How Long For Nc Until The Ex Knows They Have Messed Up!

[kodiak]

Hey Everybody-

 

I hope you all had a good thanksgiving and stuff. i was working so it kinda sucked and i was by myself so i missed my ex, ofcourse!! Oh well. Anyways today was my ex's b-day. I took the advice from some and never sent a card but i sent her a simple text message saying. Happy B-day. I thought she would think it was nice that i remember and thought of her, but i guess not. I thought she might have simply replied thanks or somthin, but i got nothing. This kinda hurt but i guess when you move on ( im pretty sure she has, you forget about the past pretty quick). What do you do, you know? Anyways i will post more tomorrow and try to catch up with everyone, take care...............Kodiak

[djones]

Hey guys,

 

I have to fill you in to what happend to me yesterday, I was too upset to post yesterday so he is what happend....

My Ex msned me yesterday "sorry of being so distant with you for last few days, when you called last time my BF was near me and this caused a problem betwen me and him".....I said so now he is your BF not just a guy you are seeing ...."it appeares that its what it isnow, and you have to respect that and If you want to be my firend you cant tell me that you miss me or ask if I am seeing him"......I said well thats now what you are telling me its my choice if I want to be your firend, It think you should make that choice (WTF why should I make that choice, just b/c he us upest that she talks to me, he is that insecure or does not trust her"......I told her that I love her and she was silent,.....I asked her do you love me.....she was silent and then said I am with him.....thats not what I asked you ...how do you feel about me?....she was silent (I guess her silece in my mind means that she loves me).......I was getting mad and upset at this time......I told her that I love you and what hppened to last time we meet when you put your head on my arms and when we talk like we are a couple .....again she had no reply.......what about when we talk and we talk about gettting married and having kids....again no reply......basily it went on like this for a few more minutest and then she just said that I am getting more upset and I better stop or I may regret what I say

I told her that atleast I am sarying how i feel, what are you doing....she said that I am with him now and things are goood

well she may think things are good but this guy is so insceure that she was tlaking to me that she had to avoid talking to me just b/c of me calling...well good lcuk to you too!! I was so pissed that teh time I just said have nice life and she was I can hear crying at this time.....so we hung up and that was that......after that I felt angry and sad about what had happed.....I just snet a e-mail, not to in the hopes of geting her back but I did not want leave it as that....so I said Hey, I am sorry for I said, I love you and I cant change how I feel about you, and I cant change how you feel, so you take care of yourself and if you want to later talk sometime, I am here....take care....

I sent off b/c I felt bad that I made her cry.....so Its over between me and her I am not going to contact her at all,...she wants to be with this *****en guy thats so insecure about her talking to guys well marry *****en christmas to you two !!! b/c I am not going to be waiting around, for you I am moving on and you had a *****inen good thing maybe later you will realize that and if you call one day I may just be taken by a girl that can see that, b/c I know I am a real good person and I deserve a woman that can see that!!!!

So guys thats what happend I feel also like the bigger man for saying sorry, b/c you know what I also dont want to make that @$$ hole guy look any better in her eyes compiared to me b/c he is nothing compaired to me!!!! if she thinks hes the **** welll you are so *****en blind!!!!

I think all our ex's are so phuken blind they had th best thing in thier lives and phukced it up for what??? a s*** person that they are now with and are unhappy, and you know what guys as wantans4 would say "***** EM" thats their misseiy now not ours!!!

[djones]

I wanted to contiune to post so I that i did not lose my big post, thanks guys for helping me out for the last couple of days ....i needed that, oh what burned me up was her pushing the idea "that if you want to be my firend still its up to me" a nice *****en way out so that I make the decision and she odes not have to feel guilty or that b/c she did it b/c her BF told her to do it (ie the argument they had).....so I think the letter makes it go back to her, and I get some control back in the situation....what do you all think?.......I just dont want to let her think she got the better part of me....

