Lonely new years Eve

[Mimi]

Well, I thought I would write and vent. I am really tired of working hard, being a good person, etc. Yet I was single again this New Years' Eve. My boyfriend broke up with me a month ago. Dropped off a Christmas present yesterday(whatever that means, even though it was absolutely lovely).

 

So, I went to a party that I was invited to by friends tonight. Rang in the New Year, hopped in my car and left.

 

It's just frustrating, tiring and confusing....

 

Everyone says I'm very attractive. I know that technically on paper I would be married off with children, etc. But, I have a hard time meeting men in a smaller city, where you know everyone. I love my ex boyfriend and really thought we had a future together. He just couldn't commit.

 

Well, just feeling really blue. Maybe the year 2001 will be better.

 

Any thoughts for me out there?

[Arikel]

Don't feel too lonely out there. I was left alone for the new year as well. Except my boyfriend didn't break up with me, he just decided to do something that didn't involve me for the night...Go figure. At least we can be here for each other for the new year. And what you said was right, maybe 2001 will be better.

 

*hugs*

Well, I thought I would write and vent. I am really tired of working hard, being a good person, etc. Yet I was single again this New Years' Eve. My boyfriend broke up with me a month ago. Dropped off a Christmas present yesterday(whatever that means, even though it was absolutely lovely).

 

So, I went to a party that I was invited to by friends tonight. Rang in the New Year, hopped in my car and left. It's just frustrating, tiring and confusing....

 

Everyone says I'm very attractive. I know that technically on paper I would be married off with children, etc. But, I have a hard time meeting men in a smaller city, where you know everyone. I love my ex boyfriend and really thought we had a future together. He just couldn't commit. Well, just feeling really blue. Maybe the year 2001 will be better. Any thoughts for me out there?

[Lonely Joe]

You was lonely for the New Year. I've been lonely for 5 years now. My life revolves around my computer. I go to work, work for 8 hours come home and get on my computer and do whatever it is I can come up with.

 

Literally, I have no friends. I cannot tell you the last time I went out, I have no friends of either gender. It's been 5 years since I've had a girlfriend.

 

It's is sometimes though to go through holidays. You see everyone so happy, someone that has someone to love and to hold. Here I am with absolutly nobody!

 

Don't feel bad, be glad. Honestly, be happy that he left you. I mean would you rather be with someone that is ready to commit and love you or be with someone that pretends they want to be serious and pretends to love you?

 

Move on, you know what it is like to be in love while people like me that is truely lonely has nobody at all.

[Guest]

My girlfriend dumped me about 6 weeks ago and most of my friends went back home for New Years.

 

 

My New Years was not and I still can't get my ex out of my head no matter what anyone says (it appears she couldn't commit...she dumped me because she was 28 and confused).

 

 

Christmas was almost as miserable but at least many friends (now working interstate) were around.

 

 

So you are not the only one.

 

Paul

[Lone wolf]

I would have liked to have been with people my own

 

age. I went out with my mother to eat and to a movie.

 

It was better than staying in.

 

I have given up partying. On nights like tonight, it is

 

hard. It has only been a few months since I stopped and it is too soon for me to go to a party or bar without

 

getting drunk. That is what most people my age still like to do(the ones I know anyways). I made the decision for a few reasons. I had to lose friends because of the simple fact they like to drink a lot. The few friendships I have left are shakey. I have almost no family and no significant other. This is loneliest point in my life in about 12 years. I went through a phase similar to this. I hope it is only a phase.

 

Of course when I go back to work on Monday, everyone will be asking what I did for the holiday. I am tired of saying nothing or I went out with my mother. It's just

 

like rubbing salt in the wound even though they probably don't mean any harm in it.

