How Long For Nc Until The Ex Knows They Have Messed Up!

[theone44]

Originally posted by Weird

That is EXACTLY how my ex is. Any discussion where we have a differing opinion is a fight in her mind. It's hilarious. Also, my ex always would refuse to talk about things. Even now she does this. She just runs away from discussing stuff.

 

Guess it makes it eaiser for people to think that way rather than see things aren't nearly as bad as they try to imagine.

 

 

 

Communication is the key to any success-full relationship,but many do not heed to it. Some men and women would rather run then to work things out. My ex did tell me that sometime i scare her sometime but why didn't she just sit down and discuss it with me. You know what weird when i was the nice guy everything was cool with her until i start reading book how to deal with women. How not to give your power over to them let them manipulate you or try to let let them run all over top of you and not let them disrespect you either. So since i being more confident and put up with none her crap being a real man she say now i scare her sometime. She take off and run like a jack rabbit in heat,but when i was the nice good caring man putting up with her crap......then i was cool. Read my lips "Never be tooooooooo nice to women,because they will use you up like toilet paper"

[LexiB]

Originally posted by WantanS4

Women, I think, by nature are selfish/spoiled........ everything has to go their way, and if there's even a hint of something not happening their way, they think of ANYTHING to get out or have it go their way.

 

Hey wantan, I luv u and all the other fellas on here but that statement was a little.....outta line/unfair/overextended/biased/uninformed/untrue...

 

HUMAN BEINGS by nature may be selfish. But thats not just women---your breed is included too.

 

If it was just women wanting "everything to go our way" , than there wouldnt be any men on this forum complaining about lost love--ie, "something not happening their way". It would only be women wishing their exes could come back to them, trying to figure out what went wrong or even thinking of what they could do to win them back--which would be doing "anything to get out" of the bad situation.

 

Every guy, since they dont care about things going their way would just say "oh, golly gee I guess thats just how it was meant to be"...

 

But as there are actually more men on this forum than chicas, thats obviously not the case.

 

Of course being upset abt losing someone you love isnt a bad thing, Im just pointing out that everyone has the urge for things to turn out the way they want. Who wants to lose out on things?

 

We're all great people and we've all been burned. But we cant condemn an entire gender for what one person did.

[Weird]

haha I just figured out wantan's name. Want An S4. Man, I was slow with that one:)

 

Based on women around me, I'd say females are selfish in general but then the wonderful ladies (ahem, Lexi and atlous and mj) in this thread show me that isn't totally the case

[mj108]

Hope everything is going well for everybody.

 

Dugs---I hate to hear that it went bad for you.

 

Head/heels----Glad you're back! Glad your trip went well.

 

Weird---Happy B-day! Mine is tomorrow! PS--I'm the ancient-old-lady here.

 

BigAceSteve---Good luck next week! Hope it goes well.

 

Hope everyone else is doing well as for me--I've been so busy with work, exercising, & hanging out with friends. I do need some advice from you all...about what is going on. I talked to my exs mom the other day. She tells me that my ex started drinking a month before our split. That's when he acted distant & would make plans with me & break them (unlike him!). Anyway, my ex is a recovering alcoholic. He was sober for 7 years. His mom tells me that the ole girl that he's now living with drinks too. His mom wasn't blaming the girl but she just told me that his drinking is what broke us up...she also said that he hasn't been around her for 3 months now. He has distant himself off from all those who care about him & love him. Now of course I'm worried. I mean, I shared 2.5 years with him. I never dranked around him & actually I stayed sober right along with him. Now I'm worried about him. Anyway, his mom told me if I heard from him to have him to call her. His mom won't call at his house because her & the psycho girl doesn't get along. Him and I haven't spoked since Sept. 22. I'm worried about him & I still care. I broke the NC & tried to call him. Well, psycho girl picked up his cell so I hung up. I mean, what should I do? Should I still try to call him or let him be?

 

Please give me your input. I have to get back to work but I will check the post later. Thanks.

[Charlane]

Wierd,

 

I'm pointing to what appears to be the desire to control and you know, it doesn't have to be gender based either. It's an insight into their being...their personality and it could be vise versa for a female. Besides that, I don't want to hump. I want to make love. That was my observation too. My head spun after my dad died in August so I took a bigger look at myself. My observation was that I don't understand how it is that anyone is even giving me the kind of attention that I am getting. In other words, I feel like I don't deserve it but that it feels good and I'm not about to apologize for it either. Now, I met a guy that makes it where I'm at sound superficial mostly because I am not used to this kind of attention.