 

And also I guess I have to day God did answer my prayers (thanks to MJ!!!) b/c the night before I had prayed to god to say help reslove this problem so that I know where I stand wiht her ie are meant to be together or not...so i guess god answered by getting her to talk to me and now I am move on with my life and not think anymore of "why or what if" I did everything phuken possible and there is now more I can do, its upto her and she made her decision to be with and a**h*** guy so be it.....

I now feel a lot better and I feel more willing to try the new girl out she was so patient with me during this time and I can that she is a real nice person, I am going to take it slow and get to know her and see where it goes, i dont know if she is the "one" maybe not or maybe then next girl I meet we shall see.....I dont know now if that saying me and kodiak started "if its meant to be it will be" is a message of hope to get back with an ex or just a statement for one to belive while wiating for TIME (remember we hate that word guys me and mj hated that word ) will help one get through this.....I think for me it was the second one....

 

Sorry for not replying too some of your posts guys in the last while also, I have to read up and see whats going on for the rest of you, this thing consumend my mind and I was not clear at all, now I am feeling better I will post some more for you all.....I still need you guys this place has helped me and I now that I am going to really try the dating waters again with a free mind, I could use your help on seeing my way through this , I dont want to go through this alone, I think we all need to bounce our ideas and feelings wiht one another.....I know MJ is in the same boat as me and the rest of you guys are coming on line to the same point, I want us all to be happy and lets hope we all find that very, very soon,,, we need some good news here guys....

[Sukotto]

My ex must have psychic powers or maybe she's realised that after a week of us not speaking that I'm not really that bothered. I haven't had a reason to talk to her. But this morning she sent me a message asking how I was, told me she got her coursework done and then finished with hope I was well.

 

Now I think i'll wait a few hours before getting back to her, just out of politeness of course not because I desperately need to talk to her. I'm thinking that I'll probably screw up tomorrow by being so nervous, not had a first date with someone that i'd only met briefly in like 4 years

[Jip]

Hate that - my ex always ends his messages 'Hope alls well'!?! The cheek!

 

Yeah quite right don't reply too quickly but you really do sound as if you've gotten over this girl to some degree - its great you're getting nervous about your date - thats the way it should be!!

 

Thanks UR01 - Plenty more Scottish slang where that came from (eh Sukotto)! How about 'eejit' or 'numpty' (meaning foolish person, idiot because thats what our ex's are!!!)... Quality!

 

Big aceSteve - Yeah nice to se Uk folk on here too - Oneo f my old uni mates lives down in Stoke - reminds me must give him a call!

 

MJ108 - so good to hear from you ! Yeah think getting stuff off my chest is a good idea but the longer we delay it the worse its going to get I think - rather get it over and done with!

You let him stew for a change -glad that seems to have helped you hopefully it will work for me!

 

Oh come for a visit to Scotland - must admit if you live somewhere all your life you don't appreciate its beauty but it always seems to be popular with tourists! Should come during our 'Summer' though ever so slightly warmer than now. Its funny I walk past Edinburgh Castle on my way to work every day but usually don't notice it but now that the Xmas lights are up it really is a sight to behold.

 

He he - might take up 'kickboxing' - cos that's bound to hurt!

 

DR Jones - Hate to say it but in my case silence meant ( I think) that he just didn't want to say how he really felt - that he did fancy her and he didn't love me anymore - v good way of either not coming off as the bad guy or trying not to hurt us - I'm not sure which! My ex was saying how difficult it will be to find that click with someone else - yet he is seeing someone ( The guy who doesn't just see someone just to pass time!) and ain't trying to get me back -wtf!

 

However, seems like this encounter with your ex was what you needed to accept the situation a bit more and start thinking ahead - good for you! You are right you can only ever get through this with support and chatting to like minded souls really helps. Good luck out there in the dating waters and try not to look back!!

[Charlane]

DrJones, telling her you love her was a bit of a desperate act. You have to be stronger than that. In her eyes, how could you love someone that treats you as badly as she does? She needs to prove love to you, not vise versa so she should earn it. She hasn't so she doesn't deserve you telling her that you love her. She should be telling you that and if she is not then she is making the mistake here.

