help me plz im in need of it!!! im in love!!!!! i want her back!!!

[dtothej99]

hi my names derek, i really need help guys, its just that i really want a second chance. i dated this gurl and shes do awesome, its jsut so wonderful how much i love her. she says there is still a spark, and i want it to stay that way, but i fear it willnot. we broke up because she realized i still loved my x girlfriend. she wanted to give me a chance with her. but i tried and failed horribly, nbut im glad becuase it made me get over my x realizing she was not something i should bother with. now i want this gurl i just broke up with back. it was a mutual break up but i feel like i dithced her or suttin. i really want her back and i jsut dont kno how to go about doing it. cuz right now we are like best friends and i want to be more than that. i want to give it a second chance, and if its meant to be, then it'll work out, if its not then it wont. i just want to kno for sure, cuz i really like her. i just dont kno how to go about asking her for a second chance without ruining our friendship now, like if she says no, and thinks im stalking her or suttin. i dont know plz someone jsut help me out. IM IN NEED OF HELP. I LOVE H ER SO MUCH, WITH ALL MY HEART! and now that ive lost her (relationship wise) i realize wut ive lost, and i want it back. jsut someone tell me how to go about getting her back, if its possible PLZ!

- derek

[lap21]

hhhmmmm,

so you two broke up so you could try it on with your ex.. but that didn't work out so now you think you want her back?

 

i hope you aren't confusing love, and your feelings for her as a best friend, and the fact that you are lonely and are missing that someone special in your life. going back to your ex, because you think you love her.. but then it turns out you dont... how do you know that going back with this girl wont arise the same result? perhaps you are unsure of what you really want..

 

if not, she is probably worried that thats what you are thinking. it would be hard to be with someone, then watch them go back to their ex.. that wouldn't be something you wanted to jump back into straight away.

 

and friendships are great. if you really do love her, then hanging out as great mates will be fine, until you know how you feel, and you know how she feels. if it is going to happen, it will happen, without much discussion about it. talking about relationships isn't needed, the best relationships are the ones where you just wake up one day and realise that you are in one without even really noticing it happening!

 

be patient, all will work out for the best. if she really is a great friend, then jumping into a relationship may jeporadise that. so will telling the girl you love her when she doesn't feel the same

[cleoelliptical]

I am in the same exact situation you are in, except the other way around. I am the girl with the guy who was still hung up on his ex...baggage to the extreme that he was comparing me to her. I broke it off with him the first time after he said, "Becuz of my ex, I don't wanna use the term boyfriend and girlfriend." Then we worked it out and got back together with him, and the second time, I broke it off again for another reason and he blames it on the ex again, using when the term, "Becuz of my ex, I know what love is, and I don't love you like I did her."

 

We're still friends now, why, cuz we get along so well. But I'm sure it's not the best thing for us when he needs to work out his issues alone.

 

But now you want her back. First ask yourself, do you want her back cuz your afraid of being alone? And second, do you want her back becuz she is everything to you and breaking it off has made you see things clearly? Whichever the answer is, in truth, this is harsh, but what you did was completely selfish and self-indulgent.

 

If you want to win her back, she needs to see that you can be honest, open, and caring and most definately trusting friends. You played with her heart; gaining her trust will be difficult for even though you may be best friends, she will always be wondering if you will do this again to her. (If your ex turns a new leaf, will you go running back to her...I suggest no more contact with your ex.)

 

And if she is the one to you, put in the effort to show her this. And tell her. Tell her how you screwed up and why (and flowers always help to soften things up ). Don't expect her to magically fall back into your arms, but let her know that you want to work things out.

 

And then finally before you do this, ask yourself, after all the pain you have caused her, do you even deserve her. And if you think not, ask what type of man does she deserve and be that man.

[Puma]

ya have to sort out ur feelings..and acknowledge what iit is youwant right now! ya seem confused man..thats not good if ya watn ur ex back..whichever one it may be. u were playin ur feelings with two girls and ya got the best of ya..cause now im not sure if ur ex will want ya back knowing taht you had to see if ya could get back with ur prior ex. even then..if she wants ya back..it woudl take time, i dont think shes gonna be ahppy and be like "oh thats great honey that it didnt work out with ur ex..lets get together again [open arms]" why shoudl she do taht if you couldnt even decide if ya loved her till now, when things didnt work out with the other ex?? ur being a bit unfair i think. what if she would tell ya that she didnt want to see you no more cause she wanted to give her ex another try? how would that make ya feel? would you accept that and be happy or would that bother you? i think ya should sit down and figure ya stuff out before u get in th habit of confusin ur feelings, which could eventaully hurt u in the long run..CHILL