reddragon588 Posted August 12, 2013 Share Posted August 12, 2013 (edited) 5. If you have contact with your ex BY YOUR DOING..YOU MUST POST WHY YOU DID IT AND HOW YOU FEEL RIGHT AFTER. No exceptions I broke. I checked her Facebook just now. I had deactivated Facebook but logged back in. I had been fighting doing it all day but I broke just now. I didn't like or comment or anything but I still feel as heartbroken as I did before. But I do feel a bit happier having seen her face, which I don't think is a good thing. I see that she has been partying hard and getting incredibly drunk (she had pictures up partying last night with some of our friends in which she said "I woke up on the floor this morning" and another captioned "Last thing I remember"). That did make me realize that she valued being a party girl more than she valued being in a relationship with me. She would rather get really drunk than be with me (and this likely includes random hook ups). It's a bit unattractive to see her acting like a college freshman all over again. Back to Day 1... EDIT: 15 minutes later, now I'm starting to feel like I did on Day 1 of the breakup, let alone Day 1 on NC. Ugh. Edited August 12, 2013 by reddragon588 Link to post Share on other sites
Ireallydontknow Posted August 12, 2013 Share Posted August 12, 2013 I'm on day 2 of NC. I did have to call her today to get some stuff back from her place before I move. That doesn't count right? I was also calling to let her know I'd be there and to not be there when I get there. She was asleep when I called -.- She's was always sleeping when we were together. Today was harsh. I woke up missing her. I cried a bit. It took me awhile to get into the swing of things. I finally put some music on and starting playing some magic the gathering online(Sometimes my ex hated me playing!) It's harsh but I just miss my friend. Link to post Share on other sites
reddragon588 Posted August 13, 2013 Share Posted August 13, 2013 Really struggling today. I've broken NC by re-activating my Facebook and checking her profile. I'm also using every bone in my body to not break it further by texting her Happy Birthday. I believe I'm strong enough to not do it, but it's been hard. Does anyone have tips for when you feel like breaking NC to not do it? Maybe 10 deep breaths or something simple or do you just have to go with willpower? Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted August 13, 2013 Share Posted August 13, 2013 I broke. I checked her Facebook just now. I had deactivated Facebook but logged back in. I had been fighting doing it all day but I broke just now. I didn't like or comment or anything but I still feel as heartbroken as I did before. But I do feel a bit happier having seen her face, which I don't think is a good thing. I see that she has been partying hard and getting incredibly drunk (she had pictures up partying last night with some of our friends in which she said "I woke up on the floor this morning" and another captioned "Last thing I remember"). That did make me realize that she valued being a party girl more than she valued being in a relationship with me. She would rather get really drunk than be with me (and this likely includes random hook ups). It's a bit unattractive to see her acting like a college freshman all over again. Back to Day 1... EDIT: 15 minutes later, now I'm starting to feel like I did on Day 1 of the breakup, let alone Day 1 on NC. Ugh. And that's usually the case and round and round it goes. Dust yourself off man and get back on that saddle, we all break NC at some point, learn from it and push forward. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Talulah Posted August 13, 2013 Author Share Posted August 13, 2013 Really struggling today. I've broken NC by re-activating my Facebook and checking her profile. I'm also using every bone in my body to not break it further by texting her Happy Birthday. I believe I'm strong enough to not do it, but it's been hard. Does anyone have tips for when you feel like breaking NC to not do it? Maybe 10 deep breaths or something simple or do you just have to go with willpower? What really helps me not break NC is that 'if they break up with you, they should contact you first.' And also it's a pride thing. I've always gone NC, and my exes contact me later. I wish I would be more forgetful of dates such as exes birthdays :/ 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ireallydontknow Posted August 13, 2013 Share Posted August 13, 2013 3rd day of NC except she did call to sort out moving stuff. I was hurt hearing her voice but it didn't set me back I think. It's still really hard. A thunderstorm woke me up today. I remember the days when we would get woken up like that. Look at each other, smile, and then cuddle under the blanket. I woke up on a couch, alone. I kept thinking about it. I kept thinking about how she might be doing the same thing with her new boyfriend. It hurt, it was hard getting over. I'm not sure what to think. I also went on dating profiles today. I couldn't find any of the girls attractive. Are my ex goggles still on too tight? When I was with her I could find girls attractive. Now that she is away I keep thinking she is perfect, perfect face, body, curves. It's killing me because I think I'll never find that girl that can hold my attraction like she did for 5 years :/ Link to post Share on other sites
Tropi_cali510 Posted August 13, 2013 Share Posted August 13, 2013 She contacted me on fb like 2 nights ago saying she finally read my messages I went bad on her and shes sorry so I guess I'm on day 2 no contact is so hard, blocked her from fb, deleted her number a week in a half ago. Time to to this for myself. Better myself, if she isn't the one I well, I got a life to live and thankful for alot. So here it goes no contact... Link to post Share on other sites