[djones]

Charlane,

 

you are right but I am a straight forward person i tell you the way it is, I know that in her silence that she does love me ( at least that the way i feel was the case) but I like everything else you have to see it to believe it, i dont know if i will ever hear from her again and if that does happen you are right she will have to prove that love, but I am not holdingmy breath...well I will move on now and try this new girl out, i will take it slow ans we will see, I am still a little hurt rigth now, but like everything else, time heals, i know that now....

[Sukotto]

Yeah go find a new girl!

 

I just spoke to this one i'm seeing tomorrow for almost an hour and a half and it was about nothing interesting just about ourselves and stuff. It was so easy, no awkward silences or anything. It was just a phone call to check that we were still good for tomorrow.

 

I dont think confessing your love to someone is ever a way to get them back, you need only say it once and they should know how you feel on the situation, if need be you can remind them by small actions. I think that confessing your love over and over could make them feel guilty and if they get back with you through guilt then how long is that going to last? Its the same if you beg, you might get them back because they feel pity for you and again that will just end in sadness sometime in the future.

 

Your better than that, look at your past posts you were getting better before you started back contact, my ex tried to get me on MSN about an hour ago, she's still online but I'll reply when I'm ready. At the moment I'm too excited by this other girl to consider talking to her, I'd love to say "I'm going on a date tomorrow with this great girl" just for the chance to hurt her, but what would that accomplish? If she starts talking to me then some feelings might come back and I could ruin any chances with this new girl.

[djones]

Hey guys,

 

Thanks for the input, I am feeling better now, I was talking to MJ and we came up with a question that we wanted to see what you guys think.....does God give you your soul mate when you marry? Some of us here thought that our exes were our soulmates and now they are not with us, we all had this feeling that was inside of us that we thgouth was a correct feeling that yes they are our soulmates, but that was not the case for us. So say the person you marry is ms or mr right is that your soul mate? this thinking is just based on the idea that marriage is the union of two people that wer emade for each other....I dont know if I am gettting my point across, I know this is just a TV show but I kind of gets my idea across....you know the TV show Dawsons creek, Dawson and joey were what we and eveyone else would consider to be soul mates a perfect match, well I know it was just a TV show but they ended up not being together even though they were soul mates in their eyes, so lets just say this was a true story, was this an act of "god" to say hey this girl is not your soulmate....you know if look at then you say yes they are a match and everyone would would swear yes that is his soulmate...but what ends up in happeing is that god intervenes and they dont end up with eash other...so where they soulmates? I guess what I am trying to get at is that we may not have that feeling what we think is our soulmate its just based on God's will.....I know its a little confusing and deep guys but MJ and I were just tossing the idea around...what do you guys think?

[Charlane]

DrJones, I've thought about that. The only answer I can come up with is that we have more than one soulmate. It's just that it wasn't time for that particular soulmate at that particular time. Some people do get back together and some don't. Of those that don't I'm thinking that it does happen in another lifetime. Just my thought.

 

You know, I have to say something here. The economy is getting ready to change drastically. It's in uncertain times that people want to be in familiar territory. Unemployment is going to jump up here within the next 6 months. I'm positive that we will see a rash of people that have been separated, divorced, whatever for 1 or 2 or 12 months or even 5 or 10 or 20 years get back together. I've just seen this with my cousin who is reunited with her ex-husband from 22 years ago and her grooming business in Kentucky is going bust. She's happier now it looks like. It's the strangest thing. We are all glad for her. He had cheated on her and then had a dismal life after they divorced. This seems to be where greener pastures takes people sometimes, more often than not.

 

How about we think of this prediction 6 months from now and come back here to discuss it? Maybe some of us will have the kind of good news that we can each grow from....and learn more about us. If we are not back with our exs, then where are they at in their lives and are we better off for it? Did they do us a favor?

 

Just another thought.

