How Long For Nc Until The Ex Knows They Have Messed Up!

[Sukotto]

I guess I can answer the question that started this thread.

 

It took my ex 68 days to realise that she has messed up but no contact was only lasting a few days at a time.

 

Well she asked alot of questions about heather and what she was like and I told her that I wasn't sure if it was going to go anywhere and I told her honestly that I kept comparing Heather to her, she then said its probably quite natural since we had been together for so long. I do plan to keep seeing heather on occasion but just as a friend and I'll make this clear to Heather the next time I see her.

 

I wouldn't say we're even back together yet, but she agreed that she thinks we should start dating each other and see where it leads, I suspect it will probably mean back together as a couple but I dont want to set myself up for a fall if it doesn't work out. What was really wierd was that she paid for half of everything tonight, it was actually amusing since I'd paid for basically everything since we started dating since i make probably over 6 times what she earns in a year, though she is only a student.

 

My mum even decided to have a go at giving advice tonight which was just so nice, when I came back she sat down and the first thing she asked is where Lynsey was. I explained i had dropped her off home before getting asked how everything went. At the end she then said they Lynsey was such a nice girl and hoped that we did get back together because she missed her, my mum and Lynsey were very close and got on really well. I suspect my mum to probably cry and embarass me when I do bring her home.

 

Btw I so want to state that no contact is absolutely pointless as a method to get back together with your ex. I met her once 2 weeks after we broke up and then again 4 weeks after that, in that time we casually sent each other text messages and chatted on msn. The next time we met up we ended up back at her house.

 

Another note, she appears to have lost these photos of me that I'm after.

[kodiak]

Hey Everybody-

 

First off congrats to Sukotto. Good Job!!! It looks like another one of us might be getting there second chance. As much as i would love for it to be me, I am very happy and I smiled when i read that last post. Thats awesome I just wish we all could get that. So im sure you guys are all tired of hearing about me being hurt that my ex didnt even respond to my simple b-day card I sent. I know im getting tired of listening to myself talk about it,lol... Anyways so i sent that card and I got no response. Granted she hasnt called be in about two months so im not i guess too shocked. Anyways to all my friend her at the shack I need some help because yes its one of those days.Could anybody here give me there reason or reasons why my ex you broke up with me would not respond to a simple b-day card and text. Im sure the obvious one is that she has completely moved on with someone new and im just a face in the crowd. So if you think that it is please dont hold back. Im sure i will read alot of things here that will hurt me but i can handle it so please tell me wwhat you all think. Im sure most have you know my whole story so you can probably give me a honest answer with my question. Thanks Everybody you all are tryuly good people....Take Care.....Kodiak

[theone44]

Originally posted by kodiak

Hey Everybody-

 

First off congrats to Sukotto. Good Job!!! It looks like another one of us might be getting there second chance. As much as i would love for it to be me, I am very happy and I smiled when i read that last post. Thats awesome I just wish we all could get that. So im sure you guys are all tired of hearing about me being hurt that my ex didnt even respond to my simple b-day card I sent. I know im getting tired of listening to myself talk about it,lol... Anyways so i sent that card and I got no response. Granted she hasnt called be in about two months so im not i guess too shocked. Anyways to all my friend her at the shack I need some help because yes its one of those days.Could anybody here give me there reason or reasons why my ex you broke up with me would not respond to a simple b-day card and text. Im sure the obvious one is that she has completely moved on with someone new and im just a face in the crowd. So if you think that it is please dont hold back. Im sure i will read alot of things here that will hurt me but i can handle it so please tell me wwhat you all think. Im sure most have you know my whole story so you can probably give me a honest answer with my question. Thanks Everybody you all are tryuly good people....Take Care.....Kodiak

 

 

 

 

Just give her time Kodiak. she is going thru the healing process. plus she is feeling very guilty and she have to much pride to call. just don't send nothing else,because you is only pushing her further and further away. it been 6 months for me,and i haven't sent my ex no card or anything. just totally "no contact" and you need to do the same.

