lostNconfusedx10 Posted November 4, 2004 Share Posted November 4, 2004 Broken up for 3 months, talked to her almost once a week sometimes 2- 3 times a week since. asked her out for drinks last week to which she said ya but she had to tell me that she was "starting to see someone" first just so i knew before we went out. I told her i dated someone for a month and it didnt work out and she got REAL curious about it. Called me a few times in the next few days only to cancel drinks about an hour before. She called me the day before on her ride home from work cause she went home sick and called me the next morining telling me that she didnt goto work that day either and was unsure if she would feel well enough to go out that night so i know her reason for cancelling was somewhat legit. Decided to go with NC which lasted 3 days after the canceled date when she started text messaging me. She text messaged me the past 3 days in a row at like 8:45 int he morning which is on her way to work. Stupid things like "did you go out sunday" "i went to the red sox parade" "have you still not smoked yet?" (we coincidently stopped smoking ont he same day) I made sure to reply like 12 hours later and 5 hours later and with short answers and didnt just reply one day. She is obviously thinking about me when she wakes up but wont call me....she just text messages me. What is most likly going through her head and what should i do? Should i continue to not contact her and see what she does? Is she looking for me to call her?? It seems that since she found out i had seen someone that her interest level went up in me. And why these random text messages so early in the morning? she knows im in school at that time and cant reply back to her. Link to post Share on other sites
head/heels Posted November 4, 2004 Share Posted November 4, 2004 keep up no contact!.................she will come back or she wont.........either way it has to be on her terms Link to post Share on other sites
pancakepalace Posted November 19, 2004 Share Posted November 19, 2004 I believe you need to dance with her. First some facts: 1 You both kept talking with each other thru the whole breakup 2 She has suddenly been craving you more since she heard the news of your new-ex-girl. (1) This, to me, means you had a strong link and so she couldn't just break it easily. Good. (2) This surely is a sudden rise of interest because of the new girl. What you don't know is wether it is there to stay or is just a last burst of intensity towards you. With a dance you will find this out. Doing the dance. The dance is the act of taking a step and seeing where the other takes you with his step in return. Only then can you decide what you second step will be, and after that she decides her second step, Then, you, your third and so on. To start the dance you need dash of mystery. I believe you can achieve this in a simple way. The first thing you have already done. The no-contact...very good. Now do these simple steps. 1 - Wait for a real reply from her (her first step). Litte text messages don't count. 2 - If she doesn't reply clearly for a week, then do a more severe no-contact. 3 - If she still does not reply get one who does. 4 - If she replies by going out for a coffee or something, be extra nice to her but don't talk about the relationship. But, give her lots of attention (The one you weren't giving her in the no contact). 5 - Then repeat no-contact with spurts of EXTRA-attention for awhile until you get her back. By doing this dance of I WANT YOU! (attention), I AM NOT SURE (no-contact), she will start to wonder what is going on and think of you even more (This is what the other girl did to her BTW). She will enter a craze of HE LOVES ME, HE LOVES ME NOT. She will be constantly be wondering what is in your mind and start to chasing you. That other girlfriend of yours was benefical because it unbalanced relationship breakup. You are to keep this unbalance for awhile if you want to know if she truly loves you. If you take her back to eagerly it will mean nothing. Dance with her and see if she will dance back and for how long. Be mysterious, advanturous, unattentive - ATTENTIVE, beware, vulnerable. Contact a lot - Contact none. Mix up. Repeat. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Puma Posted November 19, 2004 Share Posted November 19, 2004 sorry to hear ur situation bro, but i think her interest sparked again yes. use that to ur advantage now! pancakepalace..does that dance thing work or what?? it seems liek a rollercoaster..what if the girl dont liek to play games and gets tired of that? Link to post Share on other sites
pancakepalace Posted November 19, 2004 Share Posted November 19, 2004 Sorry to hear ur situation bro, but i think her interest sparked again yes. use that to ur advantage now! pancakepalace..does that dance thing work or what?? it seems liek a rollercoaster..what if the girl dont liek to play games and gets tired of that?[/b] I believe the dance works. I don't believe its playing a game. If it is, it is the game of seduction. This is the game we usually play at the beggining of a relationship without knowing it. When we are not sure if the other person is interested. Of course, you don't do it till she is bored. That is why you have to wait to see her next step. Action-Reaction. You have to be subtle. If she truly is interested in you, she won't get bored fast. Her interest sparked and now it's time for you to act appropriately - to find out if she really wants you - don't run to her like a puppy. good luck! Here is detailed description of the dance -- http://www.sosuave.com/articles/dance.htm Tell me what you think?! Link to post Share on other sites