[mj108]

Charlane---yeah---that's another good question...did they do us a favor? Wow--you and drjones have been coming up with some good questions to think on. Just like I told drjones today----my bestfriend knows who her soulmate is. She went out with him 7 years ago. Well, they split up & he's married with 3 kids now. She is with a guy & very much in love with him. They look great together & you can see all the love that surrounds them when you're around them. She's been with this guy for almost 5 years. She has told me over & over that I need to get a grip. lol I mean, she tells me that she will not be with her soulmate---she knows this---& she told me not every person ends up with their soulmate. She's happy & I guess that is what gives me hope....on finding someone out there, you know?

 

drjones---Glad you got everything off your chest with the ex. I did last week with mine & now I feel like I can breathe again.

 

crazydawg---You rack those numbers up! Nice to hear you're out there & getting some numbers. I need to get out of the house so I can get a few.

Actually, the buddy I'm hanging out with---I use to date 10 years ago (God, I'm old...lol). Him and I just dated 3 months & then gave it up because we we're better off as friends than BF & GF, you know? Anyway, he's hurting & I'm hurting so we're just hanging out chillin & ranting about our exes. ha

 

LexiB---How have you been girl? Hope you're doing good!

 

Kodiak--Nice to hear from you my drinking partner.

 

Sukotto---It's hard getting back into the dating scene. I know. Heck, I'm scared. lol Sooner or later I know I'll have to get back out there. Good luck on your date.

 

Jip---Yeah--my ex is a "NUMPTY!!" I like that. lol

Hmm....I may just have to take my summer vacation to Scotland.

 

H/H---God I wish I could see a picture of this dude--chester. lol If you saw psycho wacko you'd run!

You are right---we aren't our exes mamas! They have to grow up eventually & when they do they'll wake up & see what they lost!

UPDATE: I did hear from Nick14 today. I e-mailed him yesterday to check up on him & he e-mailed me back. He says he's been soooo busy at work getting all the end of the year things done. He's doing great & I will give him your message...I'm going to e-mail him back tonight or in the morning. His X hasn't contacted him....which I think is good because he's a good person like all of us here...he deserves better.

PS---What kick butt Bible did you get?

[head/heels]

DR J

 

dont sweat what you did....my ex did the same silence thing too last time i talked to her about 1 week or 2 weeks ago...then she told me that i should not call her again and then i told her ok and not to call me ever again...and it was the best thing for me since i have to move on and this way i am sure i wont be calling her and she will know that i have moved on and she (having moved on already- too soon i might add) will have to spend the next few months knowing that i used to love her but not anymore...and that i am moving on.....i told her early on that i probably wouldnt be able to be serious with anyone until December (about 4 or 5 months...so hopefully she remembers this and realizes she has lost the best thing that ever happened to her)... i hope so and all i can say is that our exs made their beds and now it is time to lie in them....We should not and will not call them or feel sorry for them bc they had us to help them the whole time with their problems and they did not come to us for help.....onwards and upward my dear mates and lasses........

 

Dont look back, the past will never be the present or the future so dont make it so.....

 

 

dont call her or write her again....the ball is in her court and dont believe that she is going to call or write anytime. Chances are she wont and if she does it probably be for the wrong reason... (i.e. it didnt work out with me and @sshole so here i am, or i feel bad what i did, please take me back, or i feel so bad about myself and the other guy turned out to be a jerk and/or he dumped me...you always thought i was pretty- please nurse me back to health so i can go out and find me another man.._ ) i can never trust my ex for this reason.!

