Ex is engaged in an arranged marriage situation, but still contacts me?

[Mykonos]

My ex is getting married in an arranged marriage in 2 weeks. He is arabian, and I am white. We dated 3 years ago, and the relationship lasted for 2 years. We had a very very passionate relationship. He broke things off with me and kind of played the field for awhile before he was arranged to be married by his family. He was very distant to me when we broke up, and I was torn up inside. He was kind of a jerk too back when we broke up. He has called me every month or two while he has been engaged to this girl though. He tells me how much he loves me still and how he messed things up between us. I never answer his calls though out of respect for his fiancé. Except last night, I told him good luck with his wedding and marriage when he called. He told me that he never calls people back if they don't answer the first time because it hurts his pride, but he always calls me back for some reason even though I NEVER answer. He also kept messing up his explanations for things... he never fumbled over his words like this before... was he nervous?!

 

Last night he also told me that John Smith and Pocahontas never got married.... kind of like our situation. I think he is talking about the movie here. He told me that had I answered his calls earlier in the year, he would have gotten back together with me, but now that his wedding is so close he cannot cancel it. He has already paid a dowry to this girl's father. He also said he is not in love with her now, but in arranged marriages love comes after you get married... according to him. I just told him good luck in his marriage and that I wish him the best and hung up. He knows that I have a boyfriend now and isn't happy about it. He obviously isn't in love with this girl yet, because he is still contacting me. I am very upset at what I heard last night, but I needed to tell him that I wished him a happy marriage.

 

I'm just wondering if anybody can dissect this? Why is he doing this? I was shocked when he brought up the Pocahontas comment especially. I just need some peace.

[Red Wolverine]

1. He wants a side piece in case the sex isn't good with his wife.

2. If the sex is good, he will probably stop contacting you.

3. He wants to blame you for him going through with the marriage.

4. He's a scumbag.

[findingnemo]

He is an Arab and I assume a Muslim from a conservative family which probably has money or some sort of status. Muslim because he is an Arab although there are a few Christians. The family status is an assumption because of the arranged M practice.

 

The good news is that he can marry more than one woman if he is a Muslim. The bad news is that he thinks very very differently from you about what love is, what a man's role in a M is and what fidelity means. He is also extremely loyal to his family and their customs. He doesnt love his W. Heck, he probably doesn't even know her. She is likely to be a distant cousin or a member of another prominent family. He knows you think differently but wants you to accept his way of thinking. He will end up staying with his W and will love her because she is the mother of his kids.

 

The Pocahontas and John Smith comparison is quite accurate. Pocahontas was from a very strict and rigid culture that didn't like White people. They frowned upon their women marrying them. Since John Smith was White and unacceptable, Pocahontas had no expectations of being properly married according to her culture. So they had a non-legally binding R and lived somewhat happily ever after. In this story, you are John Smith and he is Pocahontas. He wants to get married and still have you in a foreign country as what is known in his culture as a "concubine".