Gauranga Posted September 4, 2013 Share Posted September 4, 2013 So it's been 5 days no contact, and damn she just contacted me. She asked what I was doing and then a bit later she texted me she was horny... It's taking every bit of will power not to respond to this... Part of me wants to dive right in, but I know in the end it's not going to work out and I'll have to start over. ****, how is she even in the mood we haven't talked since a big fight. Anybody? Link to post Share on other sites
B1989 Posted September 4, 2013 Share Posted September 4, 2013 At 45 days now and it still is a struggle. I wish everyone luck as well. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gauranga Posted September 4, 2013 Share Posted September 4, 2013 At 45 days now and it still is a struggle. I wish everyone luck as well. That's awesome, 45 days takes some strong will! I hear it is still difficult for you to maintain no contact. As much as you want to reach out it will only reset the pain.. Be strong! Link to post Share on other sites
the tank Posted September 4, 2013 Share Posted September 4, 2013 It's been one day since we started . I just want to have news from her like an addict . I have no longer her on facebook. She lied to me and i feel hurt. Something emotion are strange. Link to post Share on other sites
thora-tiki Posted September 4, 2013 Share Posted September 4, 2013 Fu*k the ex if they don't want us, there are plenty of others that do, and when we don't care about getting the ex back, the ex will want us back... but will we want the ex? We are here to get better and we will... And if the ex-hole plagues our thoughts constantly, we just have to make new memories to make the old ones fade a bit. This is usually when the ex comes sniffing around and wants to come back, but then we'll be like: «What? Why would I want to do that; I'm really happy now and you've been nothing but mean to me. Why would I allow a mean person to have access to me?». Unless the exes change too, it seems difficult to get back together. The reason we still have all these feelings (positive, negative, our mind is going in circles, not forward, etc.), is because we still need to evolve. Work on YOU for the next months, maybe 4-6 months, and see how you feel by then. A lot can happen in that time. Don't just go 30 or 60 days, we all know that this takes longer than 30 or 60 days. The 30 or 60 days is merely a bench mark and from what I have seen, the forums/sites/books should say longer. The 30 or 60 days gives ex a chance to breathe, but for us it is just the beginning. I didn't even begin to calm down, or stop suddenly start crying, until maybe after 4 months time. I really think the books would better serve us if they said 90 days or 180 days - just my opinion because it would allow us to work through the all the stages of grief. I am over 9 months of no contact (in days: 281). Woooo-hoooooooo! Yeah, baby! Aha! In that time I have taken classes, still do (French), working out, I am in great shape!, laughing, crying, understanding what and why it happened, talking with friends, going out, having fun, supporting my break up buddies, supporting other forum members, focusing on my work and myself. We can do this! We win in the end regardless of whether we are with our ex or not. We win because we have our life back. As it happens, a lot of exes are attracted to someone who has their life back and generally they come sniffing around too. At that point it is our choice whether to accept them into our new life or not. Hah! The no contact is pretty simple - it's people who make it complicated. From Kung Fu Panda: Mr. Ping: «We are noodle folk. Broth runs through our veins.» Have a great week my fellow no contact warriors! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
PootieMandela Posted September 4, 2013 Share Posted September 4, 2013 Day 25. Haven't broken NC once. Received texts, emails, tweets (even though i blocked her and set my profile to private) and haven't responded once. There's still this sinking feeling I get each time she tries to contact me, but I know its best to just do nothing. I delete the texts immediately after getting them because I don't want to have her phone number. Emails get deleted. No social media contact is helping. Does using somebody's Netflix account count as breaking NC? She doesn't use it and she did cheat on me. Still feels like a bit of a dick move, but I need to catch up on Breaking Bad. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
B1989 Posted September 4, 2013 Share Posted September 4, 2013 (edited) Day 25. Haven't broken NC once. Received texts, emails, tweets (even though i blocked her and set my profile to private) and haven't responded once. There's still this sinking feeling I get each time she tries to contact me, but I know its best to just do nothing. I delete the texts immediately after getting them because I don't want to have her phone number. Emails get deleted. No social media contact is helping. Does using somebody's Netflix account count as breaking NC? She doesn't use it and she did cheat on me. Still feels like a bit of a dick move, but I need to catch up on Breaking Bad. Ill show you a website that my ex showed me. You can stream basically any show, but you have to X out the annoying ads but it works. Google projectfreetv. Edited September 4, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Remove external commercial link. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