Author lostNconfusedx10 Posted November 19, 2004 Author Share Posted November 19, 2004 thanks alot man! That seems like it should prolly work. I posted that..well...umm....post like a week or two ago and things have gone a litttle better. She text messages me everyday and if i reply at a time when she's not working, she calls me right away. She invited me for coffee the other night. She said "maybe we could meet up for coffee later. I went home sick from work so im gonna take a nap but ill call you when i wake up". But of course she never called me back. I wonder if she's purposly trying to play a game. Like hey im gonna put my self out there a little bit and see if he dives at it. Its the second time we were supposed to do something but she punked out both times. She's seeing someone else too but she doesnt seem all that happy. She always seems bummed and depressed. I guess time will just tell. Thanks for that "dance" thing. I'm definetly going to try it out!! Link to post Share on other sites
Puma Posted November 19, 2004 Share Posted November 19, 2004 yeah do that lost then tell us how it works out to follow after ya once i get to that level hope for the best bud, go get em! Link to post Share on other sites
Author lostNconfusedx10 Posted November 20, 2004 Author Share Posted November 20, 2004 For some reason it seems like there is already some sort of dance going on between us, but im gonna step it up a notch. It took some self restraint but today i text messaged her with a crappy message around 1030am saying that it stinks that i have to work till 1230am tonight. She didnt text me back but around 11pm she actually called me. It was a short convo. She just asked how working late was (x-mas retail hours ugggg) and we shot the shat for maybe 2-3mins. She actually sounded depressed and had to get off the phone. She had a beep and said "errg, can i call you right back?" I said sure and she never called me back. Thats where the self restraint came in where i DIDNT call her when she never called back. It was 11 on a friday and she has a new man. She did not sound happy to get that beep. I wonder if her relationship is falling to shambles? She def hasnt been happy lately. I'm planning on not contacting her until she does me or at least till after the weekend. I'm doing the right thing by not falling into her little trap right? I even wonder if she has just been throwing little tests at me. She invited me for coffee and said i'll call you later after a nap and we'll go out. She never called back.....i held strong. She just text me the next day saying sorry she felt sick. I told her it was ok cause i went out to dinner anyways and who i was with, which just happened to be my ex before her from 2 years ago...hahaha. She acted ok with it but i dont think she liked it very much. I feel like im in the drivers seat as far as she's not toying with my emotions, I may be toying with hers but she is the one that asks me the questions. I dont maliciously try to enrage jealousy, she just continues to ask about my sex life. any comments or directions would be great! Link to post Share on other sites
head/heels Posted November 20, 2004 Share Posted November 20, 2004 i repeat do not FU(K anyone while you are on a break as it will never be able to be repaired...she will not get over it ever... good luck on the chastity for now! good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author lostNconfusedx10 Posted November 20, 2004 Author Share Posted November 20, 2004 even thoguh she has a new man that she has been dating which it is pretty easy to assume she has slept with? Link to post Share on other sites
pancakepalace Posted November 20, 2004 Share Posted November 20, 2004 I agree with head/heels about not dating anyone. And you don't have to be totally honest at all times when she is asking you questions. I am not sure if telling her you were with your ex (unless you usually saw her anyhow) is a good thing. Maybe. Don't be negative with her either - talking about your crappy day at work etc... Be mysterious. Some of your answers can be fluffy. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
head/heels Posted November 22, 2004 Share Posted November 22, 2004 i think you shouldnt do anything with someone (like sex- whatever else should be pretty much ok as long as you think she would be okay with it since she might be doing same thing) since you are not sure that she is doing anything with him........ i guess just sit tight and go and do your thing...if it happens then make sure it is for your morals and self respect and not because you are horny and you miss her and you wont ever talk to this girl again... that would only make it all so much worse! Link to post Share on other sites
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