He slept with her in our bed while I was sleeping!!

[akgirltx]

Hello.

I am new here, so bear with me, please.

 

I will start by telling you that my boyfriend and I are going on close to 5 years together. Well, about a year and a half ago, he cheated on me. Not once, twice, or even three times (in front of me), but 5 times!!! When I say in front of me, let me explain the one situation that bothered me the most, and still does. This was the third or fourth time this happened (almost all identical situations).

 

We had a small party at our place (15 or so people over) and one of them was his supervisor at work. She was (is) married, with a child, whose husband was gone away for a year or so, so both of their excuses was that she was feeling lonely, and they just became best friends right off the bat. Well, at this party, I went to bed before he did, which didn't bother me. When I woke up the next morning, before anybody else, He was laying next to me in bed, naked, and I was not. On the other side of him was her, in just her panties. I kinda became "hot" right away, but have always thought, 'kill 'em with kindness.' So I got up to go make some coffee, and let everybody else continue sleeping. (Nobody else was in our bedroom except for us three.)

 

About 10 minutes after getting out of bed, I heard voices in the bedroom, so I went in, naturally. She was laying there, facing him, leaning on him, still same clothes (or lack of) and his arm was under her neck/around her shoulders. This is something in the years that we have been together that he hates because it makes his arm fall asleep. I think that is one of the reasons it bothers me so much. So I said good morning to them, trying to hide the anger and disgust, and went to give him a hug and kiss. He kinda pulled away a little, which was very abnormal. He then asked me what was for breakfast and I said that we only had like 3 eggs. So he asked me to run up to the store. I did, was gone for about 15 minutes, came back, and she was fresh out of the shower (in a towel), and he was in the shower. I asked, and they both said nothing had happened (again).

 

About 7 months later, he finally confessed to the whole situation, the entire affair. How it started because she was lonely, and I had long work hours ( I was in the military, 14-16 hour days). That one particular night they had sex next to me in my own bed, while I was sleeping. As well as the next morning, in bed, moving to the shower when I went up to the store for breakfast. We have talked about this immensely, adn had a few close-call breakups and every other kind of fight and mis-trust issue about her. I feel like I trust him now, we have since moved to another state, have completely different types of friends, etc. But just that one night really upsets me. It just disgusts me to the point where I don't talk to him or sleep in the same bed for days at a time. It isn't about trust anymore, its just the disgust and how I feel so sick when I think about it. I mean, in MY OWN BED, NEXT TO ME?!?!?! How much worse can a person really get?!

 

So my question that I am looking to get answered or help with, is how do I get over this? We have talked about this MANY times, and I feel like I am over it, it's just that one instance with her, so now what can I do to get over this, completely?

 

I feel like I should be over this, and I don't really know how to explain that I am, it's just the natius (spelling?) feeling I get and disgust when I think of that one instance. What kind of advice do you have for me to really let it go and try (better) to forget about it? We have moved on, and I know it wont happen again. I feel like I can't say it enough, it's just that one instance of seeing the two of them like that. How do you think I can be done with this? I don't think there is anything that has been left unsaid between the two of us, and this is honestly the only reason that there is no marriage between us.

[Barby]

I'm just shocked that you'd feel the need to stay with someone who clearly has absolutely no respect for you or himself for that matter.

 

he cheated on me. Not once, twice, or even three times (in front of me), but 5 times!!! When I say in front of me, let me explain the one situation that bothered me the most, and still does. This was the third or fourth time this happened (almost all identical situations).

 

Re-read this, it's just sick! What does he have over you that you feel you deserve this type of treatment? By not booting (maybe not the 1st time) but 2nd...then 3rd and on and on, you've let him know that this is behavior that you'll tolerate. You've allowed it so he assumes it's something you'll eventually get over and he'll be able to continue to do what he pleases.

 

Are you so co-dependent that you'd rather be with "someone" who constantly cheats on you, and dis-respects you and probably isn't be careful if he's might be "catching" something and passing it on to you....than be alone for awhile until you meet someone who'll know how to love you and make you a priority of him getting his rocks off with whoever will have him???

[tiki]

Why in God's name are you still with this man? Run as fast as you can!

[JoL]

...you woke up next to them both and they were naked/semi-clothed...and you didn't click and kick both their sorry asses out of the house then and there?!? How could you be so calm and not realise at that point?! you must have been living in some seriousl dellusional denial...come on!!!!

