makes the heart grow fonder, and this way you two will not have to argue and keep battling and building a higher wall. text her that you still would like to be friends, and you will not contact her anymore, unless she wants you to. leave it at that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Conroy Posted November 2, 2004 Author Share Posted November 2, 2004 I know I shouldn't contact her anymore because she is probably getting annoyed and thinks I'm hassling her. So I'm not going to contact her. What about trying to contact her after a long period of time ? I also know she is only with this guy because she is lonely and she doesn't love him. If I ask her to come to Paris after the New Year, then would this be a good idea ? Link to post Share on other sites
daphne Posted November 2, 2004 Share Posted November 2, 2004 Conroy, I'll be blunt. You are one immature boy. I'm guessing you can't be over the age of 20. I don't much care for your ex's girlfriend either but you were her man, the girlfriend is just a competitive saboteur. You should have known better. Even if you didn't, you should have talked to your ex about it (not fight) and get it straightened out. How in the world did you believe that girl's intentions were pure when she's trying to get you for herself? Grow up. Learn from this. Leave the girl alone. Maybe one day when you both grow a little (although I do believe you started it...) you'll learn how to have an adult relationship. peace out Link to post Share on other sites
whites7 Posted November 2, 2004 Share Posted November 2, 2004 Originally posted by daphne Conroy, I'll be blunt. You are one immature boy. peace out Ouch mate! I know you mean well but as a 39 year old man in hell because of lost love, hopes and dreams this kinda stuff hurts. I know what you are saying is meant with the best intensions but when people are hurtin real bad, logic goes out the window. Your opinion is valid and true....but please be sensitive to the poor fu**ers like me out there who hate to see the dawn of a new day Link to post Share on other sites
daphne Posted November 2, 2004 Share Posted November 2, 2004 Maybe you're right Whites. I guess I did sound pretty harsh. It's frustrating to see when someone makes a mistake, wants to make it right but doesn't go back and examine how they erred in the first place. True growth and change only come about when you take responsibility for your actions and learn how to communicate. And perhaps I am most annoyed because I see this as being a predominant behavior in males and this was the downfall (among many) of my relationship. sigh. Link to post Share on other sites
Slider22 Posted November 3, 2004 Share Posted November 3, 2004 Drinking and arguing don't mix dude. Lay off the sauce if you want to sort things out rationally with your girlfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Conroy Posted November 3, 2004 Author Share Posted November 3, 2004 Daphne - Your comments do not help what so ever. To set the record straight I'm 25 and she is 22!! Things like this don't happen because I'm immature, they have happened because I was upset and she was upset. I guess thats the way love is. If your going to have a dig at me then don't bother leaving a message because I don't need to hear this s**t ok! Link to post Share on other sites
daphne Posted November 3, 2004 Share Posted November 3, 2004 Originally posted by Conroy Things like this don't happen because I'm immature, they have happened because I was upset and she was upset. I guess thats the way love is. If your going to have a dig at me then don't bother leaving a message because I don't need to hear this s**t ok! Grasshopper, I can see you are one step closer to owning responsibility and figuring out how to do it right in your relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Conroy Posted November 10, 2004 Author Share Posted November 10, 2004 I now Know that my ex is more than likely about to break up with this guy she went off with months aga. My house mate said they keep on fighting all the time and he thinks its just a matter of days or weeks before they are over! Which pleases me alot as I can't stand this guy and think she would be better off with out him. i sent her the text the other day saying "I still wanted to be friends and wouldn't contact her again unless she wanted me too..." So I know its just a matter of playing the waiting game and not contacting her. The only thing is I know I'm very much in her bad books because of all this. So is there anything I can do to get into her good books again ? as I'm scared that if we never contact each other then I'll never here from her again and this thought makes me feel really sad. Link to post Share on other sites
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