[Nick14]

Well, Kodiak, you and I buddy are both in the same exact boat. As you heard, I sent a friendship email a few days after the "congrats for graduation uni" email. No response whatsoever, No actualy contact for 3 months and I am left sitting here wondering, ok I am a nice guy, but damn I am over her breaking up but I do want her apart of my life as a friend at least, yeesh. I think this is the first person, that ever denied being friends with me in my lifetime. Its funny how wierd and I ex's are going thru the same thing. Obviously, my ex is single and not with anyone only cause she is enjoying the single life assuming what I hear is true. She likes to drink and obviously trying to drink me away from her life and fit in with the "in-crowd". So , I dunno I am sure kodiak would agree with me but I bet we both would like to hear any kind of reply from our ex's, even if its a reply like "get the fook out of my life". Then hey, I can truely move on and thats that and thats her loss. Obviously, I never got why they dont' respond. Its like, if you don't want me in your life, then freaking tell me, its not so damn hard. I guess maybe she doesn't want to make that deceision and possibily regret it, who knows. On a brighter note, did go to the local casino night, 7 straight hours of poker but came home with nothing and loss $120. So that sucks but what can I do, 7 hours was worth it, at least i didn't lose it all in 30 mins. So, Kodiak buddy, your not alone man, I am going thru the same exact situation as you and it plain SUCKS! I would kill for a reply, hell any kind of reply but ehh..thats really all I can say is "ehh"......

[head/heels]

keep your spirits up and realize that you are the only one who can turn you spirits around...

 

dreamnt we were back together last night.....man how horrible of a dream...well i woke up and then went back to sleep to try to come up with another dream...but i am not sure that worked since i woke up still remembering the first dream

 

well have worked out 4 of the last 5 days and i am getting big! I really love working out since it separates me from the person i was when i was with her...i guess kinda like a mini make over...i still think of her everyday, but with god's help i am blocking out the bad thoughts when i start to obsess....i like WEIRD miss the old girl and not the girl she has become...i know in my head and my heart of hearts that she isnt good enough for me, but that same heart wants to reach out to her and help her turn potential into progress...but i cannot be the one who spurs her into change, she has to and for me to hope and wait on that means i might be waiting til the cows come home....but the red sox did win the series this year so guess there is always a chance, right NICK

 

so KODIAK AND NICK- dont sweat it...by them not calling it shows that they are internalizing it and trying to come to grips with their feelings...i am sure that both still have feelings for each of you and i can only say that you guys have to believe me......whether it is good or not is a different story, but i can assure you that they dont hate you...

 

DRJ- keep on wooing this woman, she seems to be the type who will fight it out to the bitter end instead of leaving you hanging during the tough times in a relationship....might we all find someone like that !

 

BAS- damn man, you must look like barry bonds on steroids!! oh wait....i mean like arnold swargenegger on roids!! oh damn.... well you must be shredded with all the exercise you are doing....how much do you spend a month on groceries? At 6'7 and all that activity you should be glad you are starting a new higher paying job...! you are gonna need it...btw how has it gone since you seen that tall triathelete???what was her name, Tillus?

seen her since or any type of contact?

 

mj---keep it light with Matty since he is coming on strong and you need to further heal (in my opinion) b4 anything serious can develop...and no casual sex!! as then you would not really have a chance for a great relationship ! (my opinion again)

 

 

Where are the girls? ATLOUS, LEXI B, oh and URB01.....

 

SUKY- man, play it super safe.....i would be very cautious...since she is unsure and all and you, being the dumpee have a lot to lose again...you can forgive but never forget!

 

WEIRD---you got that car yet?

 

ok all i am off to play some ball and workout....we should plan a LS reunion for 2005!! would love to see you all in person and shoot the breeze in a fun city....(seemingly LAS VEGAS since flights are cheap and what happens in vegas stays in vegas!)....oh and btw, anyone hear from DUGS again?

 

he and his SO must have really reconciled!!! i hope that she treats him right!

 

 

 

OH I ALMOST FORGOT____ i stuck myself with a contaminated needle on wednesday

and we had the patient tested for a hep panel and hiv--as well as me too....and everything was negative!!!!

 

so i should have went out and partyed but i spent the night reading a good book and thanking the good lord for the positive outcome...now i have to hold up my end of the deal to myself of realizing life is too short to worry about why why why and what was she thinking and i miss her.....sod that.....i could have had hiv and that would be the end of me worrying about her anyway....GOT TO LIVE FOR OURSELVES ALL

 

weekends are the hardest, but we will pull through and it will only get easier from here on out

 

thinking and praying for all of you

d

[Charlane]

Originally posted by theone44

 

 

 

 

 

Just give her time Kodiak. she is going thru the healing process. plus she is feeling very guilty and she have to much pride to call. just don't send nothing else,because you is only pushing her further and further away. it been 6 months for me,and i haven't sent my ex no card or anything. just totally "no contact" and you need to do the same.

