MrTurk Posted August 9, 2013 Share Posted August 9, 2013 From what I see around me....women have no problem dating overweight, pudgy guys. Maybe I should stop working out....and gain about 20-30 lbs....maybe then I can be attractive and get women to notice me. Link to post Share on other sites
Col1 Posted August 9, 2013 Share Posted August 9, 2013 From what I see around me....women have no problem dating overweight, pudgy guys. What is the general physical condition of these women dating the plus-size guys? Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted August 9, 2013 Share Posted August 9, 2013 From what I see around me....women have no problem dating overweight, pudgy guys. Maybe I should stop working out....and gain about 20-30 lbs....maybe then I can be attractive and get women to notice me. Who cares? It's how YOU feel about yourself that matters. That needs to come first before worrying about things some women like. Personally, I am not into overweight men at all. This doesn't mean they need to have ripped model physique, but I do prefer slim/slender/athletic build. If you are guzzling soda and junk food each day, that is an instant turn-off for me. I like men who care about their health and appearance. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrTurk Posted August 9, 2013 Author Share Posted August 9, 2013 Who cares? It's how YOU feel about yourself that matters. That needs to come first before worrying about things some women like. Personally, I am not into overweight men at all. This doesn't mean they need to have ripped model physique, but I do prefer slim/slender/athletic build. If you are guzzling soda and junk food each day, that is an instant turn-off for me. I like men who care about their health and appearance. I understand your point, but we all know majority of people only care about the image projected on the outside. Look at the number of cheaters, liars, womanizers, druggies, and alcoholics that all get dates, have relationships, and are married…are those people happy with themselves??? NO they are not.…does the other person still date them?? YES they do! WHY?? Because the facade works. If you take 100 people putting on an act, and 100 people being totally honest and real…the bullsh*tters will always get more attention, more dates, and more relationships than those that are nice, honest, and real. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrTurk Posted August 9, 2013 Author Share Posted August 9, 2013 What is the general physical condition of these women dating the plus-size guys? I'm not talking about big and tall, 75-100lb overweight men. I'm talking about the guys with the guts, the potbellies. I hear it constantly from women "oh I love my big teddy bear man". Most of these women are in average-above average shape…especially for their age. Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted August 9, 2013 Share Posted August 9, 2013 I'm not talking about big and tall, 75-100lb overweight men. I'm talking about the guys with the guts, the potbellies. I hear it constantly from women "oh I love my big teddy bear man". Most of these women are in average-above average shape…especially for their age. Ewww yuck! Call me shallow, but I find even the slightest of a potbelly gross. I know a few women that don't mind it though. A lot of times women are self-conscious about their weight and want the man to be bigger than them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrTurk Posted August 9, 2013 Author Share Posted August 9, 2013 Ewww yuck! Call me shallow, but I find even the slightest of a potbelly gross. I know a few women that don't mind it though. A lot of times women are self-conscious about their weight and want the man to be bigger than them. I think thats a lot of it. And the guy being a little "bigger" give some women the sense that he can protect her. Goes hand in hand with the women that prefer taller guys. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted August 9, 2013 Share Posted August 9, 2013 It's not useful to compare - everyone is their own self! Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrTurk Posted August 9, 2013 Author Share Posted August 9, 2013 It's not useful to compare - everyone is their own self! How much do you know about psychology and sociology? People are not as individualistic as everyone likes to think they are. I understand it not being good to compare....but in my world....everything is direct, concrete, and black and white. Those happy little sayings, and positive pick me ups that work for most people dont work with me. Link to post Share on other sites
HiddenUser Posted August 9, 2013 Share Posted August 9, 2013 I don't think working out just to get a date is the right way to go about it. The reason is, you're only doing it for a relationship, so once you have one, it'll be really easy to get complacent and let yourself go. That's a huge turnoff for women. I exercise because I want to live a long, healthy life. I want to take care of my heart and lower my blood pressure (I have diagnosed HBP). I love the way my body is starting to look and it's really helping me to build my confidence and self-esteem. It's a fantastic stress reducer and I'm not nearly as agitated, stressed or angry as I once was - all very important not only to my health but also to my relationships. I won't lie to you, I do want to look good for women, but I'd say it's only about 2% of the reason why I do it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrTurk Posted August 9, 2013 Author Share Posted August 9, 2013 I exercise because I want to live a long, healthy life. I want to take care of my heart and lower my blood pressure (I have diagnosed HBP). I love the way my body is starting to look and it's really helping me to build my confidence and self-esteem. It's a fantastic stress reducer and I'm not nearly as agitated, stressed or angry as I once was - all very important not only to my health but also to my relationships. I won't lie to you, I do want to look good for women, but I'd say it's only about 2% of the reason why I do it. All good points...and I agree with all of that. I'm simply stating that from what I see in my world...I see more overweight guys that have a woman, than fit guys with a woman. When I was married....my wife gave me the feeling that she was jealous/insecure that I was getting in better shape. Almost like she felt like she was being left behind. As I said before....I believe 100% that many women accept guys with flaws easier, because it makes them feel better about themselves. Now if I can just get them feel great about themselves, and their full head of hair, by dating me with my shaved bald head Link to post Share on other sites
