Carlos_tlewis Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 Hello! Looking for some advice here and if anyone has been here before I would love you input. It's a long story but will cut it down. I traveled Australia in 2009 and meet a girl who I've stayed friend with ever since, nothing ever happened and never looked at her in that way (although I did like here). Fast toward to 2012 we decided to Travel New Zealand together, we booked flights together etc. but I let her down and dropped out as I fell in love with a girl and was happy... But after the date came that I should have been leaving for NZ I wondered what I would be missing etc. so me and my girlfriend at the time split up on good terms as she knew I wanted to go.* My friend went out in Oct 2012 with two girls and I came out in Jan 2013 on my own, we said we had to meet up etc. I traveled all around NZ the found a job in one of the city's, I still hadn't meet my friend at this point... Anyways after four months in the job I decided I wanted a change and would move to the same town as my friend, she said they had a spare room in there apartment, so I'm now sharing the apartment with my friend and one of the girls she came out with. I'm a flirty kinda guy and so is my friend so we get on really well, we would hug, have a little touchy feely thing, would often spoon in her bed. One night I had one of my male friends round and he ended up staying the night with my other flat mate, this nite I decided to stay in my friends bed, we talked and agreed we could never do more as it would probs ruin our friendship.... Anyways things did happen, everything but sex. It felt good, next day we were both happy and joked about it (wasn't awkward). I went out and she text me saying basically what we said in bed that nothing can happen, I respected that and spoke to her when I got home and agreed, but some how we decided we could be friends with benefits but as soon as it got serious we would call it a day! Our flat mate never new anything was going on, we carried on as usual but we would obviously have sex etc in secret. My friends admitted she would love me as boyfriend but not now, we're both traveling and want to do different things in life right now, I felt the same and agreed and we carried on even tho we had obviously fallen for each others. Anyways my two house mates were talking and my friend admitted to liking me etc, my other house mate was fine and said it was cute and she even said if you are going to sleep with him make sure it's not just a one might stand as I think he wants more. My friend told me this. So we had sex and we told our house mate(even tho we had had it before but she didn't know) and she went quiet... Didn't really say to much. My friend asked her if everything was ok when they were alone and our flat mate assured everything was ok. The other morning I woke up and my flat mate said *to me 'I heard you having sex last night so can I put one request in that you do it when I'm out as I feel awkward leaving my room to even go to the toilet' we didn't have sex that night or day (and i was in my own bed) so explained and she kept insisting we did so I got my friend to speak to her about it. My flat mate apologised and said she doesn't know what she herd then. Then a bit later she asked to speak to us both and she said she feels awkward with us flirting etc and feels like the third person and doesn't feel comfortable living in her own home when we were doing stuff. I said she should always feel comfortable and used an example of when my mates been over they have been having sex and showing effective towards each other and we just carry on as usual. Now I feel awkward, my friend doesn't know how to talk to me etc as she's scared it will upset our flat mate... I don't feel I can be myself as I'm the sorta guy who uses flirty banter in my body language. Sorry for the long message, I'm just very confused to what to do and upset about it as I feel like I've kinda lost my friend now. How would you take this? Thanks in advance :-) Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 Tell her to mind her own business. She's jealous. She has feelings for you, or wants to have a relationship too, and feels she's missing out. Or maybe she's a prude. But the fact that she went weird when you guys told her, and that she 'imagined' she heard you guys having sex, means it's playing on her mind. If your FWB was bringing another BF home now and then, she probably wouldn't care half as much, but I think she's letting personal feelings get in the way of 'business' (being house-mates is a contracted agreement. It's 'business'.) look, you have three solutions to this: Both you and your FWB find another place to rent/stay in and get out of the place. Quit having sex. Tell her that actually, as consenting adults, it's none of her business, there's nothing in the rental contract against it, and she's letting her emotions interfere. She has no right to make things awkward for you. Believe it or not, this is HER problem, not yours. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Carlos_tlewis Posted August 11, 2013 Author Share Posted August 11, 2013 I just can't put my finger on it, like to why she has a problem. I've been texting my FWB today even tho we've been home, but it's hard when our other flat mate is there are we're both worried we will 'upset' her again. I'm thinking of moving out, my FWB can't as she's on the agreement with her mate (the other flat mate). Me and my friend are gonna go out tomorrow and have a chat about it all, by sounds of it she's going towards not doing anything anymore... Which is rather annoying when we were both happy! Thanks for your reply, much appreciated! Link to post Share on other sites
PlumPrincess Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 That was a very long-winded story which you could have shortened to: I have a FWB situation with one of my flatmates going on and my other flatmate is uncomfortable with that. What can I do about it? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 That was a very long-winded story which you could have shortened to: I have a FWB situation with one of my flatmates going on and my other flatmate is uncomfortable with that. What can I do about it? Couldn't agree more. My reply would have been equally condensed. It's none of her damn business. She's just jealous. tell her to butt out. Link to post Share on other sites
aspiringuitarheroine Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 You shat where you eat. You NEVER s--t where you eat! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Carlos_tlewis Posted August 11, 2013 Author Share Posted August 11, 2013 Yep sorry! Taken that on board for next time ha. Link to post Share on other sites
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