Why is not wanting to be in the friendzone equated to not wanting female friends.....

[hotpotato]

OP Is right women are praised for not settling for being a Bootycall but men are demonized for not settling for being a friend

 

If a man isnt fine with being just a friend, I support him going elsewhere 100% .

[Kate9292]

But why would a guy want to be friends with a woman, especially if he is attracted to her?

 

Really?

 

Because they like each other's company.

Because they help and support each other.

Because they share common interest.

Because they have same outlook on some things.

...

 

There is million of reasons to be friends with someone opposite sex. Why should I stay away from guys I'm not sexually attracted to but some of what I said above is true?

[Woggle]

I have female friends but they are people I have known through the years who have earned my trust enough that I think of them as family which is how I see my true friends. A woman that turned me down for a date but for some reason still wants to keep me around is not somebody I want as a friend. I would rather politely ask me to leave them alone in general which happened and then I move on.

[GoodOnPaper]

I've never seen a guy 'friend' as a eunuch. Unattractive? Yes. Eunuch? No. This would be impossible since they would come onto me very sexually, and being asexual or less sexual is part of being a eunuch.

 

Wikipedia:

A eunuch (/ˈjuːnək/; Greek: Ευνούχος) is a man who (by the common definition of the term) may have been castrated, typically early enough in his life for this change to have major hormonal consequences. Less commonly, in translations of ancient texts, "eunuch" may refer to a man who is not castrated but who is impotent, celibate, or otherwise not inclined to marry and procreate. Most eunuchs who are castrated before puberty are asexual.

 

I meant figuratively, of course. What I meant was that a LBJF offer comes across as "I want to really get to know you but I can't imagine how any woman in her right mind would want to have anything to do with you, sexually." Highly offensive.

[Woggle]

Being in the friendzone is not real friendship so it is easy to see why some guys don't want it. When the chips are down they won't be there for me like my real friends are so would desire something like this?

[RedRobin]

I've never said I want to be friends with someone as a rejection.

 

I HAVE said I need to get to know them better, and that I prefer to be friends first. If they take that to equal rejection or as the 'friendzone' then that's too bad.

 

Not every woman jumps into the sack with guys right away... even the ones she likes. These days, that's all women can do if they want to avoid getting pressured ASAP for sex by guys they hardly know while they are trying to get to know them.

[joystickd]

I've never said I want to be friends with someone as a rejection.

 

I HAVE said I need to get to know them better, and that I prefer to be friends first. If they take that to equal rejection or as the 'friendzone' then that's too bad.

 

Not every woman jumps into the sack with guys right away... even the ones she likes. These days, that's all women can do if they want to avoid getting pressured ASAP for sex by guys they hardly know while they are trying to get to know them.

Get it right not all men are looking for sex. If you can't see that then YOU have PROBLEMS. Is it right to have romantic feelings for a woman only to have to settle for a one sided friendship?

[joystickd]

The whole talk of "Friendzone" is dehumanizing. It's like implying women are only good for sex and household chores, and no way you could be friends with one.

 

If you have female friends already, what's the problem with having another one? Being social is not a setback.

Is it dehumanizing since you are a woman to be a booty call? In a sense it's the same principle only difference is what the person is using you for. No man has problems with genuine friendships with women but having to settle for friendship is not a true friendship.

[hotpotato]

Really?

 

Because they like each other's company.

Because they help and support each other.

Because they share common interest.

Because they have same outlook on some things.

...

 

There is million of reasons to be friends with someone opposite sex. Why should I stay away from guys I'm not sexually attracted to but some of what I said above is true?

All those things you listed, he can just get from another man.

But there are *some things* that a man can't provide to a straight man. That's where the female 'friends' come in.

If he's waiting for the opportunity to sex you, he's not your friend, sorry.

[hotpotato]

I meant figuratively, of course. What I meant was that a LBJF offer comes across as "I want to really get to know you but I can't imagine how any woman in her right mind would want to have anything to do with you, sexually." Highly offensive.

 

Are you sure that is what they mean?

I've never thought that about any male 'friend.' I wasn't into them personally, but I didn't think no woman would be.

[Kate9292]

All those things you listed, he can just get from another man.

 

So what, am I supposed to discard any relation with a guy just because I'm not attracted to him?

 

Is it dehumanizing since you are a woman to be a booty call? In a sense it's the same principle only difference is what the person is using you for. No man has problems with genuine friendships with women but having to settle for friendship is not a true friendship.

 

Not if a woman herself decides she wants to be a booty call. Maybe not often, but it happens.

 

You don't settle for friendship. You are either friends or you are not. If you resent someone because you wanted to have sex with them and have to live with "crappy consolation prize" that is friendship, you aren't and never were friends.

[joystickd]

So what, am I supposed to discard any relation with a guy just because I'm not attracted to him?

 

 

 

Not if a woman herself decides she wants to be a booty call. Maybe not often, but it happens.

 

You don't settle for friendship. You are either friends or you are not. If you resent someone because you wanted to have sex with them and have to live with "crappy consolation prize" that is friendship, you aren't and never were friends.

How would you feel if you wanted a relationship with a guy and he said I just want you for a booty call? Would you settle for a booty call if you wanted more? It's the same principle here. It's how most guys feel. No one when wanting more would just settle for the consolation prize.

[hotpotato]

So what, am I supposed to discard any relation with a guy just because I'm not attracted to him?

 

 

 

 

IMO, if hes attracted to you but it's not mutual, it's best to end it.

[Gotovuwka]

Круто.

[joystickd]

What man wants to be this? http://accordingtojewels.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/friend-zone-job-1_thumb.png

[HomanWater]

Yeah, that's pretty silly.

 

I'm plenty open to having female friends but I can decide what sort of relation with specific woman I want in my life. I can want woman A as friend and woman B as lover. If woman B rejects me as lover and offers "friendship" as "consolation prize", I am allowed to reject that offer. Yet assumption that I don't want female friends at all because I rejected woman B's offer is clearly false due to desired friendship with woman A.

[joystickd]

No man or woman wants to be the consolation prize

[joystickd]

The whole talk of "Friendzone" is dehumanizing. It's like implying women are only good for sex and household chores, and no way you could be friends with one.

 

If you have female friends already, what's the problem with having another one? Being social is not a setback.

Their is a big difference on genuine friendship and being told let's be friends. I have female friends. I have broken my lesbian only rule and those friendships have become more like they are my sisters. It would be weird as hell to think of them in a romantic way. That is the thing a lot of people don't get. It's seems most people like settling for things. I'm for genuine friendships you meet someone and it becomes a friendship not you meet someone want something romantic then have to settle for friendship. The latter become a grey area for manipulation.

[joystickd]

So what, am I supposed to discard any relation with a guy just because I'm not attracted to him?

No one is saying that. No one is knocking genuine friendship. don't overdramatize this

[Grumpybutfun]

I have female friends and none of them came from her being rejected by me for gf or for them rejecting me for bf in the past. They all developed from organic interests. One I have had since childhood and she and I were neighbors so were friends since we were five, and the other was one I met in the Navy before I was married who could play pool and drink better than any man there. She is married now to one of my childhood best friends because I hooked them up. These women are awesome as people but we never had romantic or sexual interest for each other. Hey, it happens. I am not attracted to every woman who is pretty or alive. Fortunately, my wife fell in love with them so they became family friends too which is cool. My kids love them.

I don't think you can actually be friends with people who like you in a sexual or romantic way because the reason for the friendship is based on rejection. Seems very cruel to give someone a consolation prize that you don't really mean, but are using to diffuse the pains of rejection.

IMHO,

Grumps