lil turtle Posted December 30, 2000 Share Posted December 30, 2000 i am in a relationship with a guy for about one and a half years. i have a five year old son who adores him, but i don't. i met someone in october and we have been talking every day since then. i wnat to leave, but i don't want to hurt my son and my family. i really like this new guy, but he is black and i am white, and my family would really disapprove and so would my son's father. i don't know what to do. i don't feel like i can talk to any of my friends or family, what should i do? please help! Link to post Share on other sites
Quandary Posted December 30, 2000 Share Posted December 30, 2000 My parents stayed together because of me and I was miserable. They finally ended up divorcing when I was 15 that was the happiest day of my life! Your son will adapt to the situation. Who cares about the color of the skin. All races bleed red and that all that oyu have to remember. If you like him well then it's your happiness. IT's not your baby's dad's, your family's or anyone else for that matter. Follow your heart or you will end up miserable. Link to post Share on other sites
Stargazer Posted December 30, 2000 Share Posted December 30, 2000 You are going to have to hurt someone here if you no longer want to be with the father anymore, one way or the other. You are basically cheating on the father here, not nice! You can't leave and not hurt your family or son, you can't be with this man without your family's disapproval or your son's fathers disapproval. These are the facts here, you know them, you and only you can decide what you are willing to do or not do. No one on here can honestly say, well you SHOULD do this or you SHOULD do that. These are big decisions for you. Look into your heart and find out what you want, happiness for yourself or for everyone else? Link to post Share on other sites
odyne Posted December 30, 2000 Share Posted December 30, 2000 I agree that you should look into your heart for this and that no one else can decide but you, however, I don't think that happiness for yourself means unhappiness for everyone else. I think that if you are happy, then you can be a better mother and everyone else will eventually understand. There's no reason to stay with someone that makes you unhappy. That doesn't mean that you should be with the other guy either, maybe you just need some time alone to figure it all out? Think it all over and decide what will work best for you. I hope it turns out okay. Link to post Share on other sites
eve_wild Posted January 2, 2001 Share Posted January 2, 2001 First, don't bring men into the life of your child unless you plan on being friends or husband/wife. You need to limit the amount of time your child spends with people who may drop out of their life at a moment's notice. It's difficult for a child to handle people he/she loves going in and out of their life. I speak as a person who dealt with this issue as a child and an adult. My mom had one friend I really liked because he treated me like a little sister, but when they broke up I never saw him any more. As an adult, I became attached to the children of a man, but when we broke up I never got to see the children again. Second, let's face reality. Even in the 21st century racism and prejudice exist. When you consider dating someone out of your race, culture, etc., you must consider if you can handle the negative responses you will receive. These responses will come, not just from your family, but also friends, co-workers,even perfect strangers. And these responses may also be directed toward your child. I'm not trying to dissuade you, I just want you to consider all the ramifications. Life can be cruel. Link to post Share on other sites
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