Red Wolverine Posted August 10, 2013 Share Posted August 10, 2013 I'm very funny and sarcastic once I get to know you, and learn who you are and what makes you tick. But I'm not one of those funny guys that can just walk up to girls at the bar and crack jokes and get people to laugh. I am leery of men who aggressively approach women. They are usually arrogant. As long as you are approachable and demonstrate interest, all those other things come in time. Again, you don't have to work a crowd, just the woman you are interested in. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted August 10, 2013 Share Posted August 10, 2013 As far as I can tell. Nobody is attracted to me....and if they are, they dont show it. How, where, and when am I supposed to know if a woman is attracted to me?? Well, with the guy I mentioned last night, I petted his dog and stayed put when others walked away to go get water and snacks. I know... pretty tame. That was only our first discussion though. I have no idea if he thinks I'm attractive too... and honestly, my head isn't 'there' just yet. He just seemed nice and cute. I'd happily talk to him again next time we are at a run together. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
iKING Posted August 10, 2013 Share Posted August 10, 2013 Well, with the guy I mentioned last night, I petted his dog and stayed put when others walked away to go get water and snacks. I know... pretty tame. That was only our first discussion though. I have no idea if he thinks I'm attractive too... and honestly, my head isn't 'there' just yet. He just seemed nice and cute. I'd happily talk to him again next time we are at a run together. Get a cute dog. Seriously. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted August 10, 2013 Share Posted August 10, 2013 Get a cute dog. Seriously. Yep... I agree. Except that dogs are very special... almost like children in the amount of care they need to be really happy. Don't do it just to get dates. The dog would be miserable. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted August 10, 2013 Share Posted August 10, 2013 I'm very funny and sarcastic once I get to know you, and learn who you are and what makes you tick. But I'm not one of those funny guys that can just walk up to girls at the bar and crack jokes and get people to laugh. You don't have to pick up strangers. Build your social life so that you interact with women on a regular basis, and build rapport with each interaction. This could simy be a woman who works at your favorite lunch spot, or someone you meet through a friend. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrTurk Posted August 10, 2013 Author Share Posted August 10, 2013 I am leery of men who aggressively approach women. They are usually arrogant. As long as you are approachable and demonstrate interest, all those other things come in time. Again, you don't have to work a crowd, just the woman you are interested in. Where am I supposed to go to show I'm approachable and demonstrate interest?? I'm not being a smartass. I'm being serious. Its easy to throw out generalized suggestions like that....but if I have no social life, and no social circle...I doubt women are going to randomly knock on my front door and want to talk to me Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrTurk Posted August 10, 2013 Author Share Posted August 10, 2013 You don't have to pick up strangers. Build your social life so that you interact with women on a regular basis, and build rapport with each interaction. This could simy be a woman who works at your favorite lunch spot, or someone you meet through a friend. I understand what you mean. But most of the women that work at places around here are 20 yrs old. I'm 42. Most of the advice given in these situations doesnt work for people my age that have no friends and no life. Link to post Share on other sites
iKING Posted August 10, 2013 Share Posted August 10, 2013 Yep... I agree. Except that dogs are very special... almost like children in the amount of care they need to be really happy. Don't do it just to get dates. The dog would be miserable. Indeed they are. I didn't notice it until years after I adopted my little boob, but I get approached probably 10x more often when he's with me. It's a bit of an ice breaker. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrTurk Posted August 10, 2013 Author Share Posted August 10, 2013 Theres married women at work that tell me "You're a nice guy...I'm gonna find a woman for you". But they are just blowing smoke up my ass.....they are just being cordial...but truly dont give a f**k. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted August 10, 2013 Share Posted August 10, 2013 Most of the advice given in these situations doesnt work for people my age that have no friends and no life. And therein lie the real reasons you struggle with dating: you have no friends and no life. It is SO much easier when you meet and interact with women naturally in a social situation. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
iKING Posted August 10, 2013 Share Posted August 10, 2013 Theres married women at work that tell me "You're a nice guy...I'm gonna find a woman for you". But they are just blowing smoke up my ass.....they are just being cordial...but truly dont give a f**k. That's exactly what they're doing. Most individuals probably don't have time to play match maker, people get paid to do that. They're trying to give you a compliment by saying you're dateable. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted August 10, 2013 Share Posted August 10, 2013 I understand what you mean. But most of the women that work at places around here are 20 yrs old. I'm 42. Most of the advice given in these situations doesnt work for people my age that have no friends and no life. Get friends and a life. Pronto. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Weezy1973 Posted August 10, 2013 Share Posted August 10, 2013 Where am I supposed to go to show I'm approachable and demonstrate interest?? I'm not being a smartass. I'm being serious. Its easy to throw out generalized suggestions like that....but if I have no social life, and no social circle...I doubt women are going to randomly knock on my front door and want to talk to me This is going to be a much bigger challenge for your dating life than the qualities you listed in your original post. If you're an average looking guy or below, you're right, women that are strangers aren't going to be attracted to you. I am an average looking guy and here's where all of my previous relationships have come from: social circle, school, work, and work again (different job). They were all women I got to know over time where attraction grew gradually. It's a much better strategy for the average looking person. In fact there's an example of a regular LSer who had no success getting dates - shorter than you, average looking in superficial area (Southern California). He joined a dance class, got to know women over time, and after about a year attraction grew and he ended up dating one. And now spends way less time on LS. In fact there are studies that show that proximity is one of the main components in attraction. In other words you're more likely to be attracted to someone you're around a lot than you are a stranger. So find a hobby, volunteer, take class - put yourself into situations where you'll see people over and over again and can develop a rapport. Even if it is out of your comfort zone... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Red Wolverine Posted August 10, 2013 Share Posted August 10, 2013 Where am I supposed to go to show I'm approachable and demonstrate interest?? I'm not being a smartass. I'm being serious. Its easy to throw out generalized suggestions like that....but if I have no social life, and no social circle...I doubt women are going to randomly knock on my front door and want to talk to me No social circle or life would concern me. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