 

So i am getting buff, getting a new car sometime soon.....and working on myself and my faults as i see them and taking as much time to help and compliment others as it makes them feel great and it makes me feel like the great person i once was...I am also going to be the best damn Plastic Surgeon in the area after i complete medical school and once i get to have my own patients i will make them feel so great about themselves that they will up and leave their husbands and wives!!!!!Oppps! that was just to check to see if you all were reading closely and to see if i could make you smile...i am just kidding. i will have to have a must see seminar about how the new surgery could affect your relationship (a kind of protective course!) anyhow i am going to be successful and i am going to be able to whisk my wife away to wherever she so desires on the weekends and i am going to love her with my everything and i will find the one who i cant get enough of and she will be the same and if not... i wont accept anything less and i might just use WEIRDs idea of scheduling a trust/loyalty/spaz?or drama queen test!!!!

around month 6 or so i think....

 

C'est la vie .........now go out and Carpe Diem!

 

love you all and am praying for you all the time.....God will answer my prayers...i have put him #1

 

he is like my little imaginative friend who i talk to to get me through the rough spots of the day (i.e. hearing Nelly's over and over again, or my place//// or ALavignes happy ending or one that i cant stand to hear is Kelly Clarksons "breakaway" since i feel that my ex sings that when she is confused and it makes her stronger!arg!

 

 

night all!

[head/heels]

I can get you a picture of him but the means to get this picture is something that i have vowed not to do anymore...if you think hard enough you might know what i mean (and no not B&E)....

 

but she is in the picture too and the thought of her on the internet with this guy would embarass her sometime when the future comes and i cant do that too her....plus just seeing the pic hurts me to the bones since she is so damn gorgeous that it makes me about convulse with tears....god i wish she was ugly as sin.....

 

i know that i can find hotter girls as i have been talking with girls that are very goood looking but i just dont see them as being that great loooking compared to my ex...

 

i know if i think a woman is very great looking or someone i want to pursue when i get a little nervous when i attempt to ask them out...since i am outgoing and never get shaken up or embarrased to get shot down, i can ask a girl out or just about anything ...but the ones that i have to really muster up some courage are the ones that usually i find most intriguing..

i guess that is the way with everybody....

 

like the other night i saw this girl that i have seen at the local grocery *she works there and i assume is in college) well she is daunting and stiffling so i always go through her lane and make small talk...so i see her out at a restaurant and my mates and i are at the bar area and i decide i am going to go talk to her and her friend...well i put it off until 1 more drink (courage in a bottle----well it was a margarita as we were at a mexican restaurant)....well i go to talk to her and she has gone...so i went outside and i see her and her friend walking to their car and she is dancing and shaking (i guess just for the hell of it) and i just watched her go...I normally would have ran out there and asked her for her digits *even when i am not drinking* but that night i just froze and watched her and she looked back and saw me watching and she and her friend just started laughing and hopped in the car (since she was oblivious to anyone seeing her dance....it embarrased her and i am sure that she couldnt really see me well anyway (dark))....so tongith i am going to see if she is working and if she is i am going to ask one of the other workers if she has a bf and if she doesnt i am going to buy food for a special dinner (i love to cook extravagent meals for my woman-too bad she didnt deserve it in the end but i learned to make a mean steak, shrimp, grilled fish, veggies sides and desserts...)now i can use this skill to wow this girl! i hope she is nt attached!

 

so i am going to get some tilapia or mahi-mahi and some sides like aspargus or broccoli and then i am going to ask her if i can cook this for her tomorrow night..

 

wish me well....

i will be pissing myself if she shoots me down...i will hopefully be able to get her # with this kamikaze attempt..hope so anyway! BONZAI!!!

 

tell nick i am praying for him and hope some hottie blows him away (literally

Bible -i dont know the name of it i keep forgetting!

tomorrow though MJ

night girl

[Nick14]

hehe..so I hear everyone been wondering about me lately eh? Well, I been busy as foOk with work and orders for the end of the year season. Yes, the ex has not contacted me at all(of course not since the break up in beg of september) and that i hear from my friend, that I guess she is on match.com and whatever, he doesn't know when she signed up for it. I told him in a half jokingly way, "whats her name again" sorry i was trying to be a Wanton,haha. Realistically, its over and she won't call or even text me at all. Its been a month and a half of NC and the feelings are realistically out the window already. I know, thats kinda in a mean way to say things, but then again, hell she's the one who threw the best thing out of the window to a)be single b)go on a dating service and c) be a complete idiot that any girl would tell her how stupid she is. Bottom line, I don't think of her anymore, maybe out of the blue but thats it really.

