Women need to stop overstating the importance of a guy's personality.

[Energy]

Women on this site try to make it seem like personality trumps all. They usually support their statement by saying, "I was went out with a guy who wasn't good-looking at all, but I was drawn to his magnetic personality." (Nevermind the fact that the other 5 guys they've dated were each good-looking.) Women here are giving guys false hope. What happens is that guys think, "Oh, this is great news. I'm gonna work on my social skills, my humor, my confidence. Can't wait to see how much better I do with women." And then they'll come back here more jaded after seeing that their new-and-improved personality isn't helping them get women, that the women are continuing to go after good-looking (or rich) guys who are not personable at all. I'm sorry, but personality is overrated. Most guys who notice they got a lot of attention with women after becoming more confident and social are guys who were good-looking to begin with and just needed to get over their shyness. It is, quite frankly, insulting to tell a guy who's bad with women that he needs to improve his personality, especially since a lot of guys have great personalities that get them very far in life outside the dating world

 

It's about having a combination of physical attraction and compatibility when it comes to personality. A guy can have the best personality and most cracking sense of humour in the world, but if I'm not attracted to him, it's going nowhere.

 

The same goes for vice versa. I was drawn to a guy that I dated by his looks, he was conventionally cute, he somewhat looked like Channing Tatum actually, and was in comparison much better looking than me, my interest quickly faded once I discovered we had literally nothing in common and I found his presence kinda boring, though he was nice.

 

Most guys, regardless of looks do fine in the dating world, in my experience most of the guys who remain single and bitter for a long time are the ones who have social problems or unrealistic standards. We all hear about the "nice guy" - the "nice guy" who throws himself at the feet of women who are quite frankly miles out of his league in the looks department and wonders why she chooses the good looking party boy/bad boy hunk over him, meanwhile girls of a similar level of attractiveness and personality to him just don't register on his radar. I have seen this happen time and time again, and have absolutely no sympathy.

[PJKino]

You need physical attraction to pique a womens interest then you close the deal with personality..

 

no physical attraction but personality=alot of female friends but no lovers

[Suave]

The dating game sucks on both sides. People are all fighting for the best mate they can possibly get instead of simply dating around to find the best match.

 

That's when personality can win out. But when it's all about who has the highest cheekbones and the nicest car or body, looks trump everything for both sexes.

[HoneyBadgerDontCare]

The dating game sucks on both sides. People are all fighting for the best mate they can possibly get instead of simply dating around to find the best match.

 

That's when personality can win out. But when it's all about who has the highest cheekbones and the nicest car or body, looks trump everything for both sexes.

 

Yes and if you think about it, it makes sense.

 

How many people do you know that go into massive amounts of debt to buy BMWs and big houses? How many have huge weddings that they can't afford? How many doctors and lawyers went to school not because they like their respective fields, but for the prestige?

 

The US and places like it are all about image, looks, and outer appearance. Who cares if something actually sucks, as long as it LOOKS like it's good.

 

Dating is no different. Why would it be?

[Lani]

Women on this site try to make it seem like personality trumps all. They usually support their statement by saying, "I was went out with a guy who wasn't good-looking at all, but I was drawn to his magnetic personality." (Nevermind the fact that the other 5 guys they've dated were each good-looking.) Women here are giving guys false hope. What happens is that guys think, "Oh, this is great news. I'm gonna work on my social skills, my humor, my confidence. Can't wait to see how much better I do with women." And then they'll come back here more jaded after seeing that their new-and-improved personality isn't helping them get women, that the women are continuing to go after good-looking (or rich) guys who are not personable at all. I'm sorry, but personality is overrated. Most guys who notice they got a lot of attention with women after becoming more confident and social are guys who were good-looking to begin with and just needed to get over their shyness. It is, quite frankly, insulting to tell a guy who's bad with women that he needs to improve his personality, especially since a lot of guys have great personalities that get them very far in life outside the dating world

 

I'm not going to bother arguing with your logic (or lack of..) because it will just make me even more baffled by this thread than I already am.

 

What I wonder is what you think the alternative is?

If a guy is physically unattractive and has a crappy personality, then it's just a double negative?

If things are really that bad physically then isn't it worth working on your personality anyway? Because, well, being an ugly nice guy is better than being an ugly jerk, right?

Or maybe I'm just crazy.

[HoneyBadgerDontCare]

I'm not going to bother arguing with your logic (or lack of..) because it will just make me even more baffled by this thread than I already am.

 

What I wonder is what you think the alternative is?

If a guy is physically unattractive and has a crappy personality, then it's just a double negative?

If things are really that bad physically then isn't it worth working on your personality anyway? Because, well, being an ugly nice guy is better than being an ugly jerk, right?

Or maybe I'm just crazy.

 

It depends in what context. Even though I don't think that being a nice guy is ever really better, it's NEVER good when dating.

 

I would say that the only thing that matters more than looks and social status in dating are traits that are associated with being a bad boy.

 

Field tested.

[Lani]

It depends in what context. Even though I don't think that being a nice guy is ever really better, it's NEVER good when dating.

 

I would say that the only thing that matters more than looks and social status in dating are traits that are associated with being a bad boy.

 

Field tested.

 

And the curse of LS' stupid phrases bites again...

I didn't mean 'nice guy' nice guy. I just meant have a decent personality.

 

As in not be ugly both ways.

[HoneyBadgerDontCare]

And the curse of LS' stupid phrases bites again...

I didn't mean 'nice guy' nice guy. I just meant have a decent personality.

 

As in not be ugly both ways.

 

And by decent personality, you mean "bad boy".

 

Someone that doesn't follow rules and does whatever they want. Very confident, interesting, and exciting.

 

I know what you mean, Lani.