mattyTK500 Posted November 4, 2004 Share Posted November 4, 2004 I'm 18 years old and i was going out with my girlfriend jessica on and off for 2 years. We;ve never really had an awesome relashionship. We never went out and did exciting things which i regret but we loved each other none-the-less. To make a long story short i cheated on her with a girl who used to be her best friend, but is now her worst enemy because they both liked me at the same time...I have no idea why i did it, i guess i was just horny and drunk and not thinking. I love jessica more then anybody i know. She broke up with me when she got back from her trip and found out what had happend, for a long time she was mad at me and wouldnt speak to me or got mad when i tried to talk to her. It's been about 2 months and weve talked alot, she says she wants to be friends but she has no feelings for me anymore. I know shes still mad about what happend so i don't know if she really means that she doesnt love me anymore or not. We've broken up and gotten back together before a few times over the past few years. One instance after we had been apart for 3 or 4 months she said that she didnt feel right with any other guys and that she wanted to try again. So im really confused, i dont know what to think about us anymore and im not sure if i should keep trying or just abandon all hope. I've sent her flowers and told her im sorry like more times then i've taken breaths, she knows i still love her but has lost all trust for me. I feel like maybe if im her friend for a while and show her she can still trust me that she will realise she still loves me, i just know her feelings for me havent gone away this quickly after everything weve been through. I really need a girls opinion on this HELP!!!!!!! please i'll do anything humanly possible to get her back i love her too much to let her go, and i feel like i owe it to her to start over and make it right. Link to post Share on other sites
tattoomytoe Posted November 4, 2004 Share Posted November 4, 2004 well the best thing you can do for her is to give her time and space to heal and come to terms for herself with what you did. it sounds like you are being supportive of her, which helps, just do not get too involved yet. it is such a slap in the face when someone you love is intimate with some other person, double if it is someone you already know. Link to post Share on other sites
EC Posted November 4, 2004 Share Posted November 4, 2004 TRIPLE if it's now your worse enemy. I'm sorry to say it but things will probably never be the same as they were before and I don't think she could ever see you the same way again. She does need a lot of time to heal though and if she does decide to give you a second chance you better be in it for the right reasons and not screw up again. Also expect that if you do get back together she will not trust you and you will have trust issues to deal with and it will take time...But if you love her as much as you say you do you can work through it. I think just give her her space and be her friend and show her you can be there for her and earn her trust back little by little. Actions speak louder than words. Link to post Share on other sites
morrigan Posted November 4, 2004 Share Posted November 4, 2004 Your ex girlfriend has told you she doesn't want to be involved with you at this time. Respect her decision, even if this isn't what you want. Possibly down the road, you may be able to have a friendship with her, but it is going to be painful for you both to try to see eachother at this point. It honestly sounds like your relationship was volatile--repeated breakups--and while cheating with this other girl didn't help the situation, it was only a part of the problems you two had. Right now, focus on improving yourself, realize the mistakes you have made, try to keep from making those same mistakes again. Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted November 4, 2004 Share Posted November 4, 2004 Originally posted by morrigan Your ex girlfriend has told you she doesn't want to be involved with you at this time. Respect her decision, even if this isn't what you want. Possibly down the road, you may be able to have a friendship with her, but it is going to be painful for you both to try to see each other at this point. It honestly sounds like your relationship was volatile--repeated breakups--and while cheating with this other girl didn't help the situation, it was only a part of the problems you two had. I agree, your relationship didn't sound too sh*t hot to begin with. Why would you want to go rushing back? We've never really had an awesome relationship. We never went out and did exciting things which i regret but we loved each other none-the-less. Sometime it's too late for regrets. I think you should take some time out, stay away from her for a little while & really try to figure out why you love her so much. Is it just comfortable? You've known each other from an early age so maybe it's just got too easy to fall back into the same old routines & relationships - that isn't love. I think you should do what morrigan suggested: Right now, focus on improving yourself, realize the mistakes you have made, try to keep from making those same mistakes again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mattyTK500 Posted November 4, 2004 Author Share Posted November 4, 2004 I love her because shes perfect, not perfect in everyones eyes but perfect in mine. Just thinking about her can change my mood, it used to make me happy but obviously not anymore. Shes worth fighting for and i know what an amazing relashionship we CAN have and i guess thats why i want to fix it. I feel like shes the one im meant to be with, i just need to get my act together and realise i was the problem and maybe im the only one who can fix it... Link to post Share on other sites
tattoomytoe Posted November 4, 2004 Share Posted November 4, 2004 good for you matty....taking responsibilty. one thing that a good relationship takes is maturity from both parties. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mattyTK500 Posted November 4, 2004 Author Share Posted November 4, 2004 the only problem is now all her friends hate me. not that she has ever listened or cared what her friends think of me but it doesnt help. im really not sure where to go from here i wish i could make her know how big of a mistake it was and that she really can trust me with anything. Link to post Share on other sites
tattoomytoe Posted November 4, 2004 Share Posted November 4, 2004 that is the thing....you can't make her trust you....she will have to develope her own trust with you on her own, and that comes with time. my bf cheated on me in july, on i have just started to FOR real trust him again....i say for real because it is trust that he will not do it again. It is still really hard for me sometimes though...like even typing this, it worries me that it will not be case, in the back of my mind.... i just cannot think about it too much. even the other night i dreamt he cheated and was laughing at me. i was soo upset in the morning. Not at him, but the feelings of mistrust that i experienced. it just makes me uneasy to think about it. Link to post Share on other sites
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