 

On the bright side, I did meet a girl off Myspace.com and she's 20, same intrests and lots of things in common and she's a smartass for sure. We have been seeing each other for 3 weeks and stayed over my house twice. No, we have not had sex, thats going to wait awhile but the make out sessions have been nice for once. i am taking things slow with it and going from there. Were not g/f-b/f but it sure does feel like it in a way. But we will see. If my ex came back and i was with this girl, man would things get pretty wierd fast but I probably slam the door in my ex's face and say "well 3 months your gone. No communications, no attempting to talk to me or no replys and you want to come back. Let me think about it....NO!". So, ya, she wants to play games...thats ok I'll be the last man standing and she can be the one licking her damn wounds and regretting things! Hope everyone else is doing good. I'll post more as I can later.

[djones]

Hey Guys,

 

first HandH---Man that is a smooooth move idea about meeting and asking out the girl at the store by buying the fixings to make her dinner for tommorow....I hope it works out for you!!! Thanks for the out look you are right just move forward and not look back.....I am doing that now...

 

Actually I got off the phone with the new girl we end up talking for 2 hours, I dont know what we talked about, but it was really fun....we are going out this sat, basically a dinner and a movie....she is taking a CPR class all day sat so she said she will be tired...so I figured a movie would be a good idea...hey any of you guys have have a movie suggestion for us to see? I was thinking of Alexander any one seen it?

 

Charlane--thats a very good question, I guess only time will tell

[crazydawg]

alexander is very long- 3 hrs. I'm not sure what's in store for this weekend but i always take girls to comedy's well most of the times. That way you can tell if she has any sense of humor =)

[atlous]

GO SEE TAXI

 

I laughed so hard people I think told me to shut up! I laughed so flippin hard I cried. It put me in a great mood and I really enjoyed it, it was therapeutic somehow!

Atlous

[crazydawg]

oh btw how you been

 

Kodiak, I would have told you not to send her a goddamn thing, after the nonsense i got after calling her, for her birthday, she treated me like poo poo, funny right. Kodiak aren't you feeling any better though, i mean, i remember how i was the first month, i was a mess now slowly it sunk in and i'm starting to get happy agian. I hope your feeling better, you should be, don't let that text bring you down, it's only going to make her realize how much you cared.. One day she'll realize it.

[kodiak]

Hey Everybody-

 

Well first some reason i felt really low tonight, i dont know why. Maybe because I was a idiot and sent her a text wishing her a happy b-day and she didnt say anything. I was just trying to be nice, thats all. It sucked i worked Thanksgiving and it was kinda lonely, you know? Anyways i got a text from my last last ex the one that ended terrible. A bad break-up, you know those type,lol... Anyways she of all people sent me a text wishing me a happy t-day. It was nice but it made me hurt more that my most recent ex didnt even think to do that. Maybe im just being stupid. I mean she is my ex after all. Anyways besides that i have been doing alright. Ive been working alot of overtime and trying to save money. Trying to keep myself busy with hobbies and stuff. I have a wedding to go to next week and im looking forward to that. I went to a wedding with my ex and it was so fun but this time im going solo. I hope everyone is doing well.

 

Drjones- Im sorry about what happend and how you are feeling right now. I wish you would not have talked

to your ex so much because i was afraid that this would happen. I know its easier said than done though, trust me my brother, i know. You need to just let it go. I wanna call my ex everyday still but i know i cant. Im afraid to hear that she has a new Bf. I just would rather never know. Keep talking to taht new girl and have fun. Remember siiting around, not dating, not having fun has nothing to do with whether you and your ex will reunite. It doesnt, trust me. hang in there my brother, im here for you.