livdee Posted September 4, 2013 Share Posted September 4, 2013 I have been reading these boards for the past few days. You guys rock! I think this is just what I need to move forward. Quick background: I have a neighbor that I have been flirting back and forth with for years. Totally innocent. About 4 months ago, he reached out to us for a question and left his cell phone number. He is married and I am married. It all started with an innocent text to answer his question and before I knew it, we were in a full fledged text affair. We did meet up a few quick times when we were both free but mostly it was texting. I fell very hard and very fast. The weirdest thing is, this is not a guy that is my type. I think it must have just been the attention that he gave me. It made me feel alive again. Needless to say, he decided last week that he needed to "do the right thing" and stop contact. He didn't want to hurt his family. I understand that, heck, I never wanted to hurt my family either, I was just too caught up in the fog. What I can't understand is why I can't let this go. How did he become such an obsession? I think about him a lot and have reached out a few times via text, to which he has been polite, but reserved. He says he is happy with his decision. I am ready to move on, but every time I get myself together, I see him. I think of the excitement that we had and I am back to wishing I had it back. How could he turn it all off so easily? I see now that he just used me but for some reason, even that doesn't give me the reason to get over it. Today's text was my last. He has made it clear that he is done. I am going to use these boards to help me stay "clean". It's time to focus on me and my life. Make the most of it and reclaim the happiness I had before that first text months ago. Link to post Share on other sites
Cali408 Posted September 4, 2013 Share Posted September 4, 2013 No contact was broken after 7 days. Not by my doing. She called about something, I told her that she needed to get over me and I need to get over her. She's dating someone, I'm married. I said I wasn't engaging anymore on line and was moving on. She just started dating someone over the last week, but she could be it being "exclusive." I counted 4 red flags that she didn't like about him. I don't feel jealous, it just further pushes me to move on from this emotional train wreck and focus on my wife and family. Day 1 and doing great, and yes she has stalked me today. Link to post Share on other sites
livdee Posted September 5, 2013 Share Posted September 5, 2013 Day 2 of NC. Got pretty shaky a few times today. I came on here and read some of the entries. Knowing others are in the same boat as me helped me resist. I should be able to keep busy tonight so I hope I don't think about it too much. My rubber band is around my wrist. I am snapping it every time I think about him... Onward! We can do this! Link to post Share on other sites
Gauranga Posted September 6, 2013 Share Posted September 6, 2013 I messed up. I contacted her after her roommate was saying all this stuff about if I apologized for what happened the other day she may want to work it out. I bit, she just wanted to yell at me and say it was all my fault. I felt bad about breaking no contact. Not really happy, like I got suckered in. Nothings changed, there is no future between us, just want to get passed this. Overall I know feel like I let myself down. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrfr Posted September 7, 2013 Share Posted September 7, 2013 Day 30 or something like that. Feel great. Not over her but barely think about it and enjoying life. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrfr Posted September 7, 2013 Share Posted September 7, 2013 Day 1 ending and I miss her... I miss the companionship and feeling of intimacy. I know in the end I will realize that it was the idea of what it could be that had me hold on for so long. Heck, I realize it now, I'm just not feeling it right now Your life is going to be awesome again. Don't think about it, just keep NC and you'll get there. Check out my first post and how I am now. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
