Husband Left Suddenly & it's been pretty bad.

[Misadventure]

Taco time sounds great!! Too bad none of that in Fl.

 

Yeah, I didn't sleep much last night, tossed and turned alot. I work today from home and then going to get that haircut and go to the gym...keep busy.

 

Work is hellacious today...I guess thats good lol, will keep my mind from wandering lol.

[Misadventure]

I am better than I was earlier..at least, I think for a bit... haircut didn't work out as planned...

 

I was realizing that I have been good at trying my best to stay NC. Moments sometimes, especially the 1st month, I remember wanting to dial that number so bad just to hear voicemail.

 

But why?

 

So he can lie to me some more? Give me excuses or try and say how its somehow me... the coldness on our last conversation was a couple weeks ago when he was caught on match (somewhat longtime acct apparently) and my friend humiliated him by reposting his pic and stating, married not divorced...No remorse...just coldness in his voice for being caught!

 

I don't think I can do #33 in the 180.. I don't think I will be able to speak to him in a non-negative way if I see him face to face again anytime soon.

 

I know he knows its been 2 months..another month of him paying the mortgage while I live here lol. But if he actually calls again or shows up asking "so are you even willing to discuss terms or what?" I know what I will say now...

 

"If you wanted amicable you would not have left the way you did. You would not have not communicated, blindsided, and lied to me the way you did. You would not have bee deceitful. You would not have cut me off of our MARITAL account and credit cards. You would not have been repeatedly cruel to me and hurtful. You would not have been effing around, and blatantly either stupid enough or indifferent enough to get caught on dating sites doing it. 'Shy guy looking for someone loyal and honest'...You only like the truth when it fits into the reality you have created for yourself? LOL Please by all means, continue to delude yourself!!! Lawyer up and file already, and get ready to pay, go get that greener grass cause I don't want your two tone D***!!! Lastly, you made me realize never to pick up men at kindercare ever again!!!"

 

 

Ok, I feel better. I DO want to say this and will. I feel like Diego Montoya in A Princess Bride who will keep repeating it to the guy who killed his father lol.

 

And ps- I hope one day he runs into this on LS and sh*ts himself sideways.

[revitup]

I don't know about the sh$%s himself sideways thingy.....that's pretty cruel to wish on him:eek: but if it happens...I hope my STBXWW is standing in close proximity!

 

Hey MsA, You seem to be chipper today.

 

It's okay that he's a foolish man who is lying on match and doing his phony thing.This is actually a blessing for you.You would have a right to feel bad if you were actually losing something by running his azz off ! This way you can run his azz off and KNOW you have only lightened the load and thereby improved yourself.

 

You're gonna look into a man's eyes one day and there will be no doubt he is in total awe of you and you're all that matters to him,his everything! This will be the day you are so very happy you have had the pleasure of kicking the manho outta the house!

 

You're going to be happy long before that as well-happy to just be MsA for a change.No more thinking about what may make stupid unhappy anymore,just what makes MsA happy!

 

If I was a girl (I assure you I am a man) I would go out and get me a hot pink thong! I have been wondering what I would do if I was a girl and this happened to me - so I first thought about how girls can pick up guys so easy,way easier than guys can.

 

Then it hit me, it's really hard to find anyone to trust no matter the gender of the looker.

 

Which in turn brings me to things Rev would do if he was a girl and got hoodwinked by a nasty azz dude (kinda threw up in my mouth a little during this part) and Rev was in need of just feeling better about herself.

 

Rev used to go and get a shave in the barber's chair (like in the movies) and that's cool but not for a girl.That's when it hit me.

 

REV would go and buy all new undies!I mean some crazy leopard banana hammocks- for girls though! Yup nice frilly and lace kinda stuff to just make me feel good about knowing Rev was wearing the silliest and craziest drawers I could get on me and that nobody at work would know but me!

 

I am not joking here-I would do just that and report back to all of you how it went.This could be a new therapy or something here.

 

Or Rev could be just plain full of himself tonight!

 

It is good to feel good MsA- you are coming along at your speed and you too will razz Rev one day soon.

 

REVITUP

Edited September 6, 2013 by revitup
wording

[trippi1432]

MisA - The 180 is not meant to be followed to a "T", it's about what works for your circumstances and is about healing YOU. Please do keep that in mind, its not the Gospel, it's not even logical steps that comes as numerical puzzle pieces to put together. # 33 may be way off in the distance and that's okay.

 

However, if he does one day sh*t himself sideways :D:D Please get pictures.