 

 

Theone44, I agree. No contact may not be right for everyone. If the situation ended on a bad note, then it is absolutely necessary in order to be able to recover our pride and some assemblance of self-respect. My ex was dishonest and for me to attempt to reconcile with him would show that I have no regard for my pride. He would despise me for it more....for not have the self-respect to show that his behavior is not worth this type of effort. I know why he did this. The same thing happened to him. I think he is worth it but only after he attempts amends because if his mindset remains the same, then my efforts would be completely wasted and would only distance him that much more. He will have to have some life changing event happen to him to see what he lost.

[mj108]

Hi everyone,

 

I have to get all of these feelings out. So I hope it won't be too long.

 

Let me tell you all how my day was yesterday. First of all, I did go to the mountains & one of my bestfriends (my exes brothers wife) went with me. Well, we had a blast eventhough it was raining like hell up there. We went in a store & we came back---guess whose number is on the cellphone? Yep...you guessed it---my ex! He tried calling twice. He did leave a message saying that he wanted to see how I was doing..blah..blah..blah & that he REALLY needed to talk to me ASAP. He sounded drunk so I was concerned about him saying to call him back ASAP. So I called him back & He was *****ed up majorly! Anyway, he told me that ole psycho wacko was going wacko on him accusing him of me. I was like WTF? I haven't seen the ex in over 3 months. Anyway, I tried numerous times getting off the phone with him. He kept talking..talking...telling me he cared about me. I was very short with him. He kept saying "Are you mad at me?" I mean---here I am concerned for him & he just kept rambling on about him and I. He told me that he would always be here for me & that we 'shall meet again.' I sarcastically said "Be there....ha...no you won't...you left me remember?" He told me he didn't leave me...he thought he was doing the right thing going back to his ex. I was like "Whatever!" Then I told him I was tired & he asked "why?" I told him Because I talked to someone til 1 in the morning. He said "Who?" I said "Matt." He said "Matt...you're ex." I was like "YEP." He then said "Are you getting back together with him?" I told him "We chit chatted about a lot of things." He didn't say anything. I got off the phone with him & then an hour later he called back. He told me the psycho wacko wants to talk to me & psycho wacko thinks that him and I are seeing eachother. I asked him "Do you give her a reason for thinking that?" He told me no. I told him that she better not show up at my doorstep in a rage!

 

Anyway, we talked another 5 minutes & that was it. God---guys---sorry this is long. I'm just so pissed!

 

I get back to my bestfriends house & she tells me to invite Matt over. I do. He comes over. It's weird him and I over at my exes brothers house. Ha! Anyway, my exes brother tells me that he really likes Matt a lot.

 

Matt & I had a few drinks so my exes brother tells us we can spend the night so we don't have to drive (which we could had took a taxi). Anyway, I looked at my exes brother strange & he pulled me to the side & said "You know I like ole Matt & my brother *****ed up a good thing but you're like a sister to me & It's not going to bother me one bit if ya'll spend the night." Well, we did end up spending the night over there---nothing happened. MJ was a good girl. ha But I did get a kiss.

 

We stayed up playing pictionary & Mad Gab & I had the best time until the ex called his bro....once again...he was *****ed up. Anyway, he wanted his brother to come pick him up cause he wanted to come over. I begged his bro..."NO! Please don't!" His bro. agreed that it would be best that he didn't come over there (especially since the ex was drunk).

 

Do you guys think that he was trying to come over cause he knows I'm hooked up now? He was telling his bro he's going to leave psycho wacko...that he can't take it anymore. I mean, I'm having fun with Matt now & now he wants to leave the wacko & come back? WTF! I'm so pissed at how it seems our exes come back when we are moving along just fine without them!

 

Thanks for letting me vent. Sorry it was long. I'm fixing to go out. I'll try to get back on & post to you all tonight. I have to read through them. Thanks guys & gals for helping me through all this crap!

[Charlane]

MJ, from what I understand it is when we are doing just fine that the exes come back. It looks like yours is too. Take him back just not that easily. Do not call him unless you are returning his call otherwise, save yourself while he battles it out. That is his mess. For God's sake DO NOT TALK TO PSYCHO. If she calls, don't answer....NOTHING! Let her have her own demons to deal with.

[Charlane]

Hey guys, this is a pretty close group. This thread will run out of room eventually. How about we form out own group and take it somewhere else? We will always have each other to bounce life off of and really that is a luxury I do not have in my own personal life. I can't even seem to share with my stepsister because she has so much of her own life to deal with right now anyway and she is the only one I seem to share with. What do you think? I can research a new home for us and get a domain set up.

[Weird]

Could anybody here give me there reason or reasons why my ex you broke up with me would not respond to a simple b-day card and text.