megababeasaurus Posted September 9, 2013 Share Posted September 9, 2013 b/c it's such an awesome thread! thanks for starting it talulah, awesome idea! I'm on day EIGHT woOoOoo!! Last contact was a drunk text that said "on days like this I come home and think about how much I so badly wanna throw my arms around you and kiss you. And you can act all nonchalant and grown up all you want, I don't care b/c I want you, not need you & that's all that matters to me. Don't even reply back to this cuz it's best for the both of us." I woke up the next day like.. omg I so totally did that didn't I... He did reply. But it was the same answer as it had been when we first broke up which was the.. itsnotyouitsme ineedtobeonmyown type of deal. Super super sad face and I find that Sunday nights are my weakest moments. But other than that I have a great fulfilling week busy with working out, work itself, and achieving my personal goals. But this accountability group will definitely help in getting me that much closer to attaining a self-love so great that I can feel complete & happy again the way I was before we met. So let's stay strong guys!! *flexy face* b/c it's never ok to put someone else on a higher pedestal than ourselves. And that's what we're doing by pining for our exes... stalking them or whatnot.. putting ourselves through pure AGONY in focusing on what we lost rather than what we have to gain. I realize that every minute I spend thinking about him, is a minute I've lost in doing something for myself. And that's not ok!! Anyway, I'll commit to the rules & write here when I think about stalking his social media (my weaaaakneessss). Here's to Day 9 of NC! Link to post Share on other sites
the tank Posted September 9, 2013 Share Posted September 9, 2013 It's been one week since I didnt talk to her and I'm getting better each day. I still ask myself sometime: And if I made a mistake ? Should I take her back ? Can Liar change ? Even if I know the answers of all these questions. But step by step. Link to post Share on other sites
reddragon588 Posted September 9, 2013 Share Posted September 9, 2013 I'm dangerously close to breaking NC I feel like.. I don't even know what is say. I miss having someone to talk about nothing with. Link to post Share on other sites
PootieMandela Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 Day 37. She sent my brother (who I live with) a friend request on Facebook. I'm getting really tired of these frequent attempts to spy on/contact me. It's like she forgot that SHE cheated on me. That SHE kicked me out of the house. That SHE was too much of a coward to tell me the truth. That SHE dragged my name through the dirt, compromised every friend I had mutually with her, while I stayed silent (publicly) and tried to do the mature thing and show a shred of dignity. I really want to tell her to stop trying to contact me. That its not going to work. But that would be me contacting her... so it WOULD be working. I feel like I've made great progress on actually feeling good about myself. But every time she tries to weasel back into my life it just reminds me of the mistake I made putting my trust in her. Which sucks because it affects my ability to move on and ask other girls out or something. 23 more days and I complete the challenge. In that time my goal (besides remaining on strict NC) is to go out on at least 1 date. I'm getting tired of being hung-up on somebody who I'm better off not having in my life. Link to post Share on other sites
Kitchen Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 She just started dating someone over the last week, but she could be it being "exclusive." I counted 4 red flags that she didn't like about him. I don't feel jealous, it just further pushes me to move on from this emotional train wreck and focus on my wife and family. Day 1 and doing great, and yes she has stalked me today. Would you mind sharing those red flags? I think my ex might be in a rebound too so I just want to compare them Link to post Share on other sites
the tank Posted September 19, 2013 Share Posted September 19, 2013 I had to break the NC to tell her that she have a bill to pay. Damm Link to post Share on other sites
Klaatu17 Posted September 19, 2013 Share Posted September 19, 2013 51 days and while it seems slightly better than it was at the beginning there are still days where I really want to text her to see if we could hang out. The thing that stops me is I know it would just be ignored and I would be back to day 1...trying hard for 90 days NC! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PootieMandela Posted October 13, 2013 Share Posted October 13, 2013 I want to apologize first for reviving a very dead thread... ...but I did it. Today was day 62 of NC. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
reddragon588 Posted October 13, 2013 Share Posted October 13, 2013 I want to apologize first for reviving a very dead thread... ...but I did it. Today was day 62 of NC. Congratulations, that is so awesome! Way to go! You're an inspiration to me- I'm only at 46 days, and I've checked her Facebook from a friends account during that time so I don't even know if that counts. But I hope to get to where you are soon! Link to post Share on other sites
Orije Posted October 13, 2013 Share Posted October 13, 2013 Today is day one for me. We had a feud because doesn't want to feel wrong. She is much smarter than i am and attacked my grammar and starting bringing up the past which in later she claimed i was the one with insecurities. My parents and friends said to end it awhile ago and now im listening. I told her if we could put this all behind us and she said we can still be friends, but i wont take up on that offer. So today will start my first day! Goodluck to everyone else Link to post Share on other sites
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