girlfriend accompanying another guy to a social function

[jd-coke]

I just recently started dating this girl about 2 months ago, and during that time we decided to make it official (GF/BF) so it hasn't been too long. The problem is is that she's had some bad experiences in the past and she's also a bit older than I am so we haven't told too many people about us, (just close friends, and people who find out or suspect, etc.) Well anyway, this one guy, keeps calling my girl asking her to accompany him to various social events and she always politely turns him down. Well today he messages her asking her to accompany him to a wedding, as his date, to which she replies, I'm dating somebody right now but I'll go if you really want me to go but just as friends. She called me asking me if it was ok that she goes, and I of course, said yes as long as she wanted to. She explained that she felt bad because it is one of her friends and he just won't stop asking her so she finally felt obligated to go to at least one thing. Personally, I don't care, because I trust her and I'm pretty laid back, but now that I think about it, I'm not too sure what to think. I need an opinion. What should I do?

[tattoomytoe]

relax, let her go.

 

she sounds responsible and respectful, being that she asked if you were cool with it.

[SoleMate]

I don't like her reasoning as to why she must go. He's a friend, and he won't stop asking? This makes me think that she might be used to having her friends tell her what to do. I also don't like the fact that your gf has insisted on keeping your gf/bf status secret, or "restricted access", shall we say. "Bad experiences"? Hogwash! More likely she is not wanting to spoil her chances with other men.

 

These are just my suspicions, you can judge the truth better than I since you have all the facts...

[Cecelius]

I think its inappropriate on the face of it. Maybe it means nothing long term, and I am NOT suggesting that you tell her not to go or that you disagree with it. What I am saying is that life threw her a challenge, and she's failed to do the right thing.

 

1) Clearly she knows he has been after her to go on dates, which she refused (she couldn't have shut him down politely before?) -- why would she have turned him down if she didn't think they were dates? Is there something about it being a wedding that makes it less of a date? Plenty of people go to weddings alone.

 

2) She is going with him because he won't leave her alone? And if he won't leave her alone about kissing him? Holding his hand? What about when he won't leave her alone about lunches? This logic troubles me greatly because it is a mark of a youthful woman who is still too concerned with what everyone thinks about her, and getting approval from this guy. So he has a wedding to go to? So what. Why is that her problem?

 

3) Can you answer (1) who was more in favor of being exclusive (2 months is NOT enough time to have a woman qualify herself to you (or you to her) and (2) who was more concerned about keeping the relationship quiet, you or she?