[trippi1432]

Rev....I'm glad you edited that for "wording".....LMAO!!!

[Misadventure]

Rev, I so adore you LOL. You had me ROLLING!

 

I needed it too, I did end up taking out his clothes (what remained) from the drawers tonight and boxing them. I felt kinda good, but also just sad.

 

Then I came and read my email and saw your post and I swear, you brightened my night!!!!

 

Pink thong Rev!! Vroooom vroom watch out if Rev was a lady.

 

Kidding aside, I got what you are saying and I need to do the 180 on me...I have been doing the NC etc and some other stuff, but the part that focuses on me, I haven't been really doing (Trip, and thx for point out what you did too, just read it). D@mmit, I need new ladywear! Lace preferential.

 

I will report back.^^

 

But really, I think I need to print this out to really remind me... I do want someone who is just in awe...knows what they have..and is on it like white on rice. I am not perfect but I have alot of great traits, and I need to keep remembering that.

 

*hugs* and remember... you so made my night lol.

 

- And yes I will get pics if he ever does that sideways... and on rev's stbx in the process lol.- And btw, its amazing how much I have learned from you all, and how every thing here has helped in their own way and the people here. As rough as this sh*t is sometimes, I am happy that I found this haven and many of you.

Edited September 6, 2013 by Misadventure
Because yoda said there is no try, only Do

[revitup]

trippi- Wording was all I had to go with at the time!

 

MsA- That post shows you're moving into a new area in your journey.Laughing and knowing you're deserving of a better life than a loser who hurt you could ever have given you.... is good stuff.

 

Yes new lady wear that will make you feel much better about yourself.Sometimes we all need to do something unexpected and out of the ordinary in our lives just to see ourselves as being different than the person we became as the result of a hurtful situation.It's exciting to simply plan a little wacky distraction once in a while.

 

Cheered you up? That was the goal! It cheered me up just thinking about me wearing a Hot Pink Thong too! I might just get my leopard out today and sport that bad boy around the farm!

 

Made a lady's night? I haven't heard that in a long time.

Made MsA's night? Priceless:bunny:

 

I don't know what the bunny emoticon means but I just love the emoticons! I hope he is a good thing.

 

Keep us updated and go get you some fun stuff!

 

REVITUP

Edited September 6, 2013 by revitup
to see if trippi is looking

[Grumpybutfun]

Misadventure:

It took me a while to read through your thread, but I have to say...I am proud of you for your strength and courage. It isn't easy to move forward when we are in pain, but you are doing it.

I hope you find peace soon and can sleep an entire night, and get rid of that anxiety feeling. As a man, I always read these posts about men leaving for "greener pastures" and I have to wonder what is lacking in them that they have to go looking for something they already have.

How are you anyway?

Grumps

[Misadventure]

Grumps, thank you for seriously taking the time to go through the long thread, it has been a journey and not even remotely even half there but at least I am not in zombie mode or wanting to cry in my cheerios every minute. What a wonderful comment you made, thank you. It has taken a toll on me for sure...I know I am not as strong (yet) as many of the many wonderful women here but I am just beginning on my path, I think. I think I know my limit on things on what my boundaries and capabilities are for the time being but I am leaving room to grow, make better decisions and become as strong as I need to be to protect myself and future. I don't understand the greener pasture thing either. I give good wife (from Total Recall but it's true, lol). Seriously though, I was devoted to H..didn't always "feel" those butterflies, but it's been 8 yrs, it's about the partnership, the commitment and the deeper love...on my end at least. It does hurt to know he is out there effing around (and has been), and doesn't have a moments thought about our yrs together, or what he did to me.. or even just me in general. But I am making the choice to really move forward, as hard as it is sometimes.

 

How am I? Today, I am good. Today...I did what I should have done weeks ago.. new haircut/style/dye job.. 6 inches cut off (don't take that out of context even though may be tempting)..layered and angle cut, 2 shades of color..I am part Latin so I have Jlo hair now and I have to say..when I went to my friend's gathering tonight, they said I looked hot and completely different. It felt amazing.

 

A friend gave me this martini glass tonight that she received when she and her ex broke up... its a frosted martini glass with pink all over that says "I don't need a man.. I have drinks.. I have chocolate..etc". This was the sweetest gesture and I know it meant the world to her, it was immensely sweet and showed me how much she really just cared.