 

Because she is a selfish cunt. Sorry, that is my direct, hold nothing back answer.

 

Peep this...I'm not a people person. In fact, I don't like humans at all except for family/friends, people I talk to on this site and others scattered aorund the world whom I think are quality people. Those people are good and I give them all I can and am there for them. But in general, I dont like people because I feel our species as a whole is selfish and dumb. Having said that and establishing that I'm not a people person, even I would have the courtesy and respect to thank someone (anyone) if they sent me a bday card or other nice greeting. Guess I was jsut raised beter than some of the clowns out there. My parents told me to show respect to people and that is what I do...even when I don't like them.

 

So yeah, your ex is acting like a selfish bitch and I don't care if she is healing or whatever. Common courtesy is to say "thanks" to people when they do something caring for you. Having said that, I still stand by my feeling she will contact you down the road sometime and still feel you did the correct thing in sending the card.

 

Sorry for being blunt

[Weird]

Sweet sassy...

 

Go to the dealership today to sign the real purchase form and listen to the business manager try and sell me crap I don't need. The Acura dealership is part of a big ass group of different brand dealerships owned by I'm guessing some guys worth multi, multi-millions. Anyway, the business manager dude has an office in the BMW dealership so that is where I went to sign the paper. Walk in (was with my folks and bro) and OMG, the receptionist was one of the most beautiful females I have ever seen in person. Why she is a receptionist at a dealership selling POS BMWs is beyond me. Damn....I will say it would almost be worth buying a BMW just to see her since I'd be there every month getting the damn car fixed. Sorry to any BMW owners here...I am just joking as I do somewhat like the cars Anyway, she is HOT and I'd guess is somewhere in her 20s...looked early 20s. Sheesh

 

Saw my new car. Friggin tint job they did is badass. Can't even see into the backseat unless you have your face pressed against the glass. hahaha...I bet I get pulled over one day by the cops but the tint is legal so screw them. I'd say the tint is 35% and it just looks darker because the interior is black. Plus, the car was in the showroom so outside it'll prolly be a bit easier to see in. hehe

 

I take delivery of that puppy on Tuesday or Thursday. I am going to miss giving up my current (Lexus IS300) baby since she is such a great car and I have had so much fun with her.

 

 

MJ,

 

hey sis! Don't like the crap you had to deal with yesterday wiht the ex. Damn him and his tramp woman. She better not try and come after you because sheeeet, we know you'll kick her ass;) OH and I think your ex is trying to get up with you again because he knows you're hooked up/sort of hooked up. Damn him.

 

Glad to hear you had a blast in the mountains!!!

[Charlane]

Originally posted by kodiak

Hey Everybody-

 

First off congrats to Sukotto. Good Job!!! It looks like another one of us might be getting there second chance. As much as i would love for it to be me, I am very happy and I smiled when i read that last post. Thats awesome I just wish we all could get that. So im sure you guys are all tired of hearing about me being hurt that my ex didnt even respond to my simple b-day card I sent. I know im getting tired of listening to myself talk about it,lol... Anyways so i sent that card and I got no response. Granted she hasnt called be in about two months so im not i guess too shocked. Anyways to all my friend her at the shack I need some help because yes its one of those days.Could anybody here give me there reason or reasons why my ex you broke up with me would not respond to a simple b-day card and text. Im sure the obvious one is that she has completely moved on with someone new and im just a face in the crowd. So if you think that it is please dont hold back. Im sure i will read alot of things here that will hurt me but i can handle it so please tell me wwhat you all think. Im sure most have you know my whole story so you can probably give me a honest answer with my question. Thanks Everybody you all are tryuly good people....Take Care.....Kodiak

 

 

Kodiak, Wierd is right. She is a totally selfish err...c*nt (eeek, I'd use a different word here). The fact is that she didn't respond even though you showed you care and it's obvious you are better than what she deserves. My guess is that she needs someone to play trampoline on her heart and it looks like she will get her wish. Don't become a part of that mess. She needs a serious battering to her psychology. Stay well for this. Let her have her mess all to herself. It's obvious you are the better person here. Please keep it that way. There is a reason for everything and like MJ and I was discussing before....maybe she did you a favor. You never know where you will be at 12 months from now. You could be famous, with some totally new incredible love, on the way to rich, etc.......I do believe that nothing happens by accident and that everything is by design, just on a higher level. You will be able to look back a year from now and have a better understanding of this.