 

You shouldnt even need a confession from him! Seeing that would be bad enough!

 

What kind of sicko has sex with another woman next to his girlfriend while she sleeps?

 

I'm sorry to say, but if you stay in this relationship, i wouldn't be shocked if he did it again. In fact, i expect he would.

 

If he can be forgiven for doing something so low down and dirty as having sex next to his sleeping girlfrend, darling, who KNOWS what other low levels this man will go to.

 

 

Leave him, leave him now. You are DAMN RIGHT for never getting over the situation, he doesnt deserve it!!!

But if you stay, i dont think anyone will feel sorry for you if he does it to you again, because after what he did i dont think anyone can believe you're forgiving his slutty, irresponsible, disgusting behaviour.

[Pocky]

Why do you stay in this relationship? What do you gain from it?

[GiveAndTake]

She was laying there, facing him, leaning on him, still same clothes (or lack of) and his arm was under her neck/around her shoulders.

 

So I said good morning to them, trying to hide the anger and disgust, and went to give him a hug and kiss. He kinda pulled away a little, which was very abnormal.

 

What was abnormal was you trying to give him a hug and kiss!!!

 

So he asked me to run up to the store. I did, was gone for about 15 minutes

 

THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE TO ME!!!

 

 

You should have come back with 2 very strong men and had them remove your 'bf' and his little ho!

[Bryanp]

Hello,

 

Your story is so sad. This has got to be the ultimate in disrespect

and humiliation to you. What a total bastard. I would kick him out and

immediately inform the OW's husband if you can. She and your husband

have totally **** on you, your marriage and your marriage bed. What

a horrible story. You deserve better than this.

[Merin]

 

What?! I can tell you straight up I wouldn't be over it ever!!! He slept with this girl, then you made him breakfast, and went to the store while Miss Thang was in your shower?! Noooooo!!!!

 

This was more than a little mistake or a case of bad judgement.. this IMHO is completely unforgivable.

[tokyo]

akgirltx,

 

You must be an incredible sweet and insecure person to let him do something like this and forgive him. I really think this is not forgivable. He may not be a bad person or whatever, etc., etc., but for you he is, because he clearly showed you a lack of disrespect. I think you will not find any single person here on this forum who would respect a guy sleeping with another woman with his girlfriend next to him and does it AGAIN after you have woken up. Sweetie, this is so low, leave him immediately. This may not be what you wanted to hear, but I don´t think there´s anything you can do to get over it, neither should you try to get over it. Leave him and move on. Find someone who gives you a little bit of respect that you deserve. It makes my hear ache to see someone step like this on a person who loves him.

 

Wishing you the best,

kooky

[bluechocolate]

Now there's a title that grabs your interest !!

-----------------------------

 

It sounds like you two either had some very open parameters in your relationship or this guy had zero respect for you. Which one is it?

 

If he had such little respect for you in the past what has he done to show you that he's sorry & that his attitude has changed?

 

It's your decision to forgive this & move on, but if you're full of doubts & disgust I don't think you're as "over" it as you claim to be.

 

Maybe you two should seperate for a while.

[Naive]

OMG!!! You have to be crazy to stay with this "man", he can't even be called that! If you truly love yourself and respect yourself leave this man. Before you can love anyone you have to love yourself first.

[Nocturnalkitee]

Everyone on this post said what I was thinking. I just wanted to put my 2 cents in and say OMG!!!! Why are you still there???

[savethedrama4allama]

I almost don't believe this is real, it is so nasty. This guy has serious problems. Cut your losses!

[onlyhuman]

I had to read this twice, it just didn't compute the first time.

This is one of the saddest stories I have heard, how anyone could be so cruel and disrespectfull is beyond me.

Akgirltx!!!I could not imagine being treated that badly.Please leave,please get out!!!

This is one of those stories if you went into the kitchen and came back with a frying pan and beat him severly no one would even blink.

[tokyo]

Originally posted by onlyhuman

This is one of those stories if you went into the kitchen and came back with a frying pan and beat him severly no one would even blink.

 

Exactly! People would even applaud (I would )

[Nocturnalkitee]

Originally posted by akgirltx

Hello.

I am new here, so bear with me, please.

