Pookie5 Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 (edited) Basically: I have posted a post regarding my situation before and I really need some more advice regarding a very scary issue. Long story short: i was in love with this guy (a cousin/ my culture prefers cousin marriages) when i was 14. he basically talked to me on skype till i was 17 and then he raped me --> forced me into abortion--> said he's gonna marry me--> physically and mentally abused me and continued to force me into sex--> eventually my dad caught him cursing me off and told him to stay away. Current problem: He has been very nice to me lately and apologized to me and promised he's trying to be on the right path and that he has realized that there was a baby between us and that we are one family and that he needs to change into a good person. blah blah.. that he cares about me. for the past two weeks we have been talking and a couple days back we Facetimed. he made a stupid remark about me how i should change in front of him, but i thought he was joking so i continued talking about whatever. then after that he started blowing me off and going out at night and not asking me romantic questions like he did every night like how much i love him and if i will love him forever and what not. i assumed he's busy with work and what not. he claims to be praying and following our religion. then yesterday i asked him if he wanted to facetime and his reply was you have to strip for me bc im horny and wanna **** or else i wont facetime with you. i thought he was kidding.. and hes like no seriously no facetime unless you strip... im like wtf... no.. so he's like ur acting like ive never seen you naked. im like you wont see me like that until we are married. his response was well if we dont get married (which makes no sense because our mothers have said we are set to marry) then will i ever see you naked. i said no... then you will def not. hes like wow that's just stupid.. hes like im off to sleep. bye.. i said i loveyou and he said alright.. bye. i called him five mins later 5 times and he didnt pick up.. i think hes trying to frame me because he's afraid of somehting : my theory is that since he's planning to go to his home country and hes turning 25, and obsessed with sex. his mother and sister probably want him to be married. so they are probably getting a chick from there for him.. the problem is that their son has committed rape and verbal,mental, physical abuse in this country. If he marries someone and brings her here, obviously he's gonna be in jail.. and his entire family will suffer. the pics he took of me for blackmailing were when i was under 18 and that is illegal and that will put him in jail.. so i think he's being super nice and stuff to get me to send him pics again.. and since im over 18.. he can photoshop them. (this happens a lot in his home country) and lie i was the whore that pushed him. so he can marry and do whatever he wants.. what do you guys think i should do.. i think i shouldn't even talk to him again.. should never call him.. Edited August 11, 2013 by Pookie5 Link to post Share on other sites
New User Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 Basically: I have posted a post regarding my situation before and I really need some more advice regarding a very scary issue. Long story short: i was in love with this guy (a cousin/ my culture prefers cousin marriages) when i was 14. he basically talked to me on skype till i was 17 and then he raped me --> forced me into abortion--> said he's gonna marry me--> physically and mentally abused me and continued to force me into sex--> eventually my dad caught him cursing me off and told him to stay away. Current problem: He has been very nice to me lately and apologized to me and promised he's trying to be on the right path and that he has realized that there was a baby between us and that we are one family and that he needs to change into a good person. blah blah.. that he cares about me. for the past two weeks we have been talking and a couple days back we Facetimed. he made a stupid remark about me how i should change in front of him, but i thought he was joking so i continued talking about whatever. then after that he started blowing me off and going out at night and not asking me romantic questions like he did every night like how much i love him and if i will love him forever and what not. i assumed he's busy with work and what not. he claims to be praying and following our religion. then yesterday i asked him if he wanted to facetime and his reply was you have to strip for me bc im horny and wanna **** or else i wont facetime with you. i thought he was kidding.. and hes like no seriously no facetime unless you strip... im like wtf... no.. so he's like ur acting like ive never seen you naked. im like you wont see me like that until we are married. his response was well if we dont get married (which makes no sense because our mothers have said we are set to marry) then will i ever see you naked. i said no... then you will def not. hes like wow that's just stupid.. hes like im off to sleep. bye.. i said i loveyou and he said alright.. bye. i called him five mins later 5 times and he didnt pick up.. i think hes trying to frame me because he's afraid of somehting : my theory is that since he's planning to go to his home country and hes turning 25, and obsessed with sex. his mother and sister probably want him to be married. so they are probably getting a chick from there for him.. the problem is that their son has committed rape and verbal,mental, physical abuse in this country. If he marries someone and brings her here, obviously he's gonna be in jail.. and his entire family will suffer. the pics he took of me for blackmailing were when i was under 18 and that is illegal and that will put him in jail.. so i think he's being super nice and stuff to get me to send him pics again.. and since im over 18.. he can photoshop them. (this happens a lot in his home country) and lie i was the whore that pushed him. so he can marry and do whatever he wants.. what do you guys think i should do.. i think i shouldn't even talk to him again.. should never call him.. I think you're right. Not really following the talk of him winding up in jail though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pookie5 Posted August 11, 2013 Author Share Posted August 11, 2013 Well that's personal. He's gonna end up in jail for raping a girl. Rape is a crime. Link to post Share on other sites