ZX4 Posted August 10, 2013 Share Posted August 10, 2013 You're being very passive-aggressive. With that said, I can see why women are ignoring you; try lightening up a little, and treating women like human beings. Every person has their own set of preferences; if a chick doenst like your face, it's not a reflection of you, or any of the "pudgy" guys they go for; it simply means that particular woman didnt care for you. There are 7 billion people on the planet; there is bound to be one attractive, spectacular woman out there, that likes you for you. Actually, as long as you're employed and relatively well-kept, I'm sure there are millions. Link to post Share on other sites
HiddenUser Posted August 10, 2013 Share Posted August 10, 2013 All good points...and I agree with all of that. I'm simply stating that from what I see in my world...I see more overweight guys that have a woman, than fit guys with a woman. When I was married....my wife gave me the feeling that she was jealous/insecure that I was getting in better shape. Almost like she felt like she was being left behind. As I said before....I believe 100% that many women accept guys with flaws easier, because it makes them feel better about themselves. Now if I can just get them feel great about themselves, and their full head of hair, by dating me with my shaved bald head Hahaha! I didn't realize you had already been married and all that. You have way more experience than I do, so my mistake. Speaking of shaved heads, though, my brother just tried that here recently and now he looks like a fat lesbian. :laugh::lmao: But, his wife still loves him. In fact, I've seen women that only like shaved heads. Interesting. You'll find your love, man, I'm confident of it. It just takes a little waiting sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted August 10, 2013 Share Posted August 10, 2013 From what I see around me....women have no problem dating overweight, pudgy guys. Maybe I should stop working out....and gain about 20-30 lbs....maybe then I can be attractive and get women to notice me. It's personality, the one thing that many men don't think women care about. The guy I'm seeing is in the category you mention. He used to lift and did martial arts, etc but not for a while and has higher body fat %. He is also very relaxed, laid back, chatty, friendly and social. I'm fit and admit to being a bit controlling when it comes to food I eat, how much exercise I do etc, I'm much more regimented than he is. He is the opposite and I find his company liberating, he brings out a more relaxed version of me and I value that very much. People who are really fit are often quite controlling too and not that much fun to be with. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
EasyHeart Posted August 10, 2013 Share Posted August 10, 2013 I'm fit and admit to being a bit controlling when it comes to food I eat, how much exercise I do etc, I'm much more regimented than he is. He is the opposite and I find his company liberating, he brings out a more relaxed version of me and I value that very much. People who are really fit are often quite controlling too and not that much fun to be with.It's only "controlling" if you're nagging and bullying other people to eat the food you want them to eat or do the exercises you want them to do. Making yourself eat right and exercise just means you're disciplined. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrTurk Posted August 11, 2013 Author Share Posted August 11, 2013 I'm fit and admit to being a bit controlling when it comes to food I eat, how much exercise I do etc, I'm much more regimented than he is. He is the opposite and I find his company liberating, he brings out a more relaxed version of me and I value that very much. People who are really fit are often quite controlling too and not that much fun to be with. I dont lift....but I try to exercise on a regular basis. And I do try to watch what I eat, but I'm not regimental about it. Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 It's only "controlling" if you're nagging and bullying other people to eat the food you want them to eat or do the exercises you want them to do. I admit, I have done this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
beautifulearth83 Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 Physical appearance has nothing to do with it. You have to believe that you're the kind of person they want. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 It's only "controlling" if you're nagging and bullying other people to eat the food you want them to eat or do the exercises you want them to do. Making yourself eat right and exercise just means you're disciplined. People who follow a certain lifestyle often give off that exact vibe. Perhaps not aggressively but they will have the lifestyle and the beliefs and they will be pretty vocal about it. Discipline is a good thing but there is a fine line before it becomes boring. Fun people let go every now and then and let their hair down. Fun people make you feel comfortable. Link to post Share on other sites
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