[djones]

HEy Guys,

 

How are you all? I am doing ok, my dad is back home finaly, and he is doing better, I hope he sticks with the meds now....Well today I was so tired I just sleeped and now I am finaly feel like I have some energy. I read some of your post I let me give you my 2 cents:

 

Kodiak--I agree with Wierd, on this man she is pissing me off the way she is treating you, even if she does not want you or whatever she could have just sent a text saying thanks, and nothing more...whatever issues she has should not negate being nice.....Kodiak, dont try figure out why she is doing this or anything about, just leave it be, you are a great person and dont put more time into her, if she comes back and talks deal with it then, right now just continue having fun and maybe if you feel up to it, start dating....I know its hard man and you cant stop thinking about her, but ***** you deseve better....I am starting dating someone, and I am taking my time with it and see what happens so far its real good, do the same man....the feelings for her with be there but hopefully they will go away and just be a fond memory and not something that is makeing your heart hurt......

 

Sukotto-- good going man, just dont drop your guard down too fast, take your time and see what happens, just keep your mind open...keep us posted...

 

HandH-- Glad to hear you are ok man, ***** needlesticks are *****ing a pain in the ass you have too worry for the lab results and its just no fun.....I very glad you are ok man....you are right I will continue to woo this new girl, I think you are right she would fight for me and the realtionship when things get bad...its funny that you said that b/c we had talked about stuff like that and she brought it up and it just suprised me, it was really nice...i am going to see her for breakfast tommorow, she could not make out dinner date today b/c she was in a study group, she called to appologise and I told her not to worry about it, she felt real bad, but i told her dont worry...so I can tell that she does care....

 

Weird---congrads with the new car again man, maybe you should ask that hot chick out, hey you never know man, take a chance hey if you get shot down who cares lifes too short....

 

MJ-- Glad to hear you had a good time....***** you are right the exes come at the wrong time just when you are getting your life in order....I say *****it, keep on going with Matt and see what happens with it...I think you guys are hitting it off real well, your ex is in desperation and he is not doing anything to better himself (the drinking or the situation with the crazy biatch...know kids are involed and they should be with their mom, but I dont think so in this case, so what he is telling you is just crap....I dont know what this cazy biatch wants with you or what he is telling her about you two, but just take care, b/c you dont know what he is saying to her while he is drunk and she may want to confront you...so take care.....your ex is tring to get you back and he does not like the fact that you are happy now, which is wrong, he *****ed up not you....he has to pull him self out you did enough, so far he has not proven himself that he is changed....

 

p/s MJ you beat me to it!!!, I did not get the kiss yet from her...we are meeting up on Sunday and she said she is going to kiss me when she's me

[atlous]

Hello everyone how are you?

 

MJ I am so sorry to hear about your ex! What balls he has hey? I think that he will never change unless he leaves the beoch and spends time thinking about what he wants. He is not in a good state of mind and niether will you be if you keep listening to that sheet you are sooooo waayyyyy abbbbove him. If you are meant to be then there will be change and he will not be with her.

 

I have missed you guys! I am heading into finals so I don't spend alot of time on my computer anymore. It is good to hear that you all are doing well!

 

Your bud

Atlous

[Weird]

atlous,

 

good luck with the finals!!!!

 

 

 

unrelated note...I pick up my new jalopy tomorrow. Yoink

 

Hope all is well with you fine people here

[bigacesteve]

I've just sent this to Weird but thought I'd put it up for you all.

 

Decided to send the Triathelete girl (Fliss) a Xmas card today. Whilst I was buying the card I saw my ex's Sister and niece. I quickly hid because my ex's niece goes mental (in a good way) whenever she sees me; didn't think I could have handled it and I was in a packed shop.

 

Got home watched some telly, tried everything to get my mind off the ex. In the end I wrote out the Xmas card and a small note and posted it to Fliss. Just got to see what happens there. Really nice Xmas card as well.

 

I need all my education certificates for Thursday to take with me to the police uniform fitting. Yep, they've got to find a uniform to fit me in. Whilst looking through my draw I found pictures of the ex and I. I thought it's nearly Xmas, I'll send a text and if I hear nothing I'll not bother ever again. My rationale was that if she doesn't want anything to do with me now at Xmas time, she never will. I sent the message 'Miss you Liz. Wish we could talk. Steve.'

 

Guess what I got a reply, nearly dropped my phone in the bath. She says she'd rather talk to me in person because she has always gotten argumentative on the phone with me and talking on the phone is not the same as in person. I said no problem and we're meeting up on Sunday at a place we always used to go to together; her choice. She's texted me about 5 times now and they're all really pleasant!!

