about a friend

[matchbox28]

Hi. First post here. I usually find my own answers but on this topic I'm kinda confused and need some opinions.

 

WARNING: LONG POST

but i'll try to keep it as short as possible

 

I've been friends with this girl for 8 years now. I NEVER saw her anything more than a friend. I was in a relationship for 4 years while she was dealing with her own relationship. We were/are good friends but not best friends. We've helped each other out when our own fairy tale relationships ended. I spiraled into my own issues and didn't contact the girl for almost 2 years after my relationship ended. Soon after her own relationship ended.

 

Now, this year, I've been thinking about life as I'm almost 30 and its time to take some decisions. During my disappearance phase I met some people, who were younger than me and although they were into me I wasn't all that much into them so I moved on. I thought about my friend and started to realize how my friend posses qualities I look for and I'm not the type to mindlessly date people and neither is she.

 

So I was thinking maybe we could work out and since we're the same age, maturity (thought wise) would exist. I'm the free thinking dreamer and she's a realist. We could use the balance.

 

One fine day I call her up and talk about old friends being more than friends and how she would react, her reaction wasn't positive and she outright asked me if i'm thinking of being with her. I jokingly put it off.

 

BUT THIS IS WHERE THINGS BEGIN TO CONFUSE ME. She says i'm really sweet and can make anyone happy. Insists on going to the movies with me alone but we can't make time due to our busy schedules. She insists I go to events with her and I go to places where she is going. Insists that I spend time with her but somehow she ends up being busy - I know for a fact she is busy because of family, work and friends so I don't make a big deal out of it.

 

One day we finally hang out and I tell her my plans of going to a different country and she says to take her along and she can take care of me. I thought she was joking, she wasn't. She jokingly says to take her home to meet my parents and when I jokingly put it off, she gets serious. She flirts with me (unlike before). She says she wants to spend more time with me but that is something that never seems to materialize. I make plans, she cancels and vice versa. It's like meeting up is a hassle. Just yesterday we had plans but she had to cancel and suggested another time but I haven't given into it as I i'm getting real tired of being put off or having to cancel.

 

Now the thing is, I get the feeling she knows what my intentions are as I have given subtle hints and before (3-4 years back) she was different to me - no flirty, not going places alone, making plans etc.

 

So with my broken description of a short version of a very long tale, I need some opinions as to what to do? Note that I'm not madly in love with her or anything like that. I just *think* we can be a good couple and some of our mutual friends suggest the same thing. Its not like I don't have options or anything, I hurt easily and I don't want to end up with the wrong person like last time. Help?

[Philosoraptor]

You have quite a list of reasons there, but they seem more like a checklist than romantic connection.

 

You two play around enough it seems, and have a lot of fun together. I say it's time to stop all the talking and just do something about it if you're interested in seeing where it might go. Personally if I was in your shoes I would just wait for my opening and kiss her. No more talking, no more thinking... just raw emotion and see what happens.

[matchbox28]

I think you are right. I'll just stop beating around the bush. Thanks mate!