NemesisPrime Posted August 13, 2013 Share Posted August 13, 2013 Hello all, I've read a few posts on here and thought I'd say hello and ask a question of my own! :-) I'm 33 years old and live in England. I'm quite a geeky kind of guy - I love Star Trek, Star Wars, sci-fi and fantasy, like games, go to conventions. I'd love to meet a woman that shared even just one of my interests. I've asked around in other places where would be the best place to meet someone like that and have had a few suggestions - mostly places I go to already, like conventions and book shops but I just can't find a geeky or nerdy match for me! When I go to cons, I see lots of women but they're either spoken for or live about a million miles away (ok - I may be slightly exaggerating there! lol). I was at a Transformers con at the weekend and there is a surprisingly large number of women there. Great! I was sitting there listening to some of the talks when a girl sat down next to me and struck up a conversation with me between talks. We got talking about Transformers and later Mass Effect (turns out we both really like those games). So I think this is going well... She kept coming back and chatting to me throughout the day and she seemed like an interesting person... then I find out she lives in Ireland (I guess the accent was a bit of a hint but I was hoping she maybe had moved over here). Too far away! Typical! lol When I once posted in a forum and mentioned I was looking for someone who was into similar things as me, I got several replies. Great! Except... not a single one lived near me. They were mostly from up north (and I live in the south) or one of them was in Cornwall (west! Doh!). There never seems to be anyone like that near me! I'm guessing the south of England is a big black hole when it comes to geeky women. I've never really met one in my home town. I've tried online dating sites but I never seem to find a genuine person like that. I've met a few women off of them and my last relationship was with someone I met on there who claimed she shared my interests but after 6 months she suddenly flipped and started insulting me and refusing to speak to me for weeks on end because I bought a Dalek toy while I was on a training course and that apparently meant I was a 'man child'. This is despite my owning my own house, being independent and living hundreds of miles away from my mum! lol One date I went on sounded really promising, I told her about an obscure 80s movie that I liked and she said she loved it too and reeled off loads of facts about it. We chatted about Star Trek and it seemed to be going great. Then I met her and couldn't get a word out of her for the first hour of the date. I asked her about the stuff we'd been talking about and she said she didn't know anything about that stuff and had never watched any of it! Needless to say, I didn't want to see her again. My theory is she was looking stuff up on Wikipedia or similar and making out she knew lots about that stuff. I've no idea why you would do that but then she sent me a 12 page email when I politely told her that I didn't feel she was for me - so I guess anything could have been possible there! I've met non-geeks for dates but conventions and my interests are a big part of my life and that tends to mean there isn't much to talk about. It would be lovely to have someone who shared an interest and I could take with me to a convention where they'd get as much enjoyment out of it as I do. Anyway, this isn't a 'woe is me' kind of email. I'm quite happy at the moment and keeping myself busy with things. I don't feel I 'need' to meet someone although it would be nice to have a family and things eventually. It's more a case of wanting that, if that makes sense? Considering the Internet is supposed to have geeks lurking everywhere, I don't tend to find many single female ones! Am I doing something wrong? I thought online dating would be a great place to meet someone like that but everyone I find on these things seems to look like a model and is only interested in climbing mountains and visiting every country on the planet. Nothing wrong with that - I like travelling too but it isn't the primary focus of what I like to do or talk about. Could it be my profile? Would I be able to post a link here so you can all tell me what's wrong with it? I'd appreciate any advice. It would be nice to find my geeky soul mate. :-) - G Link to post Share on other sites
Scrab22 Posted August 13, 2013 Share Posted August 13, 2013 My advice for you is to open up to other women. I understand your thinking - that a couple should have hobbies in common. It doesn't harm, truly. But what you really need in common is a mature soul. Furthermore, one thing that makes a relationship interesting is finding out about new hobbies, expanding your knowledge through your partner, and such. For instance, your partner is an artist and will start talking about art. Then you can tell her about how you find video game concept arts amazing! Try it out! Link to post Share on other sites