 

Grumps, I am going to have my down days and I know it.. I am prepared...it sucks..but I also know the pain lasts in pieces and then it passes for a bit. I am scared that I don't know what the future holds now because I really had my future planned with H. But..I think this is a chance to maybe do some things for me. I don't know what that is yet really but maybe I should see. I am sad that there will be a great many things that I won't ever do again with H..but he really just broke us. For awhile he broke me completely. I am putting myself back together though. Seriously, thank you for caring, asking and reading and I hope you come and chat now and again. Wisdom, thoughts, comments and advice here has helped me so much.

 

Keep us updated and go get you some fun stuff!

 

REVITUP

 

 

I did... NOT your pink thong. But lace... I actually threw out some of the stuff H gave me just because I don't see myself wearing it anymore. It felt good, it was buying things to please me.. not him. Not anyone. Just me. It felt good. Kinda weird, I felt lost for a second or two but it passed. Btw Bunny emoticon is a great emote for anything happy or positive.

 

I remember the first night I was alone in my house after my H moved out. I had my stereo blasting and I was dancing in the kitchen while singing to my dogs. "Just the 3 of us....we can make it if we try."....I have 2 Labs

 

Of course the one dog started howling (she does that when I sing) I guess I should take a hint!

 

The point is. I was trying so hard to be happy with what I had, my house, my dogs and a crap ass singing voice

 

Anger is helpful, very helpful just be careful not to become bitter. I've seen bitter and it is a very ugly thing!

 

Gotta love Rev always gives great advice!

 

I think maybe I need to do this.. singing with my doggies. Its ok if you sound bad, doggies love you anyway. I used to be in a band way back when so I am a bit rusty but I bet I can still kick it if I practiced. I know what you are saying.. Just freedom to do what I want.. the single self. Not sure what it is yet really but I have done the whole walking around the house .... (and won't say the rest so won't make Rev or Dan blush lol). I do need to be happy with what I have. I am getting there.

 

Anger I think fills me when I start to get sad and then I remember why I should be effing pissed, but I don't want to be bitter.

 

I did start "talking" to someone briefly over the last few days but I think it's short lived. He is pretty beautiful. He is older (for a change) by a few yrs (he is 38) and in my mind I think he would be a good distraction, just something to feel better and I do like him...we actually have alot in common and get along intellectually, politically, etc.. But..He wants someone he can eventually marry and start a business back up north after he does well down here. I made it clear I was in limbo, didn't know what was going on for the next year really and that I wasn't looking for anything except something casual and also friendship. His texts and cell phone calls kinda stopped for about a day and I heard from him tonight while I was at my friend's gathering..I told him we were playing something called Catan (great game btw especially with drinks) and he knew all about it, excited I was playing and we started talking about it..He asked if he could call me tomorrow.. I said yes but.. I'm not capable of anything right now, even if I genuinely like him. Do I think having a beautiful distraction will help me over this? Umm YES. Is it right? Probably not. How could I invite him to the house ever? Just feels weird. Granted, its a nice thought.

[Grumpybutfun]

Mis:

You really are very aware to realize that this is a journey and you are on a path. Movement is the key here, and you are doing it, forward and onward. Don't let this upheaval take away your sense of yourself, your hopes and dreams, who you inherently are. Bitterness is something that is usually bourne of these situations, and I hope that you won't let it cloud your life. Bitterness hurts you, not him. It doesn't sound as though you are headed that way, but be aware that some downs will make you embrace the negative about life in general. I have seen bitterness in my male friends who have gotten divorced over the years and it diminished their characters and their self-esteem.

My wife's eldest sister had a philanderer for a spouse and when they divorced my wife and she would drink wine and dance all around our house. It was a distraction, I think and a bonding time. She stayed with us at the lake with our goddaughter and all I could think was he gave up so much for so little. The partying, the one night stands and the "single" living was a short lived fantasy. He lost his wife and daughter forever, as my niece will barely talk to him because as she says, "Uncle Grumps, he is just lame tearing apart a family just to try to get his high school days back." Pretty smart teen, huh? Now, he is alone and they have moved on without him and I assure you he feels it acutely and has begged them back. He even went so far to contact my wife, her sister, to try to get her to intervene at one point. I wanted to crack his skull, but my wife just patiently told him that some things that you break can never be repaired. What is the saying, "Trust takes a lifetime to build and a moment to break?" My SIL is beautiful (like her sister) and remarried, and my ex- BIL is alone and balding.

