Why would a FWB act like this?

[Starlene]

I've been seeing a guy since March. He has been through a lot, and I mean a lot. His wife left him for someone she met online. She also left him with their 8 year old daughter, which he is now a single father to. I know she is his number one priority, and he told me he couldn't have a relationship for that reason.

 

I was upset at first, but decided I could handle the relationship.

 

Well wouldn't you know, I fell in love. We spend hours chatting every night while we are apart. Every weekend we spend together, and it's more than sex. It's talking for hours, having fun, going out, etc. And when we talk, we talk about everything. Hopes, fears, secrets...everything.

 

Eventually I pressed him on why I couldn't be more than a FWB. He told me if he ever did get into a relationship again, it would be with someone random so it doesn't mess up what we have. He said I was too good of a friend to lose, but it was just casual between us.

 

This really hurt me, but I didn't say anything. I ended up going out with another guy to try and forget him, and ended up sleeping with him. I regretted it. I cut contact with the guy.

 

I told my FWB before and after I did this. He seemed fine with it, which reinforced how casual this all really was.

 

That was about a month ago.

 

Last week we hung out like usual and ended up having another "what is this relationship" talks. I told him the only thing missing for me really was that he was free to see other girls. I said it would hurt me to see him with another girl and that I'd be jealous.

 

He told me that the jealousy means I was emotionally attached. I admitted that and asked if it bothered him. He said no, but that he couldn't get emotionally attached. He agreed that he wouldn't have sex with any girls while we were together but said it should go both ways.

 

Basically, he was a lot more upset about the guy I hooked up with then I thought. I thought he didn't care at all. He told me he was mad when he found out about it because I fell for a guy's "stupid lines to get you in bed". And he was mad because he thought we had an understanding.

 

We didn't have an understanding. I had assumed he talked to other girls the whole time. He told me he didn't and hasn't slept with anyone besids me since March.

 

Also, he was hiding a lot of other jealousy. He referenced things I said before that he thought was about other guys. He told me it bothered him to see me flirt with guys on Facebook and he asked if I was seeing some guy the next town over because my GPS always said I was there on Facebook.

 

He told me he had considered me to his. "I thought you were mine".

 

We agreed not to sleep with other people.

 

I'm starting to think I should bail from the whole situation.

 

So, any thoughts why he would act like this?

 

Sorry this is so long, and thanks.

[michelangelo]

We agreed not to sleep with other people.

 

I'm starting to think I should bail from the whole situation.

 

So, any thoughts why he would act like this?

 

Sorry this is so long, and thanks.

 

THIS, in bold. Finish the thought. He's not really into you other than someone to manipulate.

[fujidabruin]

Yes I would concur. He may be showing some emotion with you now, but I would fear that it may be along with a lot of pain from his last relationship projected on to you.

 

Tread carefully Starlene. I was just in an FWB where I denied my emotional attachment and she was all confused about her inability to commit. Does not work when participants are not in sync.