Tropi_cali510 Posted August 13, 2013 Share Posted August 13, 2013 Fml so after trying to go no contact she texted me saying why did I deactivate my fb and why message her and she can't even respond. And I texted back saying if you got something to say about my message call me if not then whatever! Fml why did I text her back I was feeling so good without thinking texting missing her and all of a sudden she text me outta no where! Girls play way too many games Link to post Share on other sites
Legatus Posted August 13, 2013 Share Posted August 13, 2013 What really helps me not break NC is that 'if they break up with you, they should contact you first.' And also it's a pride thing. I've always gone NC, and my exes contact me later. I wish I would be more forgetful of dates such as exes birthdays :/ I wonder if my ex will remember about mi birthday in two days. I guess her pride after last time no-response conversation was as high as it could be, so probably not. But you're absolutely right, they broke up, they should contact you first. Problem is, they often contact you from selfish reasons, and personally I think it's too much risk to try and find out, do you? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tropi_cali510 Posted August 13, 2013 Share Posted August 13, 2013 so pretty much i feel like this girl mind ****ed me when she texted me saying how does she respond to my message if i deactivate my fb and blocked her( don't think she knows this). Now i cant get her off my mind, i should have never responded to her text i was feeling so good before not talking to her so here goes no contact again day 1 Link to post Share on other sites
reddragon588 Posted August 13, 2013 Share Posted August 13, 2013 I finally did it. I unfollowed her on Instagram and Twitter this morning. I woke up to pictures of her celebrating her birthday at this club we used to go to and couldn't take it anymore. Yesterday was one of the worst days of my recovery and I had a nightmare the night before her birthday and dreamed about reconciliation all last night. I woke up this morning thinking we were back together that's how real the dream was. Then I saw her post and had to do it. I unfollowed her and all her friends. I haven't deleted her on Facebook but that's because I deactivated my own Facebook. Hopefully this is a step forward because I need to start moving forward. I don't deserve to be this hurt and I can only start moving forward when I start taking the hard steps like the one I just did. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Talulah Posted August 13, 2013 Author Share Posted August 13, 2013 I wonder if my ex will remember about mi birthday in two days. I guess her pride after last time no-response conversation was as high as it could be, so probably not. But you're absolutely right, they broke up, they should contact you first. Problem is, they often contact you from selfish reasons, and personally I think it's too much risk to try and find out, do you? My ex contacted me because he wantedto know how I was. He told me a bit about his vacation. I ended the conversation first because it was hard. He started to call me babe. Well, the feelings were still there. He wanted space to take a new course and to travel, so I gave it to him. The way I look at it, maybe they are also trying to get over you. But I don't want to find out myself. I still care too much. I feel like I'm still crazy in love with him. But I don't want to find out hard way. Reverse psychology works wonders. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Legatus Posted August 13, 2013 Share Posted August 13, 2013 It could as well be they are trying to get over us, but in my case my ex got over me even before she ended things. She was very clever, waiting for any mistake from my part to blow it out of the proportion, add some things, and cheat/leave et cetera. I asked her whether she wanted to be with me. She could say no and we would part as normal human being, but she chose to lie (for my protection haha!) Then I tried to be normal, polite, and what have I learnt? It was a mistake. I should have stopped contacting her straight away. I couldn't because she still had my house keys so there was an obstacle. But I think they don't deserve to get it so easy to get over us. They decided to leave us. I understand if someone communicates and says the feelings fade away, they try to bring the magic back and they fail but still "like" each other. Then mutual closure is acceptable. It would allow two people simultaneously and gradually get over each other. But I guess that's rare. It's good you ended the conversation. Calling you babe? What the heck?! I am a strong believer that you have to be at least 51% detached from the other person to talk to them. Then you're getting back to the bright side... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Hoaks Posted August 13, 2013 Share Posted August 13, 2013 5 and a half weeks, or 6 and a half, can't remember anymore. I have not heard from her, and I miss her so much. Not getting any easier for me This sucks so much, I hate it. Link to post Share on other sites
RoxyGirl537 Posted August 13, 2013 Share Posted August 13, 2013 I'm so happy I found this forum. My ex and I have been on and off for so long now. We brought out the worst in each other. A couple days ago we got into the worst fight we've ever had. I hated him for 3 days, and yesterday went out got drunk and stupidly texted him. I became that emotional drunk. Really sad, really missed him in those moments. On impulse I texted him apologizing for what I had said to him during our fight. I'm scared he feels hatred for me and I haven't been able to stop crying all day. Today is the first time I've cried since our fight. I think it might really be over this time. He didn't respond to my text and that's what hurt me more than anything. He's normally the one contacting me, and I haven't heard from him in days. I guess what I said really got to him. I'm going to try this 60 day no contact thing. I'm feeling pretty low and pessimistic right now but there is nothing I can do. So as of now, it's my first day of NC. Link to post Share on other sites