You was lonely for the New Year. I've been lonely for 5 years now. My life revolves around my computer. I go to work, work for 8 hours come home and get on my computer and do whatever it is I can come up with. Literally, I have no friends. I cannot tell you the last time I went out, I have no friends of either gender. It's been 5 years since I've had a girlfriend. It's is sometimes though to go through holidays. You see everyone so happy, someone that has someone to love and to hold. Here I am with absolutly nobody! Don't feel bad, be glad. Honestly, be happy that he left you. I mean would you rather be with someone that is ready to commit and love you or be with someone that pretends they want to be serious and pretends to love you? Move on, you know what it is like to be in love while people like me that is truely lonely has nobody at all.

[Juds]

I too spent the night feeling pretty lonely. I am a sole parent of 4 children, so spent the night at home with the kids tucked up in bed, while all my friends went to family barbeques, parties, or out partying.

I am only 32, and I swear sometimes I feel like I'm 132. My ex, bless his heart (haha) has gone off to Far North Queensland (Oz) on a chartered yacht. How nice for him, and yet quite typical of the selfish behaviour that led me to leave him in the first place.

 

I really do think that Xmas and the New Year are pretty hard times for so many people, not least us singles. It is almost expected that you should be out and about, partying, when realistically, it is no different to any normal night of the year. Seems like all the expectations can drag us down.

 

I hired 2 GREAT movies from the video store, curled up on the sofa, and thoroughly enjoyed the fact that I could sit in my own living room, watching what I chose, and do exactly what I wanted to do. Of course I would have preferred to be out, or happily in a relationship, but sometimes the pleasures of my own company are far better than being in an unhappy situation just for the sake of it.

 

True friends ARE hard to find, but I have come to one conclusion. They don't come knocking on your door. You have to get out there and FIND them. Friends can make the difference of a breakup being painful, but bearable - OR seemingly insufferable. Loneliness can be cured, but you have to get out there.

 

Just rest assured that we are probably only a few of the people who spent New Year alone, and probably lonely too.

[Rogue]

C'mon guys. You're taking this whole season all wrong. Heck, I'm single right now too, and sure I could feel lonely this time of year if I wanted to, but I'm not. I didn't go out with friends, I didn't spend it with that *special* someone, but I didn't sit at home feeling sorry for myself either.

 

Those of you around friends and family have no excuse not to have a good time, even if you just broke up with someone. Who says you can't enjoy the company of your friends just cause you broke up with someone!?? You can still laugh,joke around, heck, even gripe about your problems. You don't have to drink at all really, just try to enjoy a season that comes once a year.

 

You guys act like being single is some sort of stigma. Well, I know a heck of a lot of married people who constantly wish they were still single! There's nothing wrong with being single for a while, it's not like the human race gets married when we're 12 years old. That means the majority of us have to spend a lot of time being single or in relationships that are destined to end. So where's the shame on being alone on new years???

 

So, you guys didn't have a fun New Years Eve. Well then folks, you have to remedy the situation. I order you guys to have a fun New Year's Day!! That's an order!!! Go call up a friend, and have a cup of coffee together.Or take the kids out for lunch. Or make your mother some breakfast. What I'm trying to tell you is not to rely too much on you romantic relationships for your happiness. Romantic relationships make you feel great, but it shouldn't be mean everything to you. Think about that,guys.

[Tony T]

I knonw what it feels like to feel down and lonely on New Years. But the cure for that day is the same as for any other.

 

Take the focus off yourself. When you feel your life circumstances are really low, visit the children's ward of a local hospital. Do things to boost the spirits of the youngsters there, some of whom have limbs amputated, some dying of cancer, some a bit better off...but all in the hospital for the holidays.

 

Seeing people lots worse off than yourself can really put things into perspective.

 

While you're there, you could meet a nice young doctor out of med school or a beautiful nurse and your whole day could be turned around as a result.

[Lone wolf]

I certainly was not referring to romantic relationships.