New User Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 Well that's personal. He's gonna end up in jail for raping a girl. Rape is a crime. Well, it sounds like you know the right path to take. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 Basically: I have posted a post regarding my situation before and I really need some more advice regarding a very scary issue. This is a problem of your making... Your father told him to stay away. Why the hell would you renew a friendship with someone so despicable, who raped you?? That's just ridiculous. And frankly, I really don't care about culture and marrying cousins. The guy's a criminal, a creep, a liar and a manipulator. Why are you even posting the question....? You've answered it yourself!! 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pookie5 Posted August 11, 2013 Author Share Posted August 11, 2013 I know but sometimes, i think maybe i am too negative Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 I doubt any religion condones a woman to marry her rapist. And you're intentionally seeking him out and wanting to relive your past. Find some self-confidence through loving yourself more and please stop thinking this guy actually wants you. That's delusional. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 How the hell can you be 'too negative' about a man who - raped me --> forced me into abortion--> said he's gonna marry me--> physically and mentally abused me and continued to force me into sex--> Then - his reply was you have to strip for me bc im horny and wanna **** or else i wont facetime with you. i thought he was kidding.. and hes like no seriously no facetime unless you strip... Too negative?!!? You're kidding.... right - ?!? I'd be hunting him down with a whale harpoon and I'd fire it at close range through his trouser furniture!! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pookie5 Posted August 11, 2013 Author Share Posted August 11, 2013 Okay I will gather evidence and protect myself. I also need to seek some counseling and realize i shouldn't love such a criminal Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 You shouldn't even be giving him the time of day, let alone 'loving' him!! have you told your father he's been back in touch and told you to strip?? I think you should... next time you talk to him, ask for 'facetime' again, but get your dad to witness the reply.... That will hopefully put an end to all, any and every contact you have with him, period, and finish this once and for all!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pookie5 Posted August 11, 2013 Author Share Posted August 11, 2013 okay I agree. I agree. I just need some help because ever since we had a baby, ive been super emotional and trying to fix things Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 WHO had a baby...?!? Link to post Share on other sites
forgetmenot75 Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 Please go to a counselor. You need help. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 Or a Mod because she's "Tro.lling"..... Jeesh.... Link to post Share on other sites
forgetmenot75 Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 ooopps! Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 They have a second equally 'dramatic' thread going.... Link to post Share on other sites
charlietheginger Posted August 12, 2013 Share Posted August 12, 2013 I was raped impregnated forced to abort now were friends...... excuse me while i check my car insurance rates :rolleyes:s I just saved alot of money by switching to gieco ! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted August 12, 2013 Share Posted August 12, 2013 You're not seriously thinking of marrying the guy who raped and abused you, are you? You should not have to do that. If your family are pressuring you to do this, then they are guilty of abuse too. You seem to have a very mixed up idea of what a relationship should be about. His behaviour is appalling and you have no obligation to him. You are right in that he could be taken to court for rape and abuse, if you reported him. It sounds like you are thinking of marrying him, not reporting him. It is all very mixed up and bizarre. He has is obsessed with sex and does not care what he does to get it. Whatever you do, don't go along with his requests for pictures or anything. Keep away from the guy and seek protection - if your family will not protect you, then social services or the police might. Please contact helplines for victims of rape and sexual abuse. It seems to me that because he abused you when you were so young, you have mixed up feelings about him as you are still relating to him (or trying to). I think you are at risk from this guy. A guy who will rape a young girl and then try to get her to send photos when older, is pretty sick and dangerous. Who knows what he will resort to next. You need protection from this guy. I think a rape crisis centre or similar women's organisation will be able to give you the support and guidance you need to protect you from this guy. It doesn't sound as if your family are protecting you. I can't see how they can fail to be aware that any of this has been going on. Good luck and please seek help. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pookie5 Posted August 12, 2013 Author Share Posted August 12, 2013 Thank you for the kind response. I am having mixed feelings i guess because he was my first love and i trusted him because of family. and I am just trying to fix things one step at a time. As for the baby thing, a soul enters at the time of conception according to my beliefs, so my baby was alive at one time. Please be respectful. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 (edited) You want random people on a forum to be respectful? So you understand the concept of respect. But don't in the least believe you deserve it or want it for yourself when it comes to this piece of garbage? A man rapes you, asks you to strip, forces you to abort, physically and mentally abuses you and you're asking US to be respectful? Please speak to your parents and have them help you get help. If a woman chooses to love and be with her rapist and abuser, I don't believe anyone here can help you break out from your issues. Seek professional help. Edited August 15, 2013 by Zahara Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts