Husband Left Suddenly & it's been pretty bad.

[Misadventure]

Going at Noon.

 

No one has come again to serve me so far this morning.

 

Yes.. you are all right...I am nervous.. scared of the unknown etc.

 

Rev, and also I just don't want to feel that crushing blow again.. see it now in writing. I know I will have to but it really does hurt...and is too real.

 

I think my dogs felt what I feel.. when I woke up this morning there was diarrhea all over one big part of the living room.. no idea who did it so I can't exactly yell at them. I know it would take probably two whole rolls of paper towels to clean this up....

 

I went to the garage and unpacked two of HIS t-shirts that I had packed up.

 

It honestly only took two of his t-shirts to pick up a dinosaur worth of cr@p.

 

Great deal if you ask me...

[vla1120]

I went to the garage and unpacked two of HIS t-shirts that I had packed up.

 

It honestly only took two of his t-shirts to pick up a dinosaur worth of cr@p.

 

Now THAT'S what I'm talking about!!! I'm sitting in a doctor's office and literally burst out laughing. I can't stop laughing! You just made my day - my week!

 

I love you MisA! Thank you for the MUCH needed laugh. (It's official. I've lost it.)

[revitup]

Going at Noon.

 

No one has come again to serve me so far this morning.

 

Yes.. you are all right...I am nervous.. scared of the unknown etc.

 

Rev, and also I just don't want to feel that crushing blow again.. see it now in writing. I know I will have to but it really does hurt...and is too real.

 

I think my dogs felt what I feel.. when I woke up this morning there was diarrhea all over one big part of the living room.. no idea who did it so I can't exactly yell at them. I know it would take probably two whole rolls of paper towels to clean this up....

 

I went to the garage and unpacked two of HIS t-shirts that I had packed up.

 

It honestly only took two of his t-shirts to pick up a dinosaur worth of cr@p.

 

Great deal if you ask me...

 

 

Well in my opinion,that makes TWO pieces of cr@p you are rid of!

 

Good for you MsA

 

REVITUP

[revitup]

MsA, I am coming back here to your post for a selfish reason-I was reading and commenting (no more for REV on that one) on a post involving affairs with nasty old men who can't get it up and pregnancy of a cheating wife!

 

So I am here to post where progress and hope for the future of the OP is important to the OP!

 

You are a superstar today! You are actually doing the healing and feeling necessary to become a better person.

 

Congratulations MsA!

 

Thanks for allowing me to vent all over your post.

 

REVITUP

[It-is-what-it-is.]

Mis I am confident you have turned the corner.

 

IIWII

[It-is-what-it-is.]

Ok picture this....

 

In mediation...to keep yourself calm you can count the shirts you used to clean up dog poo.

 

Oh and.....If he ever asks where his shirts are you can say you didn't have enough money to buy paper towels so you had to use what was available.

[Misadventure]

I went to the garage and unpacked two of HIS t-shirts that I had packed up.

 

It honestly only took two of his t-shirts to pick up a dinosaur worth of cr@p.

 

Now THAT'S what I'm talking about!!! I'm sitting in a doctor's office and literally burst out laughing. I can't stop laughing! You just made my day - my week!

 

I love you MisA! Thank you for the MUCH needed laugh. (It's official. I've lost it.)

 

NP! I am glad it livened and made your day. Let me tell you, it was smelly!

 

MsA, I am coming back here to your post for a selfish reason-I was reading and commenting (no more for REV on that one) on a post involving affairs with nasty old men who can't get it up and pregnancy of a cheating wife!

 

So I am here to post where progress and hope for the future of the OP is important to the OP!

 

You are a superstar today! You are actually doing the healing and feeling necessary to become a better person.

 

Congratulations MsA!

 

Thanks for allowing me to vent all over your post.

 

REVITUP

 

Rev, I love talking to you, so you can come here for *****s & giggles anytime..you can vent and just chat anytime. I feel good today, even though I do feel some anxiety...my tummy is a mess.

 

My lawyer told me to go ahead and not worry about the process server, if he comes by to let him know that my lawyer will contact his lawyer and they can serve my lawyer.

 

He said he knows I am nervous, still upset but that its better to get this ********* out of my life and that we will go for exclusive possession of the house while the divorce is in process. He gave me the paperwork stuff I need for discovery, he estimates I won't need it for about a month but to start getting and finding relevant information. Thing is, he took 99.9% of it...

I am off today but I picked up some hours tonight. Just feel kinda... not sure. But at least I know two of his shirts helped clean up cr@p lol.

 

LOL ITWIS!!! Thanks I think I will do that. They were two of his fav shirts too that he just didn't take with him.. oh well... /eye roll innocently.

 

I think I have turned a corner too. I am not as in much shock.. it does still really get me anxious... a great many "I will never do this or that again with him"..but thats the OLD him... I wouldn't wanna do jack with who I know he has become..except use his shirts to clean dog's @$$es.

 

But I am ok right now.. I am sure will hit me again when I see the papers and what it says..I am kind of curious.. what COULD it say... Just that the marriage is irretrievably broken.. right?