C'mon guys. You're taking this whole season all wrong. Heck, I'm single right now too, and sure I could feel lonely this time of year if I wanted to, but I'm not. I didn't go out with friends, I didn't spend it with that *special* someone, but I didn't sit at home feeling sorry for myself either. Those of you around friends and family have no excuse not to have a good time, even if you just broke up with someone. Who says you can't enjoy the company of your friends just cause you broke up with someone!?? You can still laugh,joke around, heck, even gripe about your problems. You don't have to drink at all really, just try to enjoy a season that comes once a year. You guys act like being single is some sort of stigma. Well, I know a heck of a lot of married people who constantly wish they were still single! There's nothing wrong with being single for a while, it's not like the human race gets married when we're 12 years old. That means the majority of us have to spend a lot of time being single or in relationships that are destined to end. So where's the shame on being alone on new years???

 

So, you guys didn't have a fun New Years Eve. Well then folks, you have to remedy the situation. I order you guys to have a fun New Year's Day!! That's an order!!! Go call up a friend, and have a cup of coffee together.Or take the kids out for lunch. Or make your mother some breakfast. What I'm trying to tell you is not to rely too much on you romantic relationships for your happiness. Romantic relationships make you feel great, but it shouldn't be mean everything to you. Think about that,guys.

[leah]

i was feeling sorry for myself last night too. i had a few offers to go out, but none felt great. i just really wanted to be with a love. but, right now, there is no one.

 

one friend in particular, invited me to a party she was having. she was very persistent in trying to get me to go. it was all couples except me. i said i felt uncomfortable.

 

well, after the gym, i was showering and said, screw it - go - see what happens.

 

not only did i happily surprise my friend (she told me 3 times last night how happy she was i was there) - the couples were mingling all night and i didn't feel uncomfortable.

 

tony is right - take the focus of yourself and loosen up and have a good time with your circumstances right now.

[Mimi]

I agree with all. We put way too much pressure on ourselves during the holidays.

 

I am going to go out and "find" some new friends, although I have plenty, I can use some more.

 

I only have one best friend, and she and I have been best friends forever. But her and her husband might move out of the area, and I realize I need to have a couple of other good female friends to talk with.

 

Also, recent breakups make it harder.,,, I'm sure you all understand.

 

To all the other wonderful people that wrote.....thank you.

 

And to the guy that said he has no friends, of either gender,.... you need to get out and find friends, they won't find you. If you have no friends, you need to find people with similar interests.... they are out there

[darkie]

O.K, this was a really nice response, but I just have to tell you that you are luckier than you think. I too, literally have no friends. I spent New Years Eve totally alone at home - everyone can feel better at that. I can say quite safely to all those people who went to parties (with or without their boyfriends), I am the biggest loser of all! Alone at home.

 

But you say you havent had a girlfriend for five years. You know what, I have never had a boyfriend! I'm 23 years old, I'm average looking (I've seen people uglier and I've seen people more good-looking), I have a career and university education, I'm a nice lovely person. But it just hasnt happened - no man wants me.

 

So my point is, (to everyone who is single at the moment) who cares if you haven't had someone for a while, or you're feeling lonely. At least you've had someone! You've known the kind of love and passion and fun that I have never known. How can you possibly feel sorry for yourself when you've experienced the amazing things that having a partner brings about! Think of me, who's never even had the chance to love and lose. I'm the lonely one here. I'm the loser. You just don't realise how lucky you really are. I just need to stress this, think about it, you've had it at one point. I would give anything to experience it!!!!!!!

[Tony T]

YOU WRITE: "I would give anything to experience it!!!!!!!"

 

As long as you think you "are the biggest loser"...YOUR OWN WORDS, you will never experience it.

 

Your problem is ONLY your attitude. Finding someone special has nothing to do with looks. I see some of the ugliest women with the best looking guys and some of the most beautiful women with super ranchy men...it's all in their attitude, their feelings about themselves.

 

Your post is oh, so negative. I really want you to experience love but I can't change your attitude or your feelings about yourself for you. You will have to do that yourself.

 

Maybe deep down, you aren't interested in romance. But if you really are, wow...you gotta change your outlook on yourself and life...FOR SURE!!!