 

Wish me luck. I'm keeping a level head friends; I've gone through 3 months of pain and I'm not about to do that again. If I sense bulls*** I'm out of there.

 

P.S. A female friend at work has been flirting with me outrageously, dropping very blatant hints all the time. I've got a collection of emails of what she wants to do to me... Guess what? She's 'happily' married.

[djones]

Hey Bigsteve,

 

Wow, good luck man, just keep your guard up and see what happens...I know you will keep a level head......married chick...hmm....good thing you found out now...thats just asking for trouble....keep us posted...

 

Atlous-- Good to hear from you, study hard, when you are done your exams fills us in on whats been going on with you!!

 

Weird--thats awesome man....I happy for you!, hehe that black tint and car should be a nice contrast with the snow .....so far we only had a little here in Toronto, which is fine by me!

[Sukotto]

Steve thats basically how it started with my ex and basically after 3 months our feelings for each other were very strong though we didn't have any arguments or anything bad during that time just occasional chats. Now i'm not sure where we stand, i've had about 20 texts in the week and seen her once for a proper date and two other quick meetings to drop stuff off and then pick stuff up.

 

Last night I was over and her parents were in and it was so awkward, her mum basically started asking question after question since she hadn't seen me since the night of the split and her dad basically said very little to me but that always happens, he's not very talkative. So now I'm not sure where we stand, I've not suggested another meeting yet, i'd rather let her do it but I still have her christmas present here so I can always drop that off if i'm looking for an excuse to go see her. I had the present planned months in advance, its a handheld text scanner since she was always complaining about having to get a book from the short loan section of the library and then sit taking notes.

 

I hope it goes well, my only problem was the awkward silences. My mind would just go blank and I couldn't think of anything to say, so i'd just smile at her and she kept asking what i was smiling at but i was just smiling because i couldn't think of anything to say since i was nervous.

 

Now back to doing this stupid paper on division circuits within computer hardware, snore! At least I have a trip to London for work on Wednesday!

[head/heels]

BAS------ watch it bro....remember what she did to you earlier....anyway i know you have a good head on your shoulders, but dont let yourself only remember the great times as a new relationship would mark the beginning of a very new type of relationship.....tread lightly and realize that if it doesnt work out to your liking that you are going to be fine and there are plenty of hotties out there that are waiting to polish your knob...so what if they are all married!... jk.......i am sure that the ex is kicking herself and so it is up to you to set the rules of the game...and if she doesnt like it...there is always fliss....good luck my man...hoping and praying for the best for you bro.

 

Atlous!!!! hope you are well and you have been able to concentrate on your studies...i know how hard that is! good luck and ace em chica! proud of you for hanging in there.....dont look back ...

 

MJ...my wireless card is fried so i havent been ablle to IM ya....cant believe your ex is such a loser and a liar....why doesnt he realize that his act is wearing thin and you cant just rip someones heart out and then expect to lie and sqeeze your way back in! now he realizes that he can t have you so easily so he wants you back...classic case of wanting what you cant have....my bestfriend ditched his gf, who i happen to talk to more than him these days.....long story short... he left her for some fun with his boys and with other girls and she was devastated for 8 months..she is drop dead gorgeous (i mean modelesque- tall thin beautiful) so anyway he dates around and then comes back to her at month 8....she is still in love with him so she goes back with him...but everything was different...she couldnt get it out of her head that she was 2nd best, and that he was "with" other girls while she was at home and loyal to him even though he was out there screwing multiple women....she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him, and we all thought they would,,...but anyway, she broke up with him when she found out he was spending time with some other girl....so she ended it and they later hung out alot 2 years later and she realized she didnt have feelings for him at all!.... she has since moved on and found someone she wants to spend the rest of her life with and she says he tops my bf in all catagories..so she tells me not to worry about it since good things come to those who wait!!

 

point is: dont let his bellyaching get his foot in the door! he is the same one who tore your heart to pieces and you deserve someone who will put your heart in a velvet box under lock and key inside of theirs... (mushy huh?)

sorry it was an emotional day for me for some reason!