 

Mj108- Hows thing been going. It seems that you are doing good but i have been kinda out of the loop with all these post. So how are you doing? Been drinking much, lol... Man you guys type so many post i just cant keep up. If you can let me know how you are, ok?

 

Crazydawg- Good to hear from you boss!!!!! Thanks for your reply. I wish i would have not sent anything after all. I should have been smarter. I guess i expect a reply when really i dont deserve it i guess. Like i said, she is my ex. I dont know. How have you been, let me know.

 

As for everybody else keep up the good work. I love seeing everybody posting here. We have never met but we talk about everything here and it is awesome. I feel so grateful to have such bitchin people to talk to when i am down in the dumps. I hope everyone is doing well. I wsih i had the time to write evryone individually but i just dont but i will try my best. Keep me posted. I read somewhere on this forum a bitchin little quote and i wanna share it with everyone.

 

"TRUE LOVE WILL NEVER DIE.IT CAN ONLY BE DELAYED, UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN"

 

Kudos goes to whoever thought of that one. It makes me feel better when i begin to miss my ex and i hope it helps you all too. take care..........Kodiak

[Weird]

Sweet sassy molassy. Miss coming here for one day and there's 3.2 billion new messages. I like that

 

MJ,

 

what else to say....you frickin rock hard I can only hope I can find a girl who is cool like you. Every post you make is so fun to read and laced wiht badass humour. Nice job babe:) You have a southern accent? Nice. Southern accents and australian accents are the best for women. I'd give my left nut to be with an Australian chick.

 

Doc,

 

I commend you for speaking your mind to her when she called. Like you, I'm an honest guy and speak it straight. I do not doubt her silence meant she still has feelings.

 

 

wont accept anything less and i might just use WEIRDs idea of scheduling a trust/loyalty/spaz?or drama queen test!!!!

 

do it son. I swear I am going to do this if I ever get into another relationship. I actually started up a questionaire to verbally give to a chick who may have an interest in me. Figure that way I can see how she feels in the areas that I feel are important for a relationship to work.

 

 

Good to hear everyone else seems to be doing well.

 

Oh yeah...I don't think just because people get married it means they are soulmates. Look at all the divorces that happen. I think more people get married because society has the image you are supposed to by a certain age so they just panic and latch on to whoever is around at the time. Too mnay marriages today are out of convenience.

 

Now marriages that last...I think they are soulmates.

 

My parents got my bro and I a bar for Christmas and it is being delivered Saturday. Everyone can come on over and have some beer, popcorn and hmm, how about steaks:)

[mj108]

Weird---Thanks for all the compliments. I love reading your post as well. Oh, & about the Australian accents....I know what you mean! I love to hear an Australian accent & I would die to go out with an Australian guy!

Also---Wish I could come over & check out that new bar of yours.

 

Kodiak---Everyone pretty much is going through the same thing. We're all trying to get out there & date. All of us are trying to move on you know?

PS--You know me--I have to have my brew every now & then.

 

Nick14---So glad you met someone! Glad to hear from you. Keep in touch.

 

Atlous---I need to go see that movie! I need a good laugh. I'm going to try to go next week---I have the 5 year old this weekend.

 

H/H---Hmmm...when you become a plastic surgeon--let this old lady know.

 

Well, I've got to get back to work. I'm doing end of the year stuff as well--working like crazy! I'll try to post later.

 

Take care.

 

MJ

[Urban Rubble01]

Mj,

 

Where you are you in the South ? I'm from Seattle, but the rest of my family is from Georgia. I'm the only one without and accent ! Or, depending on how you look at it, I'm the only one WITH an accent.

 

Nick,

 

Good to hear you've found someone to spend some time with. It helps SO much, right ?

 

DrJ,

 

Sorry to hear about the drama man, that's a cold shot. I guess all you can do is be confident that you were better for her than this new guy. It sounds like you are, and if that's the case, then she'd be a fool not to come back. I know it seems like rhetoric and it doesn't really help, but stay strong man. I want to be encouraging, but alot of the things I want to say seem kind of cliche after hearing them myself so many times. Things will get better, out of all this bull**** that's the one thing you're assured of, it WILL get better.