iKING Posted August 10, 2013 Share Posted August 10, 2013 I just realized that one of the videos I made in my downtime away from work on the network falls back on the topic of making friends. How To Make Friends (And keep them) - YouTube It's more sarcasm, but the laws of power references are actual laws of power. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted August 10, 2013 Share Posted August 10, 2013 I keep hearing this...When did it become bad to be single and child free? Seems like it wiuld be easier to start a life without kids. Not everyone is into single parenthood. Some people have fertility problems. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrTurk Posted August 10, 2013 Author Share Posted August 10, 2013 I keep hearing this...When did it become bad to be single and child free? Seems like it wiuld be easier to start a life without kids. Not everyone is into single parenthood. Some people have fertility problems. Yea..I'd like to know when it became an issue too. But I keep hearing it from more and more single moms, that they refuse to date a guy without kids. It doesnt even make any sense. How in the world do they just assume that any guy with a kid, is automatically better than any guy without??? It's totally illogical if you ask me. Link to post Share on other sites
Red Wolverine Posted August 10, 2013 Share Posted August 10, 2013 Yea..I'd like to know when it became an issue too. But I keep hearing it from more and more single moms, that they refuse to date a guy without kids. It doesnt even make any sense. How in the world do they just assume that any guy with a kid, is automatically better than any guy without??? It's totally illogical if you ask me. I'm not saying I'd refuse to date a man without children but.... If you don't have children, you might want them. I cannot have any more children. Many people who do not have children do not understand the way children change your life. This isn't an elitist perspective, it's simply a life experience that profoundly changes one's approach to life. In my limited post divorce dating experience, I've found men who share custody understand the challenges. Just my POV. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrTurk Posted August 10, 2013 Author Share Posted August 10, 2013 I'm only 5' tall, so 5'8" is good for me. No kids is WONDERFUL. However, the bald thing wouldn't fly. That's the one that would be my dealbreaker. Thats exactly my point The chances of finding a woman that accepts all of my traits is going to be very rare. Most men do not have all 5 of the traits I listed. I would think many of them only have 3, 4 is stretching it, and I bet you'd be hard pressed to find another guy that has 5. Does anyone know another guy that fits all 5??? Link to post Share on other sites
iKING Posted August 10, 2013 Share Posted August 10, 2013 Thats exactly my point The chances of finding a woman that accepts all of my traits is going to be very rare. Most men do not have all 5 of the traits I listed. I would think many of them only have 3, 4 is stretching it, and I bet you'd be hard pressed to find another guy that has 5. Does anyone know another guy that fits all 5??? I'm 5'9 I've shaved my head before and it didn't affect my love life I don't have kids I don't have a college degree I don't have strong religious views None of this has gotten in the way of me dating. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted August 10, 2013 Share Posted August 10, 2013 Thats exactly my point The chances of finding a woman that accepts all of my traits is going to be very rare. Most men do not have all 5 of the traits I listed. I would think many of them only have 3, 4 is stretching it, and I bet you'd be hard pressed to find another guy that has 5. Does anyone know another guy that fits all 5??? A lot of women who list things like baldness as a deal breaker forget all about that when they develop a crush on a bald guy. Happens all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted August 10, 2013 Share Posted August 10, 2013 Yea..I'd like to know when it became an issue too. But I keep hearing it from more and more single moms, that they refuse to date a guy without kids. It doesnt even make any sense. How in the world do they just assume that any guy with a kid, is automatically better than any guy without??? It's totally illogical if you ask me. Ditto...Seems like it would be easier if both parties dont have kids. Truth is no one can look at someone and say why they dont have kids. At the end we dont know what someone's situation is. For example, people might like down on me for being 26 and no kids, but ive struggled with infertility. Link to post Share on other sites
Got it Posted August 10, 2013 Share Posted August 10, 2013 My ex husband was short, no religious views, no kids, no issues. My brother is short and bald, no religious views, no kids, no issues. Maybe all of this *arms flailing wildly* is that they just don't like your attitude. That to me is the most prominent and most unsexy part. It just drips of negativity, victimhood, and just plain depressing. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted August 10, 2013 Share Posted August 10, 2013 Thats exactly my point The chances of finding a woman that accepts all of my traits is going to be very rare. Most men do not have all 5 of the traits I listed. I would think many of them only have 3, 4 is stretching it, and I bet you'd be hard pressed to find another guy that has 5. Does anyone know another guy that fits all 5??? I think Miss Priss has a point. Maybe you should go after smaller statured women? I've dated men who didn't have all the traits I thought i wanted. You just have to give a woman the opportunity to get to know you. Link to post Share on other sites
man_in_the_box Posted August 10, 2013 Share Posted August 10, 2013 Thats exactly my point The chances of finding a woman that accepts all of my traits is going to be very rare. Most men do not have all 5 of the traits I listed. I would think many of them only have 3, 4 is stretching it, and I bet you'd be hard pressed to find another guy that has 5. Does anyone know another guy that fits all 5??? I'm 5'11", my father has a full head of hair and approaching 70, I've almost finished my masters degree, I would like to have children (my own or adopted) and I believe god exists. Considering that the total options I had in my 25 years of existence equals one you might understand why I don't think that list means much. Its impossible to approach the world of dating and love with such a simple concept. Its completely illogical if you ask me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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