 

 

night all....

chins up

d

[kodiak]

Hey Everybody-

 

Well i have some good news and one hell of a story for you all. well it was good at first but then I got my heart ripped open all over again. I will keep it short but most likely it will be a long post. I have to share it with you all though so here i go:

So i got a phone call from my ex the other day. After three months on NC she called. I was at a party so i didnt have my phone on me however she left a message. Basically she called to thank me for my card and told me how sweet it was. She asked how I was doing. My family, work, living in my new houes, etc then what she said blew me away. She told me that she had moved back to her old hometown and that all her mail was being forwarded so she just got my card today. I was shocked. She was living with her stepdad, mom and little sister and as far as i knew they had no plans on moving. When i met my ex she had just moved from her old hometown about three months prior. I have no clue what happened to her or the family. she sounded very weird on the phone and her voice did not have the excitment that she always had. I feel that something must be wrong. Her other stepdad lives in her new state and there was alot of custody issues with her little sister going on so maybe that had something to do with it. i just dont know. Mayber her mom got another divorce and they decided to move back.From what it sounded like on the phone, her mom and sister moved too. I dont know. So anyways this shocked the hell out of me and i still am. So anyways she said on the phone that she would talk to me soon so i figured i would give her a call. So the next day i called her cell and some guy picked up. i asked for her and he said she wasnt home and he was a real prick to say the least. He sounded like a older guy but i dont know. I was very polite and was like "if she gets in just have her call me" I said thank you but he just hung up. So i take it that it was a new BF so it hurts liek hell. sure i dont now for sure but its a pretty good guess. My ex is not the one too have someone pick up her cell phone either. I imagine that she would not have known this or if she didnt want to talk to me, she could have just let it go to voicemail. Oh well. If that guy is supicious like that then he has some issues. i would never dream of picking up my GF's cell phone. NO WAY!!!! Anyways that was it. She never called back nor do i think she ever will. I have been thinking so much abut this that its killing me inside. I mean why on earth would she let her new BF pick up her phone when im sure she know that it would hurt me. I could understand that if i was the psycho ex that called all the time, then maybe this dude would pick up to scare me off but i havnt called her in three months or longer. I just want to know what happened and why all the sudden she picked up and moved. Its crazy. I just hope that everything is ok with her and her family. I knew she had a BF back home so maybe she fell back to home. I could rack my brain all day thinking of all the possibilities but i cant do that, I know. I just hope that she is doing ok and is happy.

So i guess now that i can put all my hopes of her wanting another chance away for good. Ithurts liek hell but maybe it was a sign of the closure i needed when that guy picked up. He was such a, A-Hole on the phone too and i was so respectfull. It was nice to hear from her and hear her voice one last time. I seriously doubt that i will ver speak to her again, let alone see her. Crazy things happen in life and this was one of them for me. I have no address of where she lives now so i cant write her a letter but i would like to know what happened to the girl that in my heart will always be my soulmate. Take Care Everyone and Happy Holidays.........Kodiak

[Charlane]

Originally posted by kodiak

Hey Everybody-

 

Well i have some good news and one hell of a story for you all. well it was good at first but then I got my heart ripped open all over again. I will keep it short but most likely it will be a long post. I have to share it with you all though so here i go:

So i got a phone call from my ex the other day. After three months on NC she called. I was at a party so i didnt have my phone on me however she left a message. Basically she called to thank me for my card and told me how sweet it was. She asked how I was doing. My family, work, living in my new houes, etc then what she said blew me away. She told me that she had moved back to her old hometown and that all her mail was being forwarded so she just got my card today. I was shocked. She was living with her stepdad, mom and little sister and as far as i knew they had no plans on moving. When i met my ex she had just moved from her old hometown about three months prior. I have no clue what happened to her or the family. she sounded very weird on the phone and her voice did not have the excitment that she always had. I feel that something must be wrong. Her other stepdad lives in her new state and there was alot of custody issues with her little sister going on so maybe that had something to do with it. i just dont know. Mayber her mom got another divorce and they decided to move back.From what it sounded like on the phone, her mom and sister moved too. I dont know. So anyways this shocked the hell out of me and i still am. So anyways she said on the phone that she would talk to me soon so i figured i would give her a call. So the next day i called her cell and some guy picked up. i asked for her and he said she wasnt home and he was a real prick to say the least. He sounded like a older guy but i dont know. I was very polite and was like "if she gets in just have her call me" I said thank you but he just hung up. So i take it that it was a new BF so it hurts liek hell. sure i dont now for sure but its a pretty good guess. My ex is not the one too have someone pick up her cell phone either. I imagine that she would not have known this or if she didnt want to talk to me, she could have just let it go to voicemail. Oh well. If that guy is supicious like that then he has some issues. i would never dream of picking up my GF's cell phone. NO WAY!!!! Anyways that was it. She never called back nor do i think she ever will. I have been thinking so much abut this that its killing me inside. I mean why on earth would she let her new BF pick up her phone when im sure she know that it would hurt me. I could understand that if i was the psycho ex that called all the time, then maybe this dude would pick up to scare me off but i havnt called her in three months or longer. I just want to know what happened and why all the sudden she picked up and moved. Its crazy. I just hope that everything is ok with her and her family. I knew she had a BF back home so maybe she fell back to home. I could rack my brain all day thinking of all the possibilities but i cant do that, I know. I just hope that she is doing ok and is happy.