 

I will start by telling you that my boyfriend and I are going on close to 5 years together. Well, about a year and a half ago, he cheated on me. Not once, twice, or even three times (in front of me), but 5 times!!! When I say in front of me, let me explain the one situation that bothered me the most, and still does. This was the third or fourth time this happened (almost all identical situations).

 

What does this person contribute to the relationship to make you want to stay with him?

[SoleMate]

I feel like I am over it, it's just that one instance with her, so now what can I do to get over this, completely?

I know it was a year and a half ago...but STILL!! Like everyone else has said...this takes the cake. You can't get over this? Well, none of us can get over it either! Unless your bf has been totally crawling over broken beer bottles and answering all your questions fully, proactively doing everything humanly possible to regain your trust, I would have to say, "Hasta la vista, baby." Even most really hardened cheaters could not go this far! And for you to cook them breakfast, and run to the store while they were going at it.....UUUGGGGGHHHHH!!!

 

I don't think there is anything that has been left unsaid between the two of us

Really? You mean he told you what was going through his head while he was preparing to boff the bimbo in your bed? Then by all means do share, cuz I know it will be good.

 

...this is honestly the only reason that there is no marriage between us...

A man who could do this...could do almost anything. IMO. Your choice as to what you will put up with.

[bnakach]

Girl how do you deal with it? Me, with just the thought and the signs of my boyfriend cheating hurts me a lot. I don't think I would forgive that at all. I think most of all we get used to people, and it makes it hard to leave them because you can't imagine your life without this person. Tell me, I strongly suspect of my boy friend cheating on me, if you read my thread you'll see why I say that. But I mean if your boyfriend, who you say that loves you and cares for you will disrespect you like that in your own house, your own bed, what makes you think it's not easier for him to cheat with any girl out there. I mean he obviously know's he'll be getting away with it, and that is why he's done this more than once. I know exactly how you feel, just the thought of cheating hurts how can this person who you love and respect treat you this way. Why? Yeah, that's exactly what I ask my self. I think you deserve better, what more proof do you need than what you've already seen with your own eyes. I wish you the best, let me know how things are going.

 

B.

[WomanOfStrength]

OH my gawddd, gurllll!!! You need to dump his arse! Refuse to be treated as a doormat and learn to stand up for yourself and what you believe in. You don't need him. If he loses you, it's his loss, not yours. You lose him and you have everything else to gain, girl! Good luck!

[SadAndLonely]

OMG...

 

If I ever woke up with my boyfriend naked and some slut next to him mostly naked, I would have to decide who was going to die first.

 

Make breakfast?? Sure, honey, let me just go get the frying pan...

 

My God. Unbelievable. Oh, when I was done beaning him with the heavy iron skillet I would calmly walk over to the shower with a turned-on hair dryer and try to electrocute the bitch.

 

Don't take this crap. Please.

[tokyo]

Originally posted by SadAndLonely

If I ever woke up with my boyfriend naked and some slut next to him mostly naked, I would have to decide who was going to die first.

 

Hahahahahaha, this thread indeed does inspire people

[on the edge]

omg!!! run like the freakin' wind and don't look back!! surely you don't want to continue in this "jerry springer" drama!!! there is definitely, without question, a way better life out there for you. dump his sorry ass and live life like your supposed to!

[opaleye]

Let me ask you a question, if your best friend/sister/daughter came to you and said that her boyfriend had cheated on her with some girl while she was sleeping next to him AND that he did it again and again and again and asked you what she should do what would you tell her?

 

I know that if it was my best friend I would tell her to respect herself more and save herself from this man. I would say that she deserves better and should get rid of the guy and get herself out there and find another guy who will love her the way she is meant to be loved.

 

What would you say to her?

[tokyo]

akgirltx, did you throw him out finally??? I´m sure everybody here is pretty curious about this

[ziggue]

Man. I can't believe that you let him get away with this the first time. . . I agree. You must be in some serious denial. This didn't sound like an open relationship from reading your post.

 

What kind of girl sleeps with a guy with another girl in the bed anyway? The girl he had an affair with must be very kinky. . Lol. Or was really out of it that night. . Still that's no excuse. .

 

You must be a very deep sleeper. Not waking up to them getting busy right next to you.

 

I wouldn't have waited 7 months to hear a confession out of him. That day. I would've been in total shock. I would've made breakfast for him to make him think none the wiser (if I was up to doing that) and then throw it all over the both of them confronting them about their deceit. Then I would've run out and never looked back.