This may not be what you were asking for but I thought I would also offer my thoughts on your friend, the"distraction." You asked if it was right and said, "probably not." But, I don't think this is about right or wrong when you are grieving a marriage, because honestly what does feel right after having your life upturned? Sometimes we do not need a forever, but a just right now with the caveat being that you both know he is your right now. When I was young and single, I was a woman's right now and it was a dynamic and fun experience for both of us. She also had a philandering ex-husband and I was a young college student traveling though Germany, so while we both knew it wasn't a forever thing, it was surely a necessary thing for her. She was honest with me on what she wanted and I still smile when I hear a Deutsch accent. My wife calls me the woman's fait accompli for helping her feel passion and alive again. I think that sums it up pretty well. Your husband has already checked out of your union so all that is left is the paperwork. After all, even if he does beg you back, how can you ever trust him not to be "flaky" and philandering again?

On a lighter note...some things my wife did for my SIL was make her download spa music for relaxing at night, get something called Sleep from Bath & Body Works to spray on her pillow, and start a journal to get it all out. I don't know if that would help you, but since you are having trouble sleeping, just thought it would be worth it to throw out here. My SIL said it helped her a great deal, and my wife is a very intuitive woman.

Hang in there,

Grumps

[Misadventure]

HE FILED.

 

For whatever reason, it didn't show up on Friday in Public records when I looked. But I got the mail from yesterday from a random lawyer asking if I needed to retain a lawyer, from my case number etc.

 

He had filed right after Labor Day. On Tuesday, the 3rd.

 

I am not sure how I feel.

 

- Kind of in shock....sad maybe but not in full force....

 

I think what will be hardest is actually leaving the house. I love this house and now I actually feel like I have been turning it into my own.. not a tomb for what was. I also have to big dogs.. where can I go with my big dogs? My foster I will find a home for. I think now the questions of my future are piling up.

 

It hurts.. what he has done..his leaving and all the ***** he has done and he is.. Grumps, there is no going back..he isn't the kind to go back even if he regrets his actions but I also could never trust him or look at him the same way. I also kind of feel he finally filed because he has someone and he knows I would not do a simple dissolution although he has asked to do this without lawyers.

 

He drove to my county on Tuesday to file, says was filed in my county. It says he does have a lawyer in public records.

 

Question: It doesn't say if he paid to have me served. No one has been by the house to serve me yet that I know of. How long does it take to be served?

- How long can you dodge the server before you have to take it so it does not default? I am just looking to stay in the house as long as I can so I can try and figure out things.

 

Well, I will definitely look into that spa music.. I think I need something relaxing about now.

 

I feel deflated.

[Balzac]

You have no reason to be served, you've got a lawyer.

[It-is-what-it-is.]

Mis,

 

Let your lawyer handle this. Call him tomorrow and get your retainer to him and let him get you what you deserve.

 

There is literally no reason to continue to avoid this, it's not in your best interests.

 

 

Sorry I know it's painful.

 

IIWII

[Misadventure]

Yeah, it is painful. So I guess the emotions came back.

 

For a bit.. disbelief.. again...8 yrs together, almost 5 yrs married.. and so easily thrown away in 2 months.

 

Then just sadness..the lie as I know it is going to end.. and even though I knew it eventually would.. it just brought more of a deadline to "when".

 

Balzac, what do you mean by this that I don't have to be served? He doesn't know who my lawyer is, etc. and I never confirmed to him that I had one. I am just confused by the statement.

 

I don't know if its public record if he pays for a server, or how to find out..But yes, I am calling in the morning and my Mom and I are going to go see him.

 

IIWIS..I guess I am just not ready to leave the house is what it is.. I made this house a home.

[It-is-what-it-is.]

IIWIS..I guess I am just not ready to leave the house is what it is.. I made this house a home.

 

Now we are getting somewhere.

 

I assume...worse case, you can get sole use of the property while its on the market to sell. With him paying mortgage. In your area, how long does it take to sell a house? Proceeds split whenever that happens.

 

I assume you will get spousal support for some amount of time while you find a full time job that pays enough to support yourself.

 

I believe (i am not a lawyer) that his cheating will work in your favor for that (dating websites) in FL. So ask your attorney.

 

You have been struggling along without any money at all since he closed all the accounts and took all the family money, maybe now you can get some actual support.

 

Your attorney should be given permission to do what's necessary, and to look into your financials since he clearly isn't forthcoming.

 

It will all work out.