 

As for Sex in the City, I just didn't care for that show. I may be in my forties and with the younger guy, but I didn't go looking for that. It just happened and I still can't believe it. I can't understand why he would want me. What I really can't believe is that just this weekend alone, I got over 60 emails from online dating. I don't understand why this is happening when the man that I gave my soul to decided that he didn't want me 6 months ago.

[WantanS4]

Actually Weird............. it's now gotans4........ i got it about 1.5 after she did me in..........

 

 

LexiB, no... we'er not selfish...... all the men here are pretty much "What the hell happened???" and "I don't understand!"......... and why? Because women (most not all) have this tendency to let emotions run rampant and instead of thinking with their minds when things get rough, they think with their heart. I accuse the female gender of this...... YES I DO!

 

For me, it's mostly....... "Why would you do this?" and "You blamed me for treating you badly, but don't you realize that you made it almost impossible to love sometimes and I just lost my patience you forced me over to the edge of a**h***"....... which is true. I mean, hell i couldn't tell if I said/did something wrong........ and in fact I thought I was okay because I never did the average guy s*** to her........... but what i did do was question her.......... on everything........ BECAUSE SHE WOULDN"T TELL ME IN THE FIRST PLACE...... and all i wanted was a sweet short honest answer...... who could ask for more?

 

In fact when I thinka bout it now, I wonder who the hell I was dating......... SHE KNEW ME THROUGH and THROUGH..... but I look back now and she had like 1 dimension to her.

 

I don't know.... maybe it's just one of those days when i throw blame around..... but i doubt it.

 

mj108,

I know you care... but.. LET IT BE......... he's got a problem..... and you don't want to get involved because if things don''t work out for him...... guess who's going to share the blame? On top of that, he gave you the boot, so he obviously doesn't need your input..... he's all grown up and can take care of himself...... so let him.

[RobRoy]

Mj108,

 

You need to leave him alone.. I am a Recovering Alcoholic of 17 years. One of the things

that people don't understand is that I don't drink because I don't want to. If a person makes special

considerations for my Alcoholism then it upsets me.

There is a pub or beer store on every corner. I can drink if I chose too.

So.. Because his girlfriend drinks doesn't mean he will. That is most likely not what his sobriety hinges on.

My ex wife and almost every girlfriend I've had for years have all drank somewhat.

I think you looking for a reson to continue to feel connected to him.

My 2 cents worth

 

RoboRoy

[WantanS4]

hey Charlene,

 

Send me a picture..... so I can stand in line too!

[theone44]

Originally posted by Charlane

Wierd,

 

I'm pointing to what appears to be the desire to control and you know, it doesn't have to be gender based either. It's an insight into their being...their personality and it could be vise versa for a female. Besides that, I don't want to hump. I want to make love. That was my observation too. My head spun after my dad died in August so I took a bigger look at myself. My observation was that I don't understand how it is that anyone is even giving me the kind of attention that I am getting. In other words, I feel like I don't deserve it but that it feels good and I'm not about to apologize for it either. Now, I met a guy that makes it where I'm at sound superficial mostly because I am not used to this kind of attention.

 

As for Sex in the City, I just didn't care for that show. I may be in my forties and with the younger guy, but I didn't go looking for that. It just happened and I still can't believe it. I can't understand why he would want me. What I really can't believe is that just this weekend alone, I got over 60 emails from online dating. I don't understand why this is happening when the man that I gave my soul to decided that he didn't want me 6 months ago.

 

 

 

 

Charlene one door close and many other doors will open for you. One day your ex is going to reallize what he is missing. Sometime exes doen't see what other see in us. Well have you thought that u might be sweet, kind lady with a great personality...that what my ex was and has. Any man you meet just make sure he is not stingy and is a giver,cause it take too.

[Charlane]

Don't call mj. That is an unhealthy situation and will only spill into your life and you deserve better than that. Let them keep their mess with themselves. It's their problem. They have to grow up.

[Charlane]

Wantan,

 

If you flip to page 12 of this thread, you will see a URL with my picture as a result. Thank you for making me feel better.

