Sam Posted February 22, 1999 Share Posted February 22, 1999 There is this girl i like, but she is a few years younger than I am. and she is my cousins best friend. My cousin is always telling me that this girl likes me, but i dont want to make my cousin mad by asking this girl out. Ill call her and we will talk on the phone but it hasnt gone any further than that. The real problem comes in with the age diff she is 14 and im 21, but i find myself thinking of her all the time not in a sexual manor, but i enjoy talking with her and being around her. Should I ask her out? Link to post Share on other sites
LoveAngel Posted February 22, 1999 Share Posted February 22, 1999 Sam, There is this girl i like, but she is a few years younger than I am. and she is my cousins best friend. My cousin is always telling me that this girl likes me, but i dont want to make my cousin mad by asking this girl out. Ill call her and we will talk on the phone but it hasnt gone any further than that. The real problem comes in with the age diff she is 14 and im 21, but i find myself thinking of her all the time not in a sexual manor, but i enjoy talking with her and being around her. Should I ask her out? Simple, brief answer: no. You shouldn't ask her out. "A few years younger" doesn't sound like very much. In your case, 7. And while it's true that she may appear emotionally mature, she simply had not had the *experience* to handle a relationship with someone 7 years her senior. At this stage in her life, she's experiencing not only mental growth, but physical, and right now what she needs to deal with is herself, not a relationship with you, let alone anyone else. You've already gone through the majority of your maturation years. If you're having a problem maintaining a friendship with her without thinking of it in romantic terms, then I'd suggest removing yourself from the situation completely. Rather than wonder if you should "ask her out," perhaps you should focus on *why* you're seeking out younger girls. Is it a superiority complex you're trying to fulfill? You need to deal with some blantant personal issues first, before you try getting into a relationship with anyone. If you need assistance, I'd recommend professional counsel. Best wishes to you. LoveAngel Link to post Share on other sites
Ryan Posted February 26, 1999 Share Posted February 26, 1999 I entirely agree with my compatriot's evaluation. This simply can't happen. It's a ridiculous notion to think this kind of relationship would ever work, and the fact that you consider it tells me that you need to seriously consider your motivations. She is merely a child. You are an ADULT and it is your duty to act as such, which includes protecting the interests of children. Link to post Share on other sites
vivacious Posted February 26, 1999 Share Posted February 26, 1999 There is this girl i like, but she is a few years younger than I am. and she is my cousins best friend. My cousin is always telling me that this girl likes me, but i dont want to make my cousin mad by asking this girl out. Ill call her and we will talk on the phone but it hasnt gone any further than that. The real problem comes in with the age diff she is 14 and im 21, but i find myself thinking of her all the time not in a sexual manor, but i enjoy talking with her and being around her. Should I ask her out? Look, man have you ever heard of statutory rape. Do not do it. Her age is the main factor in this relationship. Is 25 years worth one night of carnal pleasure or what ever you both do? Link to post Share on other sites
Sam Posted February 28, 1999 Share Posted February 28, 1999 Look, man have you ever heard of statutory rape. Do not do it. Her age is the main factor in this relationship. Is 25 years worth one night of carnal pleasure or what ever you both do? I have one question for you where in my post did I say I was going to be having sex with her and its 5-10 years for statuutory rape not 25 years. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveAngel Posted March 1, 1999 Share Posted March 1, 1999 I have one question for you where in my post did I say I was going to be having sex with her and its 5-10 years for statuutory rape not 25 years. Well, gee. I feel much better knowing that 5-10 years still gives you plenty of time to take up quilting. The point isn't whether or not you have sex. The point is that you're considering doing something that *will* be damaging to this young girl and *will not* result in a healthy situation for you. Regardless of what you do or do not do, my original opinion still stands. Why the younger age? What attracts you to her? Her vulnerability? Her willingness? Her innocense? Why not examine that. Look at yourself, not her. LoveAngel Link to post Share on other sites
Sam Posted March 1, 1999 Share Posted March 1, 1999 Her vulnerability? I dont think she is very vulnerable, for I would not be her first boyfriend that was older than she is the last one was 23 and some before were older. Her innocense? I know she not a virgin she has already told me so and she has had more experience than I have. Her willingness? You could have me on her willingness, but her willingness to do what all I want is a nonsexual relationship with her right now and nothing more than that.(5-10years is still a long time). So if Im not having sex with her and I am not nearly her first older boyfriend and I am not taking advantage of her how am I damaging her. Well, gee. I feel much better knowing that 5-10 years still gives you plenty of time to take up quilting. The point isn't whether or not you have sex. The point is that you're considering doing something that *will* be damaging to this young girl and *will not* result in a healthy situation for you. Regardless of what you do or do not do, my original opinion still stands. Why the younger age? What attracts you to her? Her vulnerability? Her willingness? Her innocense? Why not examine that. Look at yourself, not her. LoveAngel Link to post Share on other sites
Thiamine Posted March 13, 1999 Share Posted March 13, 1999 Her vulnerability? I dont think she is very vulnerable, for I would not be her first boyfriend that was older than she is the last one was 23 and some before were older. Her innocense? I know she not a virgin she has already told me so and she has had more experience than I have. Her willingness? You could have me on her willingness, but her willingness to do what all I want is a nonsexual relationship with her right now and nothing more than that.(5-10years is still a long time). So if Im not having sex with her and I am not nearly her first older boyfriend and I am not taking advantage of her how am I damaging her. I'm only going to say this once: stay away from this girl, she's way too young for you. It does not matter how far she's gone with other older guys, the fact is she needs to get her head on straight before she heads into more relationships like these. You yourself need to see why your attracted to her, like LoveAngel said. Try and find some women closer to your age...the relationship between a 14 year old and a 21 year old just will not work out. --Thiamine--(Allison) Link to post Share on other sites
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