drewdude Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 Hello, been dating this girl for almost 2 months. Things are have been going good, shes been showing affection, telling me she misses me, have good sex etc. The other night though, I happened to look up a name she uses on her facebook link..And what do you know, she shows up on an adult sex site. She did tell me she had a past with certain things, but assured me it was over. I noticed her profile on the adult hook up site was made years ago, but a recent log in was last week. This all threw me off, I don't know what to say/do. We aren't offical BF/GF yet so I don't know if its right to tell her anything but there are feelings involved in eachother. Wondering if I should just cut my losses due to this?
BradJacobs Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 This girl's someone to have fun with as long as it lasts not to get serious about or give your heart to cause she'll break it. I wouldn't run away from the easy sex just because you erroneously put her on a pedestal she didn't belong anywhere near. Lots of guys do that. Pay attention to the above.
ascendotum Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 Don't cut your loses yet. I guess it depends what sort of relationship you are after. If you want to walk on the wild side a little, she'll be a good one for you..unless she pulls, 'oh that was in the past. been there done that'. If you want her for a serious gf, then the fact that she logged in on a hookup site just the other week would be a big red flag imo. Something is there that she likes still. If you really want to be sure you could create a bogus profile on the site and msg her and see what you get.
jphcbpa Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 Might be a good time to ask her about her past "certain things" Would you be interested in swinging?
Author drewdude Posted August 8, 2013 Author Posted August 8, 2013 No, I don't like the whole swinging thing. I am a one woman type of guy, I've always been like that. I wonder if I even have a right to ask her about her past regarding the website? We aren't official yet. She actually want's to have a relationship with me. Would it be insecure of me if i brought it up?
CarrieT Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 She did tell me she had a past with certain things, but assured me it was over. I noticed her profile on the adult hook up site was made years ago, but a recent log in was last week. I give her points for telling you that she used to do these things. And -- having been one that used to do these things as well -- she *might* have received a message from someone she used to know or something that caused her to log in recently and tell them she is no longer interested. This is the point; you DON'T KNOW why she logged in to her account. I wouldn't write her off if she 'fessed up to having done this in the past. She might not still be trawling the site but logging in for a variety of reasons. You could ask her... 2
Author drewdude Posted August 8, 2013 Author Posted August 8, 2013 I am trying to work on somehow doing that as hard as it is. I do know shes had a past and been with some pretty screwed up men. It's just kind of difficult to cope with something like this. I wouldn't mind so much if there wasn't a recent log in. But as people above stated too, could have been someone who happened to message her. I won't really know the full details though unless she happens to tell me. Shes always been telling me how I'm like the perfect guy for her, etc.
jphcbpa Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 No, I don't like the whole swinging thing. I am a one woman type of guy, I've always been like that. I wonder if I even have a right to ask her about her past regarding the website? We aren't official yet. She actually want's to have a relationship with me. Would it be insecure of me if i brought it up? would not mention the website, but yes now is a fine time to talk about sex, what she likes, what she is into ect. perhaps she was on the site with another person (as a couple) and then that ended so she has her own account? what does her profile on that site read?
CptSaveAho Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 I am trying to work on somehow doing that as hard as it is. I do know shes had a past and been with some pretty screwed up men. It's just kind of difficult to cope with something like this. I wouldn't mind so much if there wasn't a recent log in. But as people above stated too, could have been someone who happened to message her. I won't really know the full details though unless she happens to tell me. Shes always been telling me how I'm like the perfect guy for her, etc. Really? She dated losers Future fakes you (likes seeing you) Still on a swinging website While I can blame how much of a ****ty person she is, you need to look in the mirror too. "im a relationship type of guy" means you have no options, you're settling to not be alone. having a talk with someone like this is going to do NOTHING. She will feed you bs, you will believe her, you will put your feelings out there for her to box up, open up one day and pull them out one by one and crush them. I dont get how people settle for this garbage nowadays? 3
Author drewdude Posted August 8, 2013 Author Posted August 8, 2013 She only has her picture with her name, basic info and a hook up/swingers category. There is no posts by her, additional pictures or anything on her profile. It lets you view it in full but there is nothing else.
ascendotum Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 I don't know if it will cost you $ or not, but I would create a fake profile, using the pic of a decent looking guy and msg her. I doubt very much she will tell you about her hookup past beyond the greyzone comments like "..she had a past with certain things", which can cover a lot.