Tropi_cali510 Posted August 13, 2013 Share Posted August 13, 2013 Ever since this girl text me last night I can't get her off my mind this **** sucks. I'm working, exercising and eating healthy I guess it just takes time but damn girls play too many games Link to post Share on other sites
RoxyGirl537 Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 Day 3 NC and I feel awesome. when I sit there and let myself think of him I miss him but today I made the effort to keep myself busy. Saw a friend, got a haircut---there's something very therapeutic about cutting your hair after a break up-- and went on a very long run. It is amazing how much running improves your mood when you're down. I really recommend it. Today is the first time I've been genuinely happy since we broke up last Friday. Things are looking up. Link to post Share on other sites
Tropi_cali510 Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 No contact might be hard and stuff but it's better for me. I feel better, u don't have to hear negative bull**** from a female telling me what I did wrong or why she needs space, in realizing ill learn from my mistakes and move on, it might take time, yeah I do think about her but who doesn't after 3 months of everyday contact and sexual encounters.. But I'm not trippin, I'm bettering myself, fixing my car I crashed going to see the chick and in working so many hours ima be rich when in 25 lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Lovesick ow Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 My bf broke up with me 3 days ago and we have not had contact since. We had a rocky but passionate 1.5 yr relationship....but I think he had reached his limit with our last argument. He could never admit his wrongs. I was willing to work and change for us but he gave up...said he didn't see a future for us. Hurt like hell to hear that. Hurt that he didn't love me enough to try and make it work. I've gotten rid of everything that could remind me of him. I've filed away pics, thrown away his toothbrush, the cards and notes... He lives a block down from me and I'm avoiding the spots we frequented...even the local grocery store for the time being. I'm throwing myself into activities and have been hitting the gym hard. I just want to erase him from my mind and heart as fast as possible bc this hurts too much. He walked away from me. I'll never contact him again. Link to post Share on other sites
Brokenheart25 Posted August 17, 2013 Share Posted August 17, 2013 Today marks 30 days NC for me. I must admit it gets easier as the days go by. There are times when you feel so sad, but they become less frequent. My ex broke up with me because she was not over her previous ex and loved him the most. We were together for almost 9 months and I truly loved her with all my heart. I was devastated. But getting better. She has not contacted me since my NC either. I am half way there in the 60 days NC challenge. I have just been focusing on myself. Been hitting the gym hard, bought new clothes etc. For all of those struggling, keep your head held high. It may be tough right now, but it will get better with time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Kimmie80 Posted August 17, 2013 Share Posted August 17, 2013 Today marks my 30 days Still feeling crappy, but really working on myself right now. Forums like these is what keeps me grounded. I am very thankful that I have found this site! It really helps to read stories from other people who are going through the same thing. Makes me feel like Im not so alone. Or crazy lol. The relationship ended due to my insecurities and low self-esteem. He walked. I will never forgive myself completely. I am really looking forward to the day when I wake up and no longer run for the computer to check for an email or my cell to check for a text message or missed call. And it sucks sitting here, everyday, constantly in tears and searching for answers on why, will he forgive me, and will he be back. Especially when there is a high chance that he is living life and may not even think of me. But what can I do. Just have to keep moving forward. It will be a long road, but there has to be light at the end eventually. Good job to everyone who is still moving forward! Cheers to another 30 days Link to post Share on other sites
Ireallydontknow Posted August 17, 2013 Share Posted August 17, 2013 Today is officially one week NC. It still hurts like hell. All I want to do is talk to her. I keep thinking I don't care if she is with someone else, I just want my friend back! It cannot be, it just can't. I was even just daydreaming about her earlier, telling me she misses me and that the other guy was a mistake, me driving down to see her and cuddling all night like it never happened. *sigh* Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted August 17, 2013 Share Posted August 17, 2013 (edited) I got you all beat by about three years Edited August 17, 2013 by skydiveaddict Link to post Share on other sites
templeofmax Posted August 17, 2013 Share Posted August 17, 2013 59 DAYS!!!!!!!! Now what? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tropi_cali510 Posted August 17, 2013 Share Posted August 17, 2013 dan it probably hasnt been a week, im feeling a whole lot better, stronger, learning from mistakes, but i woke up today missing this girl like i never have before i just want her back holy ****. I dont have her number and i can only contact her threw fb but i deactivated it along time ago, so i guess ill just stay no contact, hopefully shell contact me one day in the future, Link to post Share on other sites
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