Do I reply?

[starlet86]

So last night I received a message from AP. He wants to know why I am being so cold and distant with him as he thought we were still friends and I understood why we couldn't continue seeing each other AT THIS MOMENT IN TIME (sorry, I am waiting for no man, BTDT.)

 

I haven't replied yet. I don't know if I should. The thing is, I am not hurt or bothered by the fact he is going to try and make things work with the BS. I am more annoyed that he lied to me, led me to believe he had feelings for me (I never reciprocated in these chats and he's always known I am physically attracted to him and I don't harbour romantic feelings. Although it may have went that way.) and then just kind of dropped a bomb shell on me that in actual fact he DID still think there was a chance he could repair his relationship and wanted to try.

 

Let me get this 100% clear. If I for one second thought that there was a slight chance that after 10 months he was going to tell BS that he would like to try and work at their relationship and invite her back in to their bed, I would NEVER, EVER have done anything with him. I know some may not believe that, but I just wouldn't. Everyone was talking about how it would be better for their kid if they just split up because they didn't even sit in a room together!

 

I don't know if I should just explain that to him. Would there be any point? Fair enough it's over, but surely he should know that I am not some wh**e who just sleeps with a guy and when they drop me I skip on to the next one. I am actually really p*ssed that he seems to think that any of this is ok and I should just be cool with it as well.

 

Also BS knows. I bumped in to her in the supermarket and she quite cheerfully said "hey, look we don't talk about it, you don't talk about it and he doesn't need to know I know about it. Cool" and walked away... I'm just not sure she knows EXACTLY who has been sleeping in her bed, but hey she doesn't want to either.

[fanine]

So last night I received a message from AP. He wants to know why I am being so cold and distant with him as he thought we were still friends and I understood why we couldn't continue seeing each other AT THIS MOMENT IN TIME (sorry, I am waiting for no man, BTDT.)

 

I haven't replied yet. I don't know if I should. The thing is, I am not hurt or bothered by the fact he is going to try and make things work with the BS. I am more annoyed that he lied to me, led me to believe he had feelings for me (I never reciprocated in these chats and he's always known I am physically attracted to him and I don't harbour romantic feelings. Although it may have went that way.) and then just kind of dropped a bomb shell on me that in actual fact he DID still think there was a chance he could repair his relationship and wanted to try.

 

Let me get this 100% clear. If I for one second thought that there was a slight chance that after 10 months he was going to tell BS that he would like to try and work at their relationship and invite her back in to their bed, I would NEVER, EVER have done anything with him. I know some may not believe that, but I just wouldn't. Everyone was talking about how it would be better for their kid if they just split up because they didn't even sit in a room together!

 

I don't know if I should just explain that to him. Would there be any point? Fair enough it's over, but surely he should know that I am not some wh**e who just sleeps with a guy and when they drop me I skip on to the next one. I am actually really p*ssed that he seems to think that any of this is ok and I should just be cool with it as well.

 

Also BS knows. I bumped in to her in the supermarket and she quite cheerfully said "hey, look we don't talk about it, you don't talk about it and he doesn't need to know I know about it. Cool" and walked away... I'm just not sure she knows EXACTLY who has been sleeping in her bed, but hey she doesn't want to either.

 

I find with these guys if we try and explain ourselves it simply falls on deaf ears. Mine never took any notice of the emails, text messages etc I sent him. I'm certain he never read the words beyond the first line.

 

If it was me I would just not reply as it could then start off a stream of text messages between you that could end up with you feeling more frustrated. That is what used to happen to me....

 

In the end you are unlikely to be friends after all of this I would have thought - so there doesnt seem like there is much point to re-engage again...

[starlet86]

Yeah that is what I am thinking. I mean, he is asking why I am being cold and distant and not speaking to him. Surely he should be able to work that one out, right? He isn't a complete idiot. At least I didn't think he was.

 

It is just terribly frustrating that he can't seem to see that what we both done was wrong, however what he done was a hell of a lot worse.

[starlet86]

He definitely doesn't know she knows and I believe it was a pretty clear warning from her to me, to stay the hell back. I don't feel I owe him anything by telling him of our little chat, he's made it clear that he wants to work on his relationship therefore I am not getting involved now. I am free from the situation. It was my first time being the OW and to be honest the "fling" probably helped me to overcome the pain I was feeling from my own break up in which I was cheated on and left for someone else. I know it is a horrible thing to say but if she's fine with his infidelity then it is on her head. I am just glad it isn't me.