My sister is an ow.

[Mrsdickinson]

So my sister has been seeing a married man for a year and a half.

 

She is totally "in love", puts seeing him over seeing me or the kids. If we plan anything ithas to be when mm is at work.

 

Mm goes over 3x a week. They have sex, she makes him a coffee, he talks for half an hour, then he leaves.

 

He's never taken her out, brought her things, apart from if she begs for her bday/Xmas, then it's a book or som chocolates.

 

His bs lives in there home with there 3 daughters (older 11yr +).

He says that he can't leave wife because he can't afford too, she believes him. Kids don't know, nor wife, although sister thinks she does. She doesn't hide the fact she's sleeping with mm.

 

I'm so fed up of hearing about him. She even signs birthday cards ect with loe sister & mm.

 

What do you think? He honestly does nothing for her!

[Speakingofwhich]

He is filling an emotional void for her and is validating her in ways. So, he is giving her some things.

 

However, he's also stealing from her, though she/he may not realize it.

 

One day she'll probably realize that their relationship is "in the red." Since he will have taken way more from her than he's given her.

 

It must be hard for you to watch her hurting herself in this way. But, it's great that she has your support. Yes, having a relationship with you is a support for her even though you don't approve of the relationship she has with him.

 

There will most likely come a time when the two of them will go their separate ways and you will help her through that. She's so lucky to have you and to be able to be honest with you.

[C00kie]

Well, that's your side of the story, not hers, nor his...so it's difficult to say anything really.

It may look like one thing from the outside, but it's not so easy for the people involved.

It's her life, anyway...all you can do is try to talk it through with her (have you done that?) and see what she has to say - but not in a dismissive way - and take it from there.

[Mrsdickinson]

Well, that's your side of the story, not hers, nor his...so it's difficult to say anything really.

It may look like one thing from the outside, but it's not so easy for the people involved.

It's her life, anyway...all you can do is try to talk it through with her (have you done that?) and see what she has to say - but not in a dismissive way - and take it from there.

 

i think i know my sister. She tells me everything.. and i mean everything, too much sometimes lol.

 

you cant say anything bad to her, she flips her lid. But she said she would give him a year to leave his wife.. she didnt and hes still there. But i mean, when will this end? Hes getting his kicks, he comes moans to her about his life, gets what he wants [and her] then leaves.

 

Its just so sad to see her like this. I mean if he toke her out for a drink/cinema anything, i would completely think diffrently to him.

 

But its like if i go round and sit on a chair, she tells me i will have to move soon, as thats "mm chair" and only he can sit there.

[Speakingofwhich]

But its like if i go round and sit on a chair, she tells me i will have to move soon, as thats "mm chair" and only he can sit there.

 

LOL! I can totally identify with this! An OW often (not always!) organizes her world around the brief time she spends with MM.

 

She'll get sick of living like this at some point, IMO. It gets old.

[Artie Lang]

your sister sounds like a total psycho..... Glenn Close status. she's gonna go nuts when this guy finally breaks it off with her.

 

to all involved- "Be afraid..... be very afraid."

[Speakingofwhich]

your sister sounds like a total psycho..... Glenn Close status. she's gonna go nuts when this guy finally breaks it off with her.

 

to all involved- "Be afraid..... be very afraid."

 

Thought the chair thing was a joke????

[Artie Lang]

no joke here.

 

this woman signs b-day cards with her and OM as a couple. how creepy is that? this has bunny-boiler written all over it.

 

 

i'd worry about this d0uchebag's wife and family after all is said and done.

[IfWishesWereHorses]

Sorry to hear about your sister. That really has to hurt to watch her take crumbs from this man. Do you know what makes her believe she doesn't deserve better? Is she completely happy, or does it get to her at times?

 

Maybe since she believes the wife knows you could convince her to have a chat with the wife. Would she entertain the idea of being set up with a single guy?

[bentleychic]

It sounds like she's way more in to him than her...which seems to be normal with us OW.

 

You also sound a bit jealous of the time and attention that she gives/pays to him, tbh. I would say that whether he was a MM or not, by the way.

[Mrsdickinson]

It sounds like she's way more in to him than her...which seems to be normal with us OW.

 

You also sound a bit jealous of the time and attention that she gives/pays to him, tbh. I would say that whether he was a MM or not, by the way.

 

Phahahaha not jealous at all! I have my own life, just got married, and two young kids keeping me young. I'm more pissed off then jealous.

 

 

Bit of background, she has a daughter, and has refused men in her daughters life, so has been single since her dad, 10 years ago.

 

She has no confidence at all. He gave her £20 when he first started seeing her to buy some underwear. She brought some, dressed up, and he laughed at her.

She said she will never do it again

[Radu]

I kinda agree with Artie ...

 

OP, do your kids know of what she does ?

Are they old enough to understand ?

 

I'm worried about life examples.

[MissBee]

So my sister has been seeing a married man for a year and a half.

 

She is totally "in love", puts seeing him over seeing me or the kids. If we plan anything ithas to be when mm is at work.

 

Mm goes over 3x a week. They have sex, she makes him a coffee, he talks for half an hour, then he leaves.

 

He's never taken her out, brought her things, apart from if she begs for her bday/Xmas, then it's a book or som chocolates.

 

His bs lives in there home with there 3 daughters (older 11yr +).

He says that he can't leave wife because he can't afford too, she believes him. Kids don't know, nor wife, although sister thinks she does. She doesn't hide the fact she's sleeping with mm.

 

I'm so fed up of hearing about him. She even signs birthday cards ect with loe sister & mm.

 

What do you think? He honestly does nothing for her!

 

Umm...she signs cards from her and him?? Wow.

 

Have you met him?

 

Well unfortunately, your sister needs this relationship for some reason it seems, and is behaving in a delusional way. I don't think appealing to common sense and the facts: he never takes her out, he comes over for sex, coffee and therapy, she has to beg him for gifts, he says he can't leave etc, will help her. It's difficult to see the people we care about accept so little and it's hard not to want to slap sense into them, but we can't really do much to force them to come to their senses. But it doesn't hurt to gently point things out every time she talks about him.

[Mrsdickinson]

Yes iv met him, not keen at all. My kids are sometimes at her house when he turns up, he lives round the corner from her.

 

My kids just think it's her boyfriend. Her daughter has met him, and knows he has a wife. Actually her daughter is friends with his duaghter.

[Calcmag]

 

Phahahaha not jealous at all! I have my own life, just got married, and two young kids keeping me young. I'm more pissed off then jealous.

 

 

 

But you've posted previously about your husband saying that you're lazy and a separate thread where you are complaining about lack of sex. That's not the way it should be when you've just got married.

Perhaps you are a little jealous that you feel you've lost precious time with your sister. With the issues you have already in your new marriage, I'd think you'd be wanting her support as you two are so close.

 

As for your sister's relationship with MM, it sounds like he treats it like a FB situation, your sister meanwhile thinks it's a relationship.

[Pastypop]

Do you or your husband know any nice single guys you could set her up with? Have you thought about approaching him and threaten to tell his wife if he doesn't disappear? Also, tell him if your sister finds out about the conversion, you will also tell his wife and employer. Maybe this will get him to move on to the next one. How did he end up with your sister?