 

I will say this.. it is freeing to know that most likely his lawyer advised him NOT to come over during the process.. and I don't have to wonder if he will just show up. That is kinda nice.

Edited September 10, 2013 by Misadventure

[Misadventure]

So I guess my lawyer hasn't contacted his lawyer yet about the process server.. he came tonight but I was working.. I just don't want it to default I guess I should call the paralegal in the morning.

 

I feel restless tonight after work.. the "distraction" called..he is actually really nice but I don't think I am even ready to be distracted yet. I found myself interrupting him (I know he was about to see how our schedules would match this weekend), but I already had plans.. and it didn't bother me letting him know. Who knows, maybe next week will be different.

 

It would be so nice to feel that rush of excitement in being happy again. I just wonder if I will feel it again.

 

It's hard to believe this time 3 months ago, I was laying in the arms of H... oblivious to everything but happy.

 

How do I forget all those little things that made my life complete for 8 yrs?

[revitup]

MsA, How do I forget all those little things that made my life complete for 8 yrs?

 

You don't forget,you put them in your good times folder which will be filed right behind your "Wow I'm having a great time now" folder.

 

You're really doing great.Thumbs up!

 

Thanks for allowing me to vent.

 

I can't wait til' tomorrow.........Cause MsA gets better every day!

 

REVITUP

[Misadventure]

I AM so mad right now.... I absolutely hate motherffing effing effer!

 

So I got served..instead of it going to the lawyer, I did get served.

 

- He wants ME to pay for his attorney fees!!!

- He wants to retain temporary sole possession of the house and all cars!!

- He wants possession of the dog as well.

- Possession of all items inside the house.

 

I am so sick right now.

 

I effing hate this man.

 

Rev, scratch what I said... I have no need to go down memory lane for awhile... I need to just draw blood!

Edited September 11, 2013 by Misadventure

[trippi1432]

MisA - It's pretty much standard that he will ask for everything he can get on the first notice that goes out, but it does sound like he hopes you will roll over and just give him everything while you quietly go away.

 

Guess what MisA - You're one tough cookie who ain't rolling over for this scumbag!!

 

Now!! As angry as you are right now, DO NOT CALL HIM, FACEBOOK HIM, OR EVEN POST ABOUT IT ON A SOCIAL NETWORK!! I know you are seething, I would be too......straight to the lawyer and let them draft the next part. You need to go totally incognito on his a** so he has no idea how you've taken it, what your plans are or what you are doing. Do not give him one ounce of ammo to use against you....he wants a reaction....don't give it to him.

 

Hang in there!!

[revitup]

I AM so mad right now.... I absolutely hate motherffing effing effer!

 

So I got served..instead of it going to the lawyer, I did get served.

 

- He wants ME to pay for his attorney fees!!!

- He wants to retain temporary sole possession of the house and all cars!!

- He wants possession of the dog as well.

- Possession of all items inside the house.

 

I am so sick right now.

 

I effing hate this man.

 

Rev, scratch what I said... I have no need to go down memory lane for awhile... I need to just draw blood!

 

MsA, It's ok to be anything you like today and to say anything you like today and to do anything you like today....As long as you do it here or in the privacy of your own house.

 

You really don't want to do anything he will know about today,nothing at all.No social media and no communication he will find.

 

As others have said,this is just normal protocol from a lawyer.They ask for the world and take what they can.Everyone hates lawyers-except their own,including me and I even don't like him very much.

 

Your legal attack dog will act like he is fighting his legal attack dog and in the end they both will claim they won.

 

It's a game we all will play in the end.I'm truly sorry.

 

You have so much to be proud of today and it's okay to just not care,be sick on the stomach,break something (his) ,or just pout for a while.

 

Just set a time limit now as to how long you'll do it and where you'll do it.

 

I wish it were different.

 

You still matter and maybe more now than before.

 

REVITUP

[vla1120]

Hey MisA, I'm thinking about you. Take care of yourself. Be good to yourself. Blast some music and dance around in the kitchen. I have my special playlist when I get angry or down. It's my I'll-be-JUST-fine-without-your-sorry-ass-thank-you-very-much playlist. I'll bet you have one, too.

[Janesays]

Next time, when I advise someone to file first, will they please refer back to this thread and LISTEN TO ME.

[Balzac]

The ONLY thing that matters in a divorce case is discovery. People talk a lot of trash about what they got and how they maneuvered, most of it they don't understand. If there are assets they will be divided and debt the same. It's often the case that only in the divorce discovery that a couple realizes they practiced good or poor financial planning.

 

Nobody cares what a petition states.

[No_closure]

I AM so mad right now.... I absolutely hate motherffing effing effer!

 

So I got served..instead of it going to the lawyer, I did get served.

 

- He wants ME to pay for his attorney fees!!!

- He wants to retain temporary sole possession of the house and all cars!!

- He wants possession of the dog as well.

- Possession of all items inside the house.

 

I am so sick right now.

 

I effing hate this man.

