I like a girl at work but what's the point?

[HitmanHart]

Hello.

 

New girl named Alice at work that's in our team for the week and she works with my friend. Since we eat together at lunch I was introduced to her. I know what it's like being new so I was friendly. I quickly ended up liking her personality. There's still so much I don't know about her but so far she seems great. She is also beautiful. Since the first day we met earlier this week, I've been thinking about her so much. After lunch I go back to do my regular stuff at work and I've been smiling just thinking about her. Even a few people noticed this.

 

Alice and I get along well and talk to each other alot. Sometimes we get quiet both either one brings something up. Today at lunch she went away for a few moments are my 2 friends noticed I like her. They told me its obvious and noticeable based on how I look at her, I pay alot of attention to her and I talk to her a lot and that I was a little nervous.

 

But I won't ask her out. I no longer feel confident. I've been rejected over 7 times in my life and I know a cool girl like Alice wouldn't date a guy like me. First of all I'm not attractive at the moment. I let myself go earlier this year and gained a lot of weight, and I have a beard. Second I'm boring, don't have friends (I only socialize at work) and I'm a big nerd (I don't look like one at all however). A girl as beautiful as her wouldn't go out with a guy like me.

 

How can I stop making girls know I like them? I can't help but trying to make them happy. I wish I wouldn't like girls the way I do because I keep thinking about her, wanting to see her again, but at the same time I feel so hurt because I like a girl that won't like me. I don't have much to offer (I don't go out much, etc). It sucks feeling this way.

 

I can only enjoy the time I have left with her in our team before she gets sent to another team. I just feel hopeless and see no point in asking girls out at the moment. I'm going to start working out soon and ill probably ask a girl out a few months later once I regain my confidence.

[Philosoraptor]

Clean yourself up and ask her out. Who cares if you get rejected? Everyone gets rejected plenty of times.

 

You've got nothing to lose by asking her out, at worst your still alone which isn't any different than where you're at now. You shouldn't derive your happiness or self esteem from what someone else thinks of you anyways. All you can do is gain by asking her out, no loss at all.

 

And you've been rejected 7 times in your life? I've been rejected more times than that in a day before. Who cares? They didn't matter, they still don't matter, it had no effect on me because they were just being honest, it saved me time "wondering" what could have been, and because I kept at it I'm now getting married to a beautiful woman. Nothing to lose, everything to gain.

[pcplod]

Hello.

 

New girl named Alice at work that's in our team for the week and she works with my friend. Since we eat together at lunch I was introduced to her. I know what it's like being new so I was friendly. I quickly ended up liking her personality. There's still so much I don't know about her but so far she seems great. She is also beautiful. Since the first day we met earlier this week, I've been thinking about her so much. After lunch I go back to do my regular stuff at work and I've been smiling just thinking about her. Even a few people noticed this.

 

Alice and I get along well and talk to each other alot. Sometimes we get quiet both either one brings something up. Today at lunch she went away for a few moments are my 2 friends noticed I like her. They told me its obvious and noticeable based on how I look at her, I pay alot of attention to her and I talk to her a lot and that I was a little nervous.

 

But I won't ask her out. I no longer feel confident. I've been rejected over 7 times in my life and I know a cool girl like Alice wouldn't date a guy like me. First of all I'm not attractive at the moment. I let myself go earlier this year and gained a lot of weight, and I have a beard. Second I'm boring, don't have friends (I only socialize at work) and I'm a big nerd (I don't look like one at all however). A girl as beautiful as her wouldn't go out with a guy like me.

 

How can I stop making girls know I like them? I can't help but trying to make them happy. I wish I wouldn't like girls the way I do because I keep thinking about her, wanting to see her again, but at the same time I feel so hurt because I like a girl that won't like me. I don't have much to offer (I don't go out much, etc). It sucks feeling this way.

 

I can only enjoy the time I have left with her in our team before she gets sent to another team. I just feel hopeless and see no point in asking girls out at the moment. I'm going to start working out soon and ill probably ask a girl out a few months later once I regain my confidence.

 

And there's me who thought I was the king at putting oneself down, Oh ****, I can't even good at that any more, apparently. If I cared about the way you do yourself down, I would cry buckets for you. As it is I stand here gob-smacked, asking myself "Is this really possible"? THe way you talk about yourself am frankly surprised that you haven't topped yourself off a long time ago. Is there any prospect that you can just tell yourself that it effing absurd and give yourself a good slapping? It's seriously over-due by all accounts.

 

Oh, by the way there is the age-old maxim "Never $h1t on your own doorstep". However, on the other hand there is the observation that an awful lot of relationships start in the workplace, purely on the basis of opportunity presents. I guess there is no possibility that you might have to contend with that dilemma?

[smile1983]

I think you're being too hard on yourself. If you like her, ask her out. The worst thing she could say is no. Hell, she might even like you back, but you'll never know if you don't put yourself out there. (I know, hypocritical much? *the pot loves explaining to the kettle how black it is* this side note is for those of you who have read my previous threads.)

[fallenheart]

If she's as hot as you say, you're right. Don't bother. A hot girl is always already dating a guy. Hot girls also don't waste their time with fat nerds with beards. Sad but true.