Jasper123 Posted August 14, 2013 Share Posted August 14, 2013 My advice for you is to open up to other women. I understand your thinking - that a couple should have hobbies in common. It doesn't harm, truly. But what you really need in common is a mature soul. Furthermore, one thing that makes a relationship interesting is finding out about new hobbies, expanding your knowledge through your partner, and such. For instance, your partner is an artist and will start talking about art. Then you can tell her about how you find video game concept arts amazing! Try it out! Totally agree with what you are saying, solid advice. This is also good advice: 9 Qualities to Look for in a Life PartnerLife'd 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted August 14, 2013 Share Posted August 14, 2013 i just say keep trying. "geeky" men are my type, because I'm an uber geeky nerdy girl. we're out there, you might just have to look even harder. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted August 14, 2013 Share Posted August 14, 2013 I won't lie to you, I think the ratio of male geeks to female ones is something like 5:1 at the very least, probably higher in some areas. I've never ceased to be fascinated by how some of the guys treated me like a rare spawn of sorts. I think that the other posters are on to something, in that you might have better luck broadening your horizons. I guess you really have to ask yourself how important shared interests are to you - there is nothing wrong with deciding 'yes, I can't have a relationship without them', but nothing wrong with the opposite, either. If you've thought about it and decided that you really can't have it any other way, then my only suggestion would be that you just get involved in more geek communities and get to know more people. You would be surprised how many female gamers don't out themselves as female publicly, but only to people they are familiar with. There are more out there than you think. I have never known a single geeky soul who used online dating (in the sense of OLD sites). Many did meet their partners online, but usually through organic means (games, forums, blogs, communities). Link to post Share on other sites
Pistol pete Posted August 14, 2013 Share Posted August 14, 2013 Don't know if you've ever tried online dating, but I'd certainly try your luck on OkCupid.. I find a lot of the women on there tend to quite geeky/quirky/bohemian, at least compared to other sites. Most tend to list their favourite types of movies and a fair few are into games and sci fi etc. Worth a go! Link to post Share on other sites
will1988 Posted August 14, 2013 Share Posted August 14, 2013 I agree with other commenters... you need to broaden your horizons. I am nerdy myself (not really geeky, because I don't like super heroes, comics, much sci fi, or much fantasy, and am not a tech person. Although, I love zombie stuff)... i am a huge World War II buff, and love history in general. I collect World War II uniforms, guns, helmets, equipment etc... I also like the American Civil War a lot... I even dabled in World War II re-enacting. I build WWII models and play minitures games. I've wrote books about the subject (admitedly, I've not tried to get any published)...and am debating getting my Doctorate in History. so I'm a nerd. My fiance on the other hand is a simple small town girl who shares none of those interests... Yet we work really well. I even brought out her inner geek a little bit, because she loved LOTR and the Hobbit be surpressed that interest due to where she was from... now our apartment is plastered with posters and stuff. So if you are honest about your self to women, and broaden your horizion you honestly never know who you will meet... the preppy chick you thought was hot but an air head could secretly love playing D&D. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NemesisPrime Posted August 15, 2013 Author Share Posted August 15, 2013 Thanks everyone for the replies. I've been in relationships in the past with non-geeks and they tend to get fed up with me! lol I wouldn't want to meet someone who was exactly the same as me - a female version of me is a disturbing thought! ;-) It would be nice to have at least one interest in common with someone so that when I did go somewhere I wouldn't feel like I was dragging them there or that they were bored and just putting up with it for me. I've got a date this evening with someone who is a non-geek - she sounds very nice but I'm already wondering what the conversation will be like... I guess I'll have to wait and see. I may be pleasantly surprised! It's a pity there isn't something in the UK for single geeks to meet - there's nothing like that here, that I'm aware of. I've seen the supposedly geeky dating sites and those are a bit of a joke to me - when I browse the profiles I struggle to find a single female near me that even likes something as generically geeky as Star Trek. I'm thinking there's maybe still a stigma here for a girl to admit that she likes things like that, which is a pity. - G Link to post Share on other sites
scubasteve Posted August 20, 2013 Share Posted August 20, 2013 i just say keep trying. "geeky" men are my type, because I'm an uber geeky nerdy girl. we're out there, you might just have to look even harder. You remind me of someone on YouTube Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted August 20, 2013 Share Posted August 20, 2013 You remind me of someone on YouTube who! Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted August 20, 2013 Share Posted August 20, 2013 IM not a woman, but I would think a woman might not find that type of stuff so attractive...One of my daughters friends fathers(mid 40's) plays MineCraft and actually interacts with the other kids..I dont like it, its creepy, and he better not EVER interact with my kid... Its just not very sexy, but some women might find that it is...(shrug) TFY Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted October 12, 2013 Share Posted October 12, 2013 Hello all, I've read a few posts on here and thought I'd say hello and ask a question of my own! :-) I'm 33 years old and live in England. I'm quite a geeky kind of guy - Forget geeky. Go skydiving. You will meet lots of great folks. And you will get invited to parties where you will meet lots of women. Even geeky ones if you wish. Link to post Share on other sites
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