BradJacobs Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 She only has her picture with her name, basic info and a hook up/swingers category. There is no posts by her, additional pictures or anything on her profile. It lets you view it in full but there is nothing else. And I guess when she logged in last they refused to delete her profile picture or profile? Don't buy into the bs.
SantistaUSA Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 She only has her picture with her name, basic info and a hook up/swingers category. There is no posts by her, additional pictures or anything on her profile. It lets you view it in full but there is nothing else. What kind of picture of her is it? what about basic info? if it pretty much bare bones and not much in it, it might not even be her! Those websites will create fake profiles and send messages to other members to get them to sign up for the membership, as usually you have to be a paying member to have a conversation. Also you could have been someone else using a picture of her a creating the profile. Couple of years ago my coworkers did that to me as a prank. Also is it really is her, could be that she likes to read the forum, get ideas etc. I'm just trying to look at the bright side, but you never know. If you want something with her and you been seeing her for two months, ask if she wants to be exclusive, if she says no then just leave! 2
dasein Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 A good friend of mine had a profile like that before he met his wife. I don't doubt he logged in while doing the OLD that led to meeting her. They have been happily married for years now and have a kid. OTOH, if this bothers you and lingers, I don't see anything wrong with telling her you found it and asking about it. We live in a net world today with people looking into the people they date, and if she found it reprehensible that you found it, then she's inflexible and likely a bad bet. Good luck whatever you decide. 1
ZX4 Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 If you've been dating for two months, and you haven't talked about sex, you have issues. You should never expect someone that you are not committed to, to put their sex life on hold. Especially if you are NOT having sex with them. Ask her about it, instead of posting online.
SantistaUSA Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 If you've been dating for two months, and you haven't talked about sex, you have issues. You should never expect someone that you are not committed to, to put their sex life on hold. Especially if you are NOT having sex with them. Ask her about it, instead of posting online. Read the orig post more carefully, he is having sex with her, but they haven't talked about making the relationship official and/or about exclusivity!
bubbaganoosh Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 If your a one woman type of guy it's obvious that her lifestyle and yours is not going to mesh. I'm not saying that she's a bad person but she does have some skeletons in her closet and I have a feeling that she want's to keep them there. Now that you know, your not just going to have questions but a whole lot of them and with each question there is a answer and you just might not like what you here so, what to do. I would look around for a girl who thinks more on the same lines as you do because when your staring a relationship with someone and your not into what she was in, your going to have a rough time of it. That's not what a relationship is supposed to be. I would just tell you to play it on the safe side and politely move on. Might save you from a few premature gray hairs.
ZX4 Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 Read the orig post more carefully, he is having sex with her, but they haven't talked about making the relationship official and/or about exclusivity! Hes having sex, but not talking about it? There comes a time when you have to ask your date whether or not they are currently sleeping with other people. Now, if she lied to him about the fact that shes sleeping with other men, or even still looking for it, I'd dump her. But, if he never asked her about her sex life, it's on him.
SantistaUSA Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 Hes having sex, but not talking about it? There comes a time when you have to ask your date whether or not they are currently sleeping with other people. Now, if she lied to him about the fact that shes sleeping with other men, or even still looking for it, I'd dump her. But, if he never asked her about her sex life, it's on him. That I agree. If I am sleeping with someone and I'm interested in a relationship I would definitely talk about it.
jcrew11 Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 is she hot? If you don't want to date her, then I will, LOL. How is your sex life? Is she into 3somes or devil 3somes?
ja123 Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 Is she into 3somes or devil 3somes? What's a devil 3some?
New User Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 What's a devil 3some? Two girls one cup (DO NOT GOOGLE THAT if you don't know what it is, count yourself lucky) 3
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