 

Head/heels

 

That's the way, kamikaze style. Don't worry too much about getting shot down. When it's all said and done, what does it really matter if you look like an ass in front of some girl ?

 

 

Well, the ex and I had a pretty good night last night. I went up after school so I was there all day. We went and ate, watched movies and just hung out like normal, which was really good. It's alot easier to see her now that I'm feeling better. I've come to the point where I can accept what's happening, alot of that comfort comes from really believing the things she tells me.

 

I decided I was just going to sleep on the couch because it had gotten late. Well, that led to her asking me if I wanted to just sleep in the bed with her. Well, I guess I don't really need to tell you guys where that led. We had a long talk and decided that if we can keep it as just sex it should be no problem. We both know where we're at, we're on this break and it has to be this way. She's scared of giving me mixed signals, but I assured her (as well as myself) that I can handle it as long as I'm clear on where we are. I really think that we're in a kind of mutual spot now, now that I can think clearly I see that this is almost as hard on her as it is on me and that's good because I feel like it's a little more mutual.

 

So do you guys think this is a bad idea ? Nothing has changed other than that. We're still apart, we're still only going to see each other occasionally. But we've just agreed that we can use each other for relief. Dangerous ? Bad idea ?

 

Either way, I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

[Charlane]

Hi Urban, that still translate to her having the control. So the burden for communication should be on her then. Let her do the calling, contact, etc....DO NOT CALL HER. Just return the calls. Anything else translates to pressure that she will run from. Keep it light whatever you do and my fingers are crossed for you. This is where I am at right now. I'm not about to call anyone I'm dating choosing to have my fun. The guy that I had been dating calls anyway but I'm so thru with giving away my confidence. If he wants it, he needs to get busy and work for it because I'm still going forward either with or without him.

[Sukotto]

Well I was late for my date, traffic was terrible around George Square. It took me 10 minutes to drive 7 miles to the city and then 20 to drive the last 500 yards and find a parking spot. So i was 10 minutes late and probably made her think I was going to stand her up.

 

So I got there at 7:10pm and as I walked to the bar area and to my disbelief I saw one of my ex's friends sitting at the bar with her boyfriend, I just smiled, said hello walked past and sat down next to my date. We had some cocktails while waiting for a table, was only 30 minutes.

 

Well now your probably wondering where our table was, it was just a few tables away from my ex's friend. I sat with my back to the table and my date sat facing them, I then mentioned who they were and she told me that she was getting nasty looks from her. At least I know my ex will find out about it

 

My date is a big talker, she basically didn't stop all night and I just listened, occasionally speaking when she took a break to eat some food. We finally left the restaurant at 10:40pm, thats a pretty long time we spent chatting during the meal and then coffee afterwards. I gave her a lift home and once I got home I sent her a message saying I had a great time and would love to do something again. She agreed, woohoo!

 

I'm glad that my ex's friend was there, I'm pretty sure she probably phoned my ex as soon as she stepped outside. Will save me having to mention it in passing, I expect she'll ask me about who I was with the next time she see's me.

 

Now how long do I wait before suggesting we meet up again and well what should we do? Cinema or go out to a bar?

 

I'm actually going days without thinking about my ex now and I have plenty to do to keep myself occupied.

[Weird]

MJ,

 

hehe yeah I wish you could peep it too. I'll pop the bar's cherry Saturday afternoon with a beer dedicated to you. hehe

 

Urb,

 

I would advise not being ***** buddies in the current situation. Feelings are still there and I think the sex will just cause more problems than make things better. Do so at your own risk.

 

Sukotto,

 

nice job on having the date right in front of your ex's friend. That is funny. I say you go to the cinema and do it within a couple days. Maybe go Saturday or Sunday night.

 

I am going to guess your date with her constant talking talked about stuff other than her job, correct? If so, must be nice. hehe