Ladies, is it true? I want to hear from you

[Kaiten]

Greetings ladies (and nosy gentlemen),

 

I will get straight to the point. I had a pretty difficult break up not too long ago. It was hard for me to get over because I didn't see the value in myself as a person. I valued my girlfriend so much that I felt I wasn't even worthy of being with her. Why?

 

Well she does well academically. I however, failed last college semester and am now changing my major. At the moment, I am considering starting my own business (which my ex has no idea about). The business I am trying to start is a pretty ambitious goal for someone my age, I'll admit.

 

My ex and I go to the same church. When she broke up with me, I wanted to be friends and tried to talk to her, but she insisted on turning her nose up at me. She wouldn't talk to me at all. She was really rude whenever I texted her. She wouldn't even look at me in public.

 

I took a hiatus from church. If I am not mistaken, she (and everyone who knew we were dating) believes that I left because I just couldn't handle the break up. The real reason was that I was putting everything I had into starting a business. Quick question: Assuming I am correct in what she thinks, does she now think that I am weak? Just wondering if that is what girls typically think when a guy disappears after a breakup.

 

So I eventually came back to church almost 6 months after the breakup. I come when I can, so no one really knows when I am going to show up. Whenever I am there, my ex always ends up in a conversation with someone in close proximity of me (as in an close earshot). At first I thought it was a coincidence, but perhaps it isn't. It happens several times throughout the church day whenever I am there. I have heard that she is "talking" to someone else now. For all I know they are dating and cuddling as I am typing this. Doesn't bother me.

 

Today my ex did her little nearby chit-chat thing several times and then while I was talking to someone she came (with a friend) and interrupted us by shaking his hand. I am starting to believe this is intentional. When we first broke up it used to hurt me, but now it is just annoying. Very annoying. Is she doing this for attention even though she is with someone else? At first she was avoiding me at all costs and now it seems like every time I look over my shoulder, she is right there.

 

When I brought this up to the person I consider a spiritual parent, he told me something that shocked me. He doesn't have a shallow view of women at all. He talks about girls my age like they are angels most of the time. Like deities I could never hope to have a chance with. Without further delay, here is what he said:

 

"Kaiten, this is going to kinda surprise you but I have a feeling that if you become successful with this business, she will be all over you. Girls are attracted to success. Her mother will be talking to you again, even."

 

Is this really true? Like really true? Because I thought relationships were all about emotional security and all that stuff? Please be as elaborate and detailed as you like in your comments. I really look forward to reading them.

 

PS. My ex's mother used to love me. She considered me very wise while I was dating her daughter. Now she doesn't even talk to me. (That hurt at first, of course, but now I don't care). Also if it helps at all, I just turned 22 years old.

[sweetkiwi]

Yes. It's true SOME *people* are materialistic fhuck heads who value people on their bank account. But this girl dumped you, is supposedly trying to make you feel awkward at church, and better yet, has been rude to you.

 

Why do you care about this person? If I were you I'd light a flaming bag of poo and burn this connection to the ground.

[CarrieT]

When she broke up with me, I wanted to be friends and tried to talk to her, but she insisted on turning her nose up at me. She wouldn't talk to me at all. She was really rude whenever I texted her. She wouldn't even look at me in public.

That is called "No Contact" and it is what many of us recommend to get over break-ups. Don't blame her for not talking to you... It was probably healthiest for her her to heal and it seems now you have started to heal.

 

\

Quick question: Assuming I am correct in what she thinks, does she now think that I am weak?

Why do you care what she thinks?

 

"Kaiten, this is going to kinda surprise you but I have a feeling that if you become successful with this business, she will be all over you. Girls are attracted to success. Her mother will be talking to you again, even."

 

Is this really true? Like really true?

Again - why do you care?

 

Also if it helps at all, I just turned 22 years old.

Ah, now this speaks volumes...

 

Honestly, I don't think you should drop out of school to start a business. If you can, stay in school AND start the business. But all the rest of the stuff about your Ex and her Mother? Let it go...

 

Time to move on.

[Kaiten]

I dont care what she thinks about me, Carrie. I am just trying to understand women. Also, I already have moved on, but I can't but notice her popping up near me like that. It's kind of annoying.

 

When I asked if it was true, I wasn't meaning that I desire to be back in contact with them. I am asking if this is the way that women (generally speaking) think.

[Kaiten]

Why do you care about this person? If I were you I'd light a flaming bag of poo and burn this connection to the ground.

 

I dont care about her like that. Not like I want to be with her. the thing is that now that I am trying to stay away from her it's like I can't avoid her. I am just trying to understand how ex girlfriends think.

[Kaiten]

But this girl dumped you, is supposedly trying to make you feel awkward at church, and better yet, has been rude to you.

 

I agree with what you say here. I think she is actually trying to make me feel awkward. I just want to leave her alone. I don't have anything to say to her.

 

But why would someone do that? Im not messing with her

[fireb3nder]

Greetings ladies (and nosy gentlemen),

 

Today my ex did her little nearby chit-chat thing several times and then while I was talking to someone she came (with a friend) and interrupted us by shaking his hand. I am starting to believe this is intentional. When we first broke up it used to hurt me, but now it is just annoying. Very annoying. Is she doing this for attention even though she is with someone else?

 

"Kaiten, this is going to kinda surprise you but I have a feeling that if you become successful with this business, she will be all over you. Girls are attracted to success. Her mother will be talking to you again, even."

 

Is this really true? Like really true? Because I thought relationships were all about emotional security and all that stuff? Please be as elaborate and detailed as you like in your comments. I really look forward to reading them.

 

PS. My ex's mother used to love me. She considered me very wise while I was dating her daughter. Now she doesn't even talk to me. (That hurt at first, of course, but now I don't care). Also if it helps at all, I just turned 22 years old.

 

Yes on the first one. She is doing it intentionally, to get your attention once more. About success, yes thats true. Success means stability and security - financially, luxury and comfort. Relationships are about emotional stuff but not everyone views it thatway. All the best on your endeavors

[Kaiten]

thank you for your response fir3bender. It makes sense to me the way that you say it. It's not about materialism huh? Its the stability and security of success...I see now.