 

Rev, scratch what I said... I have no need to go down memory lane for awhile... I need to just draw blood!

 

Oh god... I almost threw up when I read what you wrote. My husband is trying to pull that crap on me too but it isn't in papers yet. Oh god my stomach hurts and I know ours does too. Why are they SO evil? These were men we loved and cared about so WHY??

[revitup]

 

revitup

[Balzac]

Oh god... Why are they SO evil? These were men we loved and cared about so WHY??

 

Thin line between love and hate. They know you well enough to employ effective war technique. Fully aware that you personalize business transactions, it's not a personal thing. Divorce is shutting down a financial partnership, nothing more.

[Misadventure]

Balzac, its shutting down an emotional and financial one. It's horrible really.

 

Rev, Tripp, V, BK.. I did go radio silent. After I came here, I shut down my PC and just did stuff I needed to do for me... I contacted my lawyer (and then brought the papers in today and he is filing an extension he said, he was also upset that the other lawyer ignored his request that I not be served, and it go to his office instead)...last night went out with my best friend. Went to a hole in the wall bar and then a gay bar with bad karaoke lol.

 

Yeah, he is going for everything and so selfish and what an effing *********...btw he did file right after he was caught on the dating website.

 

It makes me really mad...acting as if he has no recollection or respect for the time we were married and what we did share for the time we were. There is a way to do things that is somewhat respectful and gives dignity to what was once shared and this is not it.

 

Yes, my friends and my parents let me know in clear terms... "Now it IS the war".

[Balzac]

Balzac, its shutting down an emotional and financial one. It's horrible really.

 

The process of applying the law is about fairness. It's not emotional it's about logic and documentation of fact.

 

You're heart is emotion. It's a no factor in shutting down the financial partnership.

 

I get that you are affronted.

[revitup]

Doggone right! MsA has overcame a hurdle.

 

Rev was never worried for a minute about you MsA.

 

You are blazing new trails with the "Gay Bar" therapy thing though!

 

When you hear from my son on the physical/personal training thing again...ask him how he,a Marine, served shots in a Gay Bar:eek: He made a buttload of money that night,it was a pain in the butt though! He won't like Rev for that one.

 

You are right it's war and you now are in the battle instead of waiting for the enemy to come at you.

 

Defend yourself and go on the offense.

 

Proud of you MsA

 

REVITUP

[Misadventure]

Well, I was worried about me, Rev.. TY for having faith in me.

 

There is no way I am going down without a fight...and if I go down the the ship, so be it. I am going to fight for the things I want and F HIM.

 

Yes, I got the food plan/schedule and TY, just now needing to work out better.

 

Does anyone know how long the lawyer can extend the response for? He was in between appts and just came out for me quickly when I came to give him the papers, and he said that what we will do now, he will file for extension for response so it won't be a rush response. He told me not to worry.. or freak out, he said he knows I am freaked out.

 

So my dog actually has HAD diarrhea for 3 days now... 10 shirts that were left from stbx have now been used and full of sh** and trashed. Hey, better than paper towels. The carpet is kinda not good, no matter how much I clean it.

 

I did have to go through a whole thing of paper towels today, poor doggy. He is gonna have to not have food for the rest of the day.. then go on the brat diet to get his PH in his bowels back to normal.

[trippi1432]

MisA - LisaLee brings up a good point, don't want to make you paranoid, but have you changed the locks on the house?

 

Just recently in my area, a woman had all six of her horses stolen. I happened to see the posting about it on Facebook and noted it was nearby. My mother (who has horses too) found out from her farrier that the woman's husband paid a bunch of people with horse trailers to take the horses. They were in the middle of getting divorced. The detectives did find the horses and returned them to the woman, but he is entitled to half of them or she has to pay him to keep them all.

 

The last thing you would think is that someone would go through that trouble to take six horses.

[Moniq]

I am so sorry you are going through all this. I guess we will all go through this at one point or another.

 

My STBX's cousin told me to become an actress. Yes a Telenovela actress. She said that I should have my hair done, and be happy and beautiful in front of my EX. I think you should to MisA. Don't let him get the best of you.

 

Fight for what is right and leave the rest. Sometimes its better to cut your losses somewhere just to be able to move on.

 

Keep your head up and make yourself look beautiful! Im sure it might make you fell good,

[spiderowl]

I am so sorry to hear what's happened. Basically, you married a psychopath - someone who is incapable of empathy. It sounds like he might have had some sort of fling during that weekend away and has since changed his mind about where he should be. It's clear from how he's treated you that he has no empathy at all.

 

I can imagine it will take time to recover from such a shock. You have more strength than you realise but I can imagine the pain you are going through. Please seek counselling help and/or support from your family and friends. You need people who can reassure you now.

 

If you can manage it, I'd sort out any shared money/account situations now, before he can mess you around. He didn't have the decency to discuss anything with you and is treating you like crap. You obviously can't trust him to behave over anything.

 

All I can say is, try to look after yourself and get some support. The guy is rubbish and does not deserve you. It really is him and not you. Don't blame yourself, please. xx