 

IIWII

[Grumpybutfun]

Misadventure:

You just give all your information to your lawyer and he handles things from now on...this is what you are retaining him for. He will do all the necessary paperwork after you tell him what you need. As you discuss things with your lawyer you will know what temporary monetary compensation you can expect before the actual divorce and can make plans for you and your dogs to move, or to stay in house until sale. I know this is very painful, but there isn't any way around it especially if your home is upside down. A fresh start will be more beneficial than you can imagine right now because you do not know where to go or what you have in order to secure a new home for you and your dogs. It will be much clearer after you see your lawyer. He will make sure you get what you need in order to have funds.

Since you and your mother are going together tomorrow to see your lawyer, I would suggest you sit down tonight and write down any and all questions you have to ask your lawyer. Tomorrow may be emotional for you and you may forget some important ones. Also, since your mom is more objective ask her to also participate in asking questions. Sometimes it helps just to have someone with you who can be more present in the moment.

Mis, you have shown a great deal of moxie, so I know you are going in there tomorrow and get things done. Moving forward is going to free you from what ifs and maybes. Though this may be hard, it is not insurmountable. The hard part is over. You found out you were living with and married to a douche.

Head high,

Grumps

[Balzac]

 

Balzac, what do you mean by this that I don't have to be served? He doesn't know who my lawyer is, etc. and I never confirmed to him that I had one. I am just confused by the statement..

 

I understood you have an attorney and had met w him to give him your story. That you were awaiting your stbexH filing for divorce. Filings are a public record. Attorneys have staffers who check the filings and then follow up with filing appropriate notifications.

 

Now I read that you've apparently not yet paid the retainer, I guess you're not as far along with this as it appeared.

 

You can choose to be served if that's you're desire. It's makes no difference in the long game. You are now the respondent.

[vla1120]

MisA, even though it doesn't feel like it, consider this a small victory in your favor. Since the beginning, you've wanted him to file. Everyone (including me) pressured you to file. Now, you move to the next chapter of this saga that WILL have a happy ending for YOU. Let your lawyer handle everything, as has been suggested.

 

You've made such phenomenal progress. I read that you have a new hair style (me too!!) and you've been treating yourself well (me too). Oh, and I literally laughed out loud when I read the comment about cutting off six inches. You have a man who has shown an interest in you (has he seen your new hotness yet?) and while you are not looking for anything right now, there's nothing wrong with a little male companionship - someone to remind you that you are a desirable woman - a REAL man to treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

 

Move into this next stage with the knowledge that, the day he left you, he drew the first blood from behind, catching you completely off guard. Now, you are En guard, ready for the parry. Let your lawyer strike back with deadly precision!

 

Chin up, girl - time to do something nice for yourself again. I've been doing something nice for myself every time the STBXH does something that makes me feel derailed. Right now, I am admiring the beautiful emerald and diamond ring that has now taken the place of my wedding ring. I can't stop looking at it! The ring looks especially nice on my recently-manicured hand!

[Misadventure]

I understood you have an attorney and had met w him to give him your story.

 

-Yes

 

That you were awaiting your stbexH filing for divorce.

 

- Yes

 

 

Now I read that you've apparently not yet paid the retainer, I guess you're not as far along with this as it appeared.

 

- No. Retainer is paid. He told me when he files and I am served then we go from there.

 

You can choose to be served if that's you're desire. It's makes no difference in the long game. You are now the respondent.

 

Right now I am looking to stay in the house for as long as I can. You are either the filer or the respondent.. I didn't file. Look, I am not an expert in divorce or a lawyer, I am just trying to keep from drowning. I can't just shut off my emotions. But I will play the game and get in the ring cause I need to get this business done but I also need time to try and get my own ducks in a row.

 

MisA, even though it doesn't feel like it, consider this a small victory in your favor. Since the beginning, you've wanted him to file. Everyone (including me) pressured you to file. Now, you move to the next chapter of this saga that WILL have a happy ending for YOU. Let your lawyer handle everything, as has been suggested.

 

You've made such phenomenal progress. I read that you have a new hair style (me too!!) and you've been treating yourself well (me too). Oh, and I literally laughed out loud when I read the comment about cutting off six inches. You have a man who has shown an interest in you (has he seen your new hotness yet?) and while you are not looking for anything right now, there's nothing wrong with a little male companionship - someone to remind you that you are a desirable woman - a REAL man to treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

 

Move into this next stage with the knowledge that, the day he left you, he drew the first blood from behind, catching you completely off guard. Now, you are En guard, ready for the parry. Let your lawyer strike back with deadly precision!

