Feeling depresed after being used

[aljo1]

Hello, everyone. I'm feeling depressed after making the biggest mistake in my life. I met this girl who is an exotic dancer in El Salvador, she gave me her phone number and all, and I started calling her from here, like every week or two. That was back on february when I met her, we set up a date to see each other, but I never saw her after waiting for 2 hours--I should have known back then that she wasjust playing games. Anyways, I kept communicating with her, she seemed kind and sincere. I discovered so much about her, that she had one 4 year old kid, that she lived with her family, her sister, brother in law, grandmother, niece. I felt she was needy, so everytime she asked me for some money to help her with, I sent her the money. I told her that I wasfeeling motivated to go back to El Salvador, to see her and get to know her better personally. When I finally did, I met her the same day I arrived over there, the second day seem promising, by the third day I saw her-I realized that she was not grateful for anything that I have given her, financially, emotionally. She told me all theses lies and everytime I saw her she would ask me for money(She's an exotic dancer) I told her I didn't want to come to that place where she works anymore, then she said let's meet at this place and have a good time tommorrow-I wnent to that place waited an hour or more, she was never there. Herexcuses were, her mom got sck, she had to go tothe hospital--that one day they robbed her cellular phone, and I couldn't believe her anymore. I never thought somebody was promising so much, to steal my hard earned money by telling me lies. I know it's been my mistake, I should have taken it easy-I looked inthe wrong place--what I looked for is what I got.

I felt so empty, at the end I just wanted to feel corresponded, nothing else. All I wanted was a beautiful friendship, somebody to enjoy sometime with, but all I got was a fake I love you, I want you, I don't want to lose you phrases.

Now I'm back to whee I started it before, with a good lesson learned. I'm a bit depressed because I know that in part it was my fault.

Wht's the best advise to know when somebody doesn't want anything from you but use you? How would one tell?

[SadAndLonely]

Don't ever give money to someone you hardly know. Don't ever give money to someone unless you're perfectly fine with never seeing it again. If you have a problem with this, write "loan" on the bottom of the check or make out a signed agreement to protect yourself.

[aljo1]

You're right and thank you for the advice Sad and lonely. I paid a lot for my mistake, but I also learned a lot. prsn i not going to like me for whatever amount of money I give to them, no matter how needy they are-if they ask me for that...something is not going well-I need to move on and find somebody else.

nyways, it's sad w some ladies can just lie to you and teal your money, not for revenge but to teach her a lesson--I could go for a lawsuit, I got the proofs how much money I sent her. To do that, I need to go back to El Salvador again and find some time to do that. Otherwise, I should simply go to her job and report her with her manager. You think I should do that?

It's not fair for people like that to just keep doing whatever they're doing, laughing behind anybody's back just stealing money out of their lies. If she never feels sorry for me or other people, why should I feel sorry for her?

[DayumQuitPlayin]

I've heard these kinda stories before.

I'm sorry that it has happened to you. How long have you known this woman? How did you two meet? El Salvador.. Wow.. what kind of work do you do?

 

Anyways, most Dancers.. make good money. Atleast.. I can speak because my Mom used to Dance.. and she wheeled in alot of money.. and some of my friends also. She asked for some money.. that makes me wonder why. Did she ever tell you why she needed this extra money? And when you've given her money.. what would she say.. she ever told you that she would repay you?

 

If you want to take her to court for this.. It would only work..if it was agreed that it was a loan.. and you would have to show proof of that. But assuming that this transaction was made in South America.. I'm not sure how their court system works.. but I can only imagine that it would be much more difficult than the States.

 

Anyway.. I'm sure that you've invested alot in this 'relationship' so I'm sorry to hear of your depression.. I would be depressed too.. also Angry. But one thing I do know is that.. I would never give money to someone like that. Especially if I haven't known that person for some time. Her being a Dancer.. would raise suspicions anyway. Another thing is.. and keep in mind that these are just assumptions.. but assuming that you're american (question) ..she may have tried to persuade you into believing that you are special to her.. making you believe she loved you.. to get you to give her money for whatever reasons. Did you guys ever talk about some sort of relationship.. an intimate one? And how you guys would work it out? From hearing stories like these.. they always try to snag guys by saying the 'I Love You' phrase.

[aljo1]

Thank you for the reply, Dayumquitplay. We met in the club where she works at--and it was really all my fault: I daed with 4 girls, and asked each of them if they had a boyfriend--two were sincere to tell me that they do, and two said they didn't. The last girl who danced with me was her,and right away she gave me her phome #(celular) I'm Salvadorian just like her, so there was no communication barriers.

Anyways, I told her that on my return to the States, I was going to call her and write her e-mails--which I did(we saw each other twice back in February). The first time she asked me to lend her money was like 2 months after communicating--she never used the word give me, but lend me. She as telling me that she didn't get along with some of the dancers, that she would rather be working somewhere else(but where else could she be seducing people and pulling lies to make extra cash?). Everything sounded so promising romantically--until I came back to El Salvador I found out that the girl was an empty person who had no respect, or consideration about me. I know, she could be a nice person, a single mother supproting her 4 year old son, somebody who is working/studying at the same time(she's studying English and Computing), but she wasn't nice to me.

Maybe I should harrass her on the phone, let that phone ring, when she anser, hang it, and just bother her like that--I know That even though she said lend me money, but I only have the proof that I sent her some money--and I'm my only witness--even though I woudn't win the case, at least that would bring her some shame to go to court and all that trouble. I don't know, at the end I continue to be the loser for being so foolish. Aaaahhh!!!

I'm more dissapointed at myself, thinking how easy is for me to say yes, give money, and lnowig that I gave so much, rissked so much to be back to zero again. I'm back to where I ws before with a little bit more insecurity--I don't know if it would take me a lot to find a nice girlfriend, one that I would like and that would like me back--somebody with nice feelings, caring and fun to be with kind of person.