 

You know, someone said it was good for the ex to see you (me in this case) with someone else. Why is that? How would that change anything? Like I said, I never called or begged him back and I won't if it kills me. I'm making the greatest effort to make me better and live well, which I understand is the best revenge. I think I understand that because I did have a relationship about 10 years ago with a rock star and he split with me. This last year, he started calling me constantly. I saw him. He looked horrible as a result of hard living. He had done me a favor and I didn't see that until now. When I had moved in June, I didn't leave him my new phone number either. I just couldn't deal with it.

[Weird]

Hmm, sounds like you want to hump but pretend it is making love. Not logical to go on about the length of time fuggin when you are "making love."

 

Also find it funny you apparently love this guy. So you still love your ex and you love this guy? Wow. If this guy were to break up with you tomorrow would you go and love the next guy that steps up to bat to date you?

 

It is my opinion based on the stuff you have posted on here that you don't know what true love is and are more into infatuation/feeling good and hey, nothing wrong with that if it floats your boat. If you're happy then that is all that matters.

[Charlane]

Wierd,

 

I'm not pretending anything. There is no confusion of the two. I love the ex and am attempting to let a new person into my life.

 

It sounds like you want to hump/make love/whatever and are frustrated.

[Weird]

you attempt to let a new person into your life by humping them and passing it off as making love? gotcha

 

No, it sounds like I am just shaking my head at a 43 year old woman (or whatever age you are) resorting back to a teenager's mentality.

 

Since you started posting on this thread you have:

 

-tried to brag about your looks by implying soooooooo many guys send you emails

 

-tried to brag about how rich and powerful you will be in a few years because you are a CEO of who knows what company

 

-tried to brag about how much of a piece you must be because you have this tall hot guy dating you

 

-tried to brag about how this hot guy is so great because he can spend more than 30-45 mins in hump sessions while lesser men get tired (ever think maybe they get bored?) spending more than that amount of time in sex sessions.

 

I merely have replied to your claims with my owns thoughts on what you have posted.

[theone44]

Originally posted by Charlane

Wierd,

 

I'm not pretending anything. There is no confusion of the two. I love the ex and am attempting to let a new person into my life.

 

It sounds like you want to hump/make love/whatever and are frustrated.

 

 

 

making love and humping are the same thing,but how long will that last,if true love isn't there. Some women just love sex more than they love themselves... that why so many of them get dogg out.

[Charlane]

Wierd,

 

You are an a**h***. I am attempting sort out all of this business and I thought I would be able to here. The last few posts have been me defending myself because somehow you are getting some feeling of inadequacy out of this when none of this has anything to do with you personally. Your girlfriend didn't walk away....she ran screaming.

[theone44]

Originally posted by Weird

you attempt to let a new person into your life by humping them and passing it off as making love? gotcha

 

No, it sounds like I am just shaking my head at a 43 year old woman (or whatever age you are) resorting back to a teenager's mentality.

 

Since you started posting on this thread you have:

 

-tried to brag about your looks by implying soooooooo many guys send you emails

 

-tried to brag about how rich and powerful you will be in a few years because you are a CEO of who knows what company

 

-tried to brag about how much of a piece you must be because you have this tall hot guy dating you

 

-tried to brag about how this hot guy is so great because he can spend more than 30-45 mins in hump sessions while lesser men get tired (ever think maybe they get bored?) spending more than that amount of time in sex sessions.

 

I merely have replied to your claims with my owns thoughts on what you have posted.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Weird you better watch it you just piss Charlene off,never make woman mad or fuss with them cause you will never win.........

[Charlane]

Theone,

 

I agree. I never refer to it as humping though. I love sex, yes. Rarely does anyone say that they hate sex I think. I'm glad and feel lucky that I am getting attention at a minimum. My pride and ego had been slayed just before that. I can't say that everyone is in love when they are making love except that one can be a path to the other. It is beautiful for me at the least.

 

To call it humping is to make it cheap for the both of us. I would respect him also.

[Weird]

Right.

 

You are attempting to sort out your business by hyping yourself up about how desireable you are to the world's male population.

 

Every other person on this thread most likely is attempting to sort out their business but I don't see any of them constantly going on about how great they are like you have and that is what has made me comment on it all.