 

Chin up, girl - time to do something nice for yourself again. I've been doing something nice for myself every time the STBXH does something that makes me feel derailed. Right now, I am admiring the beautiful emerald and diamond ring that has now taken the place of my wedding ring. I can't stop looking at it! The ring looks especially nice on my recently-manicured hand!

 

Yeah..thats why going to go tomorrow.. the less for me try and figure out especially legally, the better. I like your fencing metaphor. you are right, I just need to be "Enguard". I Soo love that you have a new ring for your finger. You are right ...just keep trying to be positive and keep trucking. Grats on your ring, I am happy for you.

[Balzac]

Right now I am looking to stay in the house for as long as I can.

 

Emotionally, I get it. What I encourage you to do is ask your attorney to evaluate the tipping point financially. As discovery, the financial facts, become known to him, he can advise you. If you go in directing him to rank staying in the house as your #1 goal - it may cost you dearly. Be wise and compromise on convenience only as it's financially prudent.

[revitup]

MsA,

 

It had to happen.You needed this to happen even though it has to be a flood of emotions coming at you today.You're tougher than you think and this is only a test of that inner strength.

 

The new way of "serving" in NC where I am is by certified mail-I just filed the first of several civil lawsuits in a Superior Court here.I used the certified mail method $7.15 per summons vs. the $75.00 Deputy service.This is probably what happened-his atty sent you and your atty a certified service letter(s).

 

I will say you are now getting beyond the initial stages in this,your posts are a clear indicator of that progression.The changes in your appearance are great but the changes in your thinking and ATTITUDE are the best!

 

Now for something good...My joke of the day!

 

MsA said-I did... NOT your pink thong. But lace...

 

What's NEXT to the best thing in the world?....

 

MsA's new lace thong!

 

Keep the new attitude and expect the unexpected.

 

You are important.You do matter.You deserve love.

 

Just reminding you of these things again.

 

REVITUP

[Misadventure]

Well, today actually work called me in to the physical office. Nothing too bad but over stress, I have made some small mistakes. I need to focus more. Then I worked, everything was fine.

 

So, that means tomorrow, I am going with my Mom at Noon to the lawyer.

 

An attempt was made to serve me tonight at 9pm (WTF) though. I panicked. I got scared. I don't know why, it just freaked me out. I didn't answer.

 

I know I will need to the next time...it just really has me off balance.

 

So do I open it and read it before I give it to the lawyer? Do I even want to if some potentially hurtful things are in there?

[It-is-what-it-is.]

Well, today actually work called me in to the physical office. Nothing too bad but over stress, I have made some small mistakes. I need to focus more. Then I worked, everything was fine.

 

So, that means tomorrow, I am going with my Mom at Noon to the lawyer.

 

An attempt was made to serve me tonight at 9pm (WTF) though. I panicked. I got scared. I don't know why, it just freaked me out. I didn't answer.

 

I know I will need to the next time...it just really has me off balance.

 

So do I open it and read it before I give it to the lawyer? Do I even want to if some potentially hurtful things are in there?

 

Being served doesn't mean you are naughty. It just is a way to register that you received something. So remove the emotion from it.

 

As far as reading it, that is up to you. It's likely he filed for irreconcilable differences or your state's equivalent. Your lawyer will read it, and remember, it's a jumping off point.

 

Good luck with the lawyer.

[trippi1432]

Hi MisA - I know it's a stressful time, but I'm glad you are going to see the lawyer. I'm sure a lot of the fear you are feeling is of the unknown, but you are strong enough to deal with that. What I don't want to see you do is let "fear" or the hurt he is piling on keep you from getting what you deserve after your stbx has acted like a class A douche bag.

 

The good thing about the lawyer MisA, is that you no longer have to deal with your stbx. You let the lawyers deal with each other and you go full NC with this man so you can heal and reduce your stress levels.

 

Good luck at the lawyers.

[revitup]

MsA, Nervous is what normal people are supposed to feel when they have an officer/server at their door.Your response is normal unless you are being served everyday.

 

Opening the papers is an opportunity for you to show courage,without fear there would be no courage.You will feel stronger after do it and probably a little bit shocked.It will all be "real" to you and you may lose it a little.If you don't feel a little sad about the papers I will be surprised.

 

Seeing that lawyer will give you more confidence in the process.The "unknown" about the process is what creates the anxiety.This is a great move.

 

MsA,you are moving forward,your posts really do show your progress.It's difficult for you to see maybe,but we do,I do.

 

Today is your day....I don't know how to make air hugs and stuff but know I am air hugging you now! I'll give you the rabbit!

 

REVITUP