So i guess now that i can put all my hopes of her wanting another chance away for good. Ithurts liek hell but maybe it was a sign of the closure i needed when that guy picked up. He was such a, A-Hole on the phone too and i was so respectfull. It was nice to hear from her and hear her voice one last time. I seriously doubt that i will ver speak to her again, let alone see her. Crazy things happen in life and this was one of them for me. I have no address of where she lives now so i cant write her a letter but i would like to know what happened to the girl that in my heart will always be my soulmate. Take Care Everyone and Happy Holidays.........Kodiak

 

Hi Kodiak. I'm so incredibly sorry. It sounds like she is back with the old BF. She probably didn't mean for you to talk to him either...it just kind of happened I think. I imagine that she misses you like hell being with a jerk like that. I'm sure that he is really mean to her right now. I think he was why she left home to begin with. I would not be surprised if they don't last 2 months because his vision of you will eat him up inside. Why she moved back has me curious. I have been posting that our economy is going to go thru some grief here within the next 6 months and maybe she got caught up in that already with job loss, etc. The fact is, though, that she is living with her parents again. She is not living with the boyfriend. I would be worried about her if anything. I think that she is going down in flames personally. I think that if you called her again during the daytime, that she might speak to you. You could try and put your thoughts to rest then. At least she can tell you herself. If she does speak to you, tell her that you are worried about her and that she doesn't sound the same. She will appreciate it.

 

This could go back to my contention that our lovers leaving us might have been doing us a favor and we just don't know it yet.

[kodiak]

charlene-

 

hey thanks for the reply. Im sure you are right and i was afriad that i would get these kinda of responses back from everyone but that is ok. It all just seems so werid to me. She never talked about this guy before i just new she had a ex in her old hometown. Oh well, maybe he did get her back. If so he is lucky. I miss her so much now, it sucks. Maybe she misses me but after all the bitching and complaining i did about her not tahnking me for the card, now i wish that she would have just texted me. By her calling me and leaving a message it kinda made me feel that just maybe she wanted me to call her back. However i guess i was wrong and she wanted mto to call that guy who was a dick back. i dont know

[Charlane]

Kodiak, him answering the phone was all by accident, I'm sure. Call her once every couple of weeks. Anything more than that is pressure. This girl is in trouble.

 

I don't think he is making any kind of a difference in her life. I would go on as if he doesn't exist because it does not sound good for her to have him in her life. If anything avoid any questions about him COMPLETELY. Your concern is for her only. I think you still have a chance. She was sending you a plea for help subconciously. How you handle it, now, is crucial.

[bigacesteve]

Kodiak,

sounds like your ex may have left her phone lying around and this fella heard it ringing and decided to answer it. I myself would never answer someone elses phone and be rude to the caller; I wouldn't answer their phone anyway unless I recognised the callers name as a friend of mine.

 

Like Charlane says, try calling her again sometime during the day. Could just all be a misunderstanding. Don't think too much into it, get some facts first before you worrying.

[djones]

Hey Guys,

 

Kodiak--Good to hear from you, I read your post, I would agree with Charlane, call her during the day and see what happens, dont wait too long, and dont worry untill you get all the facts, no point right now thinking its her BF....cross that bridge when you get all the facts...take care and keep us posted....and kodiak just keep guarding your heart, dont get hurt again....

 

As for me my dad is home he is doing good so far no more chest pains.....As for me and the new girl, we did not get to meet up this past weekend and it looks like we may just have to see each other after she finishes her exams this week....which is fine, she is very sorry about the cancelations, I told her dont worry about, we have been talking on the phone and msn pretty much every day which is great....she said this statement to me twice on two different occaisions when we chat and I just want to know what you all think, she said to me that no matter what happens to us in the future that i always have a friend....I guess you can interprete it two ways that one she is very genuine or that she does not see me as a potential partner.....I dont know I am thinking the worst, just b/c of what has happened to me with my last relationship, I thought all was going well and then I was dumped....so now I am just a little more appriehensive and its kind of makeing me not open up my self to her......so far she has not given me anyindications of not wanting me, she still talks about wanting to kiss me when we see each other...so maybe i am just worrying for nothing...anythoughts guys?

 

Take care