 

Trust me, I do not feel inadequate. You know NOTHING about me and it is pretty lame you are (again) resorting to acting like a teenager by now trying to take those shots (calling me inadequate, saying my ex ran away screaming, calling me an a**h***, etc) towards someone you know nothing about.

 

It is cool being called an a**h*** by a total stranger on here especially when almost everyone else whom I have conversed with says I am a good guy and thank me for offering advice. I guess they are just wrong and I am an a**h*** since someone who knows nothing about me says I am.

 

I have said it before and will say it again...to each their own. It has just been my opinion and if what YOU do makes YOU happy then great. I just find it all silly.

[Weird]

I can't say that everyone is in love when they are making love except that one can be a path to the other.

 

 

haha riiiiight.

 

I should try that some day:

 

"oh baby just come home with me so we can fug and I will fall in love with you"

 

Got a great relationship there if it takes having sex with a person to fall in love with them. Yikes.

[Weird]

Back to our regular scheduled program...

 

MJ,

 

hmm, that is a tough situation you are in. I really don't know. On one hand I understand full well that you care for him and don't want him to fall deeper into his hole but at the same time I would not like it if you sorta snuck your way into that situation and got hurt from it. You've been through a lot with that guy and it would really be depressing if you got screwed over in some way by showing your concern.

 

He obviously has some problems that he should seek some help with and I think maybe for the time being it would be best if you did not contact him and let him sort out his problems.

 

That is just my opinion but if you strongly feel you should call him and stuff then do what you feel is best in your heart. Again, I just don't want to see you get somehow screwed over by all this and be back to feeling bad.

[djones]

Hey Guys,

 

MJ-- I would call him, his behaviour of isolating himself from people around him sounds very self destructing....if he has this problem in the past (drinking) I would call him and find out whats going on with him....maybe point him to AA, you cant do it by yourself and you dont need to, but as a friend to him you can point him to a right direction in getting help, it seems like the woman he is with is no prize and she is just adding to his problem.....HOWEVER, MJ if you do this guard your heart....this guy needs some help and you cant save him, just point him to get some help from others ie Doc, AA, whatever.....its not your job to hold his hand all the way through this...just give him the nudge he needs, ie call him....thats my opinion...i guess its from a med point of view....its not your job to help him but if you feel that you are the only one then do it....I would suggest one thing is dont meet him just talk on the phone....

[atlous]

Happy Birthday girl! You are not old at all besides at what age do we become cougars? LMAO! Serious though I would not call him. You do not want to be added to the triangle orf distruction. Nothing you can do or say will help anything at this point in time. They need to figure things out by themselves. Besides he is hurting because of the choices he made. Allow him to feel that allow him to miss what it was like with you. He may just have a connection in his brain and say to himself " I love Mj what the hell am I doing". Allow him to come to you and if he does it is up to you whether you want to be supportive or tell him where to go. You want a relationship with someone who is healthy, moreover someone who knows what he wants and is not confused. I believe from what I have read about you that you are a great person. People like you and I (laughing thought I would bring myself into this) have magnetic personalities and we never stay single long. You may have an epiphany and think that you deserve better! Ride with your emotions and let him be. Do not call it will more than likely add to the confusion. He sounds messed up and that has nothing to do with you. Count yourself lucky that you are not involved with this mess, you are now an outsider looking in. That is the best place to be because things with you are probably looking good right now.

 

Your bud

Atlous

[Weird]

HOWEVER, MJ if you do this guard your heart...

 

exactly. I (as does everyone else here) dont want her to get screwed by simply trying to help someone she cares for.

 

Mj if you decide to call to offer some support or help and he throws it back in your face and thereby makes you feel like shiiite, I am gonna fly down there and kick his ass

[Charlane]

I asked this question before and would appreciate some opinions please (except for Wierd as I already have yours). Is it good for an ex to see you with someone else? I made a conscious effort to improve myself over the last six months and I also chose to avoid any places that he might be at in the interim. I read books about improvement from the inside and overhauled my diet and it made the best impact on me. So, I do want him back. Yes I do. Would this be in my favor with regard to that, that he see me feeling good, looking happy and with someone else? Inside my heart, I still have that place for him and I really think that he just does not care about me anymore but would this be a step to something that might make him think at the very least? Are there any experiences with anyone that this